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The Complete Idiot's Guide to Coping With Difficult People [Format Kindle]

Arlene Uhl
1.0 étoiles sur 5  Voir tous les commentaires (1 commentaire client)

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Descriptions du produit


Kate Burns misses no meaning or nuance as she delivers a sensitive reading of this superb book on managing problem people. She's articulate, mature-sounding, and emotionally connected in all the right places. After the author, a New York psychotherapist and professor, unfolds an intelligent review of why relationships can be so frustrating at this point in history, she describes four categories of difficult people--the self-absorbed, the controlling, the obstructionist, and the toxic. She explains how to approach each type and how to manage the emotions they provoke in ourselves. Her thoughtful organization and "how-to" focus make this an invaluable guide. Best of all, the author makes her game plans sound inclusive and altruistic rather than merely self-protective. T.W. © AudioFile 2008, Portland, Maine-- Copyright © AudioFile, Portland, Maine

Présentation de l'éditeur

Easy ways of dealing with difficult people.

Psychotherapist Arlene Matthews Uhl offers the most effective strategies for dealing with difficult peopl, from strangers and co-workers to friends and family, by characterizing the four major types and revealing specific methods to cope with them in every aspect of life.

?Jargon-free, practical advice and strategies, for home and at work

?Unique approach based on behavioral patterns, not simply personality types

?Includes tactics on diffusing tense encounters in any situation

?Features tips for 'cutting the cord' when personal relationships become too difficult

Détails sur le produit

  • Format : Format Kindle
  • Taille du fichier : 2448 KB
  • Nombre de pages de l'édition imprimée : 334 pages
  • Pagination - ISBN de l'édition imprimée de référence : 1592575781
  • Editeur : Alpha (1 mai 2007)
  • Vendu par : Amazon Media EU S.à r.l.
  • Langue : Anglais
  • ASIN: B00AR17ZGE
  • Synthèse vocale : Activée
  • X-Ray :
  • Word Wise: Activé
  • Composition améliorée: Activé
  • Moyenne des commentaires client : 1.0 étoiles sur 5  Voir tous les commentaires (1 commentaire client)
  • Classement des meilleures ventes d'Amazon: n°625.114 dans la Boutique Kindle (Voir le Top 100 dans la Boutique Kindle)

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Commentaires client les plus utiles
1.0 étoiles sur 5 Not helpful 13 septembre 2014
Format:Format Kindle|Achat vérifié
This book doesn't give any solutions of how to handle such people. It rather describes the situation and give a very few basic stuff that one should do which is mostly tolerating such people and letting them do what they are doing.
It was a useless purchase for a considerable prize.
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Amazon.com: 4.7 étoiles sur 5  18 commentaires
30 internautes sur 30 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 Truly an emotional life saver! 28 mai 2009
Par Uber Duck - Publié sur Amazon.com
I found this book by chance at the local public library. It helped me to understand the personality I was dealing with in someone I had just met and who fit the almost recipe like profile of a "Narcissistic Personality Disorder".

I learned that I was not the exception but the rule. That I was not special in their life, just the next host object from which they could sustain their magical thinking and delusion of grandeur about themselves. One never has a relationship with a narcissist because they'll always come second and be completely disposable, and without remorse on the part of the narcissist who treats them so, to that person's first love; themselves.

I realized, through the guidelines and insights this book provides, that this person would pay attention to me for as long as it fed and satisfied their sense of self/ego. And that they can (and did) commit what the book calls a "Dishonorable Discharge" of me from their life when they found someone else that made them feel more fulfilled and whom is easier to milk for infatuation and the adoration they crave. That person wasn't special, they were just next.

Before, had I not been forewarned about this person's disorder as well and then found this book shortly thereafter, I would have fallen into the trap many of us do. I would have asked myself, as they disengaged from the intensity of our relationship unto complete absence, what did I do wrong!?

The answer of course is nothing! It wasn't me! It was them. It is simply what they are. No one on Earth will ever change a narcissist. Their ego will not permit them to face their own dysfunction or their own magical thinking and false sense of self, that they've carefully and often times unconsciously crafted for themselves all their life. I was simply not responsible for how they acted toward me. They were. What I was responsible for was to recognize they are/were mentally ill and to then decide I was worth more than contributing to further their dis-ease and sickness.

I left the friendship, which was never truly one in the first place on their part, and never looked back. It was the best decision I ever made because it is vital to take a self inventory when you are involved in a toxic relationship and then to realize if you can suffer, you can leave!

This book covers every other personality disorder as well. From Narcissist, to passive aggressive, to social and professional obstructionists and more. It even describes the multiple personality disorders. I.E. those who suffer many of the dysfunctional personality types described, in combination.
It's truly an emotional life saver and I can not recommend this book highly enough. 5 Stars without a doubt.
27 internautes sur 29 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 Excellent Book 21 avril 2009
Par Deanna - Publié sur Amazon.com
I've read a LOT of books because I like to expand my awareness. This is the best book I have ever read on the subject of coping with difficult people. For one, it is very easy to read. Secondly, it addresses everything from other people, driven by envy, how they hide it, taking a look at ourselves as well, how to cope, how to limit your time around these people. It allows you to be angry once your awareness is expanded to what you've dealt with without letting that anger get out of hand and without adding guilt to it as well. It describes narcisstic behavior as self-worship but from a place of insecurity so the self-worship is to try to feel that void. It also describes codependency as caretaking in excess. It explains the difference between healthy narcissism and an unhealthy narcisstic personality disorder. I had someone way back in high school who wrote me suicide notes saying she was so jealous of me she wanted to kill herself. I did everything I could to make her feel better about herself. She then starting telling me she wanted to destroy all my friendships, etc. because she couldn't handle her jealousy. I was hurt because I thought this was a friend and I expected my friend to be happy for me. I separted myself from her because she was so draining but not without a lot of hurt for the damage she caused. She made up lies to turn friends against me and I couldn't believe she could get people to believe these lies. This book explains manipulation driven by envy. Every time I tried to tell people about her jealousy, it was taken as I must really think I'm something. No, it felt more like stalking and I finally found a counselor who informed me that I'm a nurturer and I'm a target for narcissists. I didn't fully understand things at that time. I later married a man who had been released from the military for a personality order - you guessed it - narcisstic. However, he had a few traits of the other personality disorders as well - anti-social, etc. He was good-looking and charming but once past that not a lot to offer. This book pulls together all the pieces of information I've learned over the years and makes you look at yourself and others. The world doesn't revolve around anyone - but you have to take care of yourself and know the boundaries of taking care of others so that the interactions are healthy. Even if you're healthy and have not had destructive relationships, this book is still great. Buy it - you won't be sorry!!!
18 internautes sur 18 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 Not letting go of this book! 10 juin 2010
Par Sunshine State - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format:Broché|Achat vérifié
I love this book! It's a great reference book. Each chapter can be read on it's own. It covers just about every social situation(spouse, sibling, friend, boss, co-worker, employee) and how to deal with them with diplomacy. In the back, it lists web sites, books, organizations, etc. for further research. It's an easy to use book that is well organized and get's straight to the point(one of my personal fav.'s). On a personal level, it took a load off my shoulders. I stopped questioning myself and that I'm not to blame. Best of all, it gave me solutions and how to handle just about any situation;dissipating my stress level dramatically. It works for me and I sincerely hope it works for you too.
12 internautes sur 12 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 It's Not Me, It's You! 25 mars 2012
Par Geneva Lewis - Publié sur Amazon.com
This is hands-down the most accessible and practical book for "dealing with difficult people." The author's tone is sensible, smart, and down-to-earth. Instead of being touchy-feely or focusing on esoteric principles or categorizations, the has a logical organizational structure focusing on four types of difficult people: the self-absorbed, the controllers, the obstructionists, and the truly toxic. The book has subsets of these types in workplace and personal relationships. The introduction focuses on the issue of difficult people not on the basis of changing them, but our reactions and responses to them, while acknowledging that we, the reader, need to be realistic about our own difficult personality issues. The advice of how to spot a difficult person in your life not by what they do, but how they make you feel, is critical. A great go-to resource for those challenging situations that inevitably come up loaded with practical insight and tools.
8 internautes sur 8 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 It is now my basic reference guide for dealing with problem people 25 juillet 2012
Par Amazon Customer - Publié sur Amazon.com
Very easy to read, so I spent two hours in B&N reading the few chapters that looked the most appropriate for my most recent encounters at the office with difficult people. My earlier purchase of another idiots guide to office conflict is now replaced with this book on my favorites book shelf. It provides enough details of the four types of people that you can categorize a problem situation and extract reasonable non-combative courses of action to at least protect yourself and possibly turn a problem relationship around into a beneficial one. The author acknowledges briefly that some people aren't possible to deal with and your only course of action is self protection; possibly some expansion of the text for those situations would be nice to have in the next edition. I'm 60 this year, and I can only think of a few problem people I've encountered that don't fall readily into the categories, and those few exceptions were either violent and/or litigants.
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