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In Real Life: Love, Lies & Identity in the Digital Age (Anglais) Broché – 2 septembre 2014


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Descriptions du produit

Revue de presse

"Nev is a great philosopher of the internet and thereby a critical voice for our generation. Whether or not you're a Catfish fan, In Real Life is a must-read and shows us the opportunities and pitfalls that are part of the digital era. Nev makes it plain and simple: the power of the keyboard is now mightier than the sword."—Matthew Segal, founder of OurTime.org

"IN REAL LIFE is so much more than a book about online dating. It's about self-acceptance and being true to yourself in a world where you're influenced by so many people over the internet."—Jonathan Bennett, host of MTV's Copycat

"What I find most exciting about IN REAL LIFE is how it explores the Internet's impact on our perception of gender and sexuality, and how we portray our digital selves to the world to that end. As a fellow millennial, I'm constantly trying to adapt to how the digital age is molding our ideas of love and relationships. In Real Life does not attempt to define these ever-changing terms but instead works to understand them."—Kim Stolz, author of Unfriending My Ex

"Finally someone has written a smart and funny guide that helps young people navigate social media without letting it take over their lives."—Maude Apatow, actress and twitter personality

"Nev's book begins as a fun journey into the world of lying on the internet, but it extrapolates into the larger phenomenon of avatars -- everybody has one on social networks."—James Franco for Vice magazine

"The book is at once a memoir, a meditation on a truly unique phenomenon of the internet age, and a motivational address for anyone seeking virtual companionship. Schulman cautions his readers against lying on their social media profiles, and argues instead for improving "offline" life. "Embrace who you really are, both online and off" is the message at the heart of his book."—Publishers Weekly

Présentation de l'éditeur

From the host of MTV's #1 show Catfish comes the definitive guide about how to connect with people authentically in today's increasingly digital world.

IN REAL LIFE: Love, Lies & Identity in the Digital Age

As the host of the wildly popular TV series Catfish which investigates online relationships to determine whether they are based on truth or fiction (spoiler: it's almost always fiction).

Nev has become the Dr. Drew of online relationships. His clout in this area springs from his own experience with a deceptive online romance, about which he made a critically acclaimed 2010 documentary (also called Catfish). In that film Nev coined the term "catfish" to refer to someone who creates a false online persona to reel someone into a romantic relationship. The meme spread rapidly.

Now Nev brings his expertise to the page, sharing insider secrets about:

-what motivates catfish
-why people fall for catfish
-how you can avoid being deceived
-rules for dating -- both online and off
-how to connect authentically with others over the internet
-how to turn an online relationship into a real-life relationship

...and much, much more.

Peppered throughout with Nev's personal stories, this book delves deeply into the complexities of online identity. Nev shows us how our digital lives are affecting our real lives, and provides essential advice about how we should all be living and loving in the era of social media.


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Détails sur le produit

  • Broché: 256 pages
  • Editeur : Grand Central Publishing (2 septembre 2014)
  • Langue : Anglais
  • ISBN-10: 1455584290
  • ISBN-13: 978-1455584291
  • Dimensions du produit: 13,3 x 1,9 x 20,3 cm
  • Moyenne des commentaires client : 5.0 étoiles sur 5  Voir tous les commentaires (1 commentaire client)
  • Classement des meilleures ventes d'Amazon: 12.713 en Livres anglais et étrangers (Voir les 100 premiers en Livres anglais et étrangers)
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Par sibneft101 sur 8 novembre 2014
Format: Broché Achat vérifié
While Nev isn't famous for his writting skills but rather for helping people online, this book proves he's a clever and very talented writer. Get a copy ASAP. You won't regret it.
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Commentaires client les plus utiles sur Amazon.com (beta)

Amazon.com: 15 commentaires
19 internautes sur 19 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
INSTANTLY HOOKED. 3 septembre 2014
Par bookworm123 - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format: Format Kindle Achat vérifié
First of all, kudos to Nev for the releasing of this really personal and interesting book. I have to admit that I didn't really know the story of Nev, at all. I'd seen a couple of Catfish episodes, but I had no idea there was such a moving story behind it all. If you're familiar with his previous work, and the TV show then you know what this is about. But I'd really like to say, that this is the perfect book for someone like me. If you've ever been catfished, or had anything similar happen to you, you MUST read this. I was instantly hooked, because since the very beginning of the introduction, I could already relate to all of it. And it just gets better and better. It really does feel like a really long, detailed and honest conversation with Nev. I could see myself in every single page, my story and his, so similar it certain ways. And I know this has happened to A LOT of people out there. Well, no wonder the show's on for its 4th season. And that is only a very little amount of people that have gone through it. You can only imagine how many more have gone through it too and are probably too embarrassed to tell anyone.

The book itself is written in a very personal way, very honest and just straightforward. I found it really hard to disengage at any point, I just kept going until I finished. After reading it, I can really say my whole point of view regarding all online relationships and our ways of communicating through social media, have completely changed. Besides from narrating his personal catfish experience, Nev really goes all out explaining how these social media online relationships work and all the basics, the do's and the dont's; But mainly, the importance of engaging in an offline relationship rather than an online relationship. It really is an eye-opener, makes you realize how much time we invest in our social media bubble, and sometimes forget about the real world out there.

After reading this book, I must say, I have real admiration for Nev Schulman. Learning about his story makes you realize that even after the roughest of paths he had to cross to get to where he is, it really is possible to get there. Even if it means stumbling upon some rocks along the way.

Long story short -- MUST READ for all of us who are way too into the social media world.
6 internautes sur 7 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
Not a huge fan of this book but still a fan of Nev 19 septembre 2014
Par Sierra K. Sorrell - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format: Format Kindle Achat vérifié
I've been a fan of Nev's work since I saw Catfish (the documentary) so when I heard that he was writing a book, I immediately planned to read it. No questions asked. I didn't care what it was about...if Nev wrote it, then it'll be interesting, right?

I didn't really know what to expect but by the title, I figured it would be a sort of thesis about online relationships--romantic and otherwise. As a happily married 30-something who has never done any online dating and uses social media strictly to keep in touch with people I actually know, I don't really have a personal stake in the topic. But I'm still interested in what he has to say on the subject because there's no doubt that social media has shaped the way we interact with the world around us. And Nev has proven himself qualified to comment on this societal change, given his personal history and current job as host of Catfish: The TV Show.

In the book, Nev mentions that we must all make responsible decisions online. He discusses a few examples of negative, mean things that people regularly do online that should avoid, including "posting a nasty book review." (I see what you did there, Mr. Schulman...) So I hope this review doesn't come across to anyone as unnecessarily critical. But...

The first thing I noticed is that he writes as he speaks. From page one, I felt like he's having a conversation with his readers...kicking back, sharing a pizza and some beers. I like that! But I quickly realized that he doesn't seem to know who he's talking to. The book is a hybrid jumble of three topics that aren't pieced together in an especially cohesive way and may even be geared toward three different audiences.

Topic 1: Some chapters read like a tell-all autobiography about his tumultuous teen years, floundering to find himself as a young adult, and how it's all impacted who he is as a person today. His fans will undoubtedly enjoy this glimpse of the man behind the chest hair but those that aren't familiar with him already may be left wondering, "Who's this guy and why does this matter?"

Topic 2: Other (far fewer) chapters read like an all-access behind-the-scenes look at the making of the documentary that spawned his career as well as a backstage pass to Catfish: The TV Show. And while I did like hearing his take on the psychology behind hopefuls and their catfish, I was a bit bored with the recap of his own catfish story. (I've seen the documentary. It's old news.)

Topic 3: The rest of the chapters, which I estimate is at least half the book, read like a self-help book geared toward those who are addicted to digital life...which, he argues, is most of us. He encourages readers to turn off their computers, put down their phones, and experience real life and real relationships. He goes on to preach about the "right" way to use the internet and even insinuates that unless you're using the internet as a platform to promote your creative pursuits, you're doing it wrong. (To this I say, without us "consumers" you and all the other "creators" on social media and elsewhere online would have no audience....just sayin'.)

Any one of these three topics would have made a compelling read if developed more fully. Personally, I would've liked to have seen him focus more on the third topic...but do it in a way that wasn't as redundant as what he delivered in this book. That said, I absolutely do want to take a moment to applaud Nev for his brutal honesty about his own mistakes and (sometimes) embarrassing decisions from his past. On page 108 he says, "Putting yourself out there— being creative— deserves support. It takes a lot of courage . Let’s reward that, instead of diminishing it." So kudos to you, sir.
1 internautes sur 1 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
Providing sense and sensibility for a digitally obsessed/addicted society 1 décembre 2014
Par Paul Allaer - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format: Broché
Nev Shulman is the guy who brought us the documentary (and later TV show) "Catfish", about an on-line romantic interest (can we even call it a relationship?) that went very, very wrong. Now that the TV show has wrapped its third season, Shulman decides to take stock of what he has learned from all those experiences, and brings us this book.

"In Real Life: Love, Lies & Identity in the Digital Age" (2014 edition; 255 pages) starts off with the infamous scene from the "Catfish" documentary when Nev is sitting in his car in Michigan, about to meet Megan. In fact, if you have seen the documentary, be prepared for a lot of rehashing of it in the book (about 45-50 pages of the book). I ended up skipping most of those pages (spread over 3 chapters called "My Catfish Story"). However, as it turns out, the rest of the book is quite informative. Did you know that Facebook admits that (at last count) some 83 million profile pages are known to be fake? Not that I am on Facebook, mind ya. (And much to our surprise, we learn that Shulman quit his Facebook page in 2012.) The overall theme of the book in fact is one that can be applied to both the digital and real life world: "The most powerful thing you can do is learn to love yourself, to embrace and accept who you really are", according to Shulman. Shulman clearly is not a fan of Facebook, moaning that it has hijacked the term "friend" from the real-life meaning and value of a friend. He also makes some great observations about people at concerts who are capturing everything on their phone and in the meantime missing out on the real experience of being at the show. Amen to that!

Towards the end of the book, we get "Nev's Rules for Social Media", an 11-pointer on how to put some sense and sensibility back into the digitally crazed and obsessed society that we have ("Rule 10: Start a No Phone at the Dinner Table rule"). This book is reminiscent of another recent book in the same vein, "Unfriending My Ex" by Kim Stolz. Given the choice, I'd readily recommend Shulman's book over Stolz's, if for no other reason that Shulman is not nearly as narcissistically focused as compared to Stolz. "In Real Life" is a fairly quick read, and I felt that I had learned a thing or two by the time I came to the end of the book. Definitely worth checking out!
A good read for anyone that's online! 24 septembre 2014
Par Megan - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format: Format Kindle
I enjoyed the parts where Nev told a bit more of his story, the events leading up to him being Catfished and why he believed the Catfish's lies. I also enjoyed hearing some of what goes on behind the scenes of the show, although there wasn't a whole lot of that. The real topic of the book was about how to present yourself on line, what to do & not do, and what to look out for in others online. Since I'm someone who tries to be careful online already, I didn't find these tips very helpful, but maybe they would be to somebody out there reading. I felt it got redundant towards the end, he had already made very good points about how to present yourself online, and almost seemed to just repeat the exact same thing in the end. Other than that I thought it was pretty good, an easy read. Good reminder to take a step back and evaluate just how much of your life is centered around the internet and being "connected" with everybody else 24/7.
Just when I needed it... 14 octobre 2014
Par MistahTea - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format: Format Kindle Achat vérifié
A very quick and conversationally written book, I decided to check this one out when I too experienced a catfish online earlier this year who was very emotionally and psychologically destructive. This book included helpful strategies to learn how to unplug and learn to enjoy life again after a bad experience. Nev's writing style is so addictive to read, it feels like you're having a long heart-to-heart talk with him over coffee. If they have an audiobook version, I might check that out as well. If you also experienced some rough patches due to an online relationship gone awry, check this out and start doing some self-care.
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