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Intimate Connections [Anglais] [Cassette]

David D. Burns

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Amazon.com: 4.1 étoiles sur 5  24 commentaires
120 internautes sur 125 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 Excellent guide for overcoming loneliness 14 août 2001
Par Kate McMurry - Publié sur Amazon.com
David D. Burns, M.D., has been a Clinical Associate Professor in the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at the Stanford University School of Medicine since 1995, the same school where he received his M.D. degree in the 1970's. From 1975 to 1995, Dr. Burns served on the clinical faculty of the University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine and served as Acting Chief of Psychiatry at the Presbyterian Medical Center of the University of Pennsylvania Health System. He has also written: Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy; The Feeling Good Handbook; and Ten Days to Self-Esteem. He teaches workshops for the public and continuing-education seminars for mental health professionals. He was recently featured in a 90-minute nationally televised PBS program on depression entitled "Feeling Good"....
Though this book is primarily directed at single people struggling to find a compatible mate, I also found it very useful, even though I am happily married, for two major reasons: (a) Loneliness. Dr. Burns believes that loneliness is not a function of who you are with, or not with, but arises out of not treating yourself well and enjoying your own company. Thus, even people who are blessed with a wonderful mate can get lonely from time to time. Dr. Burns shows you how to head off loneliness at its source by building your self-esteem through the technique of treating yourself with care and respect. People who treat themselves badly not only feel badly about themselves, they get very needy. When you are needy, you tend to become very self-centered, and other people very naturally shy away from that. Who wants to be with someone who is clinging to you out of desperation rather than unselfish, generous interest and affection? (b) Distorted Thinking. Dr. Burns says that the way we interpret the actions of the people around us affects how happy or unhappy we are--and how successful we are in getting and keeping close relationships. He provides many simple, practical suggestions for changing negative, irrational thinking so that we can prevent depression, anxiety and general misery both inside ourselves and within our relationships.
I highly recommend this insightful, practical book to people in every type of relationship situation, whether unhappily alone, unhappily together, or happily together and wanting to keep it that way. Dr. Burns's advice can help fix or prevent any relationship problems you might have.
49 internautes sur 50 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 IF YOU'RE A SHY PERSON, YOU MUST READ THIS BOOK 5 mai 2002
Par Mike S. - Publié sur Amazon.com
This book changed the way I thought about myself. I will never be the same again. There are so many helpful things in this book that I can't list them all, but what helped me the most was the realization that I am not a freak. Sounds simple, but I believed that I was, ever since high school. Now I know that I am completly normal, and life is full of possibilities. If you are afraid of people, think that your coworkers are thinking bad thoughts about you, can't even approach someone of the opposite sex, or are just shy, you need to get this book. You don't have to stay stuck where you are. Don't let life pass you by.
22 internautes sur 22 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
4.0 étoiles sur 5 Good book with psychological background 30 juin 2002
Par Andreas Fellner - Publié sur Amazon.com
This book is intended for shy and lonely individuals. It focuses on the psychological background of loneliness, shyness and how to make connections with other people. Other aspects of flirting and dating are mentioned (e.g. how to dress, how to initiate a conversation), but not after the reader is familiar with his often distorted thinking processes.
The message is clear: first, you have to really love and accept yourself. Then, you can proceed to getting to know other people more intimately. The book also deals with the not so pleasant aspects of relationships: rejections and fears. Lots of exercises show the reader how to deal with these and other problems.
By and large, a recommendable book!
48 internautes sur 55 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 I did what the book told me and my love-life took off. 10 septembre 1999
Par Un client - Publié sur Amazon.com
Until several years ago I was relatively shy, and bounced form relationship to relationship. I had a hard time meeting people I liked. The people I did go out with wasted my time.
Then I read this book and did exactly what it said. After several months following the steps in the book, my love-life took off like a flaming rocket. I went out with a different girl every week. I have since gone on to marry, and I enjoy a great relationship with my wife.
Look, I'm not selling the book, but it is one of the texts that have changed my life. If you actually do what the book says, your love-life will change for the better also. I've seen the love-lifes of a couple of friends that I reccomended the book to take off as well.
44 internautes sur 51 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
4.0 étoiles sur 5 Good advice but do not take it to the extreme. 25 mai 2000
Par L. Troy Beals - Publié sur Amazon.com
This book details some of the ways a person can overcome problems in finding meaningful relationships. For example, if you are shy, Burns has you do activities that involve you interacting with people. He teaches you how to flirt. His advice is often common sense, for example if you don't bathe or comb your hair very often he tells you to bathe and comb every day. Burns also teaches you ways to set your expectations at realistic levels in order to minimize painful emotional episodes, for example I'm not going to try to date Christie Brinkley, she's "out of my league", so I'm not hurt that she doesn't want to date me. (That's just an example, I do not know her personally, nor have ever asked her out). The only problem with this book is that at times it focuses on shallower aspects of relationships, like flirting, and appearance and gives the reader the impression that he views these aspects as more important. I believe Dr. Burns meant this book to be a basic level guide to relationships, meaning, that he has you concentrate on shallower aspects of relationships in hopes that it will be easier for you to develop more meaningful relationships. The reader should take from this book what he/she needs and drop the rest. For example, I had no problem flirting, so I ignored his pages on that and focused on a couple of other items that he addressed.
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