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Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway [Version coupée, Livre audio, CD] [Anglais] [CD]

Susan Jeffers
4.8 étoiles sur 5  Voir tous les commentaires (5 commentaires client)
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Description de l'ouvrage

1 décembre 2001
Success can be yours with Susan Jeffers's
Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway

The world's foremost producer of personal development and motivational audio programs gives you the tools to face the fears that hold you back.
We're all afraid of something : beginnings, endings, changing, getting stuck. But fear doesn't have to hold you back from happiness or success. You can change your relationship with fear -- and in this dynamic, inspirational program, Susan Jeffers, Ph.D., teaches compassionate concepts and highly effective exercises that help you unravel the complexities and reverse the effects of fear.
You'll learn:
  • The five truths about fears
  • How to weed negatives out of your words and thoughts
  • How to develop goals that help extend your self-imposed limitations

Don't be prisoner of you own insecurities. Career growth, personal harmony and financial rewards can by yours -- when you learn to Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway.

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Descriptions du produit

Extrait

1

WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF . . . AND WHY?

I am about to teach another fear class. The classroom is empty. I am waiting for my new group of students to appear. My nervousness about teaching these classes disappeared a long time ago. Not only have I taught it many times, but I also know my students before I meet them. They are like the rest of us: all trying to do the best they can and all uncertain about whether they’re good enough. It never varies.

As the students enter the room, I can feel the tension. They sit as far apart from one another as possible, until the seats between must be filled because of lack of space. They don’t talk to one another, but sit nervously, expectantly. I love them for their courage to admit that their lives are not working the way they want them to work. And their presence in the class signifies that they are ready to do something about it.

I begin by going around the room asking each student to tell the rest of us what he or she is having difficulty confronting in life. Their stories unfold:

Don wants to change his career of fourteen years and follow his dreams of becoming an artist.

Mary Alice is an actress who wants to discover why she finds all kinds of excuses for not attending auditions.

Sarah wants to leave a marriage of fifteen years.

Teddy wants to get over his fear of aging. He is all of thirty-two.

Jean is a senior citizen who wants to confront her doctor; he treats her like a child and never gives her any straight answers.

Patti wants to expand her business, but can’t make the required leap to the next step.

Rebecca wants to confront her husband with things that have been bothering her.

Kevin wants to get over a fear of rejection that makes it very difficult to ask a woman for a date.

Laurie wants to know why she is unhappy when she has everything one could possibly want in life.

Richard is retired and feels useless. He fears his life is over.

And so it goes until everyone’s story is heard.

I’m fascinated with what happens during the go-around. As each person shares from the heart, the entire atmosphere begins to change. The tension quickly fades and relief is expressed on everyone’s face.

First, my students begin to realize that they are not the only ones in the world feeling afraid. Second, they begin to see how attractive people become as they open up and share their feelings. Long before the last person has spoken, a feeling of warmth and camaraderie pervades the room. They are strangers no more.

Although the backgrounds and situations of the class members vary greatly, it does not take long for the surface layers of their particular stories to disappear, opening the way for everyone to touch on a very human level. The common denominator is the fact that fear is keeping all of them from experiencing life the way they want to experience it.

The scenario above repeats itself in each fear class I teach. At this point you might be wondering how one course can accommodate all the diverse fears reported by the class members—their needs seem to be so varied. It’s true. They do seem varied until we dig a little deeper and look at the underlying cause of all their fears—and everyone else’s.

Fear can be broken down into three levels. The first level is the surface story, such as the ones described above. This level of fear can be divided into two types: those that “happen” and those that require action. Here is a partial list of Level 1 fears divided into these types:

Level 1 Fears

Those that “Happen”Those Requiring Action

AgingGoing back to school

Becoming disabledMaking decisions

RetirementChanging a career

Being aloneMaking friends

Children leaving homeEnding or beginning a

Natural disasters relationship

Loss of financial securityGoing to the doctor

ChangeAsserting oneself

DyingLosing weight

WarBeing interviewed

IllnessDriving

Level 1 Fears (continued)

Those that “Happen”Those Requiring Action

Losing a loved onePublic speaking

AccidentsMaking a mistake

RapeIntimacy

You might have a few you can add to the list. As I hinted earlier, you wouldn’t be alone if you said to yourself, “Some of the above” or even “All of the above.” There is a reason for this. One of the insidious qualities of fear is that it tends to permeate many areas of our lives. For example, if you fear making new friends, it then stands to reason that you also may fear going to parties, having intimate relationships, applying for jobs, and so on.

This is made clearer by a look at the second layer of fear, which has a very different feel from that of Level 1. Level 2 fears are not situation-oriented; they involve the ego.

Level 2 Fears

RejectionBeing conned

SuccessHelplessness

FailureDisapproval

Being vulnerableLoss of image

Level 2 fears have to do with inner states of mind rather than exterior situations. They reflect your sense of self and your ability to handle this world. This explains why generalized fear takes place. If you are afraid of being rejected, this fear will affect almost every area of your life—friends, intimate relationships, job interviews, and so on. Rejection is rejection—wherever it is found. So you begin to protect yourself, and, as a result, greatly limit yourself. You begin to shut down and close out the world around you. Look over the Level 2 list once again, and you will see how any one of these fears can greatly impact many areas of your life.

Level 3 gets down to the nitty-gritty of the issue: the biggest fear of all—the one that really keeps you stuck. Are you ready?

Level 3 Fear

I CAN’T HANDLE IT!

“That’s it? That’s the big deal?” you may ask. I know you’re disappointed and wanted something much more dramatic than that. But the truth is this:

AT THE BOTTOM OF EVERY ONE OF YOUR FEARS

IS SIMPLY THE FEAR THAT YOU CAN’T HANDLE

WHATEVER LIFE MAY BRING YOU.

Let’s test this. The Level 1 fears translate to:

I can’t handle illness.

I can’t handle making a mistake.

I can’t handle losing my job.

I can’t handle getting old.

I can’t handle being alone.

I can’t handle making a fool out of myself.

I can’t handle not getting the job.

I can’t handle losing him/her.

I can’t handle losing my money . . . etc.

The Level 2 fears translate to:

I can’t handle the responsibilities of success.

I can’t handle failure.

I can’t handle being rejected . . . etc.

Thus Level 3—simply, “I can’t handle it!”

The truth is:

IF YOU KNEW YOU COULD HANDLE ANYTHING

THAT CAME YOUR WAY,

WHAT WOULD YOU POSSIBLY HAVE TO FEAR?

The answer is: nothing!

I know you are probably not jumping up and down for joy just yet, but believe me when I tell you that I have just given you a great piece of news. What I have just told you means you can handle all your fears without having to control anything in the outside world. This should be a tremendous relief. You no longer have to control what your mate does, what your friends do, what your children do, or what your boss does. You don’t have to control what happens at an interview, what happens at your job, what happens in your new career, what happens to your money, or what happens in the stock market.

ALL YOU HAVE TO DO TO DIMINISH YOUR FEAR IS

TO DEVELOP MORE TRUST IN YOUR ABILITY

TO HANDLE WHATEVER COMES YOUR WAY!

I am belaboring the point because it is so critical. From this moment on, every time you feel afraid, remind yourself that it is simply because you are not feeling good enough about yourself. Then proceed to use one or more of the tools in this book to help build yourself up. You have your task clearly mapped out for you. There is no reason for confusion.

I’ve often been asked to explain why we have so little trust in ourselves. I don’t really know the answer to that. I know that some fear is instinctual and healthy, and keeps us alert to trouble. The rest—the part that holds us back from personal growth—is inappropriate and destructive, and perhaps can be blamed on our conditioning.

In all my life I have never heard a mother call out to her child as he or she goes off to school, “Take a lot of risks today, darling.” She is more likely to convey to her child, “Be careful, darling.” This “Be careful” carries with it a double message: “The world is really dangerous out there” . . . and . . . “you won’t be able to handle it.” What Mom is really saying, of course, is, “If something happens to you, I won’t be able to handle it.” You see, she is only passing on her lack of trust in her ability to handle what comes her way.

I can remember wanting desperately to have a two-wheel bicycle and my mother’s refusal to buy me one. Her answer to my pleas was always the same: “I love you too much. I don’t want anything to happen to you.” I translated this to mean: “You are not competent enough to handle a two-wheel bike.” Having become older and wiser, I realize now that she was really saying: “If anything happens to you, I will fall apart.”

This overprotective mother of mine was once in intensive care after serious surgery, with tubes down her nose and her throat. When I was told it was time for me to leave, I whispered in her ear—not knowing if she could hear me—that I loved her and would be back later. As I was walking toward the door, I heard a small, weak voice behind me saying—you guessed it—... --Ce texte fait référence à l'édition Broché .

Revue de presse

"Accessible, with lots of exercises and information to dip into and apply to real situations. Life-changing stuff." (Spirit and Destiny)

"Reading this book was a revelation. It's a wonderful book for life" (Julie Walters, actress)

"Susan Jeffers' classic and actually very level-headed mega-bestseller" (Guardian)

"Packed with insights as to why we feel the way we do and tools to improve your coping mechanisms" (Sun)

"The queen of self-help" (Express) --Ce texte fait référence à une édition épuisée ou non disponible de ce titre.

Détails sur le produit

  • CD
  • Editeur : Simon & Schuster Audio/Nightingale-Conant; Édition : Abridged (1 décembre 2001)
  • Langue : Anglais
  • ISBN-10: 0743509188
  • ISBN-13: 978-0743509183
  • Dimensions du produit: 14,6 x 12,8 x 1,2 cm
  • Moyenne des commentaires client : 4.8 étoiles sur 5  Voir tous les commentaires (5 commentaires client)
  • Classement des meilleures ventes d'Amazon: 196.411 en Livres anglais et étrangers (Voir les 100 premiers en Livres anglais et étrangers)
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3 internautes sur 3 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 Ce livre changera votre vie 12 septembre 2007
Format:Broché
Cela fait des annees que je lis les ouvrages de Susan Jeffers en anglais. Ils sont magnifiques et ont completement change ma vie. Chaque fois que j'en ai l'occasion, je vante ces livres et en achete pour mes amis, car j'espere qu'ils leur feront autant de bien qu'ils m'en ont fait.
Susan Jeffers ne preche pas l'optimisme beat ou autre betises du meme genre, mais elle vous montre comment affronter vos peurs.
Il faut d'abord en prendre conscience, et c'est seulement a partir de cette prise de conscience que l'on peut faire quelque chose. Elle vous aide a ne jamais perdre l'espoir, et, si besoin est, a ne pas accepter ce qui est insupportable. C'est une vraie lecon de vie.
Merci madame Jeffers
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1 internautes sur 1 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
4.0 étoiles sur 5 for a deep understanding of fear and human nature 22 décembre 2009
Par claudia
Format:Broché
I found particularly inspiring Susan Jeffers' idea to connect with our Higher Self in order to develop and balance all other aspects of our life: relationships, work, leisure etc. and the fact that she insists on the importance of joining Groups for personal growth, so confrontation is between people and not between patient and therapist, who sometimes can be more controlling and judgemental than really humanly helpful. She also stresses the importance of compassion, empathy, prayer and meditation. Very useful in that it really takes in consideration each human being as a whole person, a unity of body-mind-spirit.
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5.0 étoiles sur 5 One of my favorite CDs 19 juillet 2011
Par Eva
Format:CD|Achat vérifié
This is one of the best listening materials I have and love listening to it again and again when I'm going through a difficult time in my life. It addresses fears and doubts in a very uplifting and logical way.
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5.0 étoiles sur 5 A lire absolument 3 mai 2011
Par claudine
Format:Broché|Achat vérifié
Pour tous ceux qui veulent reprendre du pouvoir sur leur vie et se libérer de la peur doivent lire "Feel the fear and do it anyway"
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3 internautes sur 4 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 SE DECOUVRIR 16 décembre 2000
Par Un client
Format:Broché
EN ESPERANT QUE LA VERSION FRANCAISE EST AUSSI BONNE QUE LA VERSION ORIGINALE (US). ENORMEMENT D'IDEES, DE CONSEILS ET D'INSPIRATIONS POUR REDEVENIR LE SOI-MEME QUE L'ON A PERDU AVEUGLEMENT AU FIL DES ANNEES......
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