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The Bro Code for Parents [Anglais] [Broché]

Barney Stinson , Matt Kuhn
5.0 étoiles sur 5  Voir tous les commentaires (2 commentaires client)
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Description de l'ouvrage

2 octobre 2012
So you’re going to be a parent.

You might be asking yourself a series of important questions:

Will I be a good parent? • Will I be able to afford this? • Can I ever have sex again?

Well, the answer to all these questions is a rock-solid no. But just because your existence is now a petrifying turd on the canvas of life doesn’t mean your kid has to be as lame as you’re about to become. That’s why I’ve written this book—to teach you how to be an awesomommy or legendaddy.

The Bro Code for Parents will help you:

Choose a baby name that won’t get your kid stuffed into a junior high locker •

Interview and hire a smokin’ hot nanny • Teach your child instant classics like “The Boobs on the Bus” and “Bro, Bro, Bro Your Boat”

With full-color illustrations, interactive work sheets, and even suggestions for how to turn a stroller into a broller, The Bro Code for Parents gives you all the tools you’ll need to raise your child to be almost as awesome as I am. Almost.

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Produits fréquemment achetés ensemble

The Bro Code for Parents + The Playbook: Suit up. Score chicks. Be awesome. + The Bro Code
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Descriptions du produit

Extrait

GOLDISLUT AND THE THREE BROS

nce upon a time there were three Bros: Barney Bro, Marshall Bro, and Ted Bro. They were going out later for what would no doubt be another legendary night and decided to go pound some shots at the bar to get properly psyched.

Just then Goldislut, a blond hottie who lived upstairs, wandered into their pad, looking to borrow some sugar, if you know what I mean. She decided to sit down and wait for the Bros to get back. Barney’s chair was too hard (what up!), Ted’s chair was too soft, and Marshall’s chair was okay I guess, though it leans awkwardly to the left and he should really get that checked out.

Soon Goldislut grew tired of waiting and went into the bedroom to lie down. Marshall’s bed was too dirty, Ted’s bed was too rigid from inactivity, but Barney’s bed was just right, despite being so big—Goldislut liked it that way.

When the three Bros came home, they found their lair a mess. Marshall Bro said, “Someone’s been sitting in my chair!” Barney Bro said, “Someone’s been sitting in my chair!” And Ted Bro said, “At least something of mine is getting sat on.”

They went into the bedroom and saw Goldislut asleep in Barney’s bed. When she awoke, she winked sexily at Barney Bro but was understandably frightened by Ted Bro and Marshall Bro. Barney Bro kicked them out and gave Goldislut some sugar. Then he had sex with her.

The End

GETTING JACKED

Until your child can walk on his own, you’ll be forced to carry him around in your arms since many cultures frown upon dragging a baby behind you on a tow rope. It can be quite the workout since it’s just like carrying a 25 pound dumbbell everywhere you go . . . if the dumbbell squirmed, drooled, and frequently crapped all over itself. The good news is you’ll quickly start to notice some dramatic muscle growth: your biceps will bulge out faster than when Popeye chugs a can of spinach, your triceps will harden faster than when Bruce Banner gets angry and hulks out, and your forearms will tone faster than when a fourteen-year-old hits puberty and starts cranking his deal like it’s a stubborn can of spray paint.

ARE YOU READY TO BE
A PARENT?


s you consider having a child, one of the first questions you should ask yourself is, “Am I sober right now?” We’ve all made a poor decision while drunk, be it reenacting the van surfing scene from Teen Wolf or sleeping with a balding chick or commandeering a police horse to escape the balding chick . . . but this is too important a decision to make while under the influence of alcohol.

The question you really need to ask yourself is, “Am I ready to be a parent?” Becoming a mother or a father requires a whole new set of responsibilities, such as

Getting home every single night before 3 AM

Trading in your wardrobe for ugly sweaters and high-riding “slacks”

Watching and having an informed opinion on each week’s Extreme Makeover: Home Edition

Paying taxes

Having sex almost exclusively with just one other person

Many people are understandably nervous about these types of lifestyle changes and aren’t ready to trade in an invigorating social life, geographic mobility, disposable income, a rewarding sense of self, relative quiet, exercise, a flexible calendar, and regular sleep patterns for the joy of wiping diarrhea off a baby’s legs, hands, and face.

Biographie de l'auteur

Barney Stinson works at a corporation, and regularly "suits up" to help his lovelorn and altogether pathetic bro Ted Mosby. Basically the coolest dude ever, Barney Stinson has been compared to the Fonz-but Barney is much, much more awesome. Stinson lives in New York, New York-and appears weekly on the hit CBS show "How I Met Your Mother" with his friends Ted, Robin, Lily and Marshall.

Matt Kuhn is a staff writer for the CBS hit show "How I Met Your Mother" and helps write Barney's Blog on the show's website. He lives in Los Angeles, California.

Détails sur le produit

  • Broché: 176 pages
  • Editeur : Simon & Schuster (2 octobre 2012)
  • Langue : Anglais
  • ISBN-10: 1451690584
  • ISBN-13: 978-1451690583
  • Dimensions du produit: 21,5 x 18,8 x 1 cm
  • Moyenne des commentaires client : 5.0 étoiles sur 5  Voir tous les commentaires (2 commentaires client)
  • Classement des meilleures ventes d'Amazon: 102.626 en Livres anglais et étrangers (Voir les 100 premiers en Livres anglais et étrangers)
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Couverture | Copyright | Table des matières | Extrait
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Commentaires client les plus utiles
5.0 étoiles sur 5 Awesome 20 juin 2013
Format:Broché|Achat vérifié
Un super cadeau à faire à tous les nouveaux parents. Comme le vrai bro code, il est rempli d'illustrations et de règles awesome :)
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5.0 étoiles sur 5 Drôle 2 avril 2013
Format:Broché|Achat vérifié
Dans la droite lignée des autres "ouvrages" de Barney Stinson (The Bro Code, The Playbook). C'est dans l'esprit de la série, c'est drôle et décalé.
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Commentaires client les plus utiles sur Amazon.com (beta)
Amazon.com: 4.5 étoiles sur 5  34 commentaires
2 internautes sur 2 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 Great Product 20 novembre 2012
Par Brad - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format:Broché|Achat vérifié
Not as good as some of the original books but still a very enjoyable read, High recommended along with The Bro Code, Bro on the Go, and The Playbook.
1 internautes sur 1 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
3.0 étoiles sur 5 Nowhere Near the Quality of the Other Bro Code Books 21 novembre 2013
Par James N Simpson - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format:Format Kindle
For me this is a running out of ideas, cashing in on the success of the other books and the TV show How I Met Your Mother's popularity type of publication. Most of the stuff in here is a long way beyond what Barney Stinson would actually write, and is just immature lame toilet humour at best. There is the odd parody of children's picture books (or at least the covers) of the Giving Tree, Goodnight Moon, Where the Wild Things Are as well as parodies of nursery rhymes with new titles such as Mary Had a Little Bang, Little Jack Horny, Bro MacDonald that are okay, but the rest of the book is pretty much just filler. I'd check this one out from your local library before paying any money for it.
2 internautes sur 3 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 Gift for Future Parents 3 décembre 2012
Par Terry - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format:Broché|Achat vérifié
I gave this gift to my brother and sister-in-law who recently had a baby. This is a very funny book and they have througouhly enjoyed what they've read so far. I would recommend as a gift for first time parents.
3.0 étoiles sur 5 Meh. 8 juillet 2014
Par Ragel - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format:Broché|Achat vérifié
I love me some Barney stories, and I love that his spin is all throughout the book but...the book really wasn't that impressive. I skimmed through it in about 5 - 10 minutes and was done. No need to read back through it, and no desire to read the whole thing.
5.0 étoiles sur 5 Read some of this before I bought it. I ... 4 juillet 2014
Par Michelle - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format:Broché|Achat vérifié
Read some of this before I bought it. I previewed it by clicking the "Look Inside!" button next to the picture on Amazon. It's hilarious, as expected.
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