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The Kid: What Happened After My Boyfriend and I Decided to Go Get Pregnant [Anglais] [Broché]

Dan Savage

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Description de l'ouvrage

1 juin 2000
Dan Savage's nationally syndicated sex advice column, "Savage Love," enrages and excites more than four million people each week. In The Kid, Savage tells a no-holds-barred, high-energy story of an ordinary American couple who wants to have a baby. Except that in this case the couple happens to be Dan and his boyfriend. That fact, in the face of a society enormously uneasy with gay adoption, makes for an edgy, entertaining, and illuminating read. When Dan and his boyfriend are finally presented with an infant badly in need of parenting, they find themselves caught up in a drama that extends well beyond the confines of their immediate world. A story about confronting homophobia, falling in love, getting older, and getting a little bit smarter, The Kid is a book about the very human desire to have a family.

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Dan Savage's column, "Savage Love," is a nationally syndicated sex-advice column read by more than four million people each week. He has written the column for eight years, and it runs in twenty-six newspapers in the United States and Canada. He also writes "Dear Dan," an online advice column for ABCNews.com. Savage is the associate editor of The Stranger in Seattle and a regular contributor to This American Life on NPR and is the author of Savage Love (Plume), a collection of his advice columns. He lives in Seattle, Washington.

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Amazon.com: 4.5 étoiles sur 5  164 commentaires
121 internautes sur 125 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 A Defense of the Book 15 novembre 2005
Par downwithjoy - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format:Broché
I felt I had to respond after one person failed miserably in reading comprehension. First, in the beginning of the book Savage made the point and he and Terry had discussed infidelity and were committed enough to their relationship that that would not be enough to break them up. As to the claims about the birthmother being mentally ill, they took care to show that she wasn't. She was able to care for herself, make logical decisions and was sane enough to know that her chosen lifestyle made it impossible to be a good mother to her son, hence choosing adoption. And they didn't relocate to get away from her. They lived in Seattle and used an agency there. She was currently living in Portland, but since she regularly moved from city to city, it wasn't an issue. In fact, those who bother to read the whole thing will discover a chapter in which they flew to L.A. to meet with her after the birth and to allow the birthfather to see the baby. (And according to the legal agreement they signed, they can't keep her from seeing the kid a certain number of times a year, and Savage himself deplored the fact that some adoptive parents don't follow the signed agreements.) A lot of the other complaints seem based on the fact that the reviewer could not tell sarcastic humor from genuine sentiment. Savage is not a hearts&roses style writer. He's a hardcore cynic and likes making shocking jokes, like his fake birthmother letter in which he jests about having drug addicted friends babysit. For every time he made a joke about a baby as an expensive hobby, he also mentioned looking forward to being able to teach him to walk and talk and later watching his Little League games. Plenty of other writers have made similar jokes about their children - Erma Bombeck said she wanted to trade hers in for dogs, Bill Cosby has written about wanting to send his to jail for being annoying. It has nothing to do with how they actually parent - they're just trying for a laugh. Plus, if he really thought it was just a lark, would he and his boyfriend have gone through so much to adopt?

This book has left me much more optomistic about gay adoption, but pessimistic as to the literacy of people on the internet.
54 internautes sur 57 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 Mr Savage, an excellent job af sharing. 19 novembre 1999
Par Un client - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format:Relié
I bought this book with some trepidation, but that is why I wanted the book. I wanted to know what it was like to fight for a child against the odds and especially, why a pair of queer men would want to raise a child- and you have shared that with me. Thank you. As a married 24 year old mom I take for granted the privilege of fertility. The emotions invoked in me were rather unexpected, as most parenting/adoption books use extreme sappiness and sentimentality. Instead of making me cry and think, they make me puke and zone out. (How many "This is what God wanted"'s can YOU endure...) but your straightfoward and damn honest writing captivated me, and I cried several times. Especially the wonderful explanation of the choices forced upon infertile couples as opposed to the fertile couples. I sincerly hope you write a followup novel. I think we are all hoping you will, to get a glimpse of living as a queer parent, not to mention the complexity of an open adoption. Kudos to you and Terry. Make sure that in preschool, the teacher has him plant two bean seeds in that little styrofoam cup for Father's day.
38 internautes sur 39 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 As Heartfelt and As Funny as It Gets..... 1 août 2000
Par Greg - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format:Broché
Having heard Dan Savage's reading on NPR on how having a kid enables him now to be able to cruise straight men, I was at first irked at Savage for using a baby as a writing prop. Or, maybe I was just irked because I didn't do it first. Anyway, amidst shopping in Provincetown for baby clothes for my partner's and my own impending adoption, I picked up this book, however begrudgingly. Dan, all is forgiven. "THE KID" is so laugh-out-loud funny, poignant and heartfelt that my only regret is that I didn't read it sooner. If you're gay or straight and even considering adopting, this book should be required reading as Savage bravely sets up to the plate with extreme candor about all of the things over which adopting parents fret endlessly. Not to mention all of the things that fastlane big city boys and circuit queens fret (or should be fretting) over endlessly -- aging, one's purpose in the universe, and what the heck do we do now with our lives other than stand around listening to trance music. My boyfriend thought I was insane while reading the book, one minute laughing hysterically and the next minute weeping uncontrollably. Now that he's reading it, he's doing the same. Even if you're not adopting, buy this book as Savage is the new homo heir to Shirley Jackson's wonderfully funny "Life Among the Savages". Highest recommendation.
15 internautes sur 16 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 Made Me Weep 30 décembre 2005
Par Michael Murphree - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format:Broché
This is an incredibly honest recounting of how the author and his boyfriend adopted a child. It was fascinating to read about "open adoption", at the time of the book only legal in three states, Washington, Oregon and New Mexico. This system is where the birth mother is allowed to choose the adopting couple and continues to visit the child after giving birth. Worried that no young mother would choose a gay couple, they still go through with the grueling application and review process and are rewarded by being the first couple in their orientation group to be picked. The mother is truly a fascinatingly real character and Savage does a wonderful job portraying her. The scene at the hospital when they finally take the baby is heart wrenching and the author beautifully explains how experiencing the mother's grief completely validates the open adoption approach. This simple book encompasses so much about the human condition it becomes a spiritual beacon of tolerance and compassion.
16 internautes sur 18 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
4.0 étoiles sur 5 Not a sickly sweet story, but touching nonetheless 4 novembre 2005
Par Stephanie Reid-Simons - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format:Broché
First, the negative reviewer here posted a couple of things that are in error. First, it is not clear to me at all that the mother of this child is mentally ill. She has made a lifestyle choice that is far different than what I would make, but just choosing homelessness does not make you mentally ill.

Secondly, Dan and Terry did not "relocate to Seattle" after adopting in Portland to avoid the birth mother as you seem to suggest. If you had read the book instead of just skimmed, you would know they lived in Seattle the whole time. In fact, going to Portland for meetings with the adoption agency was an issue because that's where Terry's father died and he hated the city.

That said, this isn't a perfect book. And I, too, was somewhat taken aback with some of the things Mr. Savage wrote about infidelity etc. But I'm sure there are plenty of heterosexual couples who have similar attitudes. Not my cup of tea, but if it works for them, that's fine. I think the best thing about the book is that it makes clear that adoptive parents don't have to be perfect angels. That you can have thoughts that seem crass and selfish and still be worthy of parenting. It's a good, fast read and if you find the topic of adoption interesting but don't want some saccharine drivel, this is the book for you.
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