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Revolting Rhymes (Anglais) Broché – 3 septembre 2009


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Descriptions du produit

Extrait

Cinderella

I guess you think you know this story.
You don't. The real one's much more gory.
The phony one, the one you know,
Was cooked up years and years ago,
And made to sound all soft and sappy
just to keep the children happy. Mind you, they got the first bit right,
The bit where, in the dead of night,
The Ugly Sisters, jewels and all,
Departed for the Palace Ball,
While darling little Cinderella
Was locked up in the slimy cellar,
Where rats who wanted things to eat
Began to nibble at her feet.
She bellowed, "Help!" and "Let me out!"
The Magic Fairy heard her shout.
Appearing in a blaze of light,
She said, "My dear, are you all right?" '
All right?" cried Cindy. "Can't you see
I feel as rotten as can be!"

She beat her fist against the wall,
And shouted, "Get me to the Ball!
There is a Disco at the Palace!
The rest have gone and I am jalous!
I want a dress! I want a coach!
And earrings and a diamond brooch!
And silver slippers, two of those!
And lovely nylon pantyhose!
Thereafter it will be a cinch
To hook the handsome Royal Prince!"
The Fairy said, "Hang on a tick."
She gave her Wand a mighty flick
And quickly, in no time at all,
Cindy was at the Palace Ball!
It made the Ugly Sisters wince

To see her dancing with the Prince.
She held him very tight and pressed
Herself against his manly chest. The Prince himself was turned to pulp,
All he could do was gasp and gulp.
Then midnight struck. She shouted, "Heck!”
I've got to run to save my neck!"
The Prince cried, "No! Alas! Alack!"
He grabbed her dress to hold her back.
As Cindy shouted, "Let me go!"
The dress was ripped from head to toe.
She ran out in her underwear,
But lost one slipper on the stair.
The Prince was on it like a dart,
He pressed it to his pounding hear
t. "The girl this slipper fits," he cried,
"Tomorrow morn shall be my bride! I'll visit every house in town
Until I've tracked the maiden down!"
Then rather carelessly, I fear,
He placed it on a crate of beer.

At once, one of the Ugly Sisters
(The one whose face was blotched with blisters)
Sneaked up and grabbed the dainty shoe,
And quickly flushed it down the loo.
Then in its place she calmly put
The slipper from her own left foot.
Ah-ha, you see, the plot grows thicker,
And Cindys luck starts looking sicker.
Next day, the Prince went charging down
To knock on all the doors in town.
In every house, the tension grew.
Who was the owner of the shoe?
The shoe was huge and frightfully wide.
(A normal foot got lost inside.)
Also it smelled a wee bit icky.
(The owner's feet were hot and sticky.)
Thousands of eager people came
To try it on, but all in vain.
Now came the Ugly Sisters' go.
One tried it on. The Prince screamed, "No!"
But she screamed, "Yes! It fits! Whoopee!
So now you've got to marry me!"
The Prince went white from ear to ear.

He muttered, "Let's get out of here."
"Oh no you don't! You've made a vow!
There's no way you can back out now!
"Off with her head!" the Prince roared back.
They chopped it off with one big whack.
This pleased the Prince. He smiled and said,
"She's prettier without her head."
Then up came Sister Number Two,
Who yelled, "Now I will try the shoe!"
"Try this instead!" the Prince yelled back.
He swung his trusty sword and smack
Her head went crashing to the ground.
It bounced a bit and rolled around.
In the kitchen, peeling spuds, Cinderella heard the thuds
Of bouncing heads upon the floor,
And poked her own head round the door.
"What's all the racket?" Cindy cried.
"Mind your own bizz," the Prince replied.
Poor Cindys heart was torn to shreds.
My Prince! she thought. He chops off heads!
How could I marry anyone
Who does that sort of thing for fun?

The Prince cried, "Who's this dirty slut?
Off with her nut! Off with her nut!"
just then, all in a blaze of light,
The Magic Fairy hove in sight,
Her Magic Wand went swoosh and swish!
"Cindy!" she cried. "Come make a wish!
Wish anything and have no doubt
That I will make it come about!"
Cindy answered, "Oh kind Fairy,
This time I shall be more wary.
No more Princes, no more money
I have had my taste of honey
I'm wishing for a decent man.
They're hard to find. D'you think you can?"
Within a minute, Cinderella
Was married to a lovely feller,
A simple jam-maker by trade,
Who sold good homemade marmalade.
Their house was filled with smiles and laughter
And they were happy ever after. --Ce texte fait référence à l'édition Relié .

Présentation de l'éditeur

Did you think Cinderella married the prince and lived happily ever after, or that the three little pigs outsmarted the wolf? Think again! Master storyteller Roald Dahl adds his own darkly comic twists to six favorite tales, complete with rambunctious rhymes and hilarious surprise endings.



Détails sur le produit

  • Broché: 32 pages
  • Editeur : Puffin; Édition : Reprint (3 septembre 2009)
  • Langue : Anglais
  • ISBN-10: 9780142414828
  • ISBN-13: 978-0142414828
  • ASIN: 0142414824
  • Dimensions du produit: 20,5 x 0,4 x 26,4 cm
  • Moyenne des commentaires client : 4.2 étoiles sur 5  Voir tous les commentaires (4 commentaires client)
  • Classement des meilleures ventes d'Amazon: 4.185 en Livres anglais et étrangers (Voir les 100 premiers en Livres anglais et étrangers)
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2 internautes sur 2 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile  Par Ingrid Voogd sur 24 juillet 2009
Format: Broché
very refreshing to read with the children. Funny and if you know the fairy-tale, it is so hilarious. Not only for children but also for their parents.
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Par krouks sur 23 août 2013
Format: Broché Achat vérifié
Je me suis régalée de lire ces contes revisités et de les raconter à ma fille de 5 ans qui adore les contes. Elle était plutôt surprise des changements mais cela l'a amusé tout de même.
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Par hillbilly sur 5 mai 2012
Format: Broché
Un peu difficile de lire ce bouquin en rime avec quelques mots ancien... Sinon c'est assez drôle de lire des contes classiques de façon revisiter.
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6 internautes sur 8 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile  Par Loungekitty sur 21 avril 2002
Format: Broché
Roald Dahl réécrit des contes classiques en rimes et en politiquement incorrect. C'est court, mais c'est bon, et ce livre peut constituer un bon support d'étude pour des élèves de lycée.
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Commentaires client les plus utiles sur Amazon.com (beta)

Amazon.com: 59 commentaires
30 internautes sur 31 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
Creative and Funny 1 janvier 2004
Par E. Laway - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format: Broché
Some reviewers are "revolted" by the gruesomeness of this little book, whilst others complained it was too short. I have niether of the two compaliants. I loved it! and so did the seven year old little girl, for whom the book was given to as a christmas present. I think Dahl was specially creative in this little book twisting and turning classical children tales into salacious, hilariously funny rhythms that you can read over and over again and still manage a chuckle here and there. And thinking this is too "mature" for younger readers is underestimating the intelligence and imagination of children. Yes, there are some play on words that you have to explain to your little one, but you know what? they'll ask you anyway. As for the size of this book, It's just right. Dahl took the basic popular children stories that everyone knows and i think it's just the right dose and besides, you can take this book anywhere, like the sevenyear and read it to your friends, cousins, neighbors and anyone who she suspects of having a sense of humour. It teaches us about having a boundless imagination and exploring the what ifs of stories. It's another favourite.
14 internautes sur 14 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
Teachers, an excellent time filler! 12 février 2001
Par Kelly G. Hendrix - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format: Broché
My sixth grade math/science students loved these stories and I loved reading them to my students as well. These are fairy tales retold with a twist! The students laughed as hard as I did and after I read one they wanted to hear another. I want more after reading all of the tales! Never could I have expected the tales to be so funny! Reading these aloud to my students enticed them to rewrite the fairy tales themselves when it is almost impossible to get them to write or read! I want more rewritten fairy tales! Excellent!
8 internautes sur 8 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
Discombobulated Nursery Rhymes -- a review by Chris(...) 26 mars 2004
L'évaluation d'un enfant - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format: Broché
Really revolting rhymes! Roald Dahl takes your normal nursery rhymes, mixes them up a bit, adds a touch of his magic, and voila -- you have a hilarious bunch of rhymes. For example, Goldilocks joins up with and helps the three little pigs, and Cinderella gets a bit gory because the prince gets mad ... and he has an axe!
This is another hilarious classic by Roald Dahl for ages 5 to 103. For those of you who like those stories, a word of caution -- these poems are funny and a bit of an insult to those stories. The book is packed with sidesplitting jokes and poems. It adds laugh-out-loud humor to dull nursery rhymes, making them a lot more fun for kids who have grown out of nursery rhymes. With this once-in-a-lifetime book you will enjoy nearly endless laughter with a friend or by yourself! With a Roald Dahl classic in your hands you can trust it will be a good book.
8 internautes sur 8 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
Hilarity ensues! 27 janvier 2000
Par Un client - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format: Broché
I will never forget the day our substitute teacher in year 4 read Cinderella to us! I have loved this book and Roald Dahl ever since. His masterful creativity is evident in every line of each of these stories and each induces tears of laughter. A wonderful addition to any personal library, young or old.
8 internautes sur 9 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
Dahl-lightful! 19 août 2005
Par Robert V. L. Johnstone - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format: Relié
I stumbled onto this little Dahl gem while my wife was researching the book's illustrator, the wonderful Quentin Blake. Having read every Dahl book from The Twits and Matilda to Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and Danny, Champion of the World, I was surprised to have not run across it earlier. And what a pleasant surprise! Dahl is able to combine his often-savage wit with a lovely rhyming ability to re-tell these classic fairy tales. Other authors have tried to turn fairy tales on their head - e.g., The Three Little Wolves and the Big Bad Pig - but few have been able to add the truly unique twists and clever language of Roald Dahl. His rhymes are often in the style of classic kids book writer Shel Silverstein with a similar penchant for bodily functions and nasty behavior, and his merciless portrayals are somewhat reminiscent of Edward Gorey, whose alphabet book is a grisly description of 26 innocent children meeting untimely ends. So, is it appropriate for children? I have read it to both my 4-year-old and 7-year-old and they think it's wonderful, even though they perhaps enjoy the light-heartedness of Winnie The Pooh more. Be cautious of what other reviewers tell you about the language in the book...a word like 'slut' in the hands of Roald Dahl is perhaps not what you think. Remember, he was essentially an old-world English fuddy-duddy, to whom the word 'slut' would bear the original meaning of 'dirty and unkept' - as in slovenly. Roald Dahl was not perverted or disgusting, merely revolting.
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