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GETTING TO COMMITMENT: Overcoming the 8 Greatest Obstacles to Lasting Connection (And Finding the Courage to Love) (English Edition)
 
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GETTING TO COMMITMENT: Overcoming the 8 Greatest Obstacles to Lasting Connection (And Finding the Courage to Love) (English Edition) [Format Kindle]

Steven Carter , Julia Sokol
4.0 étoiles sur 5  Voir tous les commentaires (1 commentaire client)

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Descriptions du produit

Amazon.com

Do your relationships always crash? Do your married friends wonder what's wrong? "They write sitcoms about people like us," says "commitmentphobia" expert Steven Carter, "but it looks a lot more fun on the small screen than it feels in real life." The problem may be your fear of the risks of intimacy and commitment. Carter himself was a closet "commitmentphobic" when he wrote Men Who Can't Love. Now, in Getting to Commitment, he explains how to break those patterns and forge intimate connections--as he has done in his own life.

Carter sees eight hurdles between you and the relationship you deserve. He deftly analyzes each problem, points out self-destructive nonsolutions, and explains the steps necessary to break the barrier. For example, one hurdle is blaming your partners' shortcomings for the failure of previous relationships. Breaking the pattern involves seeing how you choose particular partners and self-destruct in relationships--going from blame to responsibility. Other hurdles include relationship-history ghosts, living in fantasy, and ineffective behavior patterns. "If we are to experience intimacy, our hearts have to be brave as well as loving," says Carter. Getting to Commitment will help you find that courage. Highly recommended. --Joan Price

From Publishers Weekly

Author (with Sokol) of the bestselling Men Who Can't Love, Carter, again writing with Sokol, offers advice here for both men and women with "commitmentphobia." While recognizing the "hard work" of long-term relationships, he focuses almost exclusively on "old choices, old habits, old fantasies, old programs, old language, old doubts, and old fears" that sabotage relationships in their very early stages. Carter claims that by examining and clearing out these impediments, "[t]he possibility for real love and commitment slowly blossoms in front of you like a beautiful flower." He thoroughly explores the need to stop blaming, and to understand and release old relationship "ghosts"; to develop and maintain a healthy sense of self and "self-protection"; distinguish fantasy from reality; reveal your true self; accept differences and imperfections; change old patterns; and work through anxieties. Commitment to a relationship, according to Carter, requires time, desire, energy, risk, help (from friends, family, support groups and professional therapists), mutual effort and faith. Most of all, he warns, it takes "courage." Readers will find understanding and wise counsel here for difficult feelings and self-defeating behaviors that may be hard to face, from a man who shares his own commitment fears and how he overcame them. 50,000 first printing; author tour.
Copyright 1998 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Détails sur le produit

  • Format : Format Kindle
  • Taille du fichier : 383 KB
  • Nombre de pages de l'édition imprimée : 268 pages
  • Pagination - ISBN de l'édition imprimée de référence : 0871319055
  • Editeur : Carter/Sokol (24 avril 2012)
  • Vendu par : Amazon Media EU S.à r.l.
  • Langue : Anglais
  • ASIN: B007XKFGS6
  • Synthèse vocale : Activée
  • X-Ray :
  • Moyenne des commentaires client : 4.0 étoiles sur 5  Voir tous les commentaires (1 commentaire client)
  • Classement des meilleures ventes d'Amazon: n°97.387 dans la Boutique Kindle (Voir le Top 100 dans la Boutique Kindle)
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Commentaires client les plus utiles
4.0 étoiles sur 5 Interesting 10 avril 2013
Format:Format Kindle|Achat vérifié
Through his examples the author shows his point on how the lack of commitment may prevent a relationship from growing and thriving.
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Amazon.com: 4.6 étoiles sur 5  38 commentaires
30 internautes sur 31 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 It began to make sense 4 juin 2002
Par "akirzy" - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format:Relié
I've been in and out of what seemed to be great relationships. I've had 5 men ask me to marry them (I did marry one of them, then divorced him). But, I never could understand why when things were getting good why I always thought that they were so bad. I had been running the whole time and didn't even know it until I read this book. I can't say enough about the insight this provides to a person. If you think that it is because of the other person in you life that you can't settle down or if you know that it may be you. Please read this book. It will begin to make sense.
26 internautes sur 27 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 Illuminates the barriers to committed relationships 6 novembre 1998
Par Un client - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format:Relié
"Getting to commitment" moves beyond Carter's previous book ("Men Who Can't Love") in two significant ways. First, he recognizes that commitment issues are not just a "guy" problem. Both sexes have them, frequently for the same reasons that are often deeply rooted in our childhood or adolescence.To Carter, these negative experiences hinder development of a mature, whole "Self", and are the basis for insecurities that become barriers to commitment. Second, Carter moves beyond simply identifying symptoms -- the warning signs for potential partners -- and meaningfully addresses proactive steps those with commitment problems can take to overcome the barriers to a fulfilling relationship. Significantly, Carter has traveled this road himself, which lends credibility to his prescriptions. The basis for his solutions is that those with commitment problems must take responsibility to be totally content with themselves and their own lives before they seek a relationship with someone else. A must read for anyone afflicted with commitment issues or involved with someone who is.
21 internautes sur 22 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 This book fundamentally changed my relationship 4 mai 2006
Par J. Benitez - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format:Broché
My boyfriend was (is?) a text-book commitment-phobe. Another of the authors' books, "He's scared, she's scared," helped us both recognize the symptoms for what they were, but that book didn't offer any solutions. Finally, with this book, my boyfriend learned how to work with his fears and happily stay in our relationship. Between the two books he learned his triggers, his reactions, and how to remain calm in the face of them. We have now been together >3 years and are having a fantastic relationship! I strongly recommend this book to anyone who is a commitment-phobe but who recognizes they are, yet truly wants a committed relationship.
25 internautes sur 27 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 Insight at Last ! 23 juin 2000
Par Un client - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format:Relié
I am a female in and out of a relationship with a man that has severe anxiety and has bailed out on me several times. This book has given me insight on why he is doing this and what part I may be playing into this scenario. I have identified what I need to work on in myself and can see what he needs to do to face his fears. I believe that counseling is a must but the book can serve a purpose in that it brings to light obstacles that are put in the way of actully connecting in a real way to another person. I found this book enlightening especially since it was written by a man that had the same issues and has overcome them and now is happily married.
29 internautes sur 32 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 A MUST READ for any woman who's getting to know someone 1 mars 2000
Par Un client - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format:Relié
5 stars doesn't begin to desribe how accurate and useful this book was. As I read it I got clammy and weak kneed becasue it PERFECTLY described someone I'd been with and it answered about a million questions I had about his bizzare change of behavior. It was eerily frigthening how accurate this book was in describing my ex. One day I was the air that the breathed and the next day he wasn't sure how he felt about me, literally. What I learned is to trust my gut feeling no matter what. HIGHLY recommnded for any woman who's getting to know a man who seems too good to be true or one who has something she can't quite put her finger on. Commitment phobia is probably that "thing"
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