Neurosis & Human Growth - The Struggle Toward Self-Realization Rev (Anglais) Broché – 11 septembre 1991
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WHATEVER the conditions under which a child grows up, he will, if not mentally defective, learn to cope with others in one way or another and he will probably acquire some skills. Lire la première page
Couverture | Copyright | Table des matières | Extrait | Index | Quatrième de couverture
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Karen part du principe que pour se protéger dans l'enfance on s'est forgé un modèle qui désormais nous étouffe. On reconnait ce comportement car on est "In search of glory", de quelque façon que ce soit (sainteté, virilité, richesse.....).
On devient fier d'un comportement aberrant que les autres ne comprennent pas. Devant la statue de ce qu'on devrait être on oscille entre un état survolté et un découragement. L'aliénation du Moi qui en résulte ne laisse plus la place à des choix authentiques; on est en permanence dans la compulsion.
Quoi faire pour en sortir (dans le cas ou on ne souhaite pas voir un psy)? Selon KH il faut:
- connaitre ces travers et leur mécanismes (c'est le but du livre d'informer)
- les reconnaitre dans les actes de votre vie quotidienne (ce qui suppose un travail personnel).
En principe, le bug démasqué s'enfuit automatiquement de votre psyché.
On a finalement affaire à un livre de développement personnel. Il s'agit de développement personnel très haut de gamme. Rien à voir avec la plupart des ouvrages de ce genre de littérature où abondent des conseils séduisants mais à la portée opérationnelle extrêmement limitée.
A lire, ou plutôt à étudier, si vous sentez un problème et que vous voulez vraiment vous en débarrasser....
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A person, given the chance, will develop his own feelings, thoughts, wishes, interests and potentialities. He will draw on his own resources, skills, will-power, discipline and he will develop his special abilities and unique gifts. In short, he will grow, substantially undiverted, towards what Karen Horney calls self-realization.
But through a variety of adverse influences, a child, or even an adult, may not be permitted to grow according to his individual needs and possibilities. A persistently hostile environment of people around him, especially during childhood, that are dominating, overindulgent, erratic, partial to others, hypocritical, indifferent, etc., might kill off the ability to grow and become one's real self. As a result the person, does not develop a feeling of belonging of "we", but instead develops a profound insecurity, lack of self-confidence and vague apprehensiveness, which Karen Horney refers to as basic anxieties.
The person tries to resolve the anxiety by either moving away from people (aloofness, isolation), or against people (rebelling) or moving towards people (submission and compliance). In a healthy individual, these coping trends are present and used in varying degrees depending on the situation. But in a neurotic person, these trends become very rigid and contradictory. Eventually, one of the trends will become a dominant trend, and it will become a predominant trait in the person's personality. It is destructive in that it chokes off much of the other parts of a persons personality and impedes growth.
This dominant coping trend is an artificial attempt at a solution, and it will fail. But to a person suffering from a neurosis, the trend will appear to work and even become intensified. With large parts of the person's personality undeveloped and even unavailable, the person in grips of a neurosis will then gradually become alienated from his real self. The alienation from the real self will subsequently be followed and replaced by the image of the idealized-self. The person will not see themselves as they are, but instead will see the idealized-image of themselves-the way they wished they were. The energies driving toward self-realization are then shifted to the aim of actualizing the idealized self. This shift means no more and no less than a change in the course of the individual's whole life and development.
A healthy person will see himself as he is and strive to grow and improve. A neurotic person, however, will see himself as an idealized image. Alienated from his real self, he will no longer have authentic feelings, emotions and ambitions. Instead he will feel what he thinks he should feel according to his idealized self, he will react to others the way he thinks they expect him to react from the perspective of his idealized self.
Ultimately, the neurotic person will fail to live up to his idealized-self. The discrepancy between what he really is and how he sees himself in the idealized image will emerge and it will be a constant source of conflict. Because his idealized image of himself is one of perfection, there is no way for him to measure up. What will then follow is unconscious self-hate and self-contempt.
The person will unconsciously be at war with his real self. Compulsive eating, and many other compulsive disorders, anxieties, despair, inertia and even suicide are often manifestations of unconscious self-hate. The person doesn't realize what is happening, but he is in the grips of a deepening neurosis. He is unconsciously at war with himself.
Karen Horney describes in detail the behavior and personality traits that develop in a neurosis. She explains how it develops and why it is so destructive to the real self. Understanding of one's neurosis is a key development for anyone in the grips of a neurosis, but it is not a cure. She makes it clear, the cure is a process that has to be worked upon with real effort, but knowledge and understanding are the starting point.
This book is breath taking. It is one of the most important books I have ever read.
So, if you're serious about a serious read, this one is for you.
The individual suffering from neurosis is in conflict. The conflict is between the real self and the idealized self, a self that a neurotic creates as a way to deal with himself and others. Ultimately if an individual is to overcome their neurosis they must come to terms with the idealized self and accept their real self with love and compassion. Horney not only expalins her theory of neurosis but also describes the therapeutic process that a neurotic person must go through to heal, self-realization.
Horney a Neo-Freudian, also compares her theory of neurosis to Freud's theory effectively. In the end she advocates the optimism of her philosophy overs Freud's pessimism. The optimism that Horney advocates is self-realization.
As a student of psychotherapy and patient I found this book to be very valuable. This book and Carl Rogers' book "On Becoming a Person" have positively effected me both as a student and patient. I highly recommend this book to all students of psychotherapy and to any individual who is interested in neurosis or anyone on their path to self-realization.
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