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The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Restoring the Character Ethic [Anglais] [Broché]

Stephen R. Covey
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Amazon.co.uk Review According to Steven R. Covey, to live with security and wisdom, and to have the power to take advantages of the opportunities that change creates, we need fairness, integrity, honesty and human dignity. Quite a tall order when you consider that most of us live our lives in a permanent state of flux, questioning our ideals and values and fighting a daily battle with the lack of self-confidence that stops us from taking risks of any kind. But, in The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Covey manages to make it sound as if changing the way we look at ourselves and the world around us so that we can become more successful both personally and professionally an absolute doddle. He defines the "habits" as "the intersection of knowledge, skill and desire" and states that the "Seven Habits" of the title are not mutually exclusive, but rather when developed together help to form a well-rounded, sensitive, confident and effective human being. As with many self-help books, much of what you read here is based on basic common sense and can at times be irritatingly obvious. However, what Covey manages to do so successfully is to break down the barriers which prevent all of us from taking a long hard look at ourselves, and then gradually introduces new rules which allow us to move first from dependence to independence and then towards the ultimate goal of interdependence. But of course, the only real way to test the value of The Habits--be proactive, begin with the end in mind, put first things first, think "win/win", seek first to understand and then to be understood, synergise, sharpen the saw-- is to work on them. This book is as good as any place to start on the road to self-awareness and self-improvement in the workplace and in the home without becoming too irritatingly smug and self-satisfied. --Susan Harrison --Ce texte fait référence à l'édition Broché .

Extrait

Chapter 1

Inside-Out

There is no real excellence in all this world

which can be separated from right living.


David Starr Jordan

In more than 25 years of working with people in business, university, and marriage and family settings, I have come in contact with many individuals who have achieved an incredible degree of outward success, but have found themselves struggling with an inner hunger, a deep need for personal congruency and effectiveness and for healthy, growing relationships with other people.

I suspect some of the problems they have shared with me may be familiar to you.

I've set and met my career goals and I'm having tremendous professional success. But it's cost me my personal and family life. I don't know my wife and children any more. I'm not even sure I know myself and what's really important to me. I've had to ask myself -- is it worth it?

I've started a new diet -- for the fifth time this year. I know I'm overweight, and I really want to change. I read all the new information, I set goals, I get myself all psyched up with a positive mental attitude and tell myself I can do it. But I don't. After a few weeks, I fizzle. I just can't seem to keep a promise I make to myself.

I've taken course after course on effective management training. I expect a lot out of my employees and I work hard to be friendly toward them and to treat them right. But I don't feel any loyalty from them. I think if I were home sick for a day, they'd spend most of their time gabbing at the water fountain. Why can't I train them to be independent and responsible -- or find employees who can be?

My teenage son is rebellious and on drugs. No matter what I try, he won't listen to me. What can I do?

There's so much to do. And there's never enough time. I feel pressured and hassled all day, every day, seven days a week. I've attended time management seminars and I've tried half a dozen different planning systems. They've helped some, but I still don't feel I'm living the happy, productive, peaceful life I want to live.

I want to teach my children the value of work. But to get them to do anything, I have to supervise every move...and put up with complaining every step of the way. It's so much easier to do it myself. Why can't children do their work cheerfully and without being reminded?

I'm busy -- really busy. But sometimes I wonder if what I'm doing will make any difference in the long run. I'd really like to think there was meaning in my life, that somehow things were different because I was here.

I see my friends or relatives achieve some degree of success or receive some recognition, and I smile and congratulate them enthusiastically. But inside, I'm eating my heart out. Why do I feel this way?

I have a forceful personality. I know, in almost any interaction, I can control the outcome. Most of the time, I can even do it by influencing others to come up with the solution I want. I think through each situation and I really feel the ideas I come up with are usually the best for everyone. But I feel uneasy. I always wonder what other people really think of me and my ideas.

My marriage has gone fiat. We don't fight or anything; we just don't love each other anymore. We've gone to counseling; we've tried a number of things, but we just can't seem to rekindle the feeling we used to have.


These are deep problems, painful problems -- problems that quick fix approaches can't solve.

A few years ago, my wife Sandra and I were struggling with this kind of concern. One of our sons was having a very difficult time in school. He was doing poorly academically; he didn't even know how to follow the instructions on the tests, let alone do well on them. Socially he was immature, often embarrassing those closest to him. Athletically, he was small, skinny, and uncoordinated -- swinging his baseball bat, for example, almost before the ball was even pitched. Others would laugh at him.

Sandra and I were consumed with a desire to help him. We felt that if "success" were important in any area of life, it was supremely important in our role as parents. So we worked on our attitudes and behavior toward him and we tried to work on his. We attempted to psych him up using positive mental attitude techniques. "Come on, son! You can do it! We know you can. Put your hands a little higher on the bat and keep your eye on the ball. Don't swing till it gets close to you." And if he did a little better, we would go to great lengths to reinforce him. "That's good, son, keep it up."

When others laughed, we reprimanded them. "Leave him alone. Get off his back. He's just learning." And our son would cry and insist that he'd never be any good and that he didn't like baseball anyway.

Nothing we did seemed to help, and we were really worried. We could see the effect this was having on his self-esteem. We tried to be encouraging and helpful and positive, but after repeated failure, we finally drew back and tried to look at the situation on a different level.

At this time in my professional role I was involved in leadership development work with various clients throughout the country. In that capacity I was preparing bimonthly programs on the subject of communication and perception for IBM's Executive Development Program participants.

As I researched and prepared these presentations, I became particularly interested in how perceptions are formed, how they govern the way we see, and how the way we see governs how we behave. This led me to a study of expectancy theory and self-fulfilling prophecies or the "Pygmalion effect," and to a realization of how deeply imbedded our perceptions are. It taught me that we must look at the lens through which we see the world, as well as at the world we see, and that the lens itself shapes how we interpret the world.

As Sandra and I talked about the concepts I was teaching at IBM and about our own situation, we began to realize that what we were doing to help our son was not in harmony with the way we really saw him. When we honestly examined our deepest feelings, we realized that our perception was that he was basically inadequate, somehow "behind." No matter how much we worked on our attitude and behavior, our efforts were ineffective because, despite our actions and our words, what we really communicated to him was, "You aren't capable. You have to be protected."

We began to realize that if we wanted to change the situation, we first had to change ourselves. And to change ourselves effectively, we first had to change our perceptions.

The Personality and Character Ethics

At the same time, in addition to my research on perception, I was also deeply immersed in an in-depth study of the success literature published in the United States since 1776. I was reading or scanning literally hundreds of books, articles, and essays in fields such as self-improvement, popular psychology, and self-help. At my fingertips was the sum and substance of what a free and democratic people considered to be the keys to successful living.

As my study took me back through 200 years of writing about success, I noticed a startling pattern emerging in the content of the literature. Because of our own pain, and because of similar pain I had seen in the lives and relationships of many people I had worked with through the years, I began to feel more and more that much of the success literature of the past 50 years was superficial. It was filled with social image consciousness, techniques and quick fixes -- with social band-aids and aspirin that addressed acute problems and sometimes even appeared to solve them temporarily, but left the underlying chronic problems untouched to fester and resurface time and again.

In stark contrast, almost all the literature in the first 150 years or so focused on what could be called the Character Ethic as the foundation of success -- things like integrity, humility, fidelity, temperance, courage, justice, patience, industry, simplicity, modesty, and the Golden Rule. Benjamin Franklin's autobiography is representative of that literature. It is, basically, the story of one man's effort to integrate certain principles and habits deep within his nature.

The Character Ethic taught that there are basic principles of effective living, and that people can only experience true success and enduring happiness as they learn and integrate these principles into their basic character.

But shortly after World War I the basic view of success shifted from the Character Ethic to what we might call the Personality Ethic. Success became more a function of personality, of public image, of attitudes and behaviors, skills and techniques, that lubricate the processes of human interaction. This Personality Ethic essentially took two paths: one was human and public relations techniques, and the other was positive mental attitude (PMA). Some of this philosophy was expressed in inspiring and sometimes valid maxims such as "Your attitude determines your altitude," "Smiling wins more friends than frowning," and "Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe it can achieve."

Other parts of the personality approach were clearly manipulative, even deceptive, encouraging people to use techniques to get other people to like them, or to fake interest in the hobbies of others to get out of them what they wanted, or to use the "power look," or to intimidate their way through life.

Some of this literature acknowledged character as an ingredient of success, but tended to compartmentalize it rather than recognize it as foundational and catalytic. Reference to the Character Ethic became mostly lip service; the basic thrust was quick-fix influence techniques, power strategies, communication skills, and positive attitudes.

This Personality Ethic, I began to realize, was the subconscious source of the solutions Sandra and I were attempting to use with our son. As I thought more deeply about the difference between the ... --Ce texte fait référence à une édition épuisée ou non disponible de ce titre.

Détails sur le produit

  • Broché: 368 pages
  • Editeur : Simon & Schuster Australia; Édition : Reprint (1 septembre 1990)
  • Collection : A Fireside book
  • Langue : Anglais
  • ISBN-10: 0440242797
  • ISBN-13: 978-0671663988
  • ASIN: 0671708635
  • Dimensions du produit: 0,4 x 14,7 x 21,6 cm
  • Moyenne des commentaires client : 4.8 étoiles sur 5  Voir tous les commentaires (16 commentaires client)
  • Classement des meilleures ventes d'Amazon: 141.826 en Livres anglais et étrangers (Voir les 100 premiers en Livres anglais et étrangers)
  • Table des matières complète
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Première phrase
IN MORE THAN 25 YEARS of working with people in business, university, and marriage and family settings, I have come in contact with many individuals who have achieved an incredible degree of outward success, but have found themselves struggling with an inner hunger, a deep need for personal congruency and effectiveness and for healthy, growing relationships with other people. Lire la première page
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Couverture | Copyright | Table des matières | Extrait | Index | Quatrième de couverture
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15 internautes sur 15 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
4.0 étoiles sur 5 Good book full of human truths, but is it "all that"? 20 juillet 2001
Format:Broché
Be advised: The Seven Habits are not "No Money Down."
The Seven Habits are about restructuring and reprioritizing your life, redefining success and thereby attaining it. Make youreself a success at life first, and the other rewards will fall into place.
There is nothing new in the book, though that doesn't mean there is nothing eye-opening or moving. A truth regained can, after all, be as revelatory as a truth discovered.
Accustomed to somewhat heavier, drier tomes of eastern thought, I found this book a bit sugary... easy to digest, but just as easily gone from the system once I put the book down. A more modern reader, however, may find it just the ticket; and I found reading it with my wife to be more meaningful than reading it alone.
So, the book may or may not literally change your life depending on your investment in it, but there are far worse things you could be spending your time reading, and is not the pursuit of the way also the way?
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1 internautes sur 1 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 Génial! 20 mai 2014
Par Noisette
Format:CD|Achat vérifié
Mais pourquoi diable n'apprend-t-on pas ça à l'école?
Il s'agit en fait d'une suite de comportements liés au bon sens, mais ça n'est pas si évident dans notre société corrompue! Autrement dit, retour à l'écoute de soi même, des autres et au respect!
Un grand merci à l'auteur qui a eu le courage d'écrire... et d'appliquer tout ça!
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Format:Relié|Achat vérifié
Cet ouvrage est une référence dans le domaine de l'efficacité personnelle, en particulier pour les managers avec des approches incontournables comme la matrice des priorités ou le cercle d'influence.
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4.0 étoiles sur 5 Effective 20 février 2014
Par delia
Format:Broché|Achat vérifié
Well structured information, practical exercises, examples, personal testimonials, quite everything is in there. I think it's an useful tool for self (re-)shaping.
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5.0 étoiles sur 5 A life-changing work 30 janvier 2014
Par K. Bohme
Format:Format Kindle|Achat vérifié
I love this book. I read it through once, went back and read it agan, and am now going through highlighting important points and trying to put them into practice. Some of it may seem obvious, but we forget to use them often in our daily lives.
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5.0 étoiles sur 5 excellent book 26 janvier 2014
Format:Format Kindle|Achat vérifié
This book provides solutions to most problems I'm facing in my life. It gives methods that help me to understand myself, find motivation within, and to make communication with people more open and easy. The approaches described in the book helped me to change deeply my character, to become confident, motivated, organised and to develop integrity.
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5.0 étoiles sur 5 One of the best personal development book 20 janvier 2014
Format:Broché|Achat vérifié
Ce livre est une référence . A mettre entre toutes les mains! Suivre les 7 habitudes permet de changer sa vie et d'atteindre ses objectifs.
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5.0 étoiles sur 5 A valuable read 22 décembre 2013
Par Livia A
Format:Format Kindle|Achat vérifié
This is one of the most remarkable self-management books I have come across so far. The book is written in an easy-to-read and easy-to-handle way; if a particular chapter or concept interests you more than the others, you can dive into it without having to read the entire book, however, I would recommend you read it from start to end! Read it thoroughly, read it again and start applying the principles in your everyday life.
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