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The Apprentice Starship Engineer: Book One The Link (English Edition)
 
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The Apprentice Starship Engineer: Book One The Link (English Edition) [Format Kindle]

Daniel Hanks

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Descriptions du produit

Présentation de l'éditeur

Edited second edition.
When a family fight turns ugly Drakes plans for college are ruined. He is pushed into the Starship Union as an apprentice engineer. Assigned to the Armstrong on a science voyage that could last seven years Drake is off to face the unknown. Drakes Journeyman Jack is a hard boiled old guy tough as leather he doesn't ask, he demands. If he doesn't please Jack, Drake could spend the rest of the trip as a janitor.
Between Drakes required studies by the union, and Jacks extra homework the pressure is on. Drake is not getting much sleep. Then a pretty girl asks him to join her self-defense class. He can’t say no to her. Drake starts wondering if Jack and Sandra are competing to see who will work him to death
An accident on the Armstrong sends him to planet 9732. Aliens attack but they are not the real problem.

Détails sur le produit

  • Format : Format Kindle
  • Taille du fichier : 597 KB
  • Nombre de pages de l'édition imprimée : 221 pages
  • Vendu par : Amazon Media EU S.à r.l.
  • Langue : Anglais
  • ASIN: B00J1VTH3A
  • Synthèse vocale : Activée
  • X-Ray :
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Commentaires client les plus utiles sur Amazon.com (beta)
Amazon.com: 2.6 étoiles sur 5  23 commentaires
13 internautes sur 13 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
3.0 étoiles sur 5 One of those reviews I hate to write 7 avril 2014
Par Scott - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format:Format Kindle|Achat vérifié
I both loved and hated this book. In a nutshell I loved the core story running through it. The problem was that that core story should have spanned 3 maybe 4 books. There were so many places where the story was not much more than an outline and so much character and relationship development just wasn't done at all. It went from no relationship to full blown and then back to none with zero details. There were also about four main divisions in the story that each if properly detailed could have been a full book. Thats the good...

Now for the bad.
1 The editing is just about non existent. Many places in the book have no punctuation at all and even paragraphs that are all run together. Major spelling issues with words phonetically similar but with different meanings. Changes in point of view from one character to the next that are two sharp and leave you confused for a bit. Proper punctuation would have helped a little but even that wouldn't have totally fixed it.
2 There are major issues in the basic world building in the science. Distances between ships and duration of speed and distance were very jarring in their misapplication. Also references to traveling to other galaxies when I'm pretty sure what was meant was just travel to other solar systems in our galaxy. There were a lot of related issues through out the book.
3. Relationships.. the main character got and lost all the women in the book. With usually no build up to getting them and no build up to him losing them. I love a good story where the guy gets the girls but I also like some character development. Some of the relationships had a bit of that and others had none. It's not that the author doesn't have the skill but that they just didn't flesh the story out enough and basically left it at a first draft or even outline stage for the relationships.
3. Transitions from civilian to military and then from rank and posting to gaining rank and postings were done at the same level of detail.. little to none and many of them were very unrealistic.

Mr. Hanks... I hate to be this critical of your book but you need me to be. If you had no talent I would have simply given a few words and a 1 star rating and moved on. Instead I gave you 3 stars because I actually did read and enjoy your book even over all the issues I have related. You have a nascent talent to tell stories. I read the entire book and enjoyed it such that it was. I think that you need to pick up some books on sci-fi world building (you can do a search on amazon for world building and science fiction and several will show up. The science of space is a weak point that you need to address if you are going to write science fiction). You also need to do a little research on the military to give a little depth to the military side of your story. Mostly you need to not be a lazy writer. That is blunt but I think your worth the bluntness. You worked your ass off writing this massive story line and I think got tired and just published it. You needed to spend a few hundred dollars to get an editor to read it and give you some feed back. They would have had you break it up into a series and turn each of the separate stories into a book. Or they would have made you get rid of 3/4's of it and flesh out one of the sections into a tighter story. As it stands instead of just under 400 pages this thing should have been 4 books and about 1500 pages. Honestly I would pull it down off amazon and pull the section ending with them getting back from the science voyage and before he joins the military and separate it there. Then go back and work on character development to flesh out the first book and republish it as a series. The second book would be military career up till just after the battle and before he is sent to science school. Third book would be science school up till he is discharged. 4th book is from there till the end or till the military ship pulls him out of space and then do a 5th that starts there and ends with the current ending. Build each of those sections into a full 250 to 350 page book. For character development that would work great with your story style look at Nathan Lowell's series Trader's Tales from the Golden Age of the Solar Clipper for a series that does an incredible job of that. Or maybe Peter Grants Take The Star Road (The Maxwell Saga) as another example. I think you could potentially be as good as either of them if you can do that kind of character development. Last you need an editor, I am slack about stuff like that and a lot of the time wont even ding someone for bad editing but you have not just run on sentences but run on paragraphs and sections with no punctuation at all. There are a lot of independent editors that you can hire for a few hundred dollars to work with you on that.

You have the grand story in your head, you just need to flesh it out and give it and your characters life. Then get it edited to a decent standard. Good luck to you sir and I hope to see more of you in the years to come.
6 internautes sur 6 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
3.0 étoiles sur 5 sorry 29 mars 2014
Par Johnathan Gladen - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format:Format Kindle|Achat vérifié
To start I thoroughly enjoyed the story . And I really dislike reviews that seem to be resumes from want to be editors . But ... The misspellings , hay instead of hey and the poor punctuation made a REALLY good story a little hard to get through .
5 internautes sur 5 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
1.0 étoiles sur 5 Good story line, bad every thing else. 8 avril 2014
Par Dianne Renner - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format:Format Kindle|Achat vérifié
Finally gave up, no punctuation, miss spelled and miss used words. Cannot believe someone would publish without reviewing at least once.
2 internautes sur 2 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
4.0 étoiles sur 5 Needs good editing 20 mars 2014
Par Amazon Customer - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format:Format Kindle|Achat vérifié
So I finished reading this book. The story is pretty damn good, but it is in sore need of good editing. I'm guessing that the author used voice-to-text while writing this book since it is filled with bad grammar and incorrectly used words(their,there,they're to give an example). The story flowed sort of smoothly, again, just guessing this is where the author stopped and restarted. With a good editor and some basic rewrites in the story flow, the story would be be excellent.

If you can make it through the issues I listed above, the story is really quite good. Maybe better in a trilogy, but still good. The author definately has potential.
1 internautes sur 1 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
1.0 étoiles sur 5 the writer can't be over 10 years old!!! 27 mai 2014
Par war gamer - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format:Format Kindle|Achat vérifié
I passed high school English with a D- ave. and I can write and punctuate far better than this. I gave up reading it about half way, because I spent more time trying to figure out the punctuation, than reading the story. the story line is ok, but trying to keep the story line in sight was more than I could stand. it needs a -1 star.
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