7 Steps to Emotional Intelligence [Anglais] [Broché]

7 Steps to Emotional Intelligence reveals the structuring beneath Emotional Intelligence (EI), utilising its unique framework to combine EI and Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) the study of excellence that examines how behaviour is neurologically formulated. 7 Steps to Emotional Intelligence confidently integrates the insights of EI and NLP to promote a greater understanding of how emotions work and how they can be worked upon. This book is driven by one important message, 'Don't just think about it, do it!' A model-based guide packed with powerful NLP exercises and self-assessment techniques, it allows you to generate your own tricks, and to partake in an intensive EQ excellence course that utilises the self-programming practices of NLP. A thoroughly structured, functionally formatted guide to improving your EQ, 7 Steps to Emotional Intelligence serves as a textbook of EI theory, a manual of NLP techniques, and a workbook that systematically leads you through the process of dynamic EQ improvement. It answers the essential EI questions: what do my emotions mean?; how do I manage my emotions?; how can I deal with conflicts in an emotionally intelligent way?; what motivates people and how can I take that into account?; how can I handle situations in the best possible way?; how do I get what I want?

Patrick E. Merlevede MSc is an organisational consultant and trainer specialising in Emotional Intelligence and knowledge management. He currently runs his own successful company, Acknowledge CBVA, and is a practising trainer and consultant. Patrick graduated from the KU Leuven, Belgium, as Commercial Engineer and Master of Artificial Intelligence & Cognitive Science. He is certified as an NLP trainer and modeller by the NLP University in Santa Cruz, California.

Classic intelligence and rational thinking have dominated western society for centuries. It was Freud who showed, through his analysis of the unconscious, that there is more to us than rational thinking. Since Freud, the development of psychology has brought us the insight that a person's actions aren't just rational or logical. Emotional Intelligence seems a good term to name the effect of our "non rational" way of thinking and being, even if the source of this intelligence has kept researchers busy from fields such as psychology, anthropology and sociology for the last 150 years.

From our definition you learned that Emotional Intelligence means "to be able to reach your goals by interacting with your environment". But what is it really? In Daniel Goleman's book "Emotional Intelligence" you'll find some vague terms as perseverance, self-confidence, enthusiasm and self-motivation. These elements are connected to your emotional state. If you put yourself in a resourceful state, you can access your perseverance, self-confidence, enthusiasm and self-motivation. The definition of Peter Savoley, a professor at Yale University, adds self- awareness and empathy to these characteristics of Emotional Intelligence. Empathy is "the ability to identify with and understand another's situation, feelings, and motives". Observation skills help you to achieve this: you can learn to "read" what is someone's emotional state and use this information to improve your ability to enter into the part which is required of you.

Summarizing the above, we can say that Emotional Intelligence is a container term which encloses a series of skills one has acquired more or less intuitively. The best salespersons, lawyers, politicians and psychologists have often developed these skills to a high degree and use them unconsciously. This book will bring your abilities back to your conscious awareness and explain to you the structure of these skills, thus giving you even more control over them than you thought possible.

All too often, it seems that people lack perseverance when they need it most or lose control over their emotions in difficult situations. Aristotle expressed it this way: "Everybody can get angry - that's easy. But getting angry at the right person, with the right intensity, at the right time, for the right reason and in the right way - that's hard." A manager who loses their temper may not reach their goal and instead risks losing their credibility with their employees. A consultant who thinks they can outsmart people while working in a company will create resistance instead of gaining respect. A parent using their physical superiority to impose rules upon a child (because there doesn't seem to be another way?) will stimulate anger and resentment in this child. Moreover, as the child grows older the physical advantage disappears and this strategy to "convince" the child will stop working. Finding constructive ways to use your emotions is the key.

Now try this: put down this book, stand up and bend your upper body so that you (almost) can touch the ground with your hands. Now say: "I feel successful". You will notice that it is very hard to feel successful in such a position. This body posture doesn't "fit" with the feeling. And here is a second one: stand up straight, head up, shoulders back, belly pulled inwards and say: "I feel sad". Again you'll notice incongruency between body posture and feeling. We'll investigate this matter in chapter 4 and you will learn what elements influence your emotional state.

Finally we'd like you to consider the following: the well known geniuses of this world weren't perfect. Most of them only excelled in one or a few specific areas of life. Walt Disney didn't want to pay tribute to his collaborators for the work they did, claiming he did it all. President J.F. Kennedy is known for chasing women around the White House. Martin Luther King did beat up his wife, etc. Given our definition of Emotional Intelligence it would appear that all these public figures had areas in their life where their EQ failed on them. They were quite lucky to be able to keep these areas out of the public attention.