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If You Had Controlling Parents [Format Kindle]

Dan Neuharth

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Descriptions du produit

Présentation de l'éditeur

Do you sometimes feel as if you are living your life to please others? Do you give other people the benefit of the doubt but second-guess yourself? Do you struggle with perfectionism, anxiety, lack of confidence, emotional emptiness, or eating disorders? In your intimate relationships, have you found it difficult to get close without losing your sense of self?

If so, you may be among the fifteen million adults in the United States who were raised with unhealthy parental control. In this groundbreaking bestseller by accomplished family therapist Dan Neuharth, Ph.D., you'll discover whether your parents controlled eating, appearance, speech, decisions, feelings, social life, and other aspects of your childhood—and whether that control may underlie problems you still struggle with in adulthood. Packed with inspiring case studies and dozens of practical suggestions, this book shows you how to leave home emotionally so you can improve assertiveness, boundaries, and confidence, quiet you "inner critics," and bring more balance to your moods and relationships. Offering compassion, not blame, Dr. Neuharth helps you make peace with your past and avoid overcontrolling your children and other loved ones.

Biographie de l'auteur

Dan Neuharth, Ph.D., is a licensed family therapist with a Ph.D. in clinical psychology. A popular speaker, college educator, and award-winning journalist, he specializes in helping adults cope with the challenges of unhealthy family control. He lives in the San Francisco Bay Area.

Détails sur le produit

  • Format : Format Kindle
  • Taille du fichier : 852 KB
  • Nombre de pages de l'édition imprimée : 274 pages
  • Pagination - ISBN de l'édition imprimée de référence : 0060929324
  • Editeur : HarperCollins e-books (13 octobre 2009)
  • Vendu par : Amazon Media EU S.à r.l.
  • Langue : Anglais
  • ASIN: B000TU16PY
  • Synthèse vocale : Activée
  • X-Ray :
  • Word Wise: Activé
  • Composition améliorée: Non activé
  • Classement des meilleures ventes d'Amazon: n°233.138 dans la Boutique Kindle (Voir le Top 100 dans la Boutique Kindle)
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Amazon.com: 4.7 étoiles sur 5  84 commentaires
128 internautes sur 134 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 A book to understand sibling rivalry in "adult children"ÿ 20 novembre 1999
Par Carol Huston, Ph.D. - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format:Broché
I am a fifty-one year old single parent and college professor who, on the outside, appears to have a successful life. My career goals have been met--twice--and my appearance is one of a confident female in her field. My two children are in college and doing well in this age of disconnectedness between parents and children,
What my friends and colleagues do not see is my inner life of poorly chosen relationships, broken dreams, self-hate, and fear of failure. After years of therapy, I knew that there was something not right in my original family--sibling agression, phobias, etc.--that I feared confronting. Through Dr. Neuharth's book, I targeted the problem and now know I am not unique in being a child of controlling parents, and that my siblings are struggling with their own self-doubt and fear. This book takes a simple approach to understanding a complex problem by explaining why so many of us are still struggling with just trying to grow up. What a revelation!
I recommend this book to anyone who feels there is a problem with themselves but are not able to put their finger on the reason and who would like to finally do so. The format of checklists with dialog cuts to the chase without having to read through volumes of related literature.
I have sent copies to my brothers and sisters and can now feel 'okay' about my decision to put space between my parents and me while I learn to deal with the situation. This was the best book I have ever read to sort out the "whys" of my feelings: a definite 'MUST-READ'!
108 internautes sur 114 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 fantastic book 21 mai 2004
Par Un client - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format:Broché
This book was written for those of us who grew up in an unhealthy environment, and had parents who controlled us in unhealthy ways. The author emphasizes working through our issues as adults, not playing "blame games." Interviews with people from all walks of life are liberally quoted throughout each chapter.
What makes this book exceptional is that the author is advocating education and change, not revenge. He shows how examining your parents' history in detail can help you heal and move forward as a fully functioning adult free to make decisions based on something else than what your parents' would say.
Controlling parents don't have to be outwardly abusive nor do they always have malevolent intentions towards their children. However, trauma stays with a person and its after-effects can be passed on to the next generation.
The author clearly contrasts unhealthy with healthy parenting and offers checklists to help the reader. He explores why people overcontrol, and he provides exercises to help the reader work through his or her feelings. Most helpfully, he reiterates that it was not the reader's fault, and it is not required that the reader change - but if he or she begins to explore that possibility, it can lead to great rewards.
132 internautes sur 145 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 A spark of hope has entered my life........ 7 janvier 2000
Par Amazon Customer - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format:Broché|Achat vérifié
This book is one of the best self help books I have read in a long time. It dealt more with the emotional than the physical abuse in childhood. I have always had a hard time because to me emotional abuse specially when mixed with religion can be so easily justified in your mind. You can feel like "something is really wrong here", but then in the same breath say "well they love me so much and are just obeying God and what he requires of parents". I have been eaten up with guilt for the rebellion against my parents that I displayed as a teenager. Now though I realize I rebelled against their control, not against them inorder to hurt them or make them miserable. I read this book, started seeing a therapist and confronted my parents and let me tell you how much freedom I feel for the first time in life. I actually feel happy, and a great sense of hope. What do I owe my parents? Why am I so fearful of hurting their feelings? Why can't I just do what is healthy for me? The book answered these questions and the exercises were wonderful. We need more books like this one because obviously there is a problem in parenting that needs to be looked at and changed fast! Kids are becoming more violent, less respectful of authority, and completely losing any conscience what-so-ever. So if I can break the generation sin that has been passed down for generations, then I am thankful I was put in the home I was put in and strong enough to SURVIVE!
35 internautes sur 36 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 This book helped me tremendously 16 mai 2004
Par Un client - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format:Broché
This is the only book that I have read regarding growing up in a painful childhood that made complete sense to me. I couldn't believe how much I related. Before I read the book, I was asking myself if I had an abusive childhood. After all, my parents were always telling me that they loved me. But, they only said it with words, never showed it with actions. I was not physically or sexually abused. I was emotionally abused and severly neglected. It all made sense to me when I realized the controlling nature of my parents fit into the abuse category. I strongly identified with this book. I realized that I was right in my feelings that I had an unhealthy childhood. This book was very validating and liberating for me and it was easy to read. It was not filled with a bunch of over-my-head language. I read this book about 5 or so years ago, I think. But, it has been an invaluable resource for me.(...)When I need more information or resources, I usually end up on his website.
42 internautes sur 45 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
3.0 étoiles sur 5 Left me in suspense 20 juillet 2011
Par J. fountain - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format:Format Kindle|Achat vérifié
This book was so hard to put down in the beginning. During the middle it brought up alot of truth about my childhood and I stopped reading it for a few days while I analyzed situations that relate to childhood and my life now. At first I thought, wow this book is going to take such a long time to read because it's so in depth. The next thing you know there were no more pages to click (kindle version). There was plenty of info on how I was raised affected my life but no steps on how to fix it only a brief reference to an employee assistance program and alcoholics anonymous. At the end it basically says you need therapy. Of course there is only so much a book can do for your life but I expected some information on how to recover from my upbringing to match the in depth information about childhood.
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