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How to Disagree Without Being Disagreeable: Getting Your Point Across with the Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense
 
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How to Disagree Without Being Disagreeable: Getting Your Point Across with the Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense [Format Kindle]

Suzette Haden Elgin

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Descriptions du produit

Présentation de l'éditeur

As bestselling author Suzette Haden Elgin proves, you don't have to live your life on red alert. With her Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense techniques, you'll be able to respond clearly to hostile comments from others--or deliver necessary negative messages of your own--without sacrificing your dignity or principles. You'll learn to:
* Keep domestic disagreements from escalating
* Deliver criticism to coworkers, employers, or employees
* Handle aggressive, negative comments about race, politics, or religion
* Provide discipline without increasing hostility
* Use language that reduces tension and creates rapport in every situation

Book Description

As bestselling author Suzette Haden Elgin proves, you don't have to live your life on red alert. With her Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense techniques, you'll be able to respond clearly to hostile comments from others—or deliver necessary negative messages of your own—without sacrificing your dignity or principles. You'll learn to:
  • Keep domestic disagreements from escalating
  • Deliver criticism to coworkers, employers, or employees
  • Handle aggressive, negative comments about race, politics, or religion
  • Provide discipline without increasing hostility
  • Use language that reduces tension and creates rapport in every situation

Détails sur le produit

  • Format : Format Kindle
  • Taille du fichier : 663 KB
  • Nombre de pages de l'édition imprimée : 208 pages
  • Editeur : Jossey-Bass; Édition : 1 (10 décembre 2007)
  • Vendu par : Amazon Media EU S.à r.l.
  • Langue : Anglais
  • ASIN: B003STD46W
  • Synthèse vocale : Activée
  • X-Ray :
  • Classement des meilleures ventes d'Amazon: n°110.114 dans la Boutique Kindle (Voir le Top 100 dans la Boutique Kindle)
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Commentaires en ligne 

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Amazon.com: 4.2 étoiles sur 5  17 commentaires
71 internautes sur 71 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 A very practical book on handling everyday situations 17 octobre 1998
Par Laura - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format:Broché
How to Disagree Without Being Disagreeable is the 12th book in the Gentle Art of Verbal Self Defense series. The first three books present the general principles of the Gentle Art and how to use them to handle hostile language coming at you. The remaining books each deal with using these principles in specific situations. Each can stand alone and the ones I have read have been very relevant to their subject. In this book, Dr. Elgin discusses how to impart negative messages or criticism to others without increasing hostility in your language environment. The first part of the book deals with an overview of hostile language and its cost both to society and our personal lives. I thought this information was interesting because the way we use language is taken for granted and it is a fascinating idea that each one making deliberate and thoughtful changes in the way they use language can have a great positive influence in our world. The remainder of the book gives practical ways to pass on negative messages without resorting to hostile language or making an already difficult situation even more so. Where it is applicable, the different ways situations are handled by men and women are discussed. One of the things I appreciated most in this part of the book was the use of scenarios. These dialogues enabled me to see and hear both the way a particular situation is handled and how using that particular technique would be better. Since there are many occasions which require the passing of negative information, this is a very practical book and one I would recommend for everyone. As a volunteer reference librarian in a public library system, I think it would be a good addition to public libraries also.
71 internautes sur 76 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
2.0 étoiles sur 5 A book you can easily pass by. 29 septembre 1998
Par Un client - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format:Broché
I have read several books in the Verbal Self-Defense series and in all truthfullness I must say that the first book - Gentle Art of Verbal Self Defense - made a terrific impression on me. Her subsequent books in the series were extensions on the same theme but one has to really look deep into the material to find even marginal benefits. I felt quite disappointed reading "How to Disagree Without Being Disagreeable : Getting Your Point Across With the Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense" I was expecting to see some concrete steps I could use in daily interactions with people but all I saw were trite explanations and a rehash of the earlier books.
28 internautes sur 29 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 An extremely strong book 5 octobre 1998
Par Un client - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format:Broché
The Gentle Art series is written for "normal" people. Each of the books is written to a different audience and each is very powerful. Few people should read all the books, but those with the specific needs can not find anything better. This book has strong tools you can use in day to day interactions with dialogues, examples and powerfully clean writing.
5 internautes sur 5 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 Judo with words 21 mars 2008
Par Chris Austin-Lane - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format:Broché
This book is indispensable if you find yourself having to choose between being taken advantage of or being mean. It offers a perspective that allows one to identify verbal hostility and to respond to it in a way that preserves your own balance and can often lead to calming the entire situation and re-establishing connection. It's funny, practical, full of useful examples and a good framework for thinking about hostile language.
3 internautes sur 3 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
4.0 étoiles sur 5 4-star content; 0-star OCR 6 novembre 2013
Par Fred - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format:Format Kindle|Achat vérifié
I found this to be a useful, helpful book with a variety of practical strategies for civil, courteous communication. The starting arguments Elgin offers as to why this is so important are twofold. First, she says that hostile, discourteous language frequently escalates not merely to broken relationships but also to violence. It is hard to argue with the first point, and in a time of volatile public discourse, where (among other examples she gives) “dissing” someone is sufficient cause for murder in some quarters, it is pretty easy to see her point about the tendency to violence.

Her second argument is that this hostile language is a consequence of how we see disagreements: we very, very often see them as combat, which means that there must be a winner and a loser, and all is fair in war, so who cares about your feelings? I think this is an excellent observation on Elgin’s part, and does much to explain how malevolent so much conversation so readily becomes on the Internet (for example). Much, much better would be to treat disagreement as a shared opportunity to discover the truth—one to be pursued humbly and charitably.

I wonder, though, just how far Elgin is willing to go with her argument. She says that we have an obligation to avoid hostile language because of the consequences it often brings, and I am loath to disagree, but if we are to be held responsible for others’ reactions to our language, are we responsible for reactions to other things we do? To raise the obvious, controversial example: is a provocatively-dressed woman in any way responsible for any evil responses coming from the men around her? That sounds like blaming the victim of course, but if I am responsible in some way for how you react to my choice of words and tone of voice then it seems difficult to argue that a “tarted-up” woman in a singles bar can’t reasonably expect to avoid any blame for wolf whistles or worse (God forbid) directed her way. If I am wrong about this analogy to Elgin’s argument, I would be happy to learn why. As it stands, I can only wonder if Elgin sees this consequence of her overall argument.

A word must be said about the Kindle edition. It is terrible. It is pretty clear that no one bothered to proofread the OCR’ed text. It is posh with typos. Likewise, it is a disservice to readers of digital editions to leave references to “page 56” (for example) that have no meaning on our devices. How about hyperlinks instead?
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Passages les plus surlignés

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&quote;
when people are trying to communicate under stress their language falls into one of five patterns: Blaming, Placating, Computing, Distracting, and Leveling. &quote;
Marqué par 12 utilisateurs Kindle
&quote;
1. What is the hostile speakers motivation for talking to me this way? 2. What do I actually disagree with in this case? That is: do I disagree with the speakers claims, do I think the speakers facts are wrong, do I object only to the tone the speaker is using, or is it something else? 3. What is the most effective way for me to respond? &quote;
Marqué par 11 utilisateurs Kindle
&quote;
If hostile language is your standard method for handling conflict, for getting others to do what you want or need, for persuading others to agree with you, for presenting your plans and ideas, your children will inherit that from you. &quote;
Marqué par 11 utilisateurs Kindle

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