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Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking [Format Kindle]

Susan Cain
3.9 étoiles sur 5  Voir tous les commentaires (19 commentaires client)

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Today we make room for a remarkably narrow range of personality styles. We’re told that to be great is to be bold, to be happy is to be sociable. We see ourselves as a nation of extroverts—which means that we’ve lost sight of who we really are. Depending on which study you consult, one third to one half of Americans are introverts—in other words, one out of every two or three people you know. (Given that the United States is among the most extroverted of nations, the number must be at least as high in other parts of the world.) If you’re not an introvert yourself, you are surely raising, managing, married to, or coupled with one.

If these statistics surprise you, that’s probably because so many people pretend to be extroverts. Closet introverts pass undetected on playgrounds, in high school locker rooms, and in the corridors of corporate America. Some fool even themselves, until some life event—a layoff, an empty nest, an inheritance that frees them to spend time as they like— jolts them into taking stock of their true natures. You have only to raise the subject of this book with your friends and acquaintances to find that the most unlikely people consider themselves introverts.

It makes sense that so many introverts hide even from themselves. We live with a value system that I call the Extrovert Ideal—the omnipresent belief that the ideal self is gregarious, alpha, and comfortable in the spotlight. The archetypal extrovert prefers action to contemplation, risk- taking to heed-taking, certainty to doubt. He favors quick decisions, even at the risk of being wrong. She works well in teams and socializes in groups. We like to think that we value individuality, but all too often we admire one type of individual—the kind who’s comfortable “putting himself out there.” Sure, we allow technologically gifted loners who launch companies in garages to have any personality they please, but they are the exceptions, not the rule, and our tolerance extends mainly to those who get fabulously wealthy or hold the promise of doing so.

Introversion—along with its cousins sensitivity, seriousness, and shyness—is now a second- class personality trait, somewhere between a disappointment and a pathology. Introverts living under the Extrovert Ideal are like women in a man’s world, discounted because of a trait that goes to the core of who they are. Extroversion is an enormously appealing personality style, but we’ve turned it into an oppressive standard to which most of us feel we must conform.

The Extrovert Ideal has been documented in many studies, though this research has never been grouped under a single name. Talkative people, for example, are rated as smarter, better- looking, more interesting, and more desirable as friends. Velocity of speech counts as well as volume: we rank fast talkers as more competent and likable than slow ones. The same dynamics apply in groups, where research shows that the voluble are considered smarter than the reticent—even though there’s zero correlation between the gift of gab and good ideas. Even the word introvert is stigmatized—one informal study, by psychologist Laurie Helgoe, found that introverts described their own physical appearance in vivid language ( “green- blue eyes,” “exotic,” “high cheekbones”), but when asked to describe generic introverts they drew a bland and distasteful picture (“ungainly,” “neutral colors,” “skin problems”).

But we make a grave mistake to embrace the Extrovert Ideal so unthinkingly. Some of our greatest ideas, art, and inventions—from the theory of evolution to van Gogh’s sunflowers to the personal computer— came from quiet and cerebral people who knew how to tune in to their inner worlds and the treasures to be found there.

Copyright © 2012 by Susan Cain. From the book QUIET: The Power Of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking by Susan Cain, published by Crown, a division of Random House, Inc.  Reprinted with permission.

Revue de presse

Marvellous. The most important book published for a decade (Lynne Truss Sunday Telegraph)

Quiet is a very timely book, and Cain's central thesis is fresh and important. Maybe the extrovert ideal is no longer as powerful as it was; perhaps it is time we all stopped to listen to the still, small voice of calm (Daisy Goodwin The Sunday Times)

Susan Cain's Quiet has sparked a quiet revolution. In our booming culture, hers is a still, small voice that punches above its weight. Perhaps rather than sitting back and asking people to speak up, managers and company leaders might lean forward and listen (Megan Walsh The Times)

I can't get Quiet out of my head. It is an important book - so persuasive and timely and heartfelt it should inevitably effect change in schools and offices (Jon Ronson The Guardian)

A startling, important, and readable page-turner (Naomi Wolf, author of The Beauty Myth)

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6 internautes sur 7 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
2.0 étoiles sur 5 few interesting parts lost in a long book 29 septembre 2013
Par mickey
Format:Format Kindle
The subject of this book is very important. Personnality psychology could change your life or even the world. Thus, everyone should learn about his or her personnality. But this book may not be the best way to do it.
It's very talkative, there's a lot of boring passages where the author talks in great lengths about all places she visited and the people she met or admires. My fast reading skills were very useful !
It's a very american book, it's all about american culture. There's an interesting part at the beginning about self-improvement in the U.S. but otherwise it's quite uninteresting for non-american people (for instance the whole chapter about asian-american students in california...). The chapter about education was also very "american" and since I don't have kids I just fast-read it.
There are interesting ideas and studies here and there but beware there's a lot of sorting out to do !
My advice : watch the lecture on TED and if you like susan cain, buy the book, otherwise find an other one.
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1 internautes sur 1 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
3.0 étoiles sur 5 Interesting book 18 septembre 2014
Par Indi Ra
Format:Broché|Achat vérifié
It was quite an interesting book to read and I did recognize myself in several occasions.
Some pieces of advice also helped me but only a few because I live in France and it's of course completely different from the US.

I think that book can be interesting to both introverts (to show them they're not alone and that's okay to be introvert) and extroverts (to help them understand that not everyone can do as they do) although I found the author was sometimes a bit "harsh" with extroverts.
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5.0 étoiles sur 5 Utile aux introvertis et aux extravertis ! 19 août 2015
Par Manageris TOP 1000 COMMENTATEURS
Format:Broché|Achat vérifié
Comment survivre, quand on est introverti, dans un environnement scolaire puis professionnel qui survalorise le contact social, les interactions, le collectif ? C’est le défi qu’a vécu l’avocate Susan Cain. Elle en livre une analyse passionnante et étayée. L’alerte interpelle : les sociétés occidentales valorisent excessivement l’extraversion. C’est ainsi presque la moitié de la population qui ne trouve pas naturellement
sa place, et dont la valeur n’est ni reconnue, ni utilisée à sa juste mesure. Communiquer, réseauter, collaborer, prendre des risques, faire sa propre promotion, sont les comportements les plus valorisés en entreprise. Or si le collectif a des vertus incontestables, beaucoup soulignent aujourd’hui le besoin d’un retour à plus d’équilibre. Les démarches exclusivement collectives font courir le risque d’une pensée unique, d’erreurs
d’inattention, de précipitation ou de prises de risque exagérées. Savoir écouter, prendre le temps du recul et de la réflexion avant d’agir, imaginer des solutions sans contrainte avant de partager ses idées avec le groupe : ces comportements spontanés des introvertis sont tout aussi nécessaires à la performance de l’entreprise.
L’auteur met en garde les introvertis sur leur tentation fréquente d’imiter les extravertis. Elle leur conseille au contraire de rester eux-mêmes et d’utiliser leurs qualités distinctives, comme une grande capacité de concentration, une facilité à résoudre des problèmes complexes, leur
lucidité face au risque.
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4.0 étoiles sur 5 3,5 stars 15 juillet 2014
Par Leïla
Format:Broché|Achat vérifié
Susan Cain's book shows how our society from school to the labor world is made for extroverts people and the difficulty introverts, who represents 30 to 50 % of the population, have to deal with it. She also put a chapter full of advices for parents with introverts children, which makes sense since our occidental societies's extroverts bias impacts their education.

At times I found it redundant but I really enjoyed her academic approach. I also think that this book might not only be helpful for introverts but also for the labor world actors.

My oldest son is an extrovert, my youngest an introvert and their father an extrovert. The kids didn't take the test, the category they belong to is really obvious. The funny thing is that you would think that I'll have more "affinities" with my youngest and their father with the oldest but the truth is that our entourage considers that my oldest son and me are as thick as thieves, not the other way around. And when I complain about my youngest to his father, his answer is that we are so much alike. So not funny, but it's the living proof that we need both types.
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1.0 étoiles sur 5 Pas terrible 9 septembre 2015
Par J. Remi
Format:Format Kindle|Achat vérifié
Pas vraiment passionnant !
Une expérience personnelle dont finalement on ne tire pas grand chose et des illustrations et rapports d'échanges sans aucun repère.
Cependant quelques bonnes choses au milieu de longs verbiages : bref il vous faudra être patient !
Nous sommes loin de nos attentes : une réflexion, des repères et une méthode.

Un livre ennuyeux, long et décousu !

Je conseille un arrêt définitif...après quelques pages (j'ai tenu entre 70 et 100 pages, et encore en survolant les dernières)
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4.0 étoiles sur 5 You go, Quiet! 28 juin 2013
Format:Format Kindle|Achat vérifié
I liked Quiet. While you can feel the author has a bit of an axe to grind with extroverts, let's keep in mind this is an American book written in the context of contemporary American culture. Someone had to speak up for introverts (isn't that a contradiction though? ;0) in a world that only seems to glorify the qualities of grandiosity, self-aggrandizement, brashness, confidence. I even discovered my own inner introvert, and began paying more attention to her...!
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Commentaires client les plus récents
5.0 étoiles sur 5 Life changing book
I wanna thank Susan for this incredible book about introverts and extroverts and I invite EVERYBODY to read it for what insights, changes and inspiration it can bring to our lives.
Publié il y a 2 mois par Younes
4.0 étoiles sur 5 Recommend.
I started reading the book and it seems very promising, the copy is nice, lightweight and elegant looking, I recommend.
Publié il y a 3 mois par Zeyad AL SALLOUM
4.0 étoiles sur 5 Livre intéressant
Plutôt accessible au niveau de l'anglais, et c'est un livre très intéressant dès lors qu'on se penche un minimum sur le sujet.
Publié il y a 5 mois par Emilie Marquet
3.0 étoiles sur 5 pas mal
I found some aspects of this book helpful and educational. I'm not a big fan of the anecdotal format and found myself skipping over some of the countless stories.
Publié il y a 7 mois par Livresse
5.0 étoiles sur 5 INTROVERT
Livre riche en anecdotes et captivant ! 👌Super
Il est facile a lire et donne des pistes pour les introvertis ;)
Publié il y a 10 mois par Nafissata Kebe
5.0 étoiles sur 5 Excellent, à offrir à tous les timides et leurs proches.
Awesome, for all introverts and their relatives. Excellent, à offrir à tous les timides et leurs proches, à tous les instituteurs aussi.
Publié il y a 13 mois par Laurence Fornari
4.0 étoiles sur 5 Very Interesting
This book is very interesting. It can help you to understand and appreciate the value and challenges of introverted (and extroverted) personality tendencies in yourself and... Lire la suite
Publié il y a 15 mois par Haidji
5.0 étoiles sur 5 U9n livre equilibré et fouillé
Avdc un tel titre, j'avais un peu peur d'un livre à thėme, revanchard sur les extravertis.
Ce n'est pas le cas. Lire la suite
Publié il y a 18 mois par Philippe
5.0 étoiles sur 5 Great book for introverts!
Easy to read with lots of living examples, this book is a must especially if you are an introvert or the parent of introvert kids.
Publié il y a 23 mois par Elie AKIKI
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