How To Stop Worrying And Start Living (Anglais) Broché – 23 mai 1990
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Dale Carnegie shows how worry has been conquered by thousands, some famous, but most just ordinary people, and offers practical suggestions for leading a more positive and enjoyable life. Worry-free tips include:
- Fundamental facts you should know about worry
- A magic formula for solving worry situations
- How to eliminate fifty per cent of your business worries
- Seven ways to cultivate a mental attitude that will bring you peace and happiness
- How to keep from worrying about criticism
- Six ways to prevent fatigue and worry
- Personal tips from those who have conquered worry
Try his methods today and this book could change the way of your future.
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pas d'idées nouvelles mais une compilation de bons sens qui fait du bien pour les gens un peu ou beaucoup angoissés.
Les conseils donnés dans ce bouquins sont utiles et efficaces et je le conseille vraiment pour ceux qui ont du mal à gérer les petites contrariétés du quotidien voire les gros soucis.
J"ai complètement halluciné quand j'ai vu qu'il avait été écrit en 1944! je pensais qu'il était récent.
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The writing style is classic Carnegie. To put it simply, the guy just writes like he talks. This makes for a very friendly and easy to understand book, rather like a good friend giving you a piece of advice.
And a lot of advice he gives. The book is divided up into ten sections, each one tackling some aspect of worrying. I could give you a rundown of the topics, but you don't really need me to repeat the table on contents to decide if you want to read the book. Rather, let me just say that book covers just about every major "worry issue" that might be causing a troubled mind, such as your work, your finances, other people's criticisms- and them some.
While there are no earth-shattering, never-before-seen tips in the book, I wouldn't hesitate for a second to recommend it to anyone who is looking to ease their mind a bit. That's because it does a GREAT job of conveying simple wisdom that really make you think good and hard about why you're worrying and if those things are really worth worrying about at all.
In short, its a bestseller because it makes a lot of sense and its advice can do a lot to re-frame your thinking about things. And if you can re-frame your thinking, well, you've about found the best "Compound-W" for worry warts. Readers who enjoyed this book might also enjoy "Finding Happiness in a Frustrating World".
I think this book is very good, but I think "How to Win Friends & Influence People" is the better of the two books. Also, Dale can come off as preachy at times. I think he was a wonderful, considerate person with the best of intentions, so I hesitate reproaching this "guru" of emotional intelligence.
I did enjoy listening to stories about personal transformation. People who had hit rock bottom were able to rebound from their falls. John D. Rockefeller turned his life around, much in the style of "Silas Marner," and no longer fretted about losing money. Thanks to his Rockefeller Foundation, countless good causes have had ample funding. I also like the story Dale shares about J. C. Penney. Penney felt that even his intimate loved ones believed the worst about him after he was implicated with the stock market crash of 1929. He became so worried that his health deteriorated. Then one day he stumbled into a chapel as the choir was singing, "God will take care of you." He recognized the truth of those words and within 20 minutes, snapped out of his despair.
Dale really revered Abraham Lincoln, and so do I, based on Dale's account of him. Abraham Lincoln would select men who disliked him if he thought those men were the best qualified for a given position. Someone asked Lincoln why he would consort with men who freely criticize him. Lincoln responded, "You have more of a feeling of personal resentment than I have. Perhaps I have too little of it. But I never thought it paid." He also said, "A man doesn't have the time to spend half his life in quarrels. If any man ceases to attack me, I never remember the past against him." Wow! Those are the words of an enlightened and secure human being.
I think that my problem has been that I took too personally the criticism of others (both just and unjust). I'm not a vindictive person; however, I hate feeling threatened, and my self-esteem--while it has improved, it is still vulnerable. It was the feeling of self-doubt that I hated--not really the person attacking me. I made the mistake of interchanging a person for his or her mistakes at my expense. If you no longer feel threatened by criticism and believe in yourself and your potential no matter what, then I think forgiveness is easy and natural. Dale warned that we pay too dearly for grudges with our lost peace of mind.
I like how this book among others can give us the tools to completely overhaul our unhelpful (or rather hurtful) ways of thinking about things. "How to Stop Worrying..." revisits platitudes and shows how they are less trite sayings than distilled truths. Turn lemons into lemonade. Count your blessings. Don't cry over spilled milk. He also talked about putting a "stop-loss order" on resentments, having our thoughts work for instead of against us, and how knowledge isn't power until it is applied. Forgive and forget our enemies. No person can humiliate or disturb us; a person really humiliates him/herself when s/he attempts to humiliate others. Or Eleanor Roosevelt's insight that no one can make us feel inferior without our permission. "If possible, no animosity should be felt for anyone." Edith Cabbal: "I realize now that patriotism is not enough. I must have no hatred or bitterness toward anyone." "Everynight I forgive everything & everybody." "Forget yourself by becoming interested in others." "Serving others is a sure way to forget our own troubles." "We hurt ourselves with thoughts of revenge." "Sympathy and compassion are the best antidotes to enmity."
The helpful quotes go on and on, and any of the above could become a person's mantra, depending on what issues s/he is working on. Ben Franklin had the great idea of working on one of his eight severest character flaws every week. He would alternate what vice he was trying to eliminate or at least, ameliorate. He would self-reflect upon his improvement or lack thereof. I've decided to imitate good old Ben and try this for myself.
I am grateful for Dale Carnegie and other helpful emotional intelligence gurus (Wayne Dyer, Deepak Choprah, and David Burns come to mind) for spelling out tools for emotional health and personal transformation. We all have great potential. As Dale said, we all live well within our means in terms of intellectual and emotional intelligence. Financially, it's great advice to live within our means, but we pay dearly to do so intellectually or emotionally.
This book was published nearly half a century ago, and was based on observations from the first half of the twentieth century. Does that make it a hopeless anachronism? Just the opposite...it shows us how far we've fallen in one very important respect: Our willingness to take responsibility for outr actions. Consider this: Every single bit of advice in this book is based on the premise that you, the reader, are responsible for your own destiny, and must personally take action in your own life...not wait for the government or a pill or someone else to take care of it for you. Not once is anyone in this book characterized as a "victim" (although many come under great misfortune). If this book were to be written today, the fault for it's subject's problems would lie entirely with external forces, as would all of the remedies.
I find it interesting that the overall term used to describe the problem this book attempts to solve ("worry"), is one that we never hear these days. In today's world, we say that someone is "stressed" to describe the same symptoms. Why? Because "worry" is something one does to one's self, and "stress" comes from the outside. We no longer want to acknowledge responsibility for anything.
I'll be the first to admit that we know much more today about the cause of mental and physical problems than we did when this book was written. But any open-minderd reader of this volume will have to admit that, in many respects, we've gone backward. This was self-help for what Tom Brokaw calls "the greatest generation", and I recommend it highly.