A friend pressed this into my hands the other day. "You liked Sailor Moon as a kid, right?" she asked. "You have to read this. It's killer."
As soon as I finished I called her up and said if she ever pulled a stunt like that again, I'd tear her arms off. But I don't think she heard me over the sound of her own maniacal laughter.
Mona Lisa (no last name, apparently, like her creator) is an ER nurse working in Manhattan. She's had a Tragic Childhood -- abandoned as an infant, the only identifying artifact a silver cross around her newborn neck with her name inscribed on it. She's been bounced around foster homes for most of her life, and is now alone the world at the tender age of twenty-one. She informs us right away that sickness "calls to her," and is working the rounds at St. Vincent's when an astonishingly handsome patient exerts some juju on her, calling her attention to the fact that not only is he awfully pretty, but he has powers similar to her own. (More on that later.) Sashaying up to the fellow, he promptly informs her that she is a Monere, though a "Mixed Blood," and feels like one of their Queens to boot. The Monere, he tells her, are a special race of creatures with magical abilities that once lived on the moon and have now retreated to Earth in territories ruled by different Queens. His own Queen stabbed him with a silver blade, which is poison to the Monere and doomed him to a slow death unless he can attain the help of another Queen. (We're just reached p.12, by the way.)
You think we're in bad fanfic territory already? We've only just begun.
But as much as my friend wanted me to associate systematic rapes and sexual healing (again, more on that later) with my childhood heroine, this book reminded me much more strongly of Anne Bishop's Black Jewels Trilogy. Other reviewers have noted the similarity, including Romantic Times. Of course, though matriarchal societies built on a sexual power structure are reminiscent of Bishop, she doesn't have a patent on them. But when the author introduces Prince Halcyon, the son of the King of Hell with a penchant for white shirts and black trousers, who wears his nails long, is "demon dead" and drinks blood (not characteristic of the original, but Bishop's exact concept AND terminology), and I start calling him "Daemon Sadi 2.0" in my head, you have to wonder if the homage is being taken a little far.
But even without obvious borrowing from other authors, the book isn't very good. Mona Lisa is the Sue-iest Sue I've seen. She can already withstand silver and walk in daylight because of her human blood, unlike other "Moonies." As for her other talents, she tells Gryphon: "I can see through the darkness and hear for miles around me... My sense of smell is acute. I am fast like a cat, strong as a lion. With effort, I can control people's minds with my gaze... I can detect ailments within the body and, to a small degree, ease some of the pain, but I have yet to obtain the ability to heal." (p.33-34) And don't worry, gentle readers, she will. Through sex. She'll also have learned to call silver, demonstrate her abilities in "street fighting and a hodgepodge of other disciplines," bear the Goddesses Tears (which haven't been seen in generations), and be able to transmit her tolerances to those who follow her. Again through sex. She's practically perfect in every way -- oh, except she's a trifle lacking in the bosom department. Quelle horreur.
And hey, Mary Sue-type characters can be fun -- especially those this shameless. But the prose fails to back it up. Mona Lisa's narration and dialogue switches between a stilted, almost archaic diction and a more laid-back slang, and the incongruity threw me right out of the story time and time again. Even worse was when the two were blended -- my favorite phrase is when Mona Lisa comments a character "creeped [her] out most ardently."
Add to all this cardboard characters, wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am love interests, and half-baked world building... it's hard to grade something like this, because how to you determine the reading worth of mindless fluff? But sorry, can't bring myself to give it more than one star.
