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All Joy and No Fun: The Paradox of Modern Parenthood [Anglais] [Relié]

Jennifer Senior

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Description de l'ouvrage

28 janvier 2014

Thousands of books have examined the effects of parents on their children. In All Joy and No Fun, award-winning journalist Jennifer Senior now asks: what are the effects of children on their parents?

In All Joy and No Fun, award-winning journalist Jennifer Senior tries to tackle this question, isolating and analyzing the many ways in which children reshape their parents' lives, whether it's their marriages, their jobs, their habits, their hobbies, their friendships, or their internal senses of self. She argues that changes in the last half century have radically altered the roles of today's mothers and fathers, making their mandates at once more complex and far less clear.

Recruiting from a wide variety of sources—in history, sociology, economics, psychology, philosophy, and anthropology—she dissects both the timeless strains of parenting and the ones that are brand new, and then brings her research to life in the homes of ordinary parents around the country. The result is an unforgettable series of family portraits, starting with parents of young children and progressing to parents of teens. Through lively and accessible storytelling, Senior follows these mothers and fathers as they wrestle with some of parenthood's deepest vexations—and luxuriate in some of its finest rewards.

Meticulously researched yet imbued with emotional intelligence, All Joy and No Fun makes us reconsider some of our culture's most basic beliefs about parenthood, all while illuminating the profound ways children deepen and add purpose to our lives. By focusing on parenthood, rather than parenting, the book is original and essential reading for mothers and fathers of today—and tomorrow.


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Descriptions du produit

Revue de presse

“Salted with insights and epigrams, the book is argued with bracing honesty and flashes of authentic wisdom…[an] excellent book.” (—Andrew Solomon, The New York Times Book Review)

“Always generous in tone, Senior is a keen observer of the impact children have on their parents’ marriages, mental health, work, and social lives, and she makes deft use of social-science research...the book’s most useful contribution may be the connection it makes between joy...and, surprisingly, grief.” (—The New Yorker)

“[An] astute book… clear and helpful… refreshing…an eye opening debut, and it will help a lot of parents feel less alone, if not less frazzled.” (—Janet Maslin, The New York Times)

“An important book, much the way The Feminine Mystique was, because it offers parents a common language, an understanding that they’re not alone in their struggles, and an explanation of the cultural, political, and economic reasons for them.” (—Christian Science Monitor)

“Jennifer Senior’s excellent new book… is not prescriptive. She doesn’t tell parents to be more mindful or drink more wine or neglect their kids; she just wants them to understand why they are always so stressed out.” (—Hanna Rosin, Slate)

“A quick, lively read...[Senior’s] carefully observed case studies of modern families read like scenes from novels.” (—San Francisco Chronicle)

“Senior’s wise compassion provides guidance that’s both necessary and inspiring.” (—Boston Globe)

“Attention childless persons: If you’re thinking of having kids, and are looking for an accurate assessment of the experience, disregard the holiday cards you may have received that portray merry families in various stages of triumph. Instead, read Jennifer Senior’s book. This eloquent read is a tonic” (—Huffington Post)

“[ALL JOY AND NO FUN is a] richly woven, entertaining, enlightening, wrenching and funny book.” (—Washington Post)

“[The] glimpses into the conundrums of other parents are thought-provoking and fun to read” (—Newsday)

“Chatty, generous and yet statistically grounded reverse-angle of the usual studies of what parents do to children.” (—New York Post)

“If you are tempted to read just one more book on the arguably over examined subject of parenthood, let it be Jennifer Senior’s wise and surprising ALL JOY AND NO FUN.” (—Elle)

“All Joy’s signal contribution is that its journalist author chose to focus on how child-rearing affects parents-many of whom feel thoroughly stressed.” (—The Week)

“Jennifer Senior successfully connects a barrage of scholarship with the real experiences of moms and dads, and the resulting book, ALL JOY AND NO FUN, is completely fascinating….” (—BookPage)

“An indispensable map for a journey that most of us take without one. Brilliant, funny and brimming with insight... an important book that every parent should read, and then read again. Jennifer Senior is surely one of the best writers on the planet.” (Daniel Gilbert, New York Times bestselling author of Stumbling on Happiness)

“If you’re a parent in 2014, you have to get your hands on this book. Wise, engrossing, and so real that I fear Senior has been spying inside my house, All Joy is a must-read for those of us whose lives have been enriched and derailed by having kids.” (Curtis Sittenfeld, bestselling author of Prep and American Wife.)

“A lovely, thoughtful book, written in a generous spirit and with a piercing intelligence. Jennifer Senior manages to mix unflinching social commentary with a warm and compassionate voice.” (Susan Cain, bestselling author of Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking)

All Joy and No Fun captures the complex texture of parents lives, the joys and the sorrows, highs and lows, with remarkable insight, intelligence, sensitivity, and subtlety.” (Alison Gopnik, bestselling author of The Philosophical Baby)

“Jennifer Senior has written a wonderful, smart, and deeply reported book that challenges many of the most sacred assumptions about modern parenthood. Written with authority and wisdom, it is destined to be the one book that all parents take with them on their mad, hair-raising, and, yes, joyous odyssey.” (David Grann, bestselling author of The Lost City of Z)

“Travelling far beyond the infant and toddler years into the acute challenges of adolescence, Senior ingeniously deconstructs the kinds of experiences that all parents have but few parents talk about, revealing in countless ways that none of us are in this alone. I loved this book.” (Madeline Levine, bestselling author of Teach Your Children Well)

“The perfect intellectual Rx for today’s overstressed parents. While scrupulously considering ‘big data,’ the triumph is Senior’s own observations, presented with modesty and offhanded style, which brilliantly take down myths...a profound book about the meaning of love and how we raise not just our children, but ourselves.” (Tom Reiss, author of The Black Count, winner of the 2013 Pulitzer Prize)

Quatrième de couverture

Thousands of books have examined the effects of parents on their children. But almost none have thought to ask: What are the effects of children on their parents?

In All Joy and No Fun, award-winning journalist Jennifer Senior tries to tackle this question, isolating and analyzing the many ways in which children reshape their parents' lives, whether it's their marriages, their jobs, their habits, their hobbies, their friendships, or their internal senses of self. She argues that changes in the last half century have radically altered the roles of today's mothers and fathers, making their mandates at once more complex and far less clear. Recruiting from a wide variety of sources—in history, sociology, economics, psychology, philosophy, and anthropology—she dissects both the timeless strains of parenting and the ones that are brand new, and then brings her research to life in the homes of ordinary parents around the country. The result is an unforgettable series of family portraits, starting with parents of young children and progressing to parents of teens. Through lively and accessible storytelling, Senior follows these mothers and fathers as they wrestle with some of parenthood's deepest vexations—and luxuriate in some of its fi nest rewards.

Meticulously researched yet imbued with emotional intelligence, All Joy and No Fun makes us reconsider some of our culture's most basic beliefs about parenthood, all while illuminating the profound ways children deepen and add purpose to our lives. By focusing on parenthood, rather than parenting, the book is original and essential reading for mothers and fathers of today—and tomorrow.


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Couverture | Copyright | Table des matières | Extrait | Index | Quatrième de couverture
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Amazon.com: 4.4 étoiles sur 5  140 commentaires
158 internautes sur 167 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 One of the best books I've ever read on parenting. 26 janvier 2014
Par Ladybug - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format:Relié|Commentaire client Vine pour produit gratuit (De quoi s'agit-il?)
Yes, it's one of the best books I've ever read about parenting--and, ironically, it isn't even about parenting. At least not specifically. Senior makes it very clear in her introduction that this is more a book about the history and changing definition of what it means to be a parent, rather than a book of parenting advice. She warns the reader that she will have to sift and sort through the information given in order to find that "advice," but, honestly, I found so much here that will influence my future parenting style and decisions.

For example, it was interesting to learn that parenting as we know it is a relatively new concept. It wasn't until after World War II, when the US began enacting child labor laws, that "childhood" came into existence. Before then, our kids were expected to work, contribute, or be invisible. Once we started protecting them more, though, and requiring less and less of them, our kids became, as Senior somewhat playfully puts it, useless. This uselessness (or maybe purposelessness is a gentler word?) has kind of snowballed over time and led to a whole host of other issues, including bored and unchallenged teenagers and parents who have made it their jobs to fill in their toddlers' spare time with hosts of educational, time-consuming, character-building activities. As kids have become more useless, their restlessness has grown--and parents have taken on the burden of relieving this restlessness.

In short, one of the lessons I am taking away from this book is that my kids (ages 4 and 2) need to be challenged!--and not necessarily through intense or chaotic play dates and heavily-managed planned activities. Instead, I'm focusing on increasing their responsibilities when it comes to taking care of themselves and our house. They can clean, put on their own clothes, maybe even start cooking. I'm going to let them feel boredom and frustration...and I'm going to let them wait out the negative feelings until they experience those wonderful sensations of accomplishment, personal responsibility, and that feeling of belonging that comes when you contribute to something that benefits you AND the people around you.

At any rate, this book is packed with interesting information and insight. I loved it from start to finish, and I know I will be reading it again at some point in the future. Just a great book all around. Highly recommended!
85 internautes sur 93 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 Great Gift for a New Mother 8 janvier 2014
Par Mandy Payne - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format:Relié|Commentaire client Vine pour produit gratuit (De quoi s'agit-il?)
There are so many books about how we should do what we do when it comes to our children. This book was a refreshing change. I've always felt that the best way to show a child how to live right is to treat yourself the way you want them to treat themselves. Would i want my child to endure a miserable marriage "for the sake of the children"? Would I want my child to sacrifice everything for another? Nope. This book takes some pressure off of the mother by exploring their meaning beyond just life support for the new arrivals.

I am nearing the end of raising a child. The toddler frustrations and crying and mayhem are all forgotten and I am left now with fond memories of the angel that this scowling, teenage stranger used to be. Although teenage years are covered in the book, this is more suited for someone right in the throes of wondering why they destroyed their figure for this beast who won't stop screaming no matter how much money we spend on them.

There is very little advice in this text, but a lot of insight and knowledge. This book is very well written; the relationships with children and the spouse interwoven in a flowing pattern that made it a real pleasure to read.
66 internautes sur 76 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 HATED IT and then LOVED IT 14 novembre 2013
Par InfoFish - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format:Relié|Commentaire client Vine pour produit gratuit (De quoi s'agit-il?)
I started reading this book and HATED it. It made my heart rate rocket and it was so frustrating because I kept looking for solutions to the problems of being overwhelmed, under-equipped, exhausted and wondering "is this all there is?" But by the end of the book my opinion totally changed. We are all in this parenthood thing and it is no fun and it is exhausting and overwhelming. And in the end we are left remembering mostly the joy and connections. Children give structure and meaning to our lives. And that does not come cheaply (emotionally and physically and mentally and monetarily)! Particularly poignant was the story of the grandma with Cam - she adopts her daughter's baby boy when her daughter passes. I am not going to give away this story, but in relating it to one of my other mom friends at work (who is exhausted, overwhelmed, rinse and repeat) I started crying - right there at work. The book is well written. Crazy well written. Just don't look for solutions to the overwhelm.
48 internautes sur 62 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 Being a parent: a most harrowing and rewarding experince 3 février 2014
Par Jojoleb - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format:Relié|Commentaire client Vine pour produit gratuit (De quoi s'agit-il?)
All Joy and No Fun, by Jennifer Senior, is a different kind of book about parenting. There are many how-to books about parenting: how to discipline our children, how to speak to our children, how to raise our children to be successes... the list goes on. But there are almost no books about parents.

By talking directly to parents and carefully reviewing the existing scientific literature, Senior has crafted an incredibly insightful and easily accessible book about what happens to parents as a result of parenting.

Senior takes us through the various stages of parenting: planning, early childhood, the middle school years, and adolescence, making pointed and careful observations about how having children changes us, burdens us, and truly enriches our lives.

Senior makes no bones about who she is surveying: her book is strictly directed towards middle class parents. She doesn't discuss the upper crust, who can spend the big bucks outsourcing whatever painful parts of parenting they wish to eschew. She also doesn't discuss poorer parents, where financial burdens of existence may supersede many parenting issues in day-to-day life.

Modern, middle class parenting was born sometime in the 1940s. Between 1890 and 1920, child labor was banned, and the seeds of the era of the 'useless child' were planted. Since that time, children have been been transformed from unsentimental cogs in the family machine to cherished commodities that contribute little to a family's bottom line. Feeding, clothing, educating, and caring for our children places incredible emotional and monetary strain on parents and we have to do this with little overall contribution to the family effort from the children themselves. Moreover, as a society we are having children later in life and having fewer children. This means that we not only miss the freedom we had before deciding to have children later in life, but we have fewer children, making them even more of a precious commodity.

Senior reviews the repercussions of these changes in parenting in a decidedly unsentimental, journalistic way. She never sugarcoats or pulls any punches but she doesn't gripe or exaggerate either. When she interviews parents, she has a unique way of getting to the heart of an issue. She makes a cogent analysis and then looks to scientific studies that validate her experience in the field.

Parenting--as it turns out--ends up being the one of the most harrowing and rewarding experiences of modern existence. As parents we derive incredible meaning from our lives by caring for our children, but we also have a burden of responsibility that strains our life. This, as the subtitle purports, is 'the paradox of modern parenthood.'

The book was gripping from the get-go. Senior's interviews with sample parents might as well have been interviews with me or with my peers. Even when Senior's interviewee's circumstances were clearly different from mine, their thought process was nearly identical.

Senior fully admits in her introduction that there are few 'answers' to the problems that she poses in the book. However, there is a great deal of wisdom and quite a number of lessons that can be learned from understanding the whys and wherefores that Senior describes in the book.

Sometimes the lessons in this book are painful and other times they are full of a great deal of humor. But after reading this book I realized that this is exactly the kind of book that I have been waiting to read for a very long time--I just didn't know it!

Highly recommended.
17 internautes sur 21 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 They're so wonderful when they're asleep. 2 février 2014
Par K. Varraso - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format:Relié|Commentaire client Vine pour produit gratuit (De quoi s'agit-il?)
This humorous book lets you remember (or find out) all those lovely stages your children go through in response to their age and your parenting style. It also looks at the marital/parenting relationship, and let me know that my husband really did almost at much house work and child care as I did, he just did it differently.

It wasn't able to solve the "Mom gets to do diapers, potty training, [bad] school parent meetings, and Dad gets to take the kids to the Zoo, hand out candy and watch the Three Stooges with the kid, and both counts as equal child care time." dilemma. I think it will take more than a book, it will take a miracle. (only kidding)

Really Moms, part of the exhaustion you get from raising kids isn't just the time spent with them, trying vainly to turn them from adorable blobs to productive, well-mannered and successful adults; it's all the stuff in your head: Doctor's appointments, homework help, worry about everything. I don't know if it's completely gender-tied, but Men just don't freak over these things until they actually come up. I wish I could do the same thing.

Back to the book: I inhaled it, even though my child-rearing days are long behind me. It kept me laughing, remembering and seething about some of the perceived (and real) unfairness that parents go through as they raise the little monsters and turn them into nice employed people. It's a great book for any parent of young children who isn't too exhausted to read it.
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