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Compelling People: The Hidden Qualities That Make Us Influential (English Edition) [Format Kindle]

John Neffinger , Matthew Kohut
4.0 étoiles sur 5  Voir tous les commentaires (1 commentaire client)

Prix éditeur - format imprimé : EUR 13,33
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Descriptions du produit

Revue de presse

“Not only does this book tell you why people react to you as they do, it also provides specific suggestions for managing your image.  This book is a must-read for all leaders who want to maximize their influence on others.”
—Art Markman, University of Texas Professor and author of Smart Thinking and Habits of Leadership
“This is not just another pop-psych book: it's the first book to capture and share the insights from all the recent groundbreaking research on how we judge and persuade each other. And it translates that into simple, practical terms anyone can use to build more effective relationships at the office or at home. I'm glad they wrote it so I didn't have to.”
—Amy Cuddy, Harvard Business School Associate Professor
“Human psychology is never more fascinating than in this book. It is both serious and engaging. Kohut and Neffinger will help you to lead — and succeed — in everything from public speaking to love. This is a wonderful read.”
—Joseph S. Nye, Jr., Harvard University Professor and author of The Powers to Lead
“Neffinger and Kohut will blow your mind with their unified theory of everything that matters. Compelling People goes deep with an idea that will have you reexamining your instincts and opinions about everyone from co-workers and dates to politicians and celebrities.”
—Amy Argetsinger, Washington Post "Reliable Source" Columnist
“Thanks to John Neffinger and Matt Kohut, I now have a much greater understanding of how to better influence and connect with all the people I encounter every day. Compelling People is a fascinating, beguiling read with the potential to change your life.”
—Lynne Olson, author of Those Angry Days and Citizens of London
“Neffinger and Kohut brilliantly illuminate how successful people negotiate possibilities and pitfalls to find success and avoid failure.”
—Liz Coleman, Bennington College President
“Compelling People, offers a wealth of practical approaches for understanding and improving how each of us presents ourselves to the world.”
—Cheryl Strauss Einhorn, Columbia Business School Adjunct Professor

Présentation de l'éditeur

Everyone wants to know how to be more influential. But most of us don't really think we can have the kind of magnetism or charisma that we associate with someone like Bill Clinton or Oprah Winfrey unless it comes naturally.

Now, in Compelling People, which is already being taught at Harvard and Columbia Business Schools, John Neffinger and Matthew Kohut show that this isn't something we have to be born with-it's something we can learn. Expanding on the themes in their co-authored Harvard Business Review cover story "Connect, Then Lead," they trace the path to influence through a balance of strength (the root of respect) and warmth (the root of affection). Each seems simple, but only a few of us figure out the tricky task of projecting both at once. The ability to master this dynamic is so rare that we celebrate and elevate those people who have managed to do it.

Drawing on cutting-edge social science research as well as their own work with Fortune 500 executives, members of Congress, TED speakers, and Nobel Prize winners, Neffinger and Kohut reveal:

- The common thread connecting Machiavelli and Martin Luther King
- The secret technique behind the success of Bill Clinton, Ann Richards and Denzel Washington-one that you can use today
- How looks affect our career prospects
- The single best strategy for getting someone to agree with you

Offering practical advice for a range of common and challenging situations, Compelling People explains how we size each other up-and how we can learn to win the admiration, respect, and affection we desire.

Détails sur le produit

  • Format : Format Kindle
  • Taille du fichier : 1252 KB
  • Nombre de pages de l'édition imprimée : 305 pages
  • Editeur : Piatkus (15 août 2013)
  • Vendu par : Amazon Media EU S.à r.l.
  • Langue : Anglais
  • Synthèse vocale : Activée
  • X-Ray :
  • Word Wise: Activé
  • Composition améliorée: Activé
  • Moyenne des commentaires client : 4.0 étoiles sur 5  Voir tous les commentaires (1 commentaire client)
  • Classement des meilleures ventes d'Amazon: n°128.577 dans la Boutique Kindle (Voir le Top 100 dans la Boutique Kindle)

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Commentaires client les plus utiles
Par Manageris TOP 1000 COMMENTATEURS
Format:CD|Achat vérifié
Les auteurs expliquent comment nous pouvons davantage tirer parti des signaux non verbaux que nous envoyons à nos interlocuteurs : il s'agit de travailler sur ces deux axes que sont la force (qui est la base du respect) et la chaleur (qui nourrit l'affection). Les leaders les plus charismatiques savent équilibrer leur gestuelle pour jouer sur ces deux registres.
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Amazon.com: 4.1 étoiles sur 5  73 commentaires
85 internautes sur 90 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 A compelling read and first-rate training manual for increasing your personal power 19 août 2013
Par Dr Ali Binazir - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format:Relié|Achat vérifié
Every once in a while, a book comes along that has the power to really change the way I see the world and move in it. In 2012, it was The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business by Charles Duhigg. The year before, it was Thinking, Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman. Compelling People: The Hidden Qualities That Make Us Influential is that kind of book.

The central premise of the book is that in any encounter, people base how they feel about you on how you project strength and warmth. Once you become aware of what your unconscious strength and warmth signals are, you can learn to modulate them to connect better with people, influence them, and just be a more effective all-around human being. From the worlds of psychology, neuroscience, acting, political science, they've compiled some of the best practices for presenting your best self to the world.

Some things I like about this book:

1) Neffinger and Kohut are seasoned professionals who have coached dozens of world-renowned politicians, businessmen, military leaders and speakers. When they dispense a tip -- like "hold the imaginary ball when you're speaking" -- it's a proven tip that insiders at the top of their game use. I felt like I was getting their probably very expensive one-on-one coaching at a huge discount.

2) The authors draw upon the scientific literature to back up their points - no speculation here. Anecdotes are nice, but when someone cites the hard science of how and why something works, it becomes even more convincing for me. For example, I really appreciated their explanation that strength feeds off the hormone testosterone while warmth is mediated by oxytocin, and that these two hormone systems inhibit one another. So if you sometimes feel as if there's a physical conflict between displaying strength vs. warmth, it's because there is.

3) They've organized the book such that it's easy to follow and implement their tips. They start by explaining what they mean by strength and warmth, and how you're broadcasting them via your gender, age and appearance ("the hand you were dealt"). Then they teach you how to convey strength and warmth more effectively depending on the context and what you'd like to accomplish ("how to play your hand").

4) They illustrate their points with real-world stories - Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Hillary Clinton in the 2008 elections, US Presidents -- that bring the teachings to life, making for gripping reading and ease of implementation.

Some of my favorite bits from the book:
-- For a shot of strength before going into a big meeting, stand "big" for a couple of minutes, taking up a lot of space. This reduces cortisol and increases testosterone.
-- Gender matters. There is a subtle art to women projecting strength and men projecting warmth without alienating their audiences.
-- The five gestures that researchers have found to reduce warmth: leaning away; crossing arms; touching, rubbing or grasping hands together; and touching the face, stomach, or other parts of the body. Stop doing them!
-- The flinty-eyed smile (think Clint Eastwood), or "strong smile", is a great way to project both strength and warmth.
-- When giving a talk, replace fillers like "um" and "uh" with silence. So much more powerful.
-- First connect, THEN lead. Once you "step inside their circle", you have much more persuasive power.

In short, these are essential life skills that no one had bothered to teach us up to now. I hear the book is already mandatory reading at Harvard Business School; it *should* be required reading for all high schoolers. If you're a person at all interested in being more effective in your interactions with other humans in the realm of work, politics, romance, family life and more, then you should be reading this, too. "Compelling People" entertains and instructs in a way that can directly lead to your being a better version of yourself.

-- Ali Binazir, M.D., M.Phil., author of The Tao of Dating: The Smart Woman's Guide to Being Absolutely Irresistible, the highest-rated dating book on Amazon for 157 weeks
40 internautes sur 41 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 A must have for introverts. Or anyone! 24 août 2013
Par Jordannasavvy - Publié sur Amazon.com
Although I work in an artistic field, the relationship that I have with clients is everything. I have tried to read dozens of books on the topic and 99% of these nearly put me to sleep. If you're looking for a bright, informative, thoughtful book about how to tweak small (and large) aspects of your personal presence in order for the world to see you in the light in which you want to be seen then read this book. My colleagues and clients have seen a noticeable difference in my interactions since I came across Compelling People. And the nice part is that no one can exactly pin point what it is that I have changed. I've been asked if I had just been to a spa or if I am dating someone new, all people really know is that I give off a different vibe. A refreshed and inspired vibe. Even my friends seem to enjoy my company and conversation skills more. As a shy person since birth, employing these tips and tricks has helped me connect more effectively and carry myself with poise. And to the person who thought these glowing reviews were fake, this is no fake review. This is a real manual for real people who may be very bright but unfortunately do not come by people skills naturally. I believe even the 'people persons' can get a lot out of this one.
26 internautes sur 27 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 An engaging and informative business resource 15 août 2013
Par VTreviewer - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format:Relié|Achat vérifié
I began reading this book because of the title: as a supervisor of "creative types" who often feel uncomfortable presenting their ideas to others, I thought I might get some insight into how to help them learn to present themselves and their ideas more naturally and compellingly. Happily, the book provided exactly the information I was looking for in that regard: it offers a virtual template for improvement. What surprised me was how applicable I found the information to myself as well. I thought I already presented well in business situations--both formal and informal--but the book opened my eyes to nuances that have improved my performance and interactions. That knowledge has made me more confident, too; again, surprising, because I already was quite confident.

So that's a long way of saying I found the content valuable. The bonus was how well it's written: the authors manage to convey a lot of practical ideas in an engaging, inviting way. As a result, the book is an easy, enjoyable read while being quite informative--a nice plus for a business book.
20 internautes sur 21 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 How and why, only when we cultivate both strength and warmth in our lives are we "worthy of admiration" 16 août 2013
Par Robert Morris - Publié sur Amazon.com
John Neffinger and Matthew Kohut are convinced that certain people possess both strength and warmth and this combination helps to explain why they are so highly admired and why they have so much influence. Others are attracted to them because they have the ability and determination to get things done but also because they are loving, caring, and empathic. "For our purposes, warmth is what people feel when they recognize they share interests and concerns. It is a sense of being on the same team. If strength is about whether someone can carry out their intentions, warmth is about whether you will be happy with the result. When people project warmth, we like them." We care about them because they care about us.

Readers will appreciate Neffinger and Kohut's use of primary and secondary sources that broaden and deepen the context, the frame-of-reference, for they key ideas. For example, research by psychologists Martin Seligman and Christopher Peterson on how different cultural traditions around the world define character. They found that there are six moral virtues at the core of all of them, six forms of strength and the others of warmth: courage, temperance, wisdom, justice, humanity, and transcendence. (Page 23) Annotated "Notes" are provided on Pages 257-275. These are among the dozens of passages of special interest and value to me, also listed to indicate the scope of Neffinger and Kohut's coverage.

o Strength vs. Warmth (Pages 10-18)
o Strength + Warmth (18-23)
o Quick and Dirty Judgment (27-28)
o Ethnicity (43-52)
o Body Type, and, Sexual Orientation and Identity (66-70)
o Nonverbal Communication (76-111)
o Mirroring, and, Style (120-135)
o Strength + Warmth, Word by Word (160-168)
o Making It Happen (168-181)
o Into the Wild (183-184)
o Leadership (206-209)
o Online (226-230)
o Unspoken Signals (236-238)

As I worked m y way through the book, I began to formulate my own list of the attributes common among all the compelling people I have known. Not the most intelligent, nor the most physically attractive, charming, or generous. Rather, those who have a certain [begin italics] presence [end italics] that can sometimes be initially intimidating but soon becomes endearing. Presumably many of those who read this book will have their own list. That said, strength and warmth (not one but both) only have meaning if (HUGE "if") they are (a) authentic and (b) demonstrated by consistent behavior over time.

When concluding their book, Neffinger and Kohut observe, "The question of how to use strength and warmth in your own life begins with your intentions. Who do you want to be? What are you trying to achieve? Does the strength and warmth expressed through deeds align with what you project in your everyday social interactions? Do you use your strength in the service of others? Do you use your warmth to minimize painful conflicts when you can? Only you can answer for yourself, and there is nothing simple or straightforward about it. It takes courage (strength) to be rigorously honest about your intentions (warmth)."

I responded immediately to the first question, then hesitated and reflected on what I had learned throughout the narrative while correlating key points with my own circumstances. I re-read the five questions and began to jot down words and phrases in response to each. My conclusion is that there is compelling need for me to improve in all areas of my life. That is my goal and I am grateful to John Neffinger and Matthew Kohut for providing the information, insights, and counsel that I will need to achieve that objective.
7 internautes sur 7 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 Must Read, Must Own, Buy it NOW! 15 août 2013
Par appleyvines - Publié sur Amazon.com
I cannot say enough positive things about this book. With a background in social work and being someone who recently changed career paths to pursue my own business, I found this book to be particularly compelling and influential. I feel I was given a greater and more interesting perspective on the importance of human interaction in both my professional and personal relationships. I feel it helped me to improve myself in all aspects of my life and it helps that it is an easy and pleasant read! Being an entrepreneur, I have gained so much insight and feel I am better prepared to manage and handle issues in my business more effectively.

All of the information in this book will be valuable to anyone who reads it - be it a mother, a student, a curious mind or a professional. I highly recommend it!
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