How to Love a Woman: On Intimacy And The Erotic Life Of Women (Anglais) CD – Livre audio, CD
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1. See them "blind," i.e. with your inner eye. Know how you feel about them. Be aware how they treat you: are they loyal? are they kind? devoted? Do they have the ability to care for themselves as independent beings?
2. Someone who can change and is evolving, Who is curious about the world. Who is open and is willing to learn.
3. Who is strong like you. Strong like a great tree, but bends in the wind. Who is sensitive to others.
4. Someone whose feeling function has not been impaired by past pain and pent up anger. If either hurts the other they show pain. Their ability to se your pain and feel for you.
5. Who has an inner life of their own. This helps because there are times to be together and times to be alone. Be equal partners on life's journey.
6. Shared experiences and memories are the glue that helps keep you together. There needs to be some similar passions so you can do things together.
7. Similar views on basic questions, e.g. the role of women, rearing children, attitudes to money. When the pragmatics are settled it is easier to soar.
8. Someone who is compassionate and listens. It takes 8-9 years to know the rhythm of a relationship. It is the building of a miracle.
9. Someone who can laugh at themselves. Humour defuses tensions.
10. Know who you can live with. `Cute' habits can annoy you later. Serious behavioural problems--substance addictions, lying, etc.--are intolerable. Your partner should have a soul life.
11. Be friends and lovers. Do for a lover what you would do for a good friend. Sit and listen; discuss what you want to do.
12. Someone who makes your life bigger rather than smaller.
This is excellent advice for good relationships. Dr Estes also uses myths and stories to illustrate her views.
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