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Notes from a Friend: A Quick and Simple Guide to Taking Charge of Your Life (Anglais) Broché – 2 février 2004

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Broché, 2 février 2004
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Lesson One

Feeling Overwhelmed...How to Turn It Around

Often in life, events occur that we truly can't control. The company we're working for "downsizes" and we get laid off. Our spouse leaves us. A family member becomes ill, or someone close to us dies. The government cuts a program we've depended on. In these situations, we may feel as if there is simply nothing we can do to make things better.

Maybe you've had the experience of trying everything you knew to get a job, to help your family, to find your soulmate, or just to feel happier. But nothing seemed to work. When we try a new approach, try our best, yet we still fail to reach our goal, often we fear trying again. Why? Because we all want to avoid pain! And nobody wants to fail again. Nobody wants to give his or her all, only to be disappointed. Often, after many of these experiences of disappointment, we stop trying! We get to the point where we believe that nothing will work.

If you find yourself at the point where you're not even willing to try, you've put yourself in a place called "learned helplessness." You've literally learned -- or taught yourself -- that you're "helpless."

The good news is that you're wrong. You can make things happen! You can change anything in your life today by changing your perceptions and changing your actions.

"I am not discouraged, because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward."

Thomas Edison

The first step to turning your life around is getting rid of this negative belief that you can't do anything or that you're helpless. How can you do that? Often the reason that people say they can't do something is that they've tried things in the past that haven't worked. But remember -- and I've used this phrase again and again throughout my life -- YOUR PAST DOES NOT EQUAL YOUR FUTURE. What matters is not yesterday but what you do right now. So many people are trying to drive into the future using a rearview mirror to guide themselves! If you do that, you'll crash. Instead you must focus on what you can do today to make things better.

Persistence Pays

Many people tell me, "I've tried millions of ways to succeed, and nothing works!" Or, "I've tried thousands of ways!" Think about it. They probably haven't even tried hundreds of ways to change things, or even dozens. Most people have tried eight, nine, ten ways to make a change, and when it hasn't worked out, they've given up.

The key to success is to decide what's most important to you and then take massive action each day to make it better, even when it doesn't look as if it's working.

I'll give you an example. Have you ever heard of a guy named Colonel Sanders? Of course you have. How did Colonel Sanders become such an unbelievable success? Was it because he was born wealthy? Was his family rich? Did they send him to a top university like Harvard? Maybe he was successful because he started his business when he was really young. Are any of these true?

The answer is no. Colonel Sanders didn't begin to fulfill his dream until he was 65 years old! What drove him to finally take action? He was broke and alone. He got his first Social Security check for $105, and he got mad. But instead of blaming society or just writing Congress a nasty note, he started asking himself, "What could I do that would be valuable for other people? What could I give back?" He started thinking about what he had that was valuable to others.

His first answer was, "Well, I have this chicken recipe everyone seems to love! What if I sold my chicken recipe to restaurants? Could I make money doing that?" Then he immediately thought, "That's ridiculous. Selling my recipe won't even pay the rent." And he got a new idea: "What if I not only sold them my recipe but also showed them how to cook the chicken properly? What if the chicken was so good that it increased their business? If more people came to see them and they made more chicken sales, maybe they would give me a percentage of those additional sales."

Many people have great ideas. But Colonel Sanders was different. He was a man who didn't just think of great things to do. He put them into action. He went and started knocking on doors, telling each restaurant owner his story: "I've got a great chicken recipe, and I think if you use it, it'll increase your sales. And I'd like to get a percentage of that increase."

Well, many people laughed in his face. They said, "Look, old man, get out of here. What are you wearing that stupid white suit for?" Did Colonel Sanders give up? Absolutely not. He had the # 1 key to success; I call it personal power. Personal power means being persistent in taking action: Every time you do something, you learn from it, and you fred a way to do it better next time. Colonel Sanders certainly used his personal power! Instead of feeling bad about the last restaurant that had rejected his idea, he immediately started focusing on how to tell his story more effectively and get better results from the next restaurant.

How many times do you think Colonel Sanders heard no before getting the answer he wanted? He was refused 1,009 times before he heard his first yes. He spent two years driving across America in his old, beat-up car, sleeping in the back seat in his rumpled white suit, getting up each day eager to share his idea with someone new. Often, the only food he had was a quick bite of the samples he was preparing for prospective buyers. How many people do you think would have gone for 1,009 noes -- two years of noes! -- and kept on going? Very few. That's why there's only one Colonel Sanders. I think most people wouldn't get past twenty noes, much less a hundred or a thousand! Yet this is sometimes what it takes to succeed.

If you look at any of the most successful people in history, you will find this common thread: They would not be denied. They would not accept no. They would not allow anything to stop them from making their vision, their goal, a reality. Did you know that Walt Disney was turned down 302 times before he got financing for his dream of creating "The Happiest Place on Earth"? All the banks thought he was crazy. He wasn't crazy; he was a visionary and, more important, he was committed to making that vision a reality. Today, millions of people have shared in "the joy of Disney," a world like no other, a world launched by the decision of one man.

When I lived in my crummy little apartment, washing my dishes in the bathtub, I had to keep reminding myself of these kinds of stories. I had to keep reminding myself that NO PROBLEM IS PERMANENT. NO PROBLEM AFFECTS MY ENTIRE LIFE. THIS TOO SHALL PASS IF I CONTINUE TO TAKE MASSIVE, POSITIVE, CONSTRUCTIVE ACTION. I kept thinking, "Even though my life looks terrible right now, there are many things to be thankful for, like the two friends I have, or the fact that I have all my senses, or that I can breathe fresh air." I constantly reminded myself to focus on what I wanted, to focus on solutions instead of problems. And I remembered that no problem affects my entire life, even though it may look like it right now.

So I decided I would no longer believe that my whole life was screwed up simply because I had financial difficulties or emotional frustrations. I decided that there was nothing wrong with me, but that I was simply in "lag time." In other words, I knew that if I were to continue nurturing the seeds I had planted -- continue doing the right things -- I would make it out of this winter of my life and into spring, when I would reap the rewards of years of seemingly fruitless efforts. I also decided that doing exactly the same things over and over again and expecting a different result was insane. I had to try something new, and I had to keep on until I found the answers I needed.

My message to you is simple, and in your heart you know it's true: Massive, consistent action with pure persistence and a sense of flexibility in pursuing your goals will ultimately give you what you want, but you must abandon any sense that there is no solution. You must focus immediately on the actions you can take today, even if they are small ones.

This makes sense, doesn't it? So why don't more people follow the advice of the Nike ad and just do it? The answer is that they've been shut down by fear of failure. But I've discovered something wonderful about failure....

Copyright © 1991, 1995 by Anthony Robbins --Ce texte fait référence à l'édition Broché .

Revue de presse

'More than a note from a friend - an indispensable guide!'
Arnold Schwarzenegger
'Vintage Robbins…It distills the complexity of human potential movement into one single but powerful idea'
James Redfield, The Celestine Prophecy
'Tony's warmth, passion, and commitment will inspire you to truly master your life and touch others in the process'
Kenneth Blanchard, Ph.D., author of The One Minute Manager
'Tony's incredible understanding of the world, people and human nature makes him the ultimate life coach. He knows what it takes to make people excel … and win!'
Andre Agassi
'Tony Robbins inspired me to take my career to the next level. Having attended all of his live courses, he definitely is the number one communicator in the world. He really knows how to bring out the best in you so that you consistently peak perform'
Roger Black, World Olympic medallist, BBC television presenter and motivational speaker.
'Tony thinks differently, and thank god he does, because he helps us to think differently about everything. Talk about value added leadership!'
Mike Basch, Federal Express
'I am passionately attached to self-improvement books, and this year I have found the guru of gurus in this department'
Mary Kenny, Express
'Robbins is a great public speaker, the best I have ever heard'
Martyn Harris, Daily Telegraph
'Robbins is a mass of walking energy and passion'
Time Out
'It really is incredible. Though written in the plainest of basic English it grabs the attention immediately. Even the most casual browser will feel a tingle. This is not just positive thinking - it's a whole new approach to living - really living - every day' WESTMINSTER INDEPENDENT --Ce texte fait référence à l'édition Broché .

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Amazon.com: 97 commentaires
62 internautes sur 62 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
A Gift to Uplift... 4 décembre 2005
Par Ilavarasu Tamilmani - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format: Broché
Notes from a Friend: A Quick and Simple Guide to Taking Control of Your Life, is one of the best self-help books available on the stands. It would also be a perfect gift for someone you care.

Mr. Anthony Robbins begins the book by taking us along into a particular Thanksgiving Day in his life, when a certain event changed the way he thought about life, forever. The book is more than a collection of the best inspiring ideas - it is also a good step by step guide to enriching our lives.

Actually we can get through the book pretty fast and that is a plus, since we don't lose interest at any point of time. The book has a lucid style and a straight forward approach.

The book talks about the following -

1. Ways to tap the power inside to change anything in our life

2. Great reminder statements to go over when we are overwhelmed by feelings which pull us down

3. How our decisions can change our life

4. How to keep focusing

5. How to ask the right questions - This is a very valuable chapter - it has 5 'problem solving questions', 7 'Morning power questions', and 3 'Evening power questions'.

6. How we can find empowering words for commonly observed negative emotions/expressions

7. Metaphors that make a difference

8. Effective Goal setting and 'Training the brain' so that it knows that the goal is a happening thing.

9. The Ten day mental challenge - which is actually a neat mental game with its own rules, a clear goal, and the effect it is going to have on you. This game wraps up and covers all the concepts discussed in the entire book. Mr. Anthony Robbins says that this exercise turned his life right-side up which shows that it is a time-tested and proven exercise/game. The game is intended to achieve the following:

a. Make us identify our mental habits that hold us back

b. Make our brain seek for powerful, helpful choices

c. Effectively increase our confidence level by making us realize that we can turn our lives around for the better

d. Create new habits, standards, expectations that will help us grow and enjoy life more and more, everyday.

Some of the closing chapters are devoted to describing Mr. Anthony Robbins work, and how he is inspiring people who he comes across. It lends us great inspiration to read about him and the other personalities who have benefited by his book and methods, and the programs his organization offer.

The strength of this book is that it is very effective, in spite of being short and simple. There are no hidden secrets in the methods this book speaks about, and there are NO empty promises therein either. All you have to do is follow the steps explained in it, and feel the difference in your life, practically and for real.

It is helping me day by day... and has my high recommendation. I am going to order a copy for my best friend tonight.
58 internautes sur 60 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
Short, sweet and challenging 22 février 2002
Par Martin Schray - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format: Broché
Notes From A Friend is a interesting book. If you want to know more about Tony Robbins thoughts and techniques Notes From A Friend gives many of his popular ideas in a very compact format. If you are one of those people that likes a book that challenges you, asks you to exercises and change they way you think this is the book for you.
I found the book quite useful from a couple of different perspectives. Some of the changes that Notes From A Friend suggests are really small distinctions, but taken together they can have significant impact. One of the examples from Notes From A Friend are the questions that you ask yourself. Notes From A Friend suggest asking questions that lead to the solution of a problem rather then victim questions such as why did this happen to me. Another distinction is how we view failures. Failures will occur if we try anything useful. It is really our reaction to these failures and what we learn from them that matters.
Not content to Notes From A Friend just be an intriguing read Robbins challenges the reader with a ten day program that is a powerful application of the essence of the book. If you want to know more about Tony Robbins, his techniques and are not afriad a book that gives homework assignments I recommend this book.
36 internautes sur 36 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
Simply powerful! 8 juillet 2008
Par kh82399ny - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format: Broché
In a straight-forward approach with his contagious enthusiasm and lots of real life examples, Anthony Robbins's "Notes from a Friend: A Quick and Simple Guide to Taking Control of Your Life" shows his readers that we can change our life literally in a matter of moments, by tapping into the power that's inside each of us right now.

What if "unleash the power within us" is what we need to be successful? It sounds too simple, but many of us including myself, have no idea how powerful we truly are. This book effectively showed us that we can shape our destiny by shifting focus on solutions, instead of problems. Having a clear vision of what we want, with a sense of flexibility in pursuing our goals, and continuing to take massive, positive, constructive actions, we can empower and enrich our lives and others' lives around us in all aspects!

A concept from this book particularly caught my eyes; "the past doesn't matter. Whatever hasn't worked in the past has nothing to do with what you'll do today. What you do right now is what will shape your destiny." It reminded me of my favorite authors; Ariel and Shya Kane and their books Being Here: Modern Day Tales of Enlightenment and Working on Yourself Doesn't Work: A Book About Instantaneous Transformation. The Kanes presented the idea of "Living in the moments", showing "the current moment is all we have and living in the moment is all it takes to have our life transformed." It is so freeing to be able to let go of all the "I should have done this" and know that what happened in the past is irrelevant to now and now is all we have! We have absolutely everything we need right now to create our lives.

These three authors are magical. I highly recommend them to anyone that wants to have a magical life and to discover his and her brilliance!
33 internautes sur 33 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
Buy this book now 6 janvier 2005
Par Sam - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format: Broché Achat vérifié
This book changed my life. I'm not a big Anthony Robbins fan. I used to be in corporate sales so I bought this book looking for ideas to improve my sales. I didn't learn how to sell more or create wealth. Instead, I learned how to change my life and improve my perspective on things. If you are depressed or are unhappy with your life and you want to change, this book will help you do so. It teaches you how to break bad habits and inspire you to change. Any time, I'm in a bad mood or I feel helpless, I read this book and it completely motivates you and provides you with confidence. There are no gimics in this book. Tony Robbins doesn't really tell you anything you didn't already know. Rather, it's HOW he tells things. He uses real life examples and people we are familiar with like the guy who started Kentucky Fried Chicken and Honda autos so he is not just giving you motivation gibberish. His advice is based on his discussions with real people who achieved success in life. I'm in medicine today which is a completey different field but I still refer back to this book. It is a gem
13 internautes sur 13 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
Simply the Best 22 juillet 2006
Par Mr. H. A. Imam - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format: Broché
I am a great fan on Tony Robbins and have attended his seminars ('Unleash the Power' within and 'Date with Destiny').

He is a life-changing force for good and has changed the lives of millions of people. This book is a shortened version of his other meaty books but is punch and filled with real life examples of real people living in the real world who have bounced back from the brink of disaster.

The notes are easy to follow and apply. One reviewer asked how this 'con-man' (Robbins) changed the lives of the readers? Simple. There is nothing magical about what he says, neither is he a guru. He teaches techniques to re-programme the brain which will empower people to success. But a book alone does not change a life overnight. The techniques need to be practised so that they are built into the nervous system. I would also recommend hi sseminars, which are designed to intregrate the theoretical learnings into practice. How did he change me? I get feedback from my fellow work colleagues and managers. The common things they say is that I have a great attitude, willing to overcome obstacles, great to be with and influential. I do need to work on a few things though which I have thrown aside because I have been lazy!! This book is a great jump-start for people who have read Robbins's books and attended seminars. Furthermore, it is first class for novices.

Hasan Ali Imam

Ex-Parlaimentary Candidate

Conservative Party

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