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GETTING TO COMMITMENT: Overcoming the 8 Greatest Obstacles to Lasting Connection (And Finding the Courage to Love) (English Edition)
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GETTING TO COMMITMENT: Overcoming the 8 Greatest Obstacles to Lasting Connection (And Finding the Courage to Love) (English Edition) [Format Kindle]

Steven Carter , Julia Sokol
4.0 étoiles sur 5  Voir tous les commentaires (1 commentaire client)

Prix éditeur - format imprimé : EUR 12,42
Prix Kindle : EUR 7,78 TTC & envoi gratuit via réseau sans fil par Amazon Whispernet
Économisez : EUR 4,64 (37%)

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Descriptions du produit


Do your relationships always crash? Do your married friends wonder what's wrong? "They write sitcoms about people like us," says "commitmentphobia" expert Steven Carter, "but it looks a lot more fun on the small screen than it feels in real life." The problem may be your fear of the risks of intimacy and commitment. Carter himself was a closet "commitmentphobic" when he wrote Men Who Can't Love. Now, in Getting to Commitment, he explains how to break those patterns and forge intimate connections--as he has done in his own life.

Carter sees eight hurdles between you and the relationship you deserve. He deftly analyzes each problem, points out self-destructive nonsolutions, and explains the steps necessary to break the barrier. For example, one hurdle is blaming your partners' shortcomings for the failure of previous relationships. Breaking the pattern involves seeing how you choose particular partners and self-destruct in relationships--going from blame to responsibility. Other hurdles include relationship-history ghosts, living in fantasy, and ineffective behavior patterns. "If we are to experience intimacy, our hearts have to be brave as well as loving," says Carter. Getting to Commitment will help you find that courage. Highly recommended. --Joan Price

From Publishers Weekly

Author (with Sokol) of the bestselling Men Who Can't Love, Carter, again writing with Sokol, offers advice here for both men and women with "commitmentphobia." While recognizing the "hard work" of long-term relationships, he focuses almost exclusively on "old choices, old habits, old fantasies, old programs, old language, old doubts, and old fears" that sabotage relationships in their very early stages. Carter claims that by examining and clearing out these impediments, "[t]he possibility for real love and commitment slowly blossoms in front of you like a beautiful flower." He thoroughly explores the need to stop blaming, and to understand and release old relationship "ghosts"; to develop and maintain a healthy sense of self and "self-protection"; distinguish fantasy from reality; reveal your true self; accept differences and imperfections; change old patterns; and work through anxieties. Commitment to a relationship, according to Carter, requires time, desire, energy, risk, help (from friends, family, support groups and professional therapists), mutual effort and faith. Most of all, he warns, it takes "courage." Readers will find understanding and wise counsel here for difficult feelings and self-defeating behaviors that may be hard to face, from a man who shares his own commitment fears and how he overcame them. 50,000 first printing; author tour.
Copyright 1998 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Présentation de l'éditeur

To commit ourselves to the act of loving means that we are committing ourselves to a potentially risky situation in which our tender hearts might be hurt. And, of course, to commit to another person also brings with it another kind of risk: getting stuck in a relationship that we might later regret.
Getting to Commitment offers understanding, inspiration, and a concrete plan of action for any woman, man, or couple who is ready to tackle the eight most destructive demons that make people choose the wrong partners or run from loving relationships.

“There are questions, and then, there are real questions. Getting to Commitment asks real questions, about a very real issue most of us have faced or are facing—commitment or the lack thereof. Steven Carter and Julia Sokol have touched a nerve that is sure to leave a lasting impression on us all.”
-- Iyanla Vanzant, author of In the Meantime and One Day My Soul Just Opened Up

“Compassionate, and filled with common sense…Getting to Commitment offers real solutions. It is a valuable book which deserves to reach a broad audience.”
-- Susan Forward, Ph.D., author of Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them

“For many of us, the effects of reading Steven Carter’s Men who Can’t Love was Einsteinian. By naming the previously unnamed phenomenon Commitmentphobia, he and Julia Sokol redefined the equation of male/female relationships so that it finally made sense. Getting to Commitment shows us how to balance that equation and finally solve it.
-- Laura Zigman, author of Animal Husbandry

Book Description

Getting to Commitment offers understanding inspiration and a concrete plan of action for any woman, man, or couple who is ready to tackle the eight most destructive demons that make people run from loving relationships.


Falling in love and staying in love requires its own kind of heroism, because it takes real courage to love and make a commitment. This book is about finding that courage. From the bestselling authors of "Men Who Can't Love" readers will learn how to overcome eight obstacles to lasting connection.
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