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- Publié sur Amazon.com
I carefully read all the reviews on all the 'Sex-Ed' books on Amazon in order to find the best one for my 12 year old daughter (to be used later for my 9 year old son and 8 year old daughter.) We are second-generation homeschoolers and attend a Christian church. I wanted something Bible-based that would reflect our moral views. This book seemed to be the best fit. IT WASN'T.
This book is written by a married couple who were virgins on their wedding night. I was a virgin at 22 when I married my husband. He wasn't. I am the daughter of a teenage mom. I attended college early and work as a Paramedic. I have never been in trouble with the police, although I am married to a police officer. I felt comfortable talking about life issues with my step-father. My mother was 15 when she married my 17 year old father after discovering she was pregnant. My father died when I was 5 and my sister was 2; my mother married my dad a year later.
But according to the book, I should never have been born.
Chapters 1 & 2 were ok. Anatomically correct drawings of male and female organs. Lots of opinion, no footnotes or references. But it is easy to read and uses correct terminology. (Although it does tell readers that the "uterus...delivers the life-giving air, food, and water the baby needs." How about waiting for the placenta chapter and then describing it as oxygen and nutrition?) Chapters 3 & 4 continue the information with details about body changes for boys and girls. Again, lots of opinion, and non-referenced facts.
Chapter five begins the downward spiral. The second paragraph states that "pregnancy and childbirth are not always such wonderful events. When a teenage girl gets pregnant outside of marriage, it changes the course of her whole life." It states that men are quick to say "I love you" and then blatantly disrespects men and assumes that he "suddenly drops her when he finds out she is pregnant." And then he will "refuse to contribute any money or effort to care for the child,". Wow. This only happens to teenagers? The chapter then progresses further and begins to explain "How does someone become pregnant?" Outside of marriage is the "wrong way" while in the context of marriage is the "right way". A valid Christian point of view. But a hurtful way to say it.
More opinions with lots of assumptions thrown in. The book is written for kids, but as a parent, I would appreciate some footnotes and proof of the statistics they have included. Such as "Just under one million teenage women get pregnant every year, and most of them did not mean to."
The process of conception and implantation is described. But then there is a VERY DISTURBING description of a fertilized egg that does not implant on the uterus. As it passes "it will die from lack of nutrition and simply be passed out of the body." It continues to say that the woman usually never knows that "a new life was conceived." I do believe in life at conception, but I don't think I want my daughter (or myself) to dwell on the possibility of multiple miscarried/fertilized eggs/babies waiting for me in Heaven. Especially when the next paragraph describes miscarriage and the 'fact' that most babies "have something seriously wrong with their bodies". Again, footnotes or science would be helpful to the parent/educator. (And the addition of the fact that sometimes it's the mother's body that has issues.)
It is also assumed that all babies are delivered by doctors. And that all deliveries go as planned. Again, written for kids. As home-birth parents, we appreciate the facts, not the opinions of these authors.
Chapter 6 just continues the horror of opinions passed off as fact. Descriptions of STD's are given without regard to statistics or notes for further information.
And then the best part!! There are only 3 options for a pregnant young woman: Abortion, Adoption, Keeping the Baby. Of course all of these are life-changing. But according to the authors, they are all BAD.
Abortion kills the baby, adoption is a "hard experience" and if you choose to keep the baby, you will lose all your friends!! The chapter states "There is lots of research that shows that children who grow up with only one parent are not as happy as children who grow up in families with two parents." What research?
Single teenage moms are described as "more likely to drop out of school and to live in poverty". Are they trying to scare the girls? Don't have teenage sex because you'll be poor and "Teenage fathers are less likely to help with the baby...than are married, mature fathers." Please include statistics!! I want facts, not scary statements.
Not all married men make mature fathers. And not all teenage parents are poor, un-educated and immature. Some get married at 18 & 16 and stay married for 60 years (Congrats to my grandparents! 60 years in 2012!)
Chapter 7 deals with dating in extremely generic terms. Although it does describe oral sex and adds more opinion.
Chapter 8: Stay away from your Christian friends if they have sex; but pray for them; don't be tempted. Pornography and cybersex are wrong (I agree there.) Cohabitation is wrong; their opinion, no facts or numbers, but if you live together, you will not be happy, according to unknown scientists.
Public school sex-ed classes are "discouraging to Christian teenagers". Probably, but again, all opinion. Masturbation is handled ambiguously. Don't lust after other people, but touching yourself might be ok.
And then there is the Sexual Abuse section. "The most common form of sexual abuse within a family is when an older brother forces a younger sister to do things for his sexual pleasure." What!? Where are the facts? Other family members are mentioned, but only older brothers are used in the 'scenarios'. And if you are molested, protect yourself. "First, talk to your parents, particularly your mother. Mothers often have a hard time believing...so you need to be prepared to calmly described what happened..." What?! A child should calmly prepare to tell his/her mother and expect to be disbelieved? "After the abuse has stopped, it is important to get help for emotional healing." It does continue on to say that it is not your fault and to pray to God.
Broken families are the next section. As the daughter of a step-dad, I took serious offense to the sentence that states "But if these parents aren't available, you can ask the parent you live with who would be a good person for you to talk to." It assumes that kids in blended families cannot discuss sex with their step-parents.
And at last we get the footnotes. Apparently, "Stan Jones has written extensively about the moral problem of homosexuality." Only this section has any outside references, and they have nothing to do with the book.
I leave you with this request: Carefully consider what you want your child to know about sex. And then buy the most appropriate book. One of the final remarks of the book: "Sexuality is a wonderful part of God's design for your life, but it is up to you whether this gift will wind up as a blessing or a curse."
To me and my family, this book was a curse. The only blessing is that Amazon will allow its return. My teen mom did not abort me, I graduated college, and now have 3 kids and a wonderful husband. Sex should be taught objectively and within your beliefs. My kids will learn the truth, not the opinions of 2 people who have written a book mis-labeled as "Facing the Facts" without any actual, referenced facts.