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The Human Magnet Syndrome: Why We Love People Who Hurt Us
 
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The Human Magnet Syndrome: Why We Love People Who Hurt Us [Format Kindle]

Ross Rosenberg M.Ed. LCPC CADC
5.0 étoiles sur 5  Voir tous les commentaires (1 commentaire client)

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Présentation de l'éditeur

Since the dawn of civilization, men and women have been magnetically and irresistibly drawn together into romantic relationships, not so much by what they see, feel and think, but more by invisible forces. When individuals with healthy emotional backgrounds meet, the irresistible “love force” creates a sustainable, reciprocal and stable relationship. Codependents and emotional manipulators are similarly enveloped in a seductive dreamlike state; however, it will later unfold into a painful “seesaw” of love, pain, hope and disappointment. The soul mate of the codependent’s dreams will become the emotional manipulator of their nightmares. Readers of the Human Magnet Syndrome will better understand why they, despite their dreams for true love, find themselves hopelessly and painfully in love with partners who hurt them. This book will guide and inspire both the layman and the professional.

Biographie de l'auteur

Ross Rosenberg, M.Ed., LCPC, CADC, is a national expert in codependency, narcissism, borderline personality disorders, and the emerging field of emotional manipulation. Over his 25-year career in psychotherapy, Ross has specialized in the treatment of substance abuse, addictions and codependency/co-addictions. He is the owner of Clinical Care Consultants, a counseling center in the northern suburbs of Chicago.

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Commentaires client les plus utiles
5.0 étoiles sur 5 Changed my life forever 11 juin 2014
Format:Format Kindle|Achat vérifié
This book and Codependent no more of Melody Beatie, with is referred in Ross' book have changed my life. Knowing that I am a co-dependent was the first change. Then, I understood, like the author, why I am attracted to certain narcistic personality. Putting a name on what is making my life difficult to manage, helps to reverse the sense of chaos, create order where confusion reigned. The old Roman adage: “Know yourself!”

The book is badly written, lot of repetition in order to have the right number of pages is my guess. But it is still easy to go through it and understand the genius of his author. A very simple idea, well explained and the working pieces detailed. Thanks to this, I can protect myself from my own foolishness, understand my mate better too.

So five stars man!
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Commentaires client les plus utiles sur Amazon.com (beta)
Amazon.com: 4.4 étoiles sur 5  56 commentaires
31 internautes sur 32 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
4.0 étoiles sur 5 A dysfunctional dance 18 juin 2013
Par Bulldog - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format:Broché
I recommend this book to anyone recovering from a failed relationship and asking the question WHY.

The Human Magnet Syndrome is not a "how to" book. It is a WHY book. In that sense, the book is more akin to a blueprint than a tool box. Once you understand your personal "blueprint"and why a relationship failed, you can begin to address the HOW to fix it. By "design" in my blueprint, I am a codependent - who married an "emotional manipulator". That was not by chance - it was by design - thus the "magnet" metaphor in the title of the book. We danced the perfect and dysfunctional dance that the author explains.

This book helped me see an early blueprint of my relationships. As a codependent - I ALWAYS sought out "emotional manipulators", not because we were the same - but because they had strong and opposite qualities that appealed to me as a codependent. Cracks in my foundation - now evident in my "blueprint" have been evident from my early childhood. They contributed directly to the failure of several relationships, including an over 20 year marriage.

The book helped me better understand WHY I and my partner were initially so attracted to each other, loved each other, achieved many positive things, but ultimately ended a very long marriage. Now that I understand some of the WHY - I can begin to move on to other more healthy relationships.

I highly recommend the book. It helped me make some sense out of chaos in my life.....
15 internautes sur 15 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 For Professionals and People Who Want Healthier Relationships 1 juillet 2013
Par Donna - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format:Broché
A fresh approach to view relationships. A way to understand complicated personality types and apply those traits to your life. Whether you are a professional guiding your clients, a life coach offering tips, or just someone who needs to understand why they have difficulties attracting nice people, this book is for you. Highlights include: understanding others' selfishness, identifying takers and givers, providing a scale to see where one fits in, and identifying what about ourselves attracts these types of individuals. Most of the books I've read, as a professional Social Worker/Therapist, about Narcissism are complicated. So having this book to aid in not only understanding Narcissists, but also to have a book to be able to recommend to my clients, is appreciated. Thank you.

Donna Crunkilton-Stiegel, MSW, LCSW
17 internautes sur 18 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 Must-read book 6 juin 2013
Par Kellie K. - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format:Broché
The Human Magnet Syndrome was an eye-opening book. I learned about the attraction between co-dependents and emotional manipulators, and how these relationships can become toxic. Through the Continuum of Self theory, Rosenberg talks about the "magnetic force" that draws opposite personality types to each other -- and why these relationships can become dysfunctional or result in a perfect match. We all fit somewhere on the Continuum, and this book helped me discover where my husband and I sit on the range. Highly recommend - great book.
11 internautes sur 11 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 Must reading ... especially if your picker is broken.... 22 mars 2014
Par JB - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format:Format Kindle|Achat vérifié
Oh my... this book was amazing!! Thank you Ross Rosenberg!!

I am a student finishing up my AA degree in human services w/ an emphasis on certification for Chemical Dependency Professional... I WAS going to work as a substance abuse counselor however, the past two year, after my own awakening in my codependent ways of being, I began working a recovery program in Al-anon. I read everything I could get my hands on with regards to this topic and devoured all my college level text books on the subject of addiction ... because the narcissistic addict was the thorn in my flesh...

I began to understand and fully understand after reading this book, how we attract the opposite of what we are... I was a serious codependent. I never realized I learned to HATE who I was.. to avoid an abusive, rage-a-holic father, I employed roles and ways fo being to anticipate what was coming so I could avoid being beaten... It never worked but I learned how to read people and please them to avoid being abandoned rejected and orphaned ...

I have had a few significant relationships in my life. All were with narcissist once using addicts and a few in active addiction. I was unable to see the pattern or see anything in me that was bringing them into my life.. just wasn't the time. Two years ago, it became time to wake up and change...

Today, this book has helped me understand the continuum of how and who attracts who... a -5 codependent will attract a +5 narcissistic personality, BPD, or addict narcissist ... addicts are always narcissistic.. they literally have a love relationship with their drug of choice and USE people ... there are 3 stages to addiction: early, middle and late stage and just going sober doesn't change the narcissist personality they have created in the disease; WHICH is why it is imperative for them to work an HONEST recovery program with a sponsor in some type of 12 step program. It is a guide to renewing their distorted, diseased, brain and learn to become awake, aware and actively recovering and changing.

This book discusses everything necessary so you will learn about yourself and your patterns as a codependent. Unfortunately, as stated in this book, most narcissistic types will NOT be helped because they can't ever see that they have done anything wrong.. their programming is such that they are perfect, grandiose, without fault nor flaw... they can't even begin to dig down deep in to the cesspool of their past upbringing to address the deep trauma and abuse they encountered at some point in their development. This is what drives them to self-medicate, or just live the illusion that they are perfect and everyone should bow down worship and adore them "god complex' types.

I completed this book in one sitting .. it just spoke to exactly what I needed to read at the moment.. filling in so much information to all that I have read over the past 2-4 years when I was 'dabbling' in considering if I was in need of help until I realized I WAS definitely in need of help.

Today I believe through the program of Al-anon and working with a sponsor as well as reading and studying such books as this, I have entered in to a level of healing that I could not have entered in to any other way.. I came to see that I needed to be restored to sanity because I was INSANE as a result of the narcissistic addicts I had allowed into my life... the only way to get better was to get away from them, isolate myself for a season and put the focus totally on me... nothing a true codependent does with out dis-ease...

I began loving myself. Accepting myself and all that has happened and currently happens.. I live in acceptance and I forgave and rapidly forgive myself daily. Perfection and control are both illusions and I live genuine and authentic these days. I have good healthy boundaries in place and have eradicated close ties with anyone in active addiction or not working an honest recovery.

This book is MUST reading MUST MUST MUST .. if you are a codependent and if you happen to be that rare addict narcissist who wants to truly find peace and serenity in a recovery lifestyle. I think the book said that many addicts move out of the narcissistic +5 when they stop drinking and work recovery ...

All in all, I will and have already recommended this book to people in class and working their own recovery program. Thank you Ross Rosenberg for taking of your time to put this down on paper and put it in print! I am grateful to infinity and beyond! NOW I have a definite understanding of why I attracted who I did .. and why I am no longer attracting unhealthy addict types... SO happy to know this!!
10 internautes sur 10 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 A Breakthrough Book! 26 juin 2013
Par Nelli - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format:Broché
After years of trying to understand my codependency, and having different counselors at the same time--this book clearly explains in an understandable way the pull of the codependent with the narcissist.
After a divorce from a 30-year marriage, I still wanted to go back, but not understanding the reasons why. Thank you so much, Dr. Rosenberg. Your book is outstanding, and life-changing! Nelli C.
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