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The Highly Sensitive Person [Anglais] [Broché]

Elaine Aron
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Description de l'ouvrage

2 juin 1997
Are you a highly sensitive person?

Do you have a keen imagination and vivid dreams?  Is time alone each day as essential to you as food and water?  Are you "too shy" or "too sensitive" according to others?  Do noise and confusion quickly overwhelm you?  If your answers are yes, you may be a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP).

Most of us feel overstimulated every once in a while, but for the Highly Sensitive Person, it's a way of life.  In this groundbreaking book, Dr. Elaine Aron, a psychotherapist, workshop leader and highly sensitive person herself, shows you how to identify this trait in yourself and make the most of it in everyday situations.  Drawing on her many years of research and hundreds of interviews, she shows how you can better understand yourself and your trait to create a fuller, richer life.  

In The Highly Sensitive Person , you will discover:
* Self-assessment tests to help you identify your particular sensitivities
* Ways to reframe your past experiences in a positive light and gain greater self-esteem in the process
* Insight into how high sensitivity affects both work and personal relationships
* Tips on how to deal with overarousal
* Informations on medications and when to seek help
* Techniques to enrich the soul and spirit

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Descriptions du produit


"Cry baby!"


"Don't be a spoilsport!"

Echoes from the past?  And how about this well-meaning warning: "You're just too sensitive for your own good."

If you were like me, you heard a lot of that, and it made you feel there must be something very different about you.  I was convinced that I had a fatal flaw that I had to hide and that doomed me to a second-rate life.  I thought there was something wrong with me.

In fact, there is something very right with you and me.  If you answer true to fourteen or more of the questions on the self-test at the end of this preface, or if the detailed description in chapter 1 seems to fit you (really the best test), then you are a very special type of human being, a highly sensitive person--which hereafter we'll call an HSP.  And this book is just for you.

Having a sensitive nervous system is normal, a basically neutral trait.  You probably inherited it.  It occurs in about 15-20 percent of the population.  It means you are aware of subtleties in your surroundings, a great advantage in many situations.  It also means you are more easily overwhelmed when you have been out in a highly stimulating environment for too long, bombarded by sights and sounds until you are exhausted in a nervous-system sort of way.  Thus, being sensitive has both advantages and disadvantages.

In our culture, however, possessing this trait is not considered ideal and that fact probably has had a major impact on you.  Well-meaning parents and teachers probably tried to help you "overcome" it, as if it were a defect.  Other children were not always as nice about it.  As an adult, it has probably been harder to find the right career and relationships and generally to feel self-worth and self-confidence.

What This Book Offers You

This book provides basic, detailed information you need about your trait, data that exist nowhere else.  It is the product of five years of research, in-depth interviews, clinical experience, courses and individual consultations with hundreds of HSPs, and careful reading between the lines of what psychology has already learned about the trait but does not realize it knows.  In the first three chapters you will learn all the basic facts about your trait and how to handle overstimulation and overarousal of your nervous system.

Next, this book considers the impact of your sensitivity on your personal history, career, relationships, and inner life.  It focuses on the advantages you may not have thought of, plus it gives advice about typical problems some HSPs face, such as shyness or difficulty finding the right sort of work.

It is quite a journey we'll take.  Most of the HSPs I've helped with the information that is in this book have told me that it has dramatically changed their lives--and they've told me to tell you that.

What You'll Need

I have found that HSPs benefit from a fourfold approach, which the chapters in this book will follow.

1.  Self-knowledge.  You have to understand what it means to be an HSP. Thoroughly.  And how it fits with your other traits and how your society's negative attitude has affected you.  Then you need to know your sensitive body very well.  No more ignoring your body because it seems too uncooperative or weak.

2.  Reframing.  You must actively reframe much of your past in the light of knowing you came into the world highly sensitive.  So many of your "failures" were inevitable because neither you nor your parents and teachers, friends and colleagues, understood you.  Reframing how you experienced your past can lead to solid self-esteem, and self-esteem is especially important for HSPs, for it decreases our overarousal in new (and therefore highly stimulating) situations.

Reframing is not automatic, however.  That is why I include "activities" at the end of each chapter that often involve it.

3.  Healing.  If you have not yet done so, you must begin to heal the deeper wounds.  You were very sensitive as a child; family and school problems, childhood illnesses, and the like all affected you more than others. Furthermore, you were different from other kids and almost surely suffered for that.

HSPs especially, sensing the intense feelings that must arise, may hold back from the inner work necessary to heal the wounds from the past.  Caution and slowness are justified.  But you will cheat yourself if you delay.

4.  Help With Feeling Okay When Out in the World and Learning When to Be Less Out.  You can be, should be, and need to be involved in the world.  It truly needs you.  But you have to be skilled at avoiding overdoing or underdoing it. This book, free of the confusing messages from a less sensitive culture, is about discovering that way.

I will also teach you about your trait's effect on your close relationships. And I'll discuss psychotherapy and HSPs--which HSPs should be in therapy and why, what kind, with whom, and especially how therapy differs for HSPs.  Then I'll consider HSPs and medical care, including plenty of information on medications like Prozac, often taken by HSPs.  At the end of this book we will savor our rich inner life.

The Research Behind This Book

As knowledge about my trait changed my life, I decided to read more about it, but there was almost nothing available.  I thought the closest topic might be introversion.  The psychiatrist Carl Jung wrote very wisely on the subject, calling it a tendency to turn inward.  The work of Jung, himself an HSP, has been a major help to me, but the more scientific work on introversion was focused on introverts not being sociable, and it was that idea which made me wonder if introversion and sensitivity were being wrongly equated.

With so little information to go on, I decided to put a notice in a newsletter that went to the staff of the university where I was teaching at the time.  I asked to interview anyone who felt they were highly sensitive to stimulation, introverted, or quick to react emotionally.  Soon I had more volunteers than I needed.

Next, the local paper did a story on the research.  Even though there was nothing said in the article about how to reach me, over a hundred people phoned and wrote me, thanking me, wanting help, or just wanting to say, "Me, too." Two years later, people were still contacting me.  (HSPs sometimes think things over for a while before making their move!)

Based on the interviews (forty for two to three hours each), I designed a questionnaire that I have distributed to thousands all over North America.  And I directed a random-dialing telephone survey of three hundred people as well. The point that matters for you is that everything in this book is based on solid research, my own or that of others.  Or I am speaking from my repeated observations of HSPs, from my courses, conversations, individual consultations, and psychotherapy with them.  These opportunities to explore the personal lives of HSPs have numbered in the thousands.  Even so, I will say "probably" and "maybe" more than you are used to in books for the general reader, but I think HSPs appreciate that.

Deciding to do all of this research, writing, and teaching has made me a kind of pioneer.  But that, too, is part of being an HSP.  We are often the first ones to see what needs to be done.  As our confidence in our virtues grows, perhaps more and more of us will speak up--in our sensitive way.

Instructions to the Reader

1.  Again, I address the reader as an HSP, but this book is written equally for someone seeking to understand HSPs, whether as a friend, relative, advisor, employer, educator, or health professional.

2.  This book involves seeing yourself as having a trait common to many.  That is, it labels you.  The advantages are that you can feel normal and benefit from the experience and research of others.  But any label misses your uniqueness.  HSPs are each utterly different, even with their common trait. Please remind yourself of that as you proceed.

3.  While you are reading this book, you will probably see everything in your life in light of being highly sensitive.  That is to be expected.  In fact, it is exactly the idea.  Total immersion helps with learning any new language, including a new way of talking about yourself.  If others feel a little concerned, left out, or annoyed, ask for their patience.  There will come a day when the concept will settle in and you'll be talking about it less.

4.  This book includes some activities which I have found useful for HSPs.  But I'm not going to say that you must do them if you want to gain anything from this book.  Trust your HSP intuition and do what feels right.

5.  Any of the activities could bring up strong feelings.  If that happens, I do urge you to seek professional help.  If you are now in therapy, this book should fit well with your work there.  The ideas here might even shorten the time you will need therapy as you envision a new ideal self--not the culture's ideal but your own, someone you can be and maybe already are.  But remember that this book does not substitute for a good therapist when things get intense or confusing.

This is an exciting moment for me as I imagine you turning...

Détails sur le produit

  • Broché: 272 pages
  • Editeur : Harmony; Édition : New edition (2 juin 1997)
  • Langue : Anglais
  • ISBN-10: 0553062182
  • ISBN-13: 978-0553062182
  • Dimensions du produit: 20,9 x 14 x 1,8 cm
  • Moyenne des commentaires client : 5.0 étoiles sur 5  Voir tous les commentaires (2 commentaires client)
  • Classement des meilleures ventes d'Amazon: 1.803 en Livres anglais et étrangers (Voir les 100 premiers en Livres anglais et étrangers)
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Couverture | Copyright | Table des matières | Extrait | Index
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3 internautes sur 3 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 Une révélation 1 novembre 2013
Par Tollbine
Format:Format Kindle|Achat vérifié
Je rejoins l'auteure du précédent commentaire. Si on est une "personne hautement sensible", la lecture de ce livre fait un bien phénoménal. Il aide à assumer ce trait particulier du caractère face à une société qui prône l'extroversion, la rapidité, le bruit, le divertsissement permanent etc.

C'est un trait de caractère qui est souvent mal vu et surtout mal compris par la majorité des gens,y compris par les médecins dont certains (beaucoup probablement) pensent qu'il faut le soigner.

Je plains les enfants qui partagent ce trait et qui doivent s'intégerer et subir une école publique qui ne respecte en rien cette particularité et qui fait tout pour la gommer. J'espère que des parents lisent ce livre (ou celui consacré plus particulièrement à l'enfant) pour cesser de vouloir changer leur enfant qui n'est ni malade, ni moins bien que les autres mais tout juste différent et très précieux.
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4 internautes sur 6 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 Superbe 26 juin 2010
Par aurélie
Le style n'est pas des plus faciles mais le livre présente une révélation géniale et absolument cruciale, si vous aussi vous vous êtes souvent "anormal", le vilain petit canard trop sensible, allez sur le site de l'auteur faire le test et le cas échéant je vous recommande extrêmement chaudement ce livre ! A lire aussi si vous êtes proche d'une personne hypersensible (15-20% de la population tout de même donc c'est très probable!)
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Commentaires client les plus utiles sur (beta) 4.2 étoiles sur 5  416 commentaires
357 internautes sur 369 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 If you've ever been told, "You're too sensitive," read this 12 juin 1998
Par Un client - Publié sur
In this unique book, research psychologist Elaine Aron breaks new psychological ground by defining a personality trait inadequately explored in the past, a trait that an estimated 15-20% of the U.S. population carries. The trait manifests in a highly sensitive nervous system present from birth and probably inherited, much like other personality traits or physical features. Highly sensitive people, or HSPs as Aron calls people who possess this trait, are much more sensitive to nearly everything they experience -- from the sensory characteristics of objects and events, to the subtleties of inner feelings and relationships between people. As a result of this heightened awareness to everything in their environment, highly sensitive people in our culture are often told, "You're too sensitive for your own good," and are admonished to develop a "tougher skin." Ms. Aron discusses the ways in which people with this trait have frequently been mislabeld in the past, often branded as "shy," "introverted," or "neurotic," even by professionals. She goes to great lengths to define and describe the sensitivity trait as it influences an individual's life, providing both research evidence and personal anecdotes from the scores of people interviewed for her work. The evidence illustrates that being a highly sensitive person is both a blessing and a burden, depending upon a number of different factors in the life history of the individual. Possessing this trait can make life challenging at times but Ms. Aron, herself an HSP, emphasizes that being sensitive is not a psychological disorder or a personality flaw to get rid of. The sensitivity trait is merely a part of an individual's personality. Being highly sensitive need not limit a person's enjoyment of life, but it will impact everything from relationships with others to the work one chooses to do. THE HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON is less self-help and more self-acceptance, however, Aron offers suggestions! for contending with the highly sensitive nautre in order to thrive in a society that often fails to appreciate this trait, particularly in boys and men. If you are or know a highly sensitive person, this book offers constructive insights that will bring new perspective to the past, the present, and the future.
397 internautes sur 413 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 A path-breaking book 18 mai 2000
Par Un client - Publié sur
My husband bought this book for me because he'd read about it and thought that I might be what Aron terms a "highly sensitive person" (HSP). Like many of the other reviewers here, I was amazed to discover that Aron described, and explained, many of my own traits and experiences: sensitivity to noise and dislike of hubbub (strong characteristics of American culture); stress and fatigue from brief and ordinary, though intense to me, social interactions; the ability to sense other people's moods and what is going on below surface interactions more so than others seem to; and the feeling of being the only one who experiences the world as I do. Aron's study is grounded in solid research and persuasive scientific explanations, as well as in her personal experiences and those of numerous subjects she interviewd. This is a path-breaking book that not only validates the experiences of sensitive people but gives specific, thoughtful advice for understanding ourselves, coping in the world (in a variety of situations, including one's job), and making the most of our senstivity. I suspect that the opinionated rants found among some of these reviews are from non-HSPs who don't get it, because HSPs are by nature more thoughtful (rather than boorish and angry) and would offer well-considered, fair assessments of the book. Thank you, Dr. Aron, for giving us this wonderful book.
426 internautes sur 449 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 Highly sensitive people are an asset- not defectives. 12 février 2003
Par OAKSHAMAN - Publié sur
Format:Broché|Achat vérifié
I truly wish that this book would have existed 30 or more years ago. Almost everthing traditionally written on this subject has been tacitly negative. The highly sensitive, or introverted, personality type was automatically assumed to be defective to some degree for their failure to "adapt" to the extroverted "norm." I think that this is because most traditional American psychological thought has been fundamentally industrial and military psychology- the subject is always supposed to adapt to the environment and never the other way around. Those who cannot adapt are identified and disposed of. That is certainly how military psychology has always been practiced. This book is the first to demonstrate that highly sensitive people are both "normal" and have many valuable traits. Indeed, they excel against extraverts in most areas that make people truly "human." Not only that, but in other cultures without an unnatural majority of extraverts, the sensitive person was seen as the ideal friend and citizen.

I especially appreciated the explanation of the biochemistry of "over-stimulation." When sensitive people are forced to interact in unnatural evironments the cortisol levels in their bloodstream increases, making them even more sensitive to their environment than they usually are. Unless they can withdraw, or otherwise calm themselves, it is a virtual certainty that they will overreact. This means that they will act contrary to their usual conscientious, reasonable, and understanding normal behavior in order to escape. Needless to say, inspite of the fact that this reaction is virtually out of their control, this overreaction is dealt with harshly by society- and by employers. Inspite of the fact that highly sensitive people are the most conscientious, hard-working, competent, and even gifted, of employees 99% of the time, this absolute physical need to escape to a less stressful environment can ruin their lives. They are labeled as freaks, as not being "team players"- and as "unemployable." I know this, for like the author, I was also born a HSP. This means that in an unnaturally extraverted society I often find myself wishing that I had not been born at all- inspite of my gifts, inspite of the shear injustice of it all....
179 internautes sur 188 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 Is Over Stimulation A Way of Life for You? 10 mars 2004
Par Stephen Pletko - Publié sur

Answer true or false to these ten statements as they apply to you:

1. I find myself needing to withdraw during busy days to any place where I can have some privacy and relief from stimulation.
2. I am easily overwhelmed by things such as bright lights, strong smells, coarse fabrics, or sirens close by.
3. I get rattled when I have a lot to do in a short amount of time.
4. I startle easily.
5. I make it a point to avoid violent movies or TV shows.
6. Changes in my life shake me up.
7. When I must compete or be observed while performing a task, I become so nervous and shaky that I do much worse than I would otherwise.
8. I am very conscientious.
9. When I was a child, my parents or teachers seemed to see me as sensitive or shy.
10. I tend to be very sensitive to pain.

If you answered true to five or more of these statements or if any one or two statements are extremely true of you, then this book may be for you.

This easy-to-read, non-technical book (first published in 1996) by Dr. Elaine Aron, deals with the highly sensitive person (of which Aron is one). Such a person is one that has a very sensitive nervous system and thus has a trait of greater receptivity to stimulation that may cause over stimulation. This trait should not be confused with such things as introversion, shyness, inhibition, anxiety, or fear. (Interestingly, there are also extroverted highly sensitive people.)

This book provides basic, detailed information about this trait, data that is difficult to obtain elsewhere. According to the author, "[This book] is the product of five years of research, in-depth interviews, clinical experience, courses, and individual consultations with hundreds of highly sensitive persons."

If you feel that you are a highly sensitive person, this book will help you understand yourself better and show you how to thrive in today's not-so-sensitive world. Also, this book is written for those seeking to understand those that are highly sensitive, such as a friend, relative, employer, or educator.

This book consists of ten chapters:

*Chapter one helps one learn the basic facts about this trait and how it makes one different (not flawed) from others.
*Chapter two helps you understand your trait.
*In the third chapter, you'll learn to appreciate your highly sensitive body's needs.
*In the fourth chapter, you'll learn ways to rethink your past experiences in a positive light and gain greater self-esteem in the process.
*Chapter five gives insight of how high sensitivity affects non-intimate social relationships.
*Chapter six gives insight of how high sensitivity affects work relationships.
*In the seventh chapter, you'll find insight of how high sensitivity affects close intimate relationships.
*The eighth chapter deals with ways to heal the sometimes deep adult psychological wounds caused when one was a highly sensitive child or adolescent.
*Chapter nine gives information on medications and when to seek help. (The author advocates caution if you desire to use medication.)
*In the last chapter, you are introduced to techniques to enrich the soul and spirit.

Near the beginning of this book is a self-test to help you decide if you are highly sensitive. It consists of twenty-three statements (ten selected ones are presented above) of which you answer true or false. (I felt that some of these statements were too general.)

Throughout this book are voluntary activities that the author has found useful for highly sensitive people. As well, there are tips throughout on how to deal with over arousal.

Finally, there are three appendices that consist of tips for health-care providers, teachers, and employers who work with or employ highly sensitive people.

In conclusion, if you are highly sensitive or want to learn about this trait, then this is the groundbreaking book for you!!

72 internautes sur 74 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
4.0 étoiles sur 5 Get Ready To Have Some "AHA!" Moments! 10 août 2002
Par Peter Messerschmidt - Publié sur
Have you ever felt overwhelmed and "jangled" by situations most other people seem to take in their stride? Have you often heard the words "Crybaby" or "You're just too sensitive about stuff?" Do strong smells, bright lights are loud noise seem to affect you more than they affect other people? Do you enjoy people and their company, but feel exhausted after you've been around them for a while? Do you intuitively see solutions to problems other people spend weeks solving? Do prescription drugs affect you more strongly than indicated? If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, then you owe it to yourself to read this book. When I first read it, I had a long string of "AHA moments" with each chapter, and I have since spoken to many others who have had similar experiences.
Dr. Elaine N. Aron's research on High Sensitivity in people is a welcome effort to show the world that "not being the same as the societal ideal" does NOT necessarily have to be labeled as a pathology. This is an important book that will resonate with the millions of people who have spent their lives feeling just a little out of step with the frenetic, aggresive, extraverted, hectic "do, do, do!" aspects of modern society.
The book starts with a Sensitivity self-test, to allow readers to evaluate their degree of sensitivity. The good news is that if the test shows that you ARE a "Highly Sensitive Person" there is nothing "wrong" with you, and Dr. Aron has done a laudable job of helping us understand WHY. High Sensitivity is a genetic biological state you have about as much control over as the size of your feet-- and it certainly isn't a personality "disorder" in need of "repair." Throughout the book, Aron provides background to help readers understand more about their sensitivity, as well as tips and tools for how to improve the quality of their interaction with a world that isn't always tolerant of those who are a little "different."
For some people, this book is a serious eyeopener-- especially those who might have been diagnosed with, and treated for, Social Phobia or Generalized Anxiety Disorder-- while feeling that the diagnosis really didn't seem "right." Just the mere understanding of the characteristics of High Sensitivity could have a "healing effect" for them.
Anything I didn't like about this book? Well, stylistically, the writing is a bit dry and academic-- but then again, the book was not written for entertainment purposes.
A cautionary note: As with most self-help and self-analysis books, I would caution readers not to become TOO absorbed in pursuing the ideas presented in this book. As a long-time member of the "HSP Community" I have observed a number of people adopting their sensitivity as a "lifestyle" with a near-religious fervor, and a somewhat negative "Us vs. them" philosophy. Understanding that you're Highly Sensitive is not "the answer" to every problem in life-- it is merely a way to look at your life from a different perspective and gain some insight into making the most of a situation that sometimes makes you feel like a bit of a "misfit."
Overall rating: Highly Recommended (8.7 bookmarks out of a possible 10), not only for the Highly Sensitive Person, but also for a less sensitive person with a Highly Sensitive child or partner.
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