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Grace and Grit: Spirituality and Healing in the Life and Death of Treya Killam Wilber [Format Kindle]

Ken Wilber

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Descriptions du produit

Revue de presse

"A tremendously moving love story. Wilber presents cancer as a healing crisis, an occasion for self-confrontation and growth."—Publishers Weekly

"A singular achievement. It succeeds as a story of one cancer patient's experience, as a guidebook for patients and their caretakers, as a love story, as a survey of the world's mystical traditions, as an examination of death and dying, and as an exploration of relationship as a means for spiritual development."—Natural Health

"A deep and searing look at living, dying, loving, death, and resurrection."—M. Scott Peck, M.D.

"A rare book—a love story that brings the perennial wisdom of the ages to life in all the anguish and exaltation that comprise the human condition. Treya Killam Wilber's honesty, vibrancy, and compassion speak through her many journal entries, masterfully woven with Ken's text, to make Grace and Grit a true experience of sacred partnership."—Joan Borysenko, Ph.D.; author of Minding the Body, Mending the Mind and Guilt Is the Teacher, Love Is the Lesson

Présentation de l'éditeur

is a deeply moving account of a couple's struggle with cancer and their journey
to spiritual healing.
and Grit

is the compelling story of the five-year journey of Ken Wilber and his wife
Treya Killam Wilber through Treya's illness, treatment, and, finally, death.

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Commentaires client les plus utiles sur (beta) 4.6 étoiles sur 5  85 commentaires
143 internautes sur 149 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 Blew the roof off my 5-star ceiling 4 août 2002
Par F. C. Boyd - Publié sur
I'll admit it. I've written a lot of five star reviews. I tend to comment when I have praise to offer. This book just took me to a whole new level of appreciation for a writer. It's like the difference between, "Yes, I think you are a lovely person" and "There isn't one thing about you which I don't find absolutely loveable."
I urge you to buy this book, and expand your own vision of what is possible: in a loving relationship, as one approaches the end of this physical existence, and within the human heart and soul.
This book woke me up. It reminded me about Love. (Saying that, the words seem so inadequate) The truth is, I can't come close to conveying the Love which comes through in this book. It�s personal love directed toward a wife, a husband, a family. It's universal Love which calls to you to find your way home. It beckons "Promise you will find me again."
I just finished reading the last chapter, and I cried and cried. I remembered what it was like when my mom died. Dannion Brinkley said that when someone dies, the doors to Heaven open up, and energy flows in both directions. I'll second that. My mothers death was one of the most sacred experiences of my life.
Reading this, I also remembered Love. A friend of mine used to tease his wife. She would say "Honey, do you love me?" And he would respond, "Only when I stop and think about it." Love is like that isn't it? If we don't stop and become present to Love, then Love isn't present in our awareness, and that which isn't present in our awareness isn't real to us in the present moment. At best, it is a myth about a "Once upon a time/somewhere someday" experience.
This book, and especially the last chapter increased my awareness of Love so dramatically, I felt like I just woke up. And then it repeated the experience. I just kept waking up to more and more love. I am overflowing with humble gratitude for the gift that reading this book is to me.
Thank you Ken. Thank you Treya. Thanks for reminding me of what I live for.
I have a request of you the reader. If you do nothing else, go to a bookstore and read the last chapter. I promise that if you are anything like me, it will flat out blow you away. Your reading that chapter will further the conversation of freedom. It will further the conversation of Love as a present moment reality. And it will further the conversation of death being beautiful in its own way, at its own time.
You will not regret the time invested. I promise.
--Frank Boyd
68 internautes sur 69 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 Masterful 29 septembre 1999
Par Un client - Publié sur
An extraordinary story which makes such a welcome and necessary change from the superficial and happy-clappy stories about illness that all have such happy endings. This has a sad, powerful, truthful, enlightening ending. Treya dies, just like nearly all cancer patients and yet her dying IS meaningful, but not in the New Age way of "its all just your karma, or a life lesson you have brought upon yourself" - puke!
The philosophy is outstanding. Highly intelligent and compassionate. No-one I have ever read about worked at hard as getting her spirit well (in case that might cure her cancer) as Treya and yet she dies. A definitive repost indeed to all the Caroline Myss and Louise Hay's of the world. I have grown deeply angry with the "you can heal your life/ you create your own reality" approaches as I struggle with (I hope) grace and grit through my own, possibly terminal, illness. This book is a rare shining example of truth - bright, brilliant, loving truth - in amongst the heap of self-righteous publications out there.
Read it to be moved. To be enlightened. To grow in wisdom and courage.
68 internautes sur 73 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
Par Rahayu Ratnaningsih - Publié sur
This book is a "supermarket" on love story, comedy,
psychology, spirituality, growth, enlightenment, alternative
medicines, life, death and healing. A real page turner that allows
you waste no time to finish it straight away. I read it during my
vacation two weeks ago. I took it with me during bath and each trip to
the loo. Every person, especially women,with or without cancer must
read this book. This is also a perfect gift for those with cancer
(the only downfall is of course the sensitive death issue so openly
talked about in this book the reality of which so many people in such
a predicament, both the patients and support people, find it difficult
to face and prepare for. This is most unfortunate since this could
perhaps be the only truly significant help and hope for both patients
and support people to make the remaining time left, say if miracle
doesn't come, worth living.)
It is a course on living (also death)
and how to be human and to accept all the human conditions that go
with it, written by both Ken and Treya Wilber. Ken Wilber has
skillfully increased my admiration and faith in the practicality and
superiority, both spiritual and intellectual, of (eastern)mysticism,
especially Buddhism, over mythical religions such as mainstream
Christianity and Islam (since there are also mystic branches in both
religions), although he wouldn't call himself a Buddhist for his deep
affinity for Christian mysticism and Vedanta Hinduism (despite his
rigorous Buddhist practice).As he noted in the book jocularly:
"All religions are the same, especially Buddhism".
love and dedication for Treya was so deeply touching. Treya's
remarkable endurance and psychological/spiritual health despite
extreme agony, pain and suffering she went through was unequaled. Her
enormous love of life and calm acceptance of her imminent death was a
true epitome of the "passionate equanimity" she coined (she
still read her favorite phrases from her favorite spiritual books Ken
wrote on cards in bold after she was almost totally blind due to her
malignant brain tumor). The title of this book was taken from the
last entry she put on her journal two days before she died that also
signified this harmonious paradox and her victory of her lifetime
balance seeking between doing and being.
A both are
"gifted" with advanced intelligence (Ken Wilber is a
intellectual, material and spiritual. They were lucky to have each
other because they beautified each other in every way, though under
extreme duress the strength of their love and commitment to each other
wasn't without challenge which once almost tore them apart.
book has "quietly" changed me (perhaps also my life, I can't
tell yet). I didn't feel it straight away but later I realised how
this book and Treya's incessant and "joyful" (she was a joy,
in spite of everything)struggle has always been on the back of my mind
ever since. In so many ways I can see my reflection in Treya. She
was single for a long time before she met Ken in her 36 years of age
(and sentenced with breast cancer 10 days after their wedding). She
was attractive and highly intelligent. I am in my early thirties and
unmarried and many think I am attractive and highly intelligent. She
was a writer, so am I. She had a deep interest in meditation,
spirituality, philosophy and mysticism, so do I. She had been
struggling all along searching for her daemon (one's inner deity or
guiding spirit, vocation, "life's work"), so have I. Her life
was a balancing act between yin and yang, the feminine and masculine
aspects of herself, between the intellectual and artistic sides of her
psyche, between taking control and assuming responsibility on one side
(masculine, yang, doing) and letting go, surrender and going with the
flow on the other (feminine, yin,being/accepting). Doing is
"obsessed" with producing something, making something, achieving
something; it is aggressive, competitive, oriented toward the future
and depended on rules and judgement. Being, otoh, is embracing the
present, accepting a person for what he is, not for he can do; it
values relationship, inclusion, acceptance, compassion and care. I am
struggling in that area too. Treya felt she had too much yang, had
always valued doing over being; the reason why she changed her name
from Terry, which she thought to be a man's name, to a more feminine
Treya (from estrella, Spanish word for "star"). I feel myself
too much prone to my masculine side too. She was the oldest in her
family, so am I, hence this relentless sense of responsibility of
being "the oldest son" in both of us.
Now, I can be more
accepting things as they really are. I'm still uptight, passionate
and obsessed about doing, producing, achieving and perfection, but
more relaxed and calm (passionate equanimity) and more fair and
generous to myself. My mind is more controlled and tamed, also due to
Zen meditation I'm beginning to take. I'm slowly deserting the
obsession for meaning (the meaning of life is there is no meaning in
life, life just is). Less ruminating on a perceived bargaining on
The part when she was dying was the most beautiful. It was a
lucid death, commonly practiced by the Tibetans. She was in complete
control (she more or less decided the timing of her own death), very
ecstatic about "going" and completely conscious (she refused
pain killer because she wanted to remain alert) until the very end,
maintaining a meditative posture prescribed by Tibetan Buddhism,
guided by her ever present beloved and loving husband who kept reading
her the instruction even after her clinical death (the accompanying
"Tibetan Book of the Dead", translated by Robert Thurman, the
most profound, sophisticated and complete account on the science of
death and the art of dying, is also recommended). By the time she
opened her eyes for the last time and gazed to everyone present in the
room and exhaled her last breath at the age of 41, much tear has been
profusely shed from my eyes. What even more remarkable was the fact
that she closed her gaping mouth, due to rigor mortis, by HERSELF 1
hour 45 minutes after her death and, then, smiled! (A sign of
advanced level of enlightenment in Tibetan Buddhism)! If death could
be that beautiful, I'm looking forward to my own death.
23 internautes sur 23 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 Practicing the wound of love . . . 31 décembre 1996
Par Un client - Publié sur
Here is a different side of Ken Wilber. More personal, more
vulnerable, more approachable by more people. It's easiest to
imagine Ken Wilber as a scholar/monk, locked in his study
grinding out title after title. (See _Sex, Ecology, Spirituality:
the Spirit of Evolution_ for a recent imposing example).
In _Grace and Grit_ we come as well to know an all-too-human Wilber,
a tragic lover with a heart stung by nettles of distraction and despair.
Putting his writing aside for a period of years, Ken became a full-time
support person for his wife Treya during her protracted struggle
with cancer. Until the very end, the Wilbers hoped and labored
for a cure. In the end, they chose to make Treya's death a
lesson in living for all of us. This is a sad and joyous book.
Saddest of all: what might Treya Killam Wilber have shared with us
had she lived longer? (Longer, not fuller. Her life was
full - there can be no doubt.) Most joyous: in this work the
Wilbers have shared both a vision and practice of hope beyond
the boundaries of biological existence. Recommended reading for
all who wonder how life can end, when love cannot.
16 internautes sur 16 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 Equanimity? Equanimity! 7 décembre 2000
Par ingenieur - Publié sur
A friend gave this book me to read, after my former wife passed away due to metastatic breast cancer (I wished I read it years ago). When I found a strength to read it, I was touched how similar experiences Ken and I had. Hopelessness. The toughest one. His openess about dropping meditation, having few beers for lunch, booze for breakfast, contemplating shotgun purchase, hitting Treya during an argument...all by a (perhaps) most important philosopher/psychologist of our era. That takes courage, to write about it. Equanimity, a simple word with so much challenge built-in. I supported then_my_wife with her choices of not going for chemo, radiation and sticking to Gerson diet, yoga, meditation, and enzymes, mega vitamins etc (treatments Treya did at the end of her life). She lived great 6 years (without pouring poisons into her body). The book is intertwined with diary style, philosophy, letters, dreams, narration of their lifes. I wish he had included his coping mechanism, after Treya's death, for its very difficult to find the balance after "the pull" of events ends . Also, there is no word about how they managed financially. Living is expensive, but so is dying. Then, in my opinion, the story would be complete. Regardless, I highly recommend this book.
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