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His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage [Format Kindle]

Willard F. Jr. Harley

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Descriptions du produit

Présentation de l'éditeur

What will it take to make your marriage sizzle?

Time after time, His Needs, Her Needs has topped the charts as the best marriage book available. More than any other, this book helps husbands and wives give each other what they need most in marriage.

The millions of couples who have read His Needs, Her Needs have learned to keep the romance alive, and they are recommending it to others. Join those who have seen spectacular changes in their marriages by following Dr. Harley's tried and proven counsel. You will discover that an outstanding marriage can be more than a dream--it can be your reality.

What couples are saying about His Needs, Her Needs:

"My new husband and I were having trouble adjusting to marriage. I read the book and immediately things began to improve."

"It is the best book on marriage I have ever read."

"I have recommended this book to every one of my friends. It should become a staple in every house."

"I can't believe how peaceful and loving our marriage has become since reading this book. We went from being at the brink of divorce to experiencing the same love and excitement as when we first met."

Millions have already discovered the power of this book. Isn't it time you did as well?

Biographie de l'auteur

Dr Harley is a clinical psychologist and marriage and family therapist, with over 30 years' experience in marriage counselling.

Détails sur le produit

  • Format : Format Kindle
  • Taille du fichier : 2463 KB
  • Nombre de pages de l'édition imprimée : 240 pages
  • Editeur : Revell; Édition : Rev Exp (1 février 2011)
  • Vendu par : Amazon Media EU S.à r.l.
  • Langue : Anglais
  • Synthèse vocale : Activée
  • X-Ray :
  • Word Wise: Non activé
  • Composition améliorée: Non activé
  • Classement des meilleures ventes d'Amazon: n°79.964 dans la Boutique Kindle (Voir le Top 100 dans la Boutique Kindle)

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Commentaires en ligne

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Commentaires client les plus utiles sur Amazon.com (beta)
Amazon.com: 4.6 étoiles sur 5  564 commentaires
119 internautes sur 127 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
4.0 étoiles sur 5 a good read 4 mai 2013
Par Jzapper - Publié sur Amazon.com
I read this book about 10 years ago. I remember the first few chapters being amazing because both my husband and I fit exactly with the needs as described. My brother and his wife are going through lots of issues and I decided to see if I could find it here on amazon. I saw it had some one star reviews and twos, and wanted to see what they were given for, because I enjoyed it so much more than that.
I will say, I can see a lot of the points given in those one star reviews. It was written in a different time, true. However.....I didn't get from it what a lot of these people did. For one some saw this as stating that a man was the one who would stray and they were sex driven. Half of that is true, sex is one of the mans top 5 needs. But it did NOT make it sound as if only the man would stray. It isn't even stating that the there will definitely be affairs. Its a helpful insight to help prevent those thoughts. If you just look at the top 5 needs of the woman, and the top 5 needs of the man and think they fit both you and your spouse, then this book can help if you are having issues or had issues and trying to understand or move past them.
You also have to have the 'traditional' sense of family, which you most likely will if the needs fit with your needs.
His needs:............................Her needs:
1. Sexual fulfillment.................1. Affection

2. Recreational companionship.........2. Conversation

3. An attractive spouse...............3. Honesty and openness

4. Domestic support...................4. Financial support

5. Admiration.........................5. Family commitment

So even reading this list you can see its based on the very basic roles of man and woman. Just because there are so many women out there who want that dominating, equal, or independent life doesn't mean its ALL women. There are lots who still want to play the role of taking care of the family and husband and many men who want to be the provider and be taken care of. But both roles have to fit that situation in order for this book to be helpful.
That doesn't mean a two income family wont benefit from this at all. This means you might just have to adjust some of the needs. If you want to find helpful insights you will make and imply the helpful parts and hence it wont be a waste of money. There are no easy fixes or ways to make your marriage work. YOU have to make it work and if you feel you wasted your money then chances are you will continue wasting your money on other resources as well.
My husband and I both benefitted from this. 7 years into my marriage, my husband and I were not in a very happy place. This book made me understand why I started having feeling for another man, even when I logically knew I loved my husband and shouldn't stray. But I sure could have. Luckily I moved away before that went any where, but had I stayed, I know I could have. My husband strayed once as well....at that point is when I got this book, because I KNEW it just wasn't him. Basically he was missing two or three of his needs and I was missing three, but the point is if you know the needs and can understand how you can fill them, you avoid the possibility of straying or even the want of it.
I really hope this helps someone. Even if only one!(my husband and I have been together 21yrs now since 1992 in high school, married in 1994)
70 internautes sur 77 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
4.0 étoiles sur 5 Solid book but sometimes extreme 24 avril 2012
Par Aaron M. Marcelli - Publié sur Amazon.com
His Needs Her Needs is a book that was recommended to me by a pastor. I did not know what to expect from the book but found a lot of the contend helpful.

The entire premise is that you need to safeguard your marriage from an affair. Harley argues that the best way to do this is for each spouse to meet the five essential needs of their partner. He also accurately points out the the top five needs of men are quite different from the top five needs of women. From the conflict my wife and I have had in the past I agree that the needs of husbands and wives are different and I would also agree with Harley's assessment of what the top five needs of women are. I'm not so sure his top five needs of men thesis is air tight.

Much of what he has to say is also based on his self-created premise of the idea of "Love Bank." He says that the reason people love each other is because throughout the course of dating and knowing each other they begin to meet some of each others needs, therefore making "deposits" into each others love bank. We then carry around a balance of love points for each other than are our main source in determining how we feel about our partner (or anyone else for that matter). I think there are things to learn from this theory but I do not believe it is as foundational or all-explaining as the author assumes. He makes the claim that even in long periods of absence our love banks for the most part remain at the balance they were when we were last with the other person. I don't think such is always the case.

The book's outline rotates between the needs of men and the needs of women with each chapter rotating between the two partners and addressing a specific need. Each chapter then ends with a set of questions addressed to the men, a set addressed to the women, and a set for the couple to answer together. This makes the book a great source to read with your partner. The book also has three appendixes with helpful resources such as an interests survey. This helped my wife and I identify some new activities we want to try together. I think he then goes a little to the extreme when he suggests a partner never participate in an activity in which their spouse does not also enjoy and would not participate with them.

A lot of the principles Harley gives are based off real experiences he has seen from counseling many troubled couples. Though he speaks of specific cases I think most married people could identify in part with many of these stories. He speaks with authority and care as well as being very level headed when discussing marital problems and affairs. The final chapters are a guide to dealing with an affair and though that is not my situation I will certainly keep the book on file for use if that situation should ever occur with someone I know.

I would recommend this book to pretty much every married couple as I think there are enough common issues dealt with that every couple can draw something from it.
34 internautes sur 39 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 Amazing Book! Invaluable for Pre-engaged Couples 24 octobre 2011
Par GreenGrassGrowsAllAround - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format:Format Kindle
We read this book together before we got engaged, and the way it promotes honesty and awareness of eachother has played a huge part in the success of our relationship and marriage. When I bought it I was impressed by the high sales number and thought it would make a good choice out of sooooo many marriage and relationship books. We are so glad we picked this one; I don't think our relationship would be half as strong without using what we learned here.

The "on your word" recomendation has brought us to a truthful and loving understanding on more occasions than I can count. Contrary to a review about becoming a Stepford Wife, this book helps you be transparent in a loving way and avoid hidden unhappiness. It teaches how to built healthy activity habits that will bring and keep you together....And IT WORKS!

We give it with wedding gifts. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. If you are on the fence, remember it is probably cheaper than one copay to see a therapist! This book will teach you why and how to set healthy patterns for your relationship, and is a great way to a fantastic long-lasting start.
9 internautes sur 9 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 a must for any marriage 15 mai 2013
Par camerafool - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format:Relié|Achat vérifié
it doesn't matter if you're having "issues" in your marriage or not. We're only in a few chapters and we are experiencing growth as a couple. You cannot have only one of you reading it however. You must both commit to this together.
39 internautes sur 49 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 Fantastic Book 8 mai 2012
Par GatoRat - Publié sur Amazon.com
The value of this book is the questionnaire. Reading the book helps you understand the typical (though by no means ALL) men and women and helps put the topics of the questionnaire in context. Limiting yourself and your partner to the needs listed, even if you don't entirely agree with them, gets you both on the same page and becomes a catalyst for honest discussion. Even discussing HOW you disagree with a specific need is revealing (startlingly so for me.)

My only real complaint is that several of the anecdotes the author uses are absurd and others are just pointless. Were it up to me, I'd edit the book down by at least a third. I've suggested to others to read the first few pages of each chapter to understand what is meant by each need, skip the stories, and then fill out the questionnaire twice. First go through it as fast as you can, wait a day, read what you wrote, throw it away, do a lot of thinking then do the questionnaire again (it's available online as a PDF.) I suggest NOT using custom needs; they tend to be trivial, lack a mutual context and end up leading you back to the he said/she said arguments where a lot is said and nothing understood, let alone resolved.

On a personal note, this book didn't save my marriage, but did save me. It helped me understand myself in ways nothing else had. It helped me understand that my needs weren't selfish, ways I wasn't being the best husband and how dysfunctional my marriage had become. It helped with post divorce counseling due largely to what my ex and I had revealed in the questionnaires and subsequent discussions. Most importantly, without understanding my needs, I probably would have charged into a new relationship just as destructive as the one I'd left.

During counseling while still married, the most surprising thing was when my then wife conceded that I was satisfying all her top five needs, though I needed improvement in a few, but then adamantly refused to admit that some of my top needs were even legitimate, until the counselor pushed her, and then she insisted I'd just have to accept that I wouldn't have some of my needs met. Ever. It may sound weird, but after all our arguments and attempts to fix our marriage, to have our differences laid out so plain was refreshing.
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