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A Complaint Free World: How to Stop Complaining and Start Enjoying the Life You Always Wanted [Anglais] [Relié]

Will Bowen

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16 octobre 2007
A Complaint Free World is an engaging, enjoyable, easy-to-read reminder that the only permanent, constructive changes you can make in the world are the changes that you make in yourself.”
–Gary Zukav, author of The Seat of the Soul and Soul to Soul 


A SIMPLE PLAN... A LIFE-CHANGING RESULT...
A HAPPIER LIFE

·What exactly is a complaint? (Chapter 1)
·Why is complaining destructive? (Chapters 2-3)
·How can I get others around me to stop complaining? (Chapter 3)
·How can we affect social change if we don't complain? (Chapter 5)
·Why is it so hard to stop complaining? (Chapters 4-6)
·What happens once I no longer complain? (Chapter 8)

You may have pondered these questions yourself. Since the Complaint Free program began, Will Bowen has received hundreds of calls, letters and emails asking these and other important questions. In A Complaint Free World: How to Stop Complaining and Start Enjoying the Life You Always Wanted, he provides practical answers and includes inspiring and touching stories from people just like you who have transformed their lives by becoming Complaint Free.

 Over 6 million people in more than 80 countries have taken the Complaint Free challenge and their lives are a testament to the positive effects of this simple idea.   Find out how forming the simple habit of not complaining can transform your health, relationships, career and life.



In your hands, you hold the secret to transforming your life. Big words? Yes, but this is a plan that has already proven itself with millions of people around the world. Pastor Will Bowen developed the life-changing A Complaint Free World plan based on the simple idea that good things will happen for you in abundance if you can just leave your grumbling behind. In a Sunday-morning sermon, Will told his congregation he wanted to make the world a complaint-free zone and, to prove he was serious, he passed out purple bracelets to each church member and offered them a challenge. "If you catch yourself complaining, take the bracelet and move it to the other wrist."

Now, less than a year later, more than six million people have taken up the challenge, trying to go twenty-one consecutive days without complaining, criticizing, or gossiping, and in so doing, forming a new, positive habit. By changing your words, you can change your thoughts and then begin to create your life by design. People have shared stories with Will of chronic pain relieved, relationships healed, careers improved, and becoming an overall happier person. Less pain, improved health, satisfying relationships, a better job, being more serene and joyous—sound good? It’s not only possible, it’s probable. Consciously striving to reformat your mental hard drive is not easy, but you can start now by using the steps Bowen presents here.

In this book, you can learn what constitutes a complaint, why we complain, what benefits we think we receive from complaining, how complaining is destructive to our lives, and how we can get others around us to stop complaining. You will learn the steps to eradicating this poisonous form of expression from your life. If you stay with it, you will find that not only will you not complain, but others around you will cease to do so as well. In a short period of time, you can have the life you’ve always dreamed of having.

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Descriptions du produit

Extrait

Chapter 1
I Complain Therefore I Am

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. —Lily Tomlin

Complain: (verb) 1: to express grief, pain, or discontent <complaining about the weather> 2: to make a formal accusation or charge —The Merriam–Webster Dictionary


There are four stages to become competent at anything. In becoming a Complaint Free person, you will go through each of them and, sorry, you can’t skip steps. You can’t jump over them and effect lasting change. Some of the stages last longer than others. Everyone’s experience with them varies. You might soar through one stage and then become stuck in another for a long time, but if you stay with it you will master this skill.


VOICES
Like most of the other folks who took up the Complaint free challenge, I quickly discovered exactly how many of the words I spoke in daily interactions were complaints. For the first time, I really heard myself when I vented about work, whined about my aches and pains, bemoaned political and world issues, and complained about the weather. What a shock to realize how many of my words held negative energy–and I considered myself such a positive person! —Marty Pointer, Kansas City, MO


The four stages to competency are:
1. Unconscious Incompetence
2. Conscious Incompetence
3. Conscious Competence
4. Unconscious Competence

In “On a Distant Prospect of Eton College,” Thomas Gray gave us the saying “ignorance is bliss.” As you become a Complaint Free person, you begin in the bliss of ignorance, move through the turmoil of transformation, and arrive at true bliss. Right now, you are in the Unconscious Incompetence stage. You are unconscious about your being incompetent. You don’t realize (are unconscious) as to how much you complain (are incompetent).

Unconscious Incompetence is as much a state of being as a stage of competency. This is where we all begin. In Unconscious Incompetence you are pure potential, ready to create great things for yourself. There are exciting new vistas about to be explored. All you have to do is be willing to go through the remaining steps.

Many people are an “ouch!” looking for a hurt. If you cry “ouch,” the hurt will show up. If you complain, you’ll receive more to complain about. It’s the Law of Attraction in action. As you complete these stages, as you leave complaining behind, as you are no longer an “ouch” looking for a hurt, your life will unfold for you like a beautiful spring flower.

One of the questions I’m often asked is “Can I never complain…ever!?” To which I answer, “Of course you can complain.” I say this for two reasons:

1. I’m not out to tell you or anyone else what to do. If I were, I’d be trying to change you, and that means I’m focusing on something about you I don’t like. I’d be expressing discontent about you and, by inference, complaining. So you can do whatever you want. It’s your choice.

2. Sometimes it makes sense to complain.

Now, before you feel you’ve found your loophole in number 2 above, consider that word “sometimes” and remember that I and many, many people have gone three consecutive weeks–that’s 21 days, or 504 hours in a row–without complaining at all. No complaints, zero, I Complain Therefore I Am 25 zip! When it comes to complaining, “sometimes” means “not very often at all.” Complaining should happen infrequently; criticism and gossip, never. If we are honest with ourselves, life events that lead us to legitimately complain (express grief, pain, or discontent) are exceedingly rare. Most of the complaining we do is just a lot of “ear pollution” detrimental to our happiness and well-being.

Check yourself. When you complain (express grief, pain, or discontent), is the cause severe? Are you complaining frequently? Has it been a month or more since you complained? If you’re complaining more than once a month, you might just be giving in to habitual griping, which doesn’t serve you. You’re an “ouch” looking for a hurt.

To be a happy person who has mastered your thoughts and has begun creating your life by design, you need a very, very high threshold of what leads you to express grief, pain, and discontent. The next time you’re about to complain about something, ask yourself how the situation stacks up to something that happened to me a few years ago.

I was sitting in my office preparing a lesson. The home we lived in at the time was located at a sharp bend in the road. Drivers had to slow down to make the curve, and just 200 yards past our house the city road became a county highway and the speed limit changed from 25 mph to 55 mph. As a result, we lived on an acceleration/deceleration lane. If it weren’t for the curve in the road, our home would have been in a very dangerous place. It was a warm spring afternoon and the lace curtains flapped softly in the breeze from the open windows. Suddenly, I heard a strange sound. There was a loud thud, followed by a scream. It wasn’t the scream of a person, but rather that of an animal. Every animal, just like every person, has a unique voice, and I knew this voice well. It was our long-haired golden retriever, Ginger. Normally, we don’t think of dogs screaming. Barking, howling, whimpering—yes; but screaming is something we rarely hear. But that’s exactly what Ginger was doing. She had been hit, and she lay in the road shrieking with pain not twenty feet outside my window. I shouted and ran through the living room and out the front door, followed by my wife, Gail, and my daughter, Lia. Lia was six at the time.

As we approached Ginger, we could tell she was badly hurt. She was using her front legs to try to stand, but her hind legs did not seem to be helping. Again and again she yowled in pain. Neighbors poured from their homes to see what was causing the commotion. Lia just kept saying her name, “Ginger…Ginger…,” as the tears flowed down her cheeks and wet her shirt.

I looked around for the driver who had hit Ginger but saw no one. Then I looked up the hill that marked the line between city road and county road and saw a truck, towing a trailer, cresting the hill and accelerating past 55 mph. Even though our dog lay there in agony, my wife stood in shock, and my daughter cried piteously, I was consumed with confronting the person who had hit Ginger. “How could anyone do this and just drive off?!” I thought. “He was just coming around the curve…surely he saw her, surely he knew what happened!”

Abandoning my family in the midst of their pain and confusion, I jumped into my car and spun out of the driveway, leaving a plume of dust and gravel. Sixty, 75, 83 miles per hour along the gravel-and-dirt road in pursuit of the person who had hit Lia’s dog and left without so much as facing us. I was going so fast on the uncertain surface that my car began to feel as if it were floating tenuously above the ground. In that moment, I calmed myself enough to realize that if I were killed while driving, it would be even harder on Gail and Lia than Ginger’s having been hurt. I slowed down just enough to control my car as the distance between me and other driver closed.

Turning into his driveway and still not realizing I was after him, the man stepped from his truck in a torn shirt and oily jeans. I skidded in behind him and jumped from my car, screaming, “You hit my dog!!!” The man turned and looked at me as if I were speaking a foreign language. With blood raging in my ears, I wasn’t sure I heard him correctly when he said, “I know I hit your dog…What are you going to do about it?” After regaining my connection with reality, I shot back, “WHAT?!? What did you say?!” He smiled as if he were correcting an errant child and then said again, in slow, deliberate words, “I know I hit your dog…Exactly what are you going to do about it?”

I was blind with rage. In my mind I kept seeing Lia in my rearview mirror standing over Ginger and crying. “Put up your hands,” I yelled. “What?” he said. “Put up your hands,” I said again. “Defend yourself…I’m going to kill you!”

A few moments before, reason had kept me from killing myself while driving in a white–hot rage to find this guy. Now his dismissive and cavalier comment about having painfully wounded a pet I dearly loved had vanquished all reason. I had never been in a fight in my adult life. I didn’t believe in fighting. I wasn’t sure I knew how to fight. But I wanted to beat this man to death. In that moment, I didn’t care if I ended up in prison.

“I ain’t gonna fight you,” he said. “And if you hit me, it’s assault, mister.” My arms raised, my fists clinched tight as diamonds, I stood there dumbfounded. “Fight me!” I said. “No, sir,” he said, smiling through his remaining teeth, “I ain’t gonna do no such thing.” He turned his back and slowly walked away. I stood there shaking, anger poisoning my blood.

I don’t remember driving back to my family. I don’t remember lifting Ginger up and taking her to the vet. I do remember the way she smelled the last time I held her and the way she whimpered softly as the vet’s needle ended her suffering. “How could a person do such a thing?” I asked myself repeatedly.

Days later, the man’s jagged smile still haunted me as I tried to sleep. His “What are you going to do about it?” rang in my ears. I visualized exactly what I would have done to him had we fought. In my visions I was a superhero destroying ...

Revue de presse

A Complaint Free World is an engaging, enjoyable, easy-to-read reminder that the only permanent, constructive changes you can make in the world are the changes that you make in yourself.”
—Gary Zukav, author of The Seat of the Soul and Soul to Soul 

“It's rare to read a book that has the potential to change the world, but Will Bowen's masterpiece could do just that.  I highly recommend this book to you. It will change your life for the better as it has mine.”
Roger Dawson, author of Secrets of Power Negotiating
 
"This is the most inspiring book I've read all year. I love it!”
Dr. Joe Vitale, author of Zero Limits and star of The Secret

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Amazon.com: 4.4 étoiles sur 5  127 commentaires
46 internautes sur 49 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 Very few books are this Transformational 18 janvier 2008
Par Amazon Customer - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format:Relié
I just finished reading A Complaint Free World and I must say that I was floored with this guide on becoming a complaint free person. As a Christian I believed that i was a very positive person but after taking on this challenge I found out that contrary to what I believed, I complain quite often and i wonder if I will ever make it to 21 days, but I will continue to go forward and strive towards that goal.
This book is maybe one of the 5 best books I have ever read and I believe that this concept can change the world, because I believe that all of us are complainers and that complaining really doesn't do anyone any good.
As well as being a guide to a system that I believe could end complaining in our lives, this book also describes complaining, how it effects us and what it does to others.
This book is an absolute must to read and to practice, heres to a better world.
23 internautes sur 24 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 An irresistible meme 2 janvier 2008
Par Ellen Etc. - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format:Relié
This book provides a practical program for increasing happiness and satisfaction by becoming aware of one's unconscious complaints against life, then consciously giving up short-term griping and gloating in favor of long-term gratitude. It's a non-denominational approach that starts working when you merely hear about the idea!

If you think about complaining to others being like second-hand cigarette smoke, you can see how complaining poisons the common breathing space. The goal is to go 21 days without complaining, and when you catch yourself complaining, you switch an inexpensive plastic bracelet to the opposite wrist. When you don't have to switch the bracelet for 21 consecutive days, you've met the challenge.

The book is easy to read, encouraging, and addresses most of the objections our silly, fearful minds are so quick to raise. For me it is a support to the Buddhist value of "Right Speech." My husband and I have not yet received the purple reminder bracelets, but we joke about switching our imaginary bracelets to the other wrist whenever we catch ourselves complaining. It's a program worth trying.
26 internautes sur 28 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 Must have guide for joyous living 28 octobre 2007
Par Patrick Handley - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format:Relié
You're in for a wonderful read that bears a gift! Will Bowen uses his talent for heart-felt storytelling, laced with humor, to help you identify and eliminate complaining and negativity from your life. What a gift that is! And, that's just the start, he also guides you through an inspirational step-by-step process for living more joyfully and spiritually every day. You'll love this book immediately, treasure it forever, and want to get a copy for everyone you love.
56 internautes sur 66 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 Assigned Reading, Very Worthwhile 20 novembre 2007
Par Robert David STEELE Vivas - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format:Relié|Achat vérifié
Edit of 28 May 08 to correct typo pointed out by a reader, and to add links.

My wife asked me to buy this book after hearing about it. I did, it is a worthy useful book, and I will take its challenge.

The author does a tremendous job of gently pointing out all the things about complaining that are both negative and futile:

+ complaining is about what you cannot have or get--get over it
+ avoid chronic complainers, the disease spreads
+ Takes 4-8 months to move from unconsciously incompetent to unconsciously competent.
+ Complaining traps you in a constante state of "something is wrong."
+ Complaining is a form of manipulation
+ Instead of complaining seek alternative language or BE SILENT
+ Silence is mature self-possession
+ Commit to what you want and go after it--WITHOUT COMPLAINT when stymied

The book is quite effective at an underlying theme, God will provide. In acceptance lies happenstance, coincidence (or not), and harmony. The church that started this movement has given out 125,000 free purple bracelets, and issues Certificates of Happiness when anyone can attest to going 21 days without a complaint. They are starting up spin-off programs such as a Complaint-Free Relationship, School, or Workplace.

The author touches briefly on the strategic game of nations, pointing out that instead of negotiating the negative (like nuclear proliferation) why not spend more time sharing information and strategizing the positive, like the end of poverty and disease? Amen.

The book concludes with a raft of first person accounts, roughly one per page, and they are all serious and meaningful, not at all trite of hokey. This is a serious book for serious people.

Entirely and absolutely by coincidence (or not--I really am starting to come back to God "in community"), reading this book coincided with my reading of one squishy and one leadership book, and all three of them center on the same point: be open, be accepting, visualize the good.

I am so taken with this book that I am adding it to my CEO List (Collective and Commercial Intelligence). I find it hard to imagine a CEO of a Fortune 500 company that could get through a day without complaining, but boy, would I like to be around someone like that, who can drive a Fortune 500 company without ever complaining. Now *that* is leadership.

The other two books:
The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success: A Pocketbook Guide to Fulfilling Your Dreams (One Hour of Wisdom)
The Source of Leadership: Eight Drivers of the High-impact Leader

The more I think about, the more I am impressed by this book out of Kansas City, Missouri. This book is the essence of what is good and great about America as a frontier Nation, enduring challenges, never mind the occasional genocide, slave trade, and unprovoked war. The heart of this country is still good, even if the corrupt politicians have lost their soul. We can change all that in this next election, and I am going to stop complaining and start working to elect someone who represents the young, the good, and the future.

Bless all those who brought us this treasure, this gift of calm.

Other great books along these lines:
The Complete Conversations with God (Boxed Set)
The Tao of Democracy: Using Co-Intelligence to Create a World That Works for All
Left Hand of God, The: Healing America's Political and Spiritual Crisis
All Rise: Somebodies, Nobodies, and the Politics of Dignity (BK Currents)
The Faiths of the Founding Fathers
Society's Breakthrough!: Releasing Essential Wisdom and Virtue in All the People
The Wealth of Networks: How Social Production Transforms Markets and Freedom
Collective Intelligence: Creating a Prosperous World at Peace
13 internautes sur 13 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 Powerful book that will motivate you to stop complaining! 6 décembre 2007
Par Blaine Greenfield - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format:Relié
I must admit that, at times, I complain too much . . . so when I
saw Pastor Will Bowen interviewed on TV show, I was captivated by the
plan he has developed and written about in A COMPLAINT FREE WORLD.

He suggests that you wear a purple bracelet and "if you catch yourself
complaining, take the bracelet and move it to the other wrist" . . . if
you can go without complaining for 21 days--not an easy task, by
the way--then Bowen contends you will be well on your life to enjoying
the life you always wanted.

This short, yet very insightful book, has motivated me to at least
make an attempt to stop complaining . . . I'm also going to contact
the website that's mentioned to order my very own bracelet.

A COMPLAINT FREE WORLD had many ideas that I'm planning
to implement, but this one really struck me as being on target:

* The way out is to stop complaining and to express gratitude when
positive things happen. In every life, there are many, many things about
which to be grateful. To remind myself of this, as soon as I wake up each
day, I write down five things for which I am grateful. I have found that rather
than just think about what I'm appreciative of, if I write them down, it
sets a tone of gratitude for my entire day.

What a simple thing to do, yet potentially, I can see the benefits
starting just as soon as I begin doing so . . . in addition, I liked
this technique for making meal times more enjoyable:

* I realized that before we adopted a Complaint Free lifestyle, I was
teaching Lia that being at the family dinner table was a time to gripe
and gossip. I was modeling for her that this is how people act. I'm so
grateful now that our supper table is where we talk about blessings
and bright vistas. This is what I want to pass on to her so she'll model
this for her children and their children after them. Let family time be
joyous and happy, not a time to vent about how things didn't go your
way that day. I'm convinced that our lives are better because we're
not searching out (and thereby finding) negative things every day
to make sure we have dinner conversation that night.

And, lastly, there was this great concept that could be applied
in countless business situations:

* If we don't choose how we live our version of this one life with intention,
we will live it by default, following along after others. We often follow
along after others without even realizing we are doing so. When my father
was a young man, he managed a motel owned by my grandfather. The
motel was across the street from a used-car lot, and my dad worked out
an arrangement with the owner of the car dealership. On evenings when
the motel's business was slow, my father would go over and move a dozen
or so cars from the dealership into the motel parking lot. In a short time,
the motel would be full of paying customers. The people passing the motel
reasoned that if the lot was empty, the motel must not be very good.
However, if the motel's parking lot was full, the passersby figured it must
be a good play to stay. We follow others. And you have now become a
person who is leading the world toward peace, understanding, and
abundance for all.

If only I had more time to tell you more . . . oops, that sounds like a
complaint coming, so instead, I'll just tell you to rush out and get
your own copy of this book . . . I'm confident that you won't have
any complaints with my recommendation.
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