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The Girl Behind The Door: A Father's Journey Into The Mystery Of Attachment (Anglais) Broché – 7 février 2014

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John Brooks was a senior financial executive in the broadcast and media industry until tragedy struck. Since Casey’s death, he has turned to writing, mental health activism, speaking engagements and volunteer work with teenagers in Marin County, California. He also maintains a blog,, where he educates other adoptive families about attachment parenting and therapy techniques. Mr. Brooks has been featured on the Dr. Phil Show, NPR-affiliate, KQED-FM, the San Francisco Chronicle and the Marin Independent Journal. Casey’s story has also appeared in San Francisco Magazine.

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Commentaires client les plus utiles sur (beta) 85 commentaires
10 internautes sur 11 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
A poignant and compelling personal account of love and loss of a child 13 février 2014
Par Kimberly A. Yulsman - Publié sur
Format: Broché Achat vérifié
John Brooks hands us his heart and soul in this deeply personal account of his and his wife's unconditional love for and ongoing parenting struggles with their adopted child Casey, who at the age of 17, took her own life. This story evokes horror at the discovery their child has committed suicide. We are treated to the Brookses joy and anxiety of welcoming a long awaited adopted baby into their lives as well as many happy memories. We agonize with them during the years of frustration and guilt over their inability to understand and "control" certain behaviors, which they assumed was normal and which they were constantly told was "a phase." Customary parenting techniques and discipline did not seem to work on Casey's ongoing behavioral issues that began as a young child. Multiple therapists failed to identify or shed light on what might be causing Casey's difficulties. It wasn't until after Casey's death that John discovered and began exploring an obscure condition, common among abandoned, neglected and/or abused children, known as attachment disorder. Considering Casey's first 14 months were spent in an orphanage in Poland, John began to unravel the mystery of Casey's personality and inner demons. I would not only recommend this book for parents with adopted children or expecting adoption, but to anyone who can appreciate the dedicated love, understanding and perseverance required to raise a child. This book is well written and a quick read.
5 internautes sur 5 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
Adoptee endorsement 3 mai 2014
Par A. Andrews - Publié sur
Format: Broché Achat vérifié
As an adoptee, I struggled with reading this book.
It's painful to hear Casey's story told from her parent, who was trying to piece together the story, after it was too late. I so wish we could hear her perspective and voice.

I live in the Bay Area and have mutual people in common with the Brooks. I fantasize that I could have met Casey at a neighborhood block party and been the perspective she had been searching for, that would have made her feel like she wasn't crazy for failing to adequately accept love and affection.

I do dispute John's belief that open adoptions can help adoptees feel less abandoned.
Being removed from the biological mother, after 9 months of growing together, still FEELS like abandonment, no matter the intention or agreement made by mutual parties on my behalf.

I am certain that I was very aware that I was separated from my biological mother at the age of 1 week, and it has impacted my outlook on life ever since. You can't logically explain to a newborn why the person who grew you for 9 months has suddenly disappeared.

That being said, I am grateful to John for sharing their story, for owning the mistakes, misunderstandings, miscommunications and ways they could have done things better.
He is starting to get it now, 6 years too late.

My love to John, Erika and Igor.
Casey, I am so sorry I never knew you.
Hope I get to see you in the next life- bastards unite!
5 internautes sur 5 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
A must read 15 février 2014
Par Matthew Derosier - Publié sur
Format: Format Kindle Achat vérifié
This book is a painfully honest memior of one family's experience with international adoption and reactive attachment disorder. Unfortunately, many families face similar circumstances, where they are not informed or trained in how to parent such children. Every adoptive parent needs to read this.
4 internautes sur 4 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
Powerful story 2 mai 2014
Par Donna Taylor - Publié sur
Format: Format Kindle Achat vérifié
I am so grateful that this book was written. I have shared it with my mother and hope to be able to have my two older (non-adopted) sons to read it as well, so that maybe they can learn to understand the screaming, the yelling and "bad behavior" our younger (adopted) sons display. I think the story does a tremendous job of showing the huge amount of love we have for our children while also experiencing extreme frustration dealing with their many issues. We have been educating ourselves on how to raise our little ones. It's funny how much pre-screening, seminars, talks and paperwork are involved in a home study - then as soon as the child comes home "kaput!" - there are no more resources. This book should be put in every foster care/adoption "kit" for prospective families! John - thank your for sharing your family's story. Even though you wrote it (as Casey's dad), I connected with your wife just as much. I am so grateful Casey whispered in your ear to write this book.
6 internautes sur 7 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
This book provides the possible solution to a very troubling puzzle 13 février 2014
Par Laurie - Publié sur
Format: Format Kindle Achat vérifié
This book is a must read for parents everywhere, whether or not they have adopted. As I read the first part of the book which chronicled Casey's life, being a parent of three sons, I couldn't help but think of many similar instances of rebellion and heartbreak with my own children, my successes and failures as a parent. However, what stood out was the fine line between "normal" behavior and a red flag of a deeper problem. As I read about every stage of Casey's life and John & Erika's experience, I grappled with the puzzle, wondering what it was that was going on, much as they did while they were living through it. I felt as though it was a massive puzzle, with a thousand pieces, with pieces missing, frustrated with not being able to put it together. Then John provides the big picture, the "solution" that unfortunately he found out too late. Casey's adoption from a Polish orphanage after 14 months of poor care answered the puzzle: Attachment Disorder. It gave the blueprint for the puzzle which many mental health professionals missed. The fact that other adoptees from similar circumstances had the same issues confirmed it. It is heartbreaking that Casey could not benefit from this knowledge through no fault of hers or her parents. Clearly she was a well of potential, bright & beautiful, capable of becoming an accomplished woman. The tremendous help that this book can give to thousands of others is immeasurable and knowing that, hopefully will give some solace to John & Erika.
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