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Loving Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder: How to Keep Out-of-Control Emotions from Destroying Your Relationship (Anglais) Broché – 19 juillet 2011

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Présentation de l'éditeur

People with borderline personality disorder (BPD) can be intensely caring, warm, smart, and funny—but their behavior often drives away those closest to them. If you're struggling in a tumultuous relationship with someone with BPD, this is the book for you. Dr. Shari Manning helps you understand why your spouse, family member, or friend has such out-of-control emotions—and how to change the way you can respond. Learn to use simple yet powerful strategies that can defuse crises, establish better boundaries, and radically transform your relationship. Empathic, hopeful, and science based, this is the first book for family and friends grounded in dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), the most effective treatment for BPD.

Biographie de l'auteur

Shari Y. Manning, PhD, is a clinician in private practice and the former President/CEO of Behavioral Tech and Behavioral Tech Research, the organizations founded by Marsha M. Linehan to provide training in DBT. Dr. Manning has focused on the treatment of people with BPD since 1993. She lives in Columbia, South Carolina, USA.

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Format: Broché
I bought this book after reading the reviews, which were mostly very positive, but I have to confess that I didn’t like it, not that it hasn’t given me important information but it is so very repetitive that I am having a lot of trouble finishing it. I wish there was a book only directed to the partners and spouses of BPD patients, as the situation is different when you share your life intimately with that person. Also often the anger and frustration the person with BPD feels is directed to the person who shares his or her life. In my case my husband decided to divorce me, but the suffering is far from over because in his anger against me he will succeed in leaving me without enough to live into old age, because he filed for divorce in a country where he knew that I would have hardly any rights: France. I am now a shadow of what I used to be when I met him.

This book helped me to see that I did a lot of things right, although I am not a mental health care professional, but I also did many things wrong. I don’t want to beat myself up because I had no support whatsoever through all this ordeal. I have forgiven him because in a way I understand that he can’t help it, but what should have been the cherry on the top of my life, with a man I very much loved, became a nightmare. I wish there were groups to support family members, even after a relationship breaks up, because that would have been very healing for me and for a lot of people.

The book gives you information on the symptoms of BPD, the problems they cause and how you can deal with them so that you help your loved one and try to keep yourself sane.
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Commentaires client les plus utiles sur (beta) HASH(0x9a4b18a0) étoiles sur 5 122 commentaires
89 internautes sur 91 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
HASH(0x9a4b1ef4) étoiles sur 5 Good advice ... hard to do. 10 octobre 2011
Par T. Brown - Publié sur
Format: Broché Achat vérifié
If you are a trained therapist, the basic tactic in this book may work easier for you. It takes a lot of practice and patience to use the tools and advice given. The gist I get from it is to take the emotion from your response to the BPD out of the equation and also offer your understanding in a confirming statement. They give a few examples of the types of thing's they mean, and what is and isn't a confirming statement. This does help keep interactions and communication's from escalating to high intensity, in many cases, but it is very hard to do when the boyfriend I love is either emotionally very high or very low and he is trying to get an emotional response from me. I have been able to use this advice over the last 3 months and it has helped. We've been able to have less heated fights and get to more understanding of each other, I feel. The more calm and stable I remain, the more he remains so too ... but I have to contain myself first and always. I have to rethink and reword most of the immediate thing's I'd like to say to him, which helps him from not going off the deep end, but I feel he does not get the seriousness of the situation at times. Also giving a confirming statement as to validating him, I feel as an addict that he is, makes it seem that I am condoning his actions or words, so he continues to do destructive behaviors. Maybe I'm not doing it quiet right or I'm expecting to much.
Over all the book is helpful, and there are no quick solutions ... it's all work, hard work when loving a BPD.
62 internautes sur 65 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
HASH(0x9a4b0fb4) étoiles sur 5 Eye-Opening 11 novembre 2013
Par Destiny - Publié sur
Format: Format Kindle Achat vérifié
Ok, so I have only read 1/3 of this book so far, and I will come back and write another review after finishing, but if you love someone who has BPD then you definitely need to read this. My husband has been incorrectly diagnosed with bi-polar disorder, adhd, severe depression, etc. However the 20+ pills he takes everyday have never seemed to help or they just comatose him. We have been together ten exhausting years, with many moments of extreme behavior and many moments of the wonderful person he can be. I have often thought that not only was he crazy, but also mean, manipulative, and a free loader b/c he has never been able to hold down a stable job. I've often accused him of wanting to be with me so I could take care of him financially. After reading the short amount of this book that I have, so many things make perfect sense. It has been very eye opening and is a must read for anyone who has a loved one with borderline personality disorder. At the very least it will help you to realize your loved one does love you but has not developed the necessary skills to be a functioning member of society (to various degrees). It will also allow you to change your reaction to their actions, which can help them change. This book is already such a blessing to me, and I am so thankful that Dr. Manning has taken the time to educate those of us who just happen to love someone with this disorder.
32 internautes sur 33 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
HASH(0x9a61b690) étoiles sur 5 Very Helpful 26 février 2014
Par Chelsea C. - Publié sur
Format: Broché
I have also read "Stop Walking On Eggshells". I like the approach of this book much better. Eggshells seems confrontational, but the approach of this book is trying to foster an understanding and helping the person you love.
28 internautes sur 30 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
HASH(0x9a92087c) étoiles sur 5 non-judgemental, helpful 17 janvier 2012
Par bg - Publié sur
Format: Broché Achat vérifié
I have read many books on this subject, but this has been far the best in helping me both understand this disorder and deal positively with it. It really helps me be more compassionate and patient, and at the same time, helpful in my dealings with the person close to me that has this problem.
34 internautes sur 38 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
HASH(0x9a4b3600) étoiles sur 5 This is an amazing book, I felt like someone could finally help me. 7 juillet 2012
Par Eli's Nana - Publié sur
Format: Format Kindle Achat vérifié
This is a wonderful book. I was/am having a very hard time with my daughter who has BPD and this book really helps me to understand better why she is the way she is and that's it's nothing I've done to set her off. At the same time it is sad to realize that there is nothing I can do to fix her. It helps me to understand the disorder and not blame or look to blame anyone but move forward and try my best to help her deal with this disorder. I hope more family's find this book and read it and I believe it will save a lot of people with BPD to not loose their family's and people they love.

Thank you,
Sonja Stewart
Kennewick, WA
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