Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office: 101 Unconscious Mistakes Women Make That Sabotage Their Careers (Anglais) Relié – 11 février 2004
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"Every page of this book is filled with something you or one of your friends do every day...A simple, quick guide to presenting ourselves as the strong and bold women we are." --Gail Evans, author of She Wins, You Win and Play Like a Man, Win Like a Woman --Ce texte fait référence à une édition épuisée ou non disponible de ce titre.
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Le livre commence par une évaluation suivant différents axes de notre comportement au travail. Cette première partie permet alors de diriger le lecteur vers la ou les sections qui l'intéressent le plus, en terme de modification de comportement dans le monde professionnel. Ces différentes parties foisonnent d'exemples et de cas vécus et permettent de mettre en place au cours de semaines et de mois une nouvelle approche du travail étape par étape (apprendre à dire non, affirmer et non questionner, respecter et faire respecter ses horaires, etc.).
Bref, un must absolu !
That's exactly what this book is about. It will show you very accurately what are the behaviors specific to women that they do and that explain why they don't succeed. This book literally liberated me from the thought that I would never reach my goal because I am dominated by men. No, most of the time, as the author explains, it is a problem of communication, presentation, visibility etc. Those are problems that you can fix, those are behaviors that you can absolutely change, and believing that you are dominated will only make you accept this state. But if you apply what she advises in this book, you will see that most of the things you need to succeed, you can do, and it is absolutely not dependent on your gender.Lire la suite ›
we should read again and again
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Replete with examples from Ms. Frankel's consulting clients, this book gives practical, no-holds-barred evaluations of such behaviours as feeding people at the office, working too hard, asking questions instead of making statements, and "asking permission." That last was a revelation to me.
As Ms. Frankel points out, we are all raised in a society that says you should get proper approvals before taking a step---any step. But men learn when to ask and when to just go ahead. Men learn how to apply the rubric "It's easier to get forgiveness than to get permission." Ms. Frankel pointes out that children, not adults, ask for permission to do perfectly rational things. I had never considered how detrimental to my career the habit of asking permission had been. But I decided to give Ms. Frankel's suggestions a try. I went to my boss and said, "I cannot come in on Friday." My boss looked nonplussed. I was petrified, but proud. I had done it. I had Made A Statement instead of Seeking Approval. And he didn't demur. He said, "Okay," and we went on with the day.
If you are feeling frustrated by the glass ceiling, if you feel stuck and can't figure out why you can't get further in your career ambitions (and if you're a female), this book is definitely worth the investment. It opened my eyes to things I did that I never even thought about, things that presented an image of an incompetent child---not a competent, composed, and capable woman. My image is now improving, and yours can too.
Frankel presumes most women grew up in a home that oppresses women from growing up into full adults. What may have been true for 1954 is not as true today. However, her challenge is still with merit, and in 2004, it crosses the gender barrier. e men should be taking notes from Frankel. There are plenty of little boys among us who need to work as men.
"Rosie the Riveter" ads during WWII encouraged women into the workplace, but often as factory and shipyard works. There was no "Annie the Accountant" or "Sally the CEO" campaigns. Being all you can be means being more than you were as a child. Frankel helps show how women can be more than little girls in the office place, and garner success as a result.
It is important to note that as much as this is an important book for women who esteem to be seen as professional should read, men also should read it. Not every man has reached his potential, and some fall to the same problems, in a masculine variation, as do some women. Fear, exhibited through the lack of initiative and an overborne, unnecessary kindness, holds many people back.
Objective, straightforwardness is much of what Frankel asserts.
Being professional doesn't mean you need to convert into a stomping intimidator, but it does mean being firm, not wincing when rejection is forthcoming, and thinking about more than immediate relationships. It is about getting the job done well, in concert with others, but never becoming weak while doing it all. You have expertise. You have training. You have what it takes.
Although Frankel is a professional coach, her book itself shows a coach is not needed. You need to be in control of your career, without worrying about the next person. Retain your ethics, your integrity and your aplomb, but it is your job to lead the way through your professional life. No parents, no coach, no friends are responsible for this.
I fully recommend "Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office: 101 Unconscious Mistakes Women Make That Sabotage Their Careers"
by Lois P. Frankel. Follow it up with the classic Dale Carnegie book, "How To Win Friends And Influence People," to learn the other side of the professional relationship balance.
The book is organized in a very structured manner. It contains the 101 mistakes, grouped into seven categories:
- How You Play the Game
- How You Act
- How You Think
- How You Brand and Market Yourself
- How You Sound
- How You Look
- How You Respond
At the beginning of the book, you are given an opportunity to take a self-assessment to determine which of these areas you are the strongest in, and where you have opportunities for improvement. That way, you can jump directly to the section where you received the lowest score and begin working from there.
Each of the 101 mistakes is described with specific examples, and followed by a list of suggestions and action items for how you can improve in this particular area. As you go down the list, you can mark the items that you want to work on to make it easy to create an action plan for improvement.
Overall, the style of the book is very direct and frank. The author has many years of career counseling experience, and it shows. She does not mince words in showing you ways in which you sabotage yourself and your success, and gives specific and actionable steps to overcome these limitations. The author also provides a number of reference materials for "further reading", so that if you have an interest in doing further work in a particular area, you can go to these books for more detailed help and strategies.
While I was skeptical at first about how much value I would get out of this book, I was pleasantly surprised to find a few things that I had not considered before. It was also helpful to read a number of things that I already knew I wanted to improve. The specific action items following each mistake are a great way to go from knowing where your limitations are to taking immediate steps to improve them. Having finished the book, I found myself going back and taking notes on the items that I wanted to work on. I now have a fairly comprehensive list of things that I want to tackle, and I'll be able to focus on them one at a time.
Although I really appreciated the value provided by this book, I was also turned off by a few things. As a woman in my late twenties, I felt that a lot of the language in this book smacked of 70s-era feminism. The book also feeds on a lot of women's insecurities, as if being a woman in itself puts you at an unfair disadvantage. I believe that there is a lot to say for the power of femininity, and frankly, advice like "your hair should get increasingly shorter as you get older" is plain ludicrous. (According to this logic, women in their 90s would need to all but shave their heads.) This brings to mind the unflattering images of 80s-era professional manners with masculine haircuts and man-suits. In addition to the feminist message, the tone of the book often came across as somewhat "stuffy" and I had to double-check a couple of times that this book was actually published in the 21st century and not in 1987.
While the tone of the book prevented me from enjoying it as much as I could have (which is why I did not give it five stars), the advice it delivers is definitely sound and on target, and therefore I would recommend it to any woman interested in building a successful career in business.
Frankel does point out some behavioral tics that women would do well to ditch, like the infamous framing of statements as questions. But she goes far beyond that to advocate what is essentially a complete overhaul of behavior, appearance, speech, body language, office decor and relationship style. Women are urged to act in ways that feel unnatural all day, every work day. I don't think even Meryl Streep could keep that up for long. Work is inherently stressful and exhausting enough without pretending to be something you're not 50 hours a week.
Frankel encourages women to think that to be female is to be inherently flawed. Freud must be smiling, wherever he is.
Maybe to some women the pursuit of "the corner office" or however they define outward success is worth sacrificing their personhood, but I question the assumption that male behavior is the normative standard to which women must conform---or fail. The corporate and political worlds have historically been dominated by supposedly male traits of aggression, competitiveness and "winner take all" (I doubt, by the way, whether men as a group consistently display those traits), and look where that's gotten us--Enron, obscene executive compensation at the expense of other employees, falling middle class wages, growing disparity between wealth and poverty, foreign policy debacles. I think women should be trying to improve the organizations of which they are a part instead of slavishly copying male behavior that has proved dysfunctional. Let's face it---a man is going to "outman" a woman every time.
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