The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens (Anglais) Broché – 27 mai 2014
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Get in the Habit
THEY MAKE YOU OR BREAK YOU
Welcome! My name is Sean and I wrote this book. I don’t know how you got it. Maybe your mom gave it to you to shape you up. Or maybe you bought it with your own money because the title caught your eye. Regardless of how it landed in your hands, I’m really glad it did. Now you just need to read it.
We first make our habits, then our habits make us.
A lot of teens read books, but I wasn’t one of them. (I did read several book summaries, however.) So if you’re like I was, you may be ready to shelve this book. But before you do that, hear me out. If you promise to read on, I’ll promise to make it an adventure. In fact, to keep it fun, I’ve stuffed it with cartoons, clever ideas, great quotes, and powerful stories about real teens from all over the world . . . along with a few other surprises. So, with that in mind: will you give it a try?
Let’s dive in, then. This book is based on another book that my dad, Stephen R. Covey, wrote several years ago entitled The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Surprisingly, that book has become one of the best-selling books of all time. He owes a lot of the credit for its success to me and my brothers and sisters, however. You see, we were his guinea pigs. He tried out all of his psycho experiments on us, and that’s why my brothers and sisters have major emotional problems (just kidding, siblings). Luckily, I escaped uninjured.
So why did I write this book? I wrote it because life for teens is no playground. It’s a jungle out there. And if I’ve done my job right, this book can be like a compass to help you navigate through it. Unlike my dad’s book, which was written for old people (and can get really boring at times), this book was written especially for teens and is always interesting.
Although I’m a retired teenager, I still remember what it was like to be one. I could’ve sworn I was riding an emotional roller coaster most of the time. Looking back, I’m actually amazed that I survived. Barely. I’ll never forget the time in seventh grade when I fell in love with a girl named Nicole. I told my friend Clar to tell her that I liked her (I was too scared to speak directly to girls so I used messengers). Clar completed his mission and returned and reported.
“Hey, Sean, I told Nicole that you liked her.”
“What’d she say!?” I asked impatiently.
“She said, ‘Ohh, Sean? He’s fat!’ ” Clar laughed.
I was devastated. I felt like hiding in my room and never coming out again. I vowed to hate girls for life. Luckily my hormones prevailed and I began liking girls again.
I’ve interviewed a lot of teens in the making of this book. I suspect that some of the struggles they shared with me will be familiar to you too:
“There’s too much to do and not enough time. I’ve got school, homework, job, friends, parties, and family on top of everything else. I’m totally stressed out. Help!”
“How can I feel good about myself when I don’t match up? Everywhere I look I am reminded that someone else is smarter, or prettier, or more popular. I can’t help but think, ‘If I only had her hair, her clothes, her personality, her boyfriend, then I’d be happy.’ ”
“If I could only get my parents off my back I might be able to live my life. It seems they’re constantly nagging, and I can’t ever seem to satisfy them.”
“I know I’m not living the way I should. I’m into everything—drugs, drinking, sex, you name it. But when I’m with my friends, I give in and just do what everyone else is doing.”
“I’ve started another diet. I think it’s my fifth one this year. I really do want to change, but I just don’t have the discipline to stick with it. Each time I start a new diet I have hope. But it’s usually only a short time before I blow it. And then I feel awful.”
“I’m not doing too well in school right now. If I don’t get my grades up I’ll never get into college.”
“I’m moody and get depressed often and I don’t know what to do about it.”
“I feel as if my life is out of control.”
These problems are real, and you can’t turn off real life. I won’t pretend you can. Instead, I’ll give you a set of tools to help you deal with real life. What are they? The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens or, said another way, the seven characteristics that happy and successful teens all over the world have in common.
By now, you’re probably wondering what these habits are so I might as well end the suspense. Here they are, followed by a brief explanation:
Take responsibility for your life.
Begin with the End in Mind
Define your mission and goals in life.
Put First Things First
Prioritize, and do the most important things first.
Have an everyone-can-win attitude.
Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood
Listen to people sincerely.
Work together to achieve more.
Sharpen the Saw
Renew yourself regularly.
As the above diagram shows, the habits build upon one another. Habits 1, 2, and 3 deal with self-mastery. We call it the “private victory.” Habits 4, 5, and 6 deal with relationships and teamwork. We call it the “public victory.” You’ve got to get your personal act together before you can be a good team player. That’s why the private victory comes before the public victory. The last habit, Habit 7, is the habit of renewal. It feeds all of the other six habits.
The habits seem pretty simple, don’t they? But just wait till you see how powerful they can be! One great way to understand what the 7 Habits are is to understand what they are not. So here are the opposites, or:
The 7 Habits of Highly Defective Teens
Habit 1: React
Blame all of your problems on your parents, your stupid teachers, your lousy neighborhood, your boy- or girlfriend, the government, or something or somebody else. Be a victim. Take no responsibility for your life. If you’re hungry, eat. If you’re bored, make trouble. If someone yells at you, yell back. If you feel like doing something you know is wrong, go for it.
Habit 2: Begin with No End in Mind
Don’t have a plan. Avoid goals at all costs. And never think about tomorrow. Why worry about the consequences of your actions? Live for the moment. Sleep around, get wasted, and party on, for tomorrow you die.
Habit 3: Put First Things Last
Whatever is most important in your life, don’t do it until you have spent sufficient time watching videos of cute animals on YouTube, texting endlessly, and lounging around. Always put off studying until tomorrow. Make sure that fun things come before important things.
Habit 4: Think Win-Lose
See life as a vicious competition. If you want to be at the top of the popularity list, you’d better knock someone else off first. Don’t let anyone else succeed at anything because, remember, if they win, you lose. If it looks like you’re going to lose, however, make sure you drag that sucker down with you.
Habit 5: Seek First to Talk, Then Pretend to Listen
You were born with a mouth, so use it. Talk a lot. Always express your side of the story first. Once everyone understands your views, pretend to listen to theirs by nodding and saying “uh-huh” while daydreaming about what’s for lunch. Or, if you really want their opinion, give it to them.
Habit 6: Don’t Cooperate
Let’s face it, other people are weird because they’re different from you. So why try to get along with them? Teamwork’s for the dogs. Since you always have the best ideas, you’re better off doing everything by yourself. Be your own island.
Habit 7: Wear Yourself Out
Be so busy with life that you never take time to renew or improve yourself. Never study. Don’t learn anything new. Avoid exercise like the plague. And, for heaven’s sake, stay away from good books, nature, or anything else that may inspire you.
As you can see, the habits listed above are recipes for disaster. Yet many of us indulge in them . . . regularly (me included). And, given this, it’s no wonder that life can really stink at times.
• WHAT EXACTLY ARE HABITS?
Habits are things we do repeatedly. But most of the time we’re hardly aware that we even have them. They’re on autopilot.
Some habits are good, such as:
• Exercising regularly
• Planning ahead
• Showing respect for others
Some are bad, including:
• Thinking negatively
• Feeling inferior
• Blaming others
And some don’t really matter, like:
• Taking showers before bed instead of in the morning
• Putting hot sauce on every meal
• Listening to music while you exercise
Depending on what they are, our habits will either make us or break us. We become what we repeatedly do. As writer Samuel Smiles put it:
Sow a thought, and you reap an act;
Sow an act, and you reap a habit;
Sow a habit, and you reap a character;
Sow a character, and you reap a destiny.
Luckily, you are stronger than your habits. You can change them. For example, try folding your arms. Now fold them in the opposite way. Feels pretty strange, right? But if you folded them in the opposite way for thirty days in a row, it wouldn’t feel so strange. You wouldn’t even have to think about it. You’d get in the habit.
At any time you can look yourself in the mirror and say, “Hey, I don’t like that about myself,” and you can exchange a bad habit for a better one. It may not always be easy, but it’s always possible.
Maybe not every idea in this book will work for you. But you don’t have to be perfect to see results, either. Just living some of the habits some of the time can help you experience changes in your life you never thought possible.
The 7 Habits can help you:
• Get control of your life
• Improve your relationships with your friends
• Make smarter decisions
• Get along with your parents
• Overcome addictions and self-destructive habits
• Define your values and what matters most to you
• Get more done in less time
• Increase your self-confidence
• Be happy
• Find balance between school, work, friends, dating, and everything else
One final point. It’s your book, so use it. Get out a pen or highlighter and mark it up. Don’t be afraid to underline, circle, or bookmark your favorite ideas. Take notes in the margins. Scribble. Reread the stories that inspire you and memorize the quotes that give you hope. Try doing the “baby steps” at the end of each chapter, which were designed to help you start living the habits immediately. You’ll get a lot more out of the book if you do.
You may also want to check out the hotlines and websites listed at the back of the book for additional help or information.
If you’re the kind of reader who likes to skip around looking for cartoons and tidbits, that’s fine. But at some point you ought to read the book from start to finish, because the 7 Habits are sequential. Each chapter builds on the last. Habit 1 comes before Habit 2 (and so on) for a reason.
So what do you say? Make my day and read this book!
Up next, we’ll take a look at ten of the dumbest statements ever made. You don’t want to miss them. So read on!
Revue de presse
“Teens face many challenging issues and It’s great that 7 Habits is now available to help direct teens towards positive living.” (Michael Phelps, 22-time Olympic Medalist and Founder of the Michael Phelps Foundation)
“If you are a teen, or know someone who will be one, have them read this book. It will help them establish a pattern for dealing with change, disappointment and even success. It is truly a powerful, life changing book.” (Derek Hough, Emmy Award winning choreographer)
“A recipe for teenage success!” (Dominique Moceanu, 1996 US Olympic Gold Medalist, Women's Gymnastics and New York Times bestselling author, Off Balance)
"‘Like father, like son’ maybe a cliché, but Sean has proved it to be true. Sean is as effective as his father in providing directions to teens so that their lives become meaningful. Sean's 7 Habits is a book every teenager should read and emulate." (Arun Gandhi, president, Gandhi Worldwide Education Institute)
“Unlike my book on the 7 Habits, this book, by my son Sean, speaks directly to teens in an entertaining and visually appealing style (and Sean, I never thought you listened to a word I said). As prejudiced as this may sound, this is a remarkable book, a must-read!” (Stephen R. Covey, Sean's dad, author of the #1 New York Times bestseller The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People and cofounder and former vice chairman of Franklin Covey Co.)
"Growing up isn’t easy, but with the help of Sean Covey’s book, young adults can learn to navigate through this awkward time and come out on the other side as a highly effective adult." (Erin Gruwell, Founder of Freedom Writers Foundation and author of the #1 New York Times bestseller, The Freedom Writers Diary)
“I wish I'd had this book when I was a teen.” (Shannon Hale, New York Times bestselling author of Newbery Honor winner Princess Academy and The Goose Girl)
“I have long been a fan of Stephen Covey and his book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. In fact, I liked his principles so much that we teach it to our players in the off-season as leadership principles. When I saw Sean’s book on The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens, I was excited to have another weapon to take our players and culture to a higher level. Whether you are a teen or not, you should read this book!” (Anson Dorrance, University of North Carolina Tar Heels women's soccer coach, 22 time national collegiate champion)
“I highly recommend the simple, straight forward advice provided in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens book to teenagers, young adults, and their parents. You’ll hear new perspectives on how to improve your relationships and leadership skills that will positively impact your life, resulting in greater happiness…. And more than that—you will be able to do it and be successful at anything you choose to do. I have personally read it and practiced the timeless principles with my daughters.” (Diana Thomas, U.S. vice president of training, learning & development, McDonalds Corporation)
“Fifteen years ago Sean Covey wrote a powerful book that taught teens that they had the ability to choose their behavior but not the consequences. The decisions that teens make could change their lives forever! Every young person should read The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens. It's a must read for all my students!” (Salome Thomas-El, award-winning educator and author)
“The younger you are when you set your direction and goals and learn the tools that help you get there, the better off you will be. This book defines what it means to succeed and is a must-read for every young adult! I only wish someone had shown it to me during those most formative years of my life! I recommend it to anyone!” (Chelsie Hightower, professional dancer, Dancing With The Stars and So You Think You Can Dance)
“Sean's book helps teenagers to become climbers rather than campers, to live with a goal in mind, and to confront obstacles with a ‘no barriers mindset.’ He urges young people to Make Your Life Extraordinary and provides a pathway which will get them there. In a world with so many distractions and temptations, the guidelines he provides are invaluable to a purposeful and successful life.” (Erik Weihenmayer, blind adventurer, speaker, author, and filmmaker)
“The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens has made it easier than ever before for teens to navigate through life! If you want to live a life of contribution, set and achieve extraordinary goals, and stay focused and organized, practice every habit in Sean's book. It will help you become who you want to be.” (Julie Morgenstern, author of Organizing From the Inside Out for Teens)
“I would highly recommend Sean Covey’s book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens because it teaches whoever reads it how to set goals, get organized, prioritize, make good decisions, and most of all, to help build good character. Take it from me — they are all the things that will help them achieve success in their lives. Sean does a great job with the book.” (Jimmer Fredette, Naismith/ Wooden award winner, NBA player)
“Had my son had the chance to grow up, I know this book would have been a great guide and given him the tools he needed to navigate his way through life. If you are lucky enough to grow up, make mistakes, and learn from them, having someone like Sean guide you with this book is a truly a gift.” (Maya Thompson, founder of The Ronan Thompson Foundation)
“This is an easy-to-understand book full of interesting stories. I really related to Sean’s personal story about the fear of performing in front of people since I am violinist. I’m sure teenagers around the globe will be able to relate as well.” (Emily Inouye, age 14)
“The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens gives you new insight into the meaning of being powerfully successful. It teaches the importance of setting goals and sticking to them in order to achieve your dreams.” (Picabo Street, National Ski Hall of Fame, former member of the US ski team and Olympic gold medalist)
“What? Sean Covey wrote a book? You’ve got to be kidding!!” (Sean’s high school English teacher)
“I used one of the stories from your book in a speech I gave at leadership camp and it helped me to be elected governor! Thanks Sean Covey!!!” (Leisy Oswald, age 16)
“The best way to ‘make it happen’ in your life is to make the right choices as a teen. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens lets teens see themselves as the principal force in their lives, regardless of their background or current walk of life.” (Stedman Graham, founder of Athletes Against Drugs, New York Times bestselling author of You Can Make it Happen and Identity: Your Passport to Success)
“The inspiring examples from real-life problems that teenagers like myself deal with every day, and their experiences and situations, have helped me make lifesaving decisions. I highly recommend this book to any teenager. “ (Jeremy Sommer, age 19)
“For a professional athlete, winning basketball games is important—but winning at the game of life is even more important. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens provides a game plan for teens to become team players with their teammates in life, their families and friends. It presents strategies for becoming a better all-around person and elevating individual skills.” (Sheryl Swoopes, four-time WNBA champion, three-time MVP, NCAA champion, and three-time Olympic gold medalist)
“Today’s teens are the future leaders of our families, communities, and nation. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens teaches them the value of hard work, setting and achieving goals, and taking responsibility and initiative, all of which are characteristics of effective leaders.” (Michael O. Leavitt, former U.S. Secretary of Health and Human Services)
“I have been juggling family, school activities, friends, and after-school responsibilities. When I read The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens it helped me become a more organized person. I used a lot of the cartoons to help me remember stories and examples.” (Joy Denewellis, age 18)
“Stephen Covey must be rightfully proud of his son Sean, who absorbed his father’s lessons well. Those who wish to avoid the temptations and devastation of drugs, including alcohol, would be wise to implement The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens. Written for teenagers, this book is an indispensable tool, helping young people make the right choices, while growing up in the chaos of today. I wish there had been a book like this for those of us who grew up in the sixties.” (Candace Lightner, president of We Save Lives and founder of Mothers Against Drunk Driving)
“Motivation is only a part of the game of life. Self-discipline and self-control are key in making your dreams a reality. This book offers all the tools you need as a teen to be a champion in life.” (Mia Hamm, FIFA's Women's World Player of the Year, former member of the U.S. women's national soccer team)
“Sean’s ‘can do’ examples remind me of how important it is to make the most of what I have. I play a lot of sports, though I’m not a big kid. This book helped me realize that I have to rely on my speed and my smarts if I want to reach my goals.” (Brent Kuik, age 15)
“Powerful but not parental— an important message delivering much more than good advice, it offers true direction to teens living in a challenging, complex world. Covey offers sound, time-tested direction without sounding preachy or parental . . . packaging unquestionable wisdom into a friendly, approachable book that will inspire trust and encourage teens to follow their hearts, rather than simply follow the group.” (Patrick S. O’Brien, author of Making College Count)
“If The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens doesn’t help you, then you must have a perfect life already.” (Jordan McLaughlin, age 17)
“We all have dreams in life we want to achieve and we can reach these dreams if we’re willing to always give 100 percent. This book is an intensive training program for youth to grow and develop so they can become winners in the competition of life.” (Kristi Yamaguchi, U.S. Olympic figure skating gold medalist)
“The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens is a winner! In my years of coaching young people, we learned together that working hard, setting goals, and having a clear vision of your dream enables you to be successful, even when you lose.” (Lou Holtz, former head football coach, Notre Dame University and University of South Carolina, sports analyst for ESPN)
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Commentaires client les plus utiles sur Amazon.com (beta)
My freshmen year of high school was really hard for me, my moms drug use escalated and I felt trapped. I was about to give up and go towards the bad stuff my family did/does. I just wanted to be accepted, I was too weird for the normal kids, but not hardcore enough the kids that let me hang with them.
I had no support, and I felt like I couldn't reach out, after a suicide attempt, I was put into a leadership class and the Curriculum was the Seven habits of highly effective teens
This book helped me:
Over come my family (I moved out when I was 16)
Get better grades (I went from a 1.6-3.8 in one year and graduated with a 2.5)
It helped strengthen my moral goals (and give me some also)
and It helped me take care of myself
I am now 19 a freshmen in college and working towards becoming an abnormal Child Psychologist.
A few good teachers and this book saved me from a life of crime and drugs.
I feel like there are a lot kids out there that need this book, and a few good teachers.
P.s. I still have my copy from my freshmen year, all beat up and highlighted and I re-read it every so often to remind myself of all the awesome stuff in there.
I've read the book and all I can say is that the book does not deliver miracles from heaven that can brilliantly transform your life and make it oh-so-fabulous. It didn't promise that either, by the way.
What it does is to offer tried-and-tested, reliable advice, the kind that your mother or teacher would have given you. Call it rehashed common sense, but the cartoons and quotes make it easier to digest and not-so-painful to internalise. Yes it's naggy, yes it's authoritarian, yes it's condescending at some parts... I don't doubt that. The thing is that in the end, it's still well-intentioned, useful advice. It's perfectly okay to just pick out one chapter, or one quote etc. that means something to you and ditch the rest. Really. Or if you really think that none of it can help you in your life, then take it as a few hours of harmless entertainment, forget about the book and get on with your life. Case closed.
As for those who haven't read the book yet, give it a chance. You might just be able to pick up one or two things here and there which, when put into practice, may just make your life that little bit more sane and less messed-up. Best of luck to you.
Now, as a 19 year old, I recently finished rereading this book just because I found it as I was cleaning out my bookshelf, and I have to say...it's not bad, but it's not that good. I think, perhaps, as the author was aiming for a lower age bracket, he accidentally aimed a little too low.
Here's my breakdown:
- Book is much shorter than the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People yet still conveys the same ideas.
- The writing style is pretty straightforward.
- It offers a lot of examples from teens and a lot of illustrations.
- Book becomes more and more condescending as it goes on.
- At some points, there are just too many examples, and many are rather impersonal--they don't offer the kind of detail that would make a reader actually care. Some of the examples even contradict the Habits.
- A lot of the illustrations are kind of lame (I remember thinking this back at the age of 12, as well). The charts are fine, but most of the cartoons on the side just aren't funny.
- The information in the book is all very intuitive.
I think I will read the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People to see how I feel about it. As for the 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens, I have to say...
1) Do not force a teen to read a self-help book. I've seen that in most of the negative comments, people were forced to read this book for a class in school. I think doing so even goes against the Habits. If you genuinely care about someone's problems, maybe read through the Habits yourself and practice them. Then, you might be able to get your little friend to play along. This book is not that inspiring, and anyone who is forced to read it will easily find a thousand things ridiculous about it.
2) Although the book's subject matter is intuitive, I agree that it is nice to be reminded of the right way to live your life and how to reach an "effective" life.
3) However...because of the book's pseudo-spunky and somewhat condescending style, I see it gaining more acceptance among people right on the brink of teenagedom than actual teens. Pre-teens will probably get more of a kick out of reading a book for teens, and they may not notice the condescending writing since society has yet to tell them that they deserve to be treated as adults. There are points where Covey talks about eating disorders and suicide, but, as far as I can remember, middle schoolers have already been well introduced to these topics.
This is not a good book for the people it was meant to help, but it would be a very good book for a slightly younger age group. That way, you have a better chance of getting through to them before the pressures start to pile on.