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Mothers Who Can't Love: A Healing Guide for Daughters [Format Kindle]

Susan Forward , Donna Frazier Glynn
4.0 étoiles sur 5  Voir tous les commentaires (1 commentaire client)

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Descriptions du produit

Revue de presse

“Forward validates the reader’s feelings and presents effective coping mechanisms, offering suggestions on setting boundaries, negotiating for a better relationship, [and] being assertive . . . Highly recommended.” (Library Journal (starred review))

“A useful challenge to accepted wisdom about the normally taboo subject of mother love, with helpful tips on how to jump-start the healing process.” (Kirkus Reviews)

“Once again Susan Forward has identified an important issue that has been calling out for her expertise and unique perspective. This landmark book is powerful, accessible and extremely supportive - just what women need! Her case examples are riveting, her techniques are brilliant and her wisdom is poignant.” (Beverly Engel, author of Healing Your Emotional Self and The Nice Girl Syndrome)

“A riveting, compassionate guide to helping women transcend the wounds inflicted by their rejecting or abusive mothers.” (Janis Abrahms Spring, Ph.D., author of How Can I Forgive You? The Courage to Forgive, The Freedom Not To)

“Susan Forward has saved millions of lives with her profound wisdom that children raised by abusive parents need not “forgive and forget” to heal and move on to happy, healthy lives. . . . A powerful guide to self healing.” (Carole H. Brower, Research Professor, Semel Institute for Neuroscience and Human Behavior, UCLA)

“I know so many women who will feel enormously grateful for Mothers Who Can’t Love, and rightly so. This thoughtful and thorough book will validate their feelings and their stories, and even more important will offer invaluable and empowering wisdom.” (Mira Kirshenbaum, author of I Love You but I Don't Trust You and Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay)

Présentation de l'éditeur

With Mothers Who Can't Love: A Healing Guide for Daughters, Susan Forward, Ph.D., author of the smash #1 bestseller Toxic Parents, offers a powerful look at the devastating impact unloving mothers have on their daughters—and provides clear, effective techniques for overcoming that painful legacy.

In more than 35 years as a therapist, Forward has worked with large numbers of women struggling to escape the emotional damage inflicted by the women who raised them. Subjected to years of criticism, competition, role-reversal, smothering control, emotional neglect and abuse, these women are plagued by anxiety and depression, relationship problems, lack of confidence and difficulties with trust. They doubt their worth, and even their ability to love.

Forward examines the Narcissistic Mother, the Competitive Mother, the Overly Enmeshed mother, the Control Freak, Mothers who need Mothering, and mothers who abuse or fail to protect their daughters from abuse. 

Filled with compelling case histories, Mothers Who Can’t Love outlines the self-help techniques Forward has developed to transform the lives of her clients, showing women how to overcome the pain of childhood and how to act in their own best interests. 

Warm and compassionate, Mothers Who Can’t Love offers daughters the emotional support and tools they need to heal themselves and rebuild their confidence and self-respect.

Détails sur le produit

  • Format : Format Kindle
  • Taille du fichier : 675 KB
  • Nombre de pages de l'édition imprimée : 309 pages
  • Editeur : Harper; Édition : Reprint (1 octobre 2013)
  • Vendu par : Amazon Media EU S.à r.l.
  • Langue : Anglais
  • Synthèse vocale : Activée
  • X-Ray :
  • Word Wise: Non activé
  • Composition améliorée: Non activé
  • Moyenne des commentaires client : 4.0 étoiles sur 5  Voir tous les commentaires (1 commentaire client)
  • Classement des meilleures ventes d'Amazon: n°111.520 dans la Boutique Kindle (Voir le Top 100 dans la Boutique Kindle)
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Commentaires en ligne

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Commentaires client les plus utiles
4.0 étoiles sur 5 Useful if you wonder what to do with the damage 27 novembre 2014
Par Gabriele
Format:Broché|Achat vérifié
What to do with the damage? How to grow out and realize your OWN life? There are tools given in this book that
may save lifes. Breaking the spell of a toxic mother (and of a toxic parent in general) requires being accompanied,
beeing true, break the 'poor' parent excuses. In this book Susan Forward accompanies the adult daughter with tenderness and empathy for the lost child within her!
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Commentaires client les plus utiles sur Amazon.com (beta)
Amazon.com: 4.7 étoiles sur 5  119 commentaires
256 internautes sur 261 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 The Validation I needed 14 octobre 2013
Par Catherine - Publié sur Amazon.com
I always seem to be a good candidate for Susan's books. I've read Emotional Blackmail, Toxic In-Laws, and I've already had the chance to skim over Toxic Parents. I was so impatient for this book: Mothers Who Can't Love to come out. How thoroughly relieving that someone dares to challenge the world's greatest taboo: Unloving Mothers. I was born to a woman who should have never been allowed to be a mother. Since cutting off my ties with my mother, I have been urged to reconcile and have been criticized with every line possible. I've heard the "she gave you life" and "honour thy mother". I've been told to try to understand her because of lack of education. I've been told to suck it up because everyone knew how she was. Susan lists all these cliches. The queen mother of all criticism and threats is: "I hope when you have kids, they will not do this to you." Susan understands how hard it is to come to terms with not having a loving mother and how it's even harder to defend your decision from the innumerable people who do not accept it.

The first part of her book addresses the many faces of an unloving mother. Mine was the narcissistic mother. Sometimes she could be downright psychotic and abusive. For me however when you have been hit enough, it's only a sheer irritation that my mother thought she could scare me with a belt. Susan gave me such clarity and validation with this section. I was always so confused as to why my mother could occasionally be loving and why everything went down the drain when I found my soulmate. These kinds of mothers don't mind you as long as you do what she wants you to do, as long as she has control over you, and most of all-- as long as you don't become a woman. I no longer feel threatened when my relatives try to remind me of the good times I had with my mother. In a lot of ways, I was no more than a piece of property to her. I was deprived and pruned so that I could one day be given away like property then people would see how amazing and strict she was. Thus, she would gain other people's fear and respect. That was her ambition all along and it didn't sit well with her that I refused to be treated like a trophy. My world came crashing down when I realized her need for fear and respect from a bunch of faceless people meant more to her than my life and happiness. She had no qualms about trying to break me, thinking I would eventually capitulate. Like many unloving mothers, she wreaked havoc on my conscience. I felt horrible for not obeying her commands. I felt so guilty whenever she reminded me of all she did for me. Like many daughters of unloving mothers, you break in another way be it physical illness or in my case: depression.

This book also made me aware of how every experience with an unloving mother will mold the way you go through life. I've been on the receiving end of my mother saying: "I wish you were never born" and "You should have died a long time ago"-- all in the same breath. However, her destruction did not start when I fell from grace. The tendency to feel responsible for other people's happiness, feeling guilty if you don't comply with other people's wishes, and chasing approval all steams from how your mother raised you. It was such a shock for me to read that love does not have to be earned. I still remember my bridesmaids' speech during my wedding. They called me loving. They said they loved me. I was speechless and felt that I didn't deserve it. Sure I love my husband but I never expected much of it back. How bizarre it was for me when he was always there for me and took care of me without a second thought. How bizarre it was for me when a friend pointed out that my husband loves me more than how other husbands love their wives.

All of these scars and self-punishment were from the way my mother programmed me from birth. No, I will never have a loving mother but that is okay. The notion of the Loving Mother is bade farewell in Susan's book. I learned to say that it's okay. Moreover, I can be a loving mother to myself. And just because I never received the nurture I needed, it doesn't mean that I can't be a loving mother when I have children.

Most importantly, my rights are spelled out. I no longer need to feel guilty. It was my right to live my life the way I wanted. It is MY choice whether I want to have my mother in my life. If I am ever urged or criticized again to have my mother in my life, that person will be on the receiving end of some very good non-defensive communication.
61 internautes sur 62 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 Mothers Who Can't Love 4 décembre 2013
Par Haxie - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format:Relié|Achat vérifié
This book is truly about SURVIVAL for those of us who grew up as a hostage in this kind of home life. Some reviewers have pinged this book for spelling/grammatical errors, and I concede that is true; however, the true meat of the book is in the insights and background that give a basis for beginning to understand someone who is otherwise not understandable, as well as pointing out which patterns are in fact abusive. Doesn't excuse what was done; just makes it less alien and gives hope for healing the damage. Even just RECOGNIZING that damage really did happen is huge; my experience was that the so-called "helping agencies" (the court system, counselors, authors of pop psych books, doctors, friends and family's perception) did NOT help, but in fact increased the damage by taking the easy way out and telling me it was "all in my head" and "she couldn't have done that." This book has had a huge impact on my life already, and I will undoubtedly re-read it many times. I cannot overstate how helpful this book has been to me.
32 internautes sur 34 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
4.0 étoiles sur 5 Where was this book when I needed it ? 17 février 2014
Par LV - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format:Format Kindle|Achat vérifié
Or... Better Late than Never !

My mother was not a bad person; however, I believe that she didn't know any better possibly because she was raised by a toxic mother herself.

I was an only child and a "daddy's girl." Unfortunately my father died shortly after my seventh birthday. His family (he was one of eight) had nothing to do with us after his death and, since mom was also an only child, we didn't have any family except great aunts and uncles. We belonged to our local church where we were very active; but mom didn't have any close friends. I was treated very kindly by the people in the church and, in a way, they became my family (sort of). Appearances were always very important to mom. I knew that something was wrong but I didn't know what. There was no one to talk to (and I was shy). No one ever picked up on my problem and I, because of my youth and inexperience, thought that I was bad for even thinking that something was wrong. For years I tried to make mom happy because she constantly reminded me that "You're all that I've got !" She was jealous of both my relationships and of my sucesses in life.

I've been in and out of therapies. At the very first time (in my twenties), the doctor suggested that I was overreacting ! About twenty years ago I read Susan Forward's first book, "Toxic Parents" and it was truly an eye opener.

Now I'm in my mid-60's. I can't help but think how my life might have been different if I had access to Ms. Forward's books in my twenties or younger.

If you are going through ANYTHING like what I went through buy this book or "Toxic Parents." It could be a Lifesaver !

PS - I only gave the book four stars because I haven't finished it yet... Read it slowly so it sinks in.
33 internautes sur 36 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 Susan Forward has done it again. 4 octobre 2013
Par Carolee - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format:Relié|Achat vérifié
Dr. Forward has her hand on the pulse of issues that real people encounter in their lives. She knows how to say it in a way that helps the reader, who is desperate to have her issues assessed, make changes to improve her life and those around her. I MUST read for every woman whose "little girl"suffered at the hand of a mother who didn't /couldn't do any better.
50 internautes sur 57 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 Powerful book for healing the wounds inflicted by unloving mothering 6 décembre 2013
Par Robyn Jamison - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format:Format Kindle|Achat vérifié
I'm adding this to my short list of the most impactful books I've ever read. When Susan Forward described the experience of being mothered by a mother "who can't love," I was blown away. I felt as though she had been spying on my mother and me when I was a child. I came away from this book with a huge sense of relief that came from knowing that my perceptions were trustworthy despite the fact that they were never validated during my childhood.

By doing the exercises provided in this book, I gained a deepened level of completion with the past and freedom to be myself unencumbered by the limits I had imposed on myself as a result of my treatment by my mother.

I consider this book is a must-read for any woman who has felt unloved by her mother; it offers the information and tools necessary to gain clarity and put an end to the suffering.
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