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Love Illuminated: Exploring Life's Most Mystifying Subject (with the Help of 50,000 Strangers)
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Love Illuminated: Exploring Life's Most Mystifying Subject (with the Help of 50,000 Strangers) [Format Kindle]

Daniel Jones

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Descriptions du produit

Revue de presse

“A provocative, insightful, and deeply humane meditation on ‘life’s most mystifying subject’... Jones ... proves an exceptional guide -- droll, compassionate, nonjudgmental -- through all of love’s many phases.” (Elle)

Présentation de l'éditeur

From the editor of the New York Times' popular "Modern Love" column, the story of love from beginning to end (or not).

Love. We want it. We need it. We pay it homage with songs and poems and great works of art. And when we lose it, there's no pain as intense or excruciating. For centuries we've been trying to figure it out, control it, or just get better at it. As the editor of a column about love for the New York Times, Daniel Jones reads thousands of stories about people's intimate relationships—the ones that soar, crash, or hum along, from the bizarre to the supposedly “normal.” It's possible that he's read more true love stories than anyone on earth. In Love Illuminated, he teases apart this mystifying emotion that thrills, crushes, and sustains.

Drawing from the 50,000 stories that have crossed his desk over the past decade, Jones explores ten aspects of love—pursuit, destiny, vulnerability, connection, trust, practicality, monotony, infidelity, loyalty, and wisdom—and creates a lively, funny and enlightening journey through this universal human experience that jangles the head and stirs the heart. 

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Commentaires client les plus utiles sur (beta) 3.9 étoiles sur 5  37 commentaires
13 internautes sur 13 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 A compassionate, insightful & funny read on modern love and its untidy beauty 5 février 2014
Par Dr Ali Binazir - Publié sur
Format:Relié|Achat vérifié
"A man who has read letters about love from 50,000 people must have some brilliant insights on the topic," was my thought as I ordered this book without knowing anything about it other than the NY Times `Modern Love' column my friend had forwarded to me. Luckily, it was a decent gamble: I enjoyed "Love Illuminated" and learned much from it.

Jones covers the full spectrum of relationships via 9 chapters: pursuit, destiny, vulnerability, connection, trust, practicality, monotony, infidelity, loyalty, and wisdom. His treatment of the topics is consistently lighthearted and even funny, never soap-box preachy. I broke out into FVG (full-volume guffaw) at least 3 times (LOL ain't what it used to be).

He approaches the topics descriptively rather than prescriptively, befitting his role as reporter rather than licensed therapist (for relevant books by professionals, I would recommend Dr Gordon Livingston's How to Love and Dr John Gottman's indispensable The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work). Jones presents the full taxonomy of possibilities for a given challenge and then presents you with the pluses and minuses for each, allowing you to decide what works. For example, to preserve individuality in your marriage, you can get separate houses, get an office spouse, or have an open marriage. (There are similar lists for handling monotony, and deciding upon your married last name.) He then illustrates each outcome with case histories from readers' letters, which are the most fun part of the book.

His observations on online dating and its perils are particularly dead-on. About lying in online profiles: "Many online daters view this kind of low-grade lying as being like doping in professional sports: i.e., the practice is so pervasive that you can't possibly expect to compete if you don't do it." Particularly insightful is his suggestion that isolating yourself with just a few like-minded folks - e.g. a monthlong kayak trip or a Peace Corps jaunt - might work a lot better for meeting a match than the usual advice to go out and meet tons of people.

Jones is exceptionally clear-eyed on two other controversial topics besides: the inevitable monotony that settles into long-term relationships, and infidelity. It's easy to lapse into ideology or tired quasi-scientific tropes on these topics; instead he reports on what happens in real life to real people.

All of that, plus the destiny effect, arranged marriages, guru matchmakers and booty grazing: these are some of the new and amusing things I read about in this lighthearted, compassionate and insightful book. If you're a human who's interested love and its inner workings (that would be all of us), something in this book is bound to speak to your directly while making you giggle in the process.
-- Ali Binazir, MD, author of The Tao of Dating, the #1-rated dating book on Amazon for 157 weeks
6 internautes sur 6 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 the information age love formula 11 février 2014
Par Dr. Wilson Trivino - Publié sur
Daniels Jones has been described as the “Carrie Bradshaw” of The New York Times where he has a love column. By his own account he believes he has reviewed over 50,000 love stories of individuals who have shared their love stories.
In Love Illuminated: Exploring Life’s Most Mystifying Subject (with the Help of 50,000 Strangers) Jones does a good review of “love”. What works, what doesn’t, and even shares how he found love.
Jones is full of anecdotal evidence that to find love you got to be open to love. He has a helpful quiz, review questions, and even ventures to virtual love. With so much social media at our finger tips it opens the possibilities to a bigger love pool. In the end, love is a mystery, but part of the joy of love is the journey.
He also writes about the convenience of social media and some fall into the Soul Mate in A Box syndrome where you can have emotional intimacy without the complexity of physical chemistry.
Simply love and read Love Illuminated: Exploring Life’s Most Mystifying Subject (with the Help of 50,000 Strangers) by Daniel Jones for a quick view of modern love.
5 internautes sur 5 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 Like a historian with a robust archive of primary sources 5 février 2014
Par Haig - Publié sur
I get why this book is called Love Illuminated. The author really is enlightened on the subject, with the help of 50,000 writers. Jones sheds light on the most fundamental human emotion by breaking it down into ten chapters, like ten phases of romance. As the editor of the NY Times Modern Love column, he's in a prime position to chronicle, for example, how technologies like Facebook and Skype influence the development--and demise--of love relationships. And he doesn't disappoint when he delves into infidelity, the juiciest part of the book. He's like a historian with a robust archive of primary sources. And his analysis feels surprisingly objective. Recommended for everyone lucky or unlucky in love!
3 internautes sur 3 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 Enjoyable, unassuming, transparent, and often quite funny. 12 mars 2014
Par rjh - Publié sur
Format:Relié|Achat vérifié
Daniel Jones has given us one of the most enjoyable transparent texts on the subject, without being overly Psychoanalytic, Anthropologic, faith-based, or, thank God, Leo Buscaglia-ish. With his unassuming almost self-deprecating POV, and correspondence from 50,000 contributing readers, he helps his readers navigate the traditional as well as the modern scenarios that we are forever prone to entangle ourselves in as we struggle to find intimacy. A rare book on the topic that men will enjoy, not unlike spending an evening with an old friend who has become very knowledgeable on the topic of love. I wish I'd read it when I was twenty-five.
3 internautes sur 3 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 A smart contemplation of the mysteries of love 4 février 2014
Par Isabelle Forbes - Publié sur
Format:Format Kindle|Achat vérifié
A devoted reader of Modern Love, I am always inspired by the unusual love stories Daniel Jones publishes in his column. Contemplating his own life experience and the thousands of strangers' stories he has read as an editor, Jones gives us "Love Illuminated," an examination of different aspects of love, from the chase to staying together to coming apart. Unlike so many books on the subject, "Love Illuminated" does not reduce love into a list of instructions on how to find your mate or stay married. Instead, the book elucidates wildly different experiences of love, all of which lead to revelations about the self, if not always the fairytale ending. Full of wisdom, this is a worthwhile read for anyone interested in the maddeningly complicated subject of relationships.
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