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The Manual: A True Bad Boy Explains How Men Think, Date, and Mate--and What Women Can Do to Come Out on Top [Format Kindle]

Steve Santagati

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Extrait

Chapter 1

Who Is a Bad Boy?

Admit it, you want to date Bad Boys. Despite what your mother may have told you, we make the best boyfriends. We're fun, we love women, and we know how to turn you on. Let me explain.

Bad . Boy (n.) A charming, funny, overtly confident guy who is sexy, in good shape, and great in bed (like I said, overtly confident). He is unapologetically "male," loves women, maintains many female friends, and does not kiss and tell. Romantically, he gets away with murder, with an alibi of a wink and a smirk. He's noncommittal by choice, not by fear. Most important, he thrives on being naughty.

I'd be sugarcoating the definition, however, if I didn't explain the "bad" part. He's bad because he's "got your number," knows how to manipulate you, and might not view female casualties as a problem. He doesn't always see you as a person, but instead as a challenge or a case study. For many Bad Boys, the chase is more important than the catch. The outcome? Hearts are broken, your need for closure is ignored, and he's off to his next "mark," remembering you only as an experience. If that's not bad, what is?

Examples: Great Hollywood Bad Boys have included Colin Farrell, George Clooney, Jack Nicholson, Johnny Knoxville, Jude Law, Snoop Dogg, Warren Beatty, Vince Vaughn, and (yes, really) John Mayer. (The sensitive guitar players are brilliant; you'll never see them coming.)

My point is that Bad Boys come in all shapes and sizes. I used to think that only tough guys were Bad Boys, but I was wrong; they're often the earthy types, the businessmen, and the boys next door.

You know when a Bad Boy enters a room: His confidence and past success with women are revealed in his unflinching eye contact, his slow, definite pace, and the glaring looks he receives from other men. Meanwhile, the women in the room perk up like deer at a water hole. He is automatically king of whatever domain he enters, and he doesn't feel the need to prove himself. He just is.

Dedication to the Cause

A Bad Boy studies women with the same passion and dedication that Nobel laureates pursue academia. A Bad Boy receives equally impressive rewards . . . albeit not in the form of medals and plaques. Instead, he gets something better, something every man on the planet desires: an undeniable ability to seduce women based solely on who he is. Women are attracted not to his status, bank account, or intellect; instead, he can woo women strictly based on himself. (Why? We'll get to that in the next section, "Why You Have No Choice but to Like Us.") For a man, there is no bigger ego boost than having a woman fall weak in the knees because of his effect on her. It's our most primitive quest.

Most true Bad Boys are born or reared as such. On occasion, a lucky few stumble and accidentally fall into behaving badly as a route to success with the opposite sex, summoned to a life spent pursuing the understanding of women. Either way, we leave no stone unturned when it comes to girls. We want to know everything, from why you get edgy during PMS to why you enjoy sex, as well as what makes you laugh, what your weaknesses are, how to build you up and how to knock you down a few pegs, and what makes you happy.

Why You Have No Choice but to Like Us

There have been all sorts of studies done on why women are attracted to this "naughty" element in men. To us Bad Boys, this is all just scientific chatter. However, I have taken the time to examine sociological and anthropological research on the topic, and it comes down to this: A desire to propagate is rooted deep within our species. Along with that desire, we have biological traits that guide us in choosing the right mate. Women have the best chance at propagating if they choose only the strongest alpha males, and men have the best chance of propagating if they can attract many females. You see this in nature all the time.

But humans have reached a level of civilization that doesn't admire the male side of that equation. Polygamy went out with the corset, hence the conundrum in dating. Bottom line? You like me, want my romantic attentions, and want me to date you monogamously. And there's nothing you can do to keep me from playing the field. Or is there?

Keep reading, because even if you think you don't like full-blown Bad Boys, every woman needs a guy with an edge to keep her heated up. The following pages will help you keep that fire burning--and under control.



Chapter 2

Who He's Not

I hear the word player tossed around a lot to describe men who seek out hordes of women. This is accurate. But I'm here to break it down for you, and tell you that Bad Boys and players are not the same thing. Let me explain:

Player



Bad Boy



Brags about his conquests



Is very secretive, and will rarely talk about his private life



Cares deeply about his

"numbers"



Enjoys exploring many "types"

of women



Has a sleazy air



Is confident



Makes a sport out of getting

women's phone numbers



Absolutely loves women





Has a shallow understanding of

women, and cares to know only

enough to get them into bed

Most of his ex-girlfriends are still his friends and not wishing for his untimely death



In a nutshell, a player sees women as notches on his bedpost. He doesn't really like them, or care to understand them. A player prefers to get women drunk and take advantage of them. He doesn't care how a woman is seduced, as long as she goes to bed with him. He sees women as something of a sport. Most players are wealthier men who prey on gold diggers, drunk girls, or unsuspecting women. But a player can easily be the unemployed loser down the block--Lord knows he has the time. If you want to know what to look for in order to avoid this guy, pay attention here.

How to Spot a Player

. He has more male than female friends.

.He may have cash and fancy "props": watches, cars, and clothes.

.He's a name-dropper.

.He makes promises he never keeps.

.He begins touching you--your back, your arm, anywhere--from the moment you meet, in ways that might strike you as far more intimate than your relationship warrants.

.You'll think something about him is sleazy, even if you can't put your finger on it. Should you put your finger on it, please wash with hot, soapy water.

Players can eventually be turned into good guys, but it's better to know what you're dealing with from the get-go. Chances are, though, you aren't going to be the one to change him, so move on quickly if you want to avoid the heartache.

A Word on Misogynists

A misogynist is a man who dislikes women. I'm not a psychologist, so I can't give you a clinical character description, but suffice it to say, this is a man who fundamentally doesn't respect the opposite sex. These losers often have disturbing pasts, for one reason or another, whether it was a childhood trauma or merely how they were raised.

Misogynists work many of the same moves as players. But the line between a player and a misogynist is a thick one. When meeting a man, look for the distinct sense that he doesn't like you even though he's attracted to you; he may also make negative comments about female family members. You'll know it when you sense it. Some misogynists can also be abusive--any man who is verbally or physically abusive, whether he harms you or threatens to do so, is to be avoided. Players may be derogatory at times, but your feminine instincts won't tip you off to danger the way they will if you're with a woman hater. These idiots do not deserve your pity and should be avoided at all costs. It is these violent, derogatory, sexist pigs who are a disgrace to our species. As much as I don't think players are cool, even they don't sink to a misogynist's level.

Be careful out there, and trust your instincts! If you're out on the town and meet a man, take a ladies'-room break and review the situation. Be honest with yourself, and you'll know exactly what kind of guy you're dealing with. The player will check out your girlfriend, and the girl behind her, when he introduces himself. The misogynist will come on way too nice, and you'll get a creepy feeling. He will most likely offer to buy you a drink (something he can drug). The Bad Boy, however, will start talking to you as if he knows you--with a calm self-assuredness--and you won't even know he's trying to pick you up until you're leaving his apartment the next morning with your panties in your purse.



Chapter 3

The Myth of the Nice Guy

I can hear you disagreeing with me. "But, Steve," you say, "I don't like Bad Boys. I really don't."

Bull.

If only the world were perfect. Nice girls would fall in love with nice boys, and everyone would live happily ever after. (Insert record scratch here.) Nothing could be further from the truth. Odds are you'll never fall for a plain old nice guy.

That's not to say that you won't meet an edgy guy who is nice to you. Or that you won't become attracted to an extremely courteous guy. But, inevitably, the je ne sais quoi about him that makes you want to jump his bones is not his habit of helping you on with your coat. You prefer his overt confidence when he's helping you off with your skirt.

In that world called reality, every guy has a little Bad Boy in him, and women wouldn't have it any other way.

There's Nothing Nice About Nice

A nice guy is the boy you want to pat on the head like a puppy, saying, "Aww, aren't you sweet." He's probably the friend whom you adore but would never date. Nice guys can't get you hot. Nice guys can't even "get" you. Nice guys, as far as women are concerned, may as well have welcome stamped across their foreheads, because you use them as doormats. Which is sad, because a lot of nice guys would make great boyfriends, except for one thing: They don't make you feel safe. Or excited.

The same reason nature instructs you to go for an alpha male is why you can't be attracted to "nice." In nature, nice equals weak, and weak equals danger. Women want to feel that they're protected and safe. Even if you're a powerful woman, you still want to be with someone who's got some balls. No?

But I'm Over Bad Boys

Maybe you say you're over Bad Boys. You say that you want to settle down and meet someone nice. What, you can't sleep? You need someone around to bore you into a deep slumber? Predictable nice guys can have that NyQuil effect.

Come on, sweet cheeks, you don't want that. Wanting a nice guy is the number one sign that you're settling, and not looking for the best you can get! But if you agree with me on that, now you're really stuck. You don't want nice and you don't want bad. What to do?

Here's how to zero in on a guy with just the right amount of Bad Boy-ishness.

1. Date different types of guys from various walks of life: business types, creative, athletic, outdoorsy, etc. (but don't sleep with any of them . . . unless one of them is me. . . . Joking, sort of.)

2.Especially date outside of what you would consider your normal "type," and start to form an idea of what you like and don't like; keep a chart, if it helps. Ask yourself what qualities are most important to you. Is he polite? Is he funny? Is he edgy, responsible, a good kisser?

3.If a guy makes you hot, definitely keep dating him, but don't get too emotionally involved right away. Stand back and ask yourself, "What is making me want him so badly?"

4.Compare the men who make you hot with the men you consider nice guys. (Be prepared to LOL.) As a bonus, feel free to use the nice guys in your life to keep you occupied so that you're not too available for the "hottie" you really like. Sounds mean, but it's not. Let me explain: You don't have to do a man's "homework" for him. He should be able to win your heart, and if he can't, then he's not worthy of you. Nice guys won't learn to be naughty by your being nice to them; you're doing them a favor!

5.Finally, chances are that if he turns you on he's a "real guy." Let him know (without actually saying it!) that you understand his desire to be male. This "acceptance," if you will, will separate you from 90 percent of the female population. Meaning, if he's a little rowdy sometimes, if he's got a hobby--a motorcycle, for example--or a sport he "just has to spend time on," then embrace it, but let him know you won't play second fiddle all the time. This way, you're not there as filler in between his "guy time" and work. You are part of his guy time.

Q&A

Q: I've already dated Bad Boys, and now I want a nice guy. Do I do the same things you advise with any guy?

A: I don't believe you will never be attracted to a completely and totally "nice guy." However, that doesn't mean you want a Bad Boy, either. But by understanding Bad Boys, the man who does heat you up will be easier to deal with. So, yes, keep in mind the strategies and concepts you read in this book, even if the man you choose doesn't seem all that bad. Most women want a good man with an edge, and that, my friend, comes in many packages.

The fact that you're reading this Manual means that you are actively seeking information that will make you better able to understand guys, and therefore have more fun with the kind of man who gets you hot . . . but not so hot that he burns you. You're on your way! If you listen to the advice in The Manual, I promise you'll be able to handle the kitchen no matter how high the temperature.



Chapter 4

Do You Like Bad Boys? A Quiz

Although you might still be denying it, there is no doubt that almost all women love some degree of Bad Boy.


From the Hardcover edition.

Revue de presse

“Steve Santagati has done it again! He brilliantly shares the secrets men don't want women to know about them. It's like having a cool, best guy friend in your back pocket. This book is a MUST have for any woman who wants to know how men think, and, more importantly, have the upper hand in winning over the man of their dreams.”
—Dr. Robi Ludwig, author, psychological commentator, and host of TLC's One Week to Save Your Marriage
“Steve is definitely a man's man! I've seen him in action, and he knows what he's talking about when it comes to dating and relationships. I’m sure The MANUAL will become every woman's mible (a Bible on men)!”
—Rachael Ray, #1 New York Times bestselling author and TV personality
“Steve has opened a real can of worms with The MANual. It's going to be much easier for women to traverse the dating world after they read this…and much tougher out there for the bad boys!”
—Molly Sims, star of the hit show “Las Vegas”
"[Santagati's] short, easy-to-digest chapters make a perfect way to browse away an afternoon, gain some perspective and try narrowing the age-old gap between the sexes."
—Publishers Weekly


From the Hardcover edition.

Détails sur le produit

  • Format : Format Kindle
  • Taille du fichier : 239 KB
  • Nombre de pages de l'édition imprimée : 306 pages
  • Pagination - ISBN de l'édition imprimée de référence : 030734570X
  • Editeur : Harmony; Édition : 1st (29 mai 2007)
  • Vendu par : Amazon Media EU S.à r.l.
  • Langue : Anglais
  • ASIN: B000QXCZW2
  • Synthèse vocale : Activée
  • X-Ray :
  • Word Wise: Non activé
  • Composition améliorée: Non activé
  • Classement des meilleures ventes d'Amazon: n°181.091 dans la Boutique Kindle (Voir le Top 100 dans la Boutique Kindle)
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Amazon.com: 3.3 étoiles sur 5  207 commentaires
634 internautes sur 691 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
4.0 étoiles sur 5 A Guy's Opinion: Tough love from a real world "Expert" that happens to be accurate 29 octobre 2007
Par CultureAddict - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format:Relié|Achat vérifié
I read Steve Santagati's Manual driven by the same curiosity that compels men to page through copies of Cosmo at a girlfriend's house. We don't subscribe to those magazines, so somehow they immediately create intrigue. So in part it was voyeurism, and in part I wanted to explore what lessons were being taught to women by one of our own. I read through a few of the reviews here where Santagi was demonized as a pig, and I guess I'm here to say that whether or not that happens to be true, what the ladies should be curious about is whether or not his comments are accurate or reflective of most men. While I will admit that his delivery is a bit crude, guys can be too sometimes, so overdoing it is probably a better tact than sugarcoating things. I'll gladly confirm that for better or for worse, much of what he says is pretty accurate for most guys (we're sorry we're superficial, but we're just made that way ... and in my experience, even brilliant women like to be loved for their looks too). All Steve is saying is that it won't make you any less of a success to take advantage of this fact and accentuate it -- which isn't very different from a guy realizing that there's nothing wrong with his masculinity.

After serving as a shoulder to cry on more than once for my mystified and confused female friends, I've wanted at times to write a book much like this, though mine would probably have been more scientific, and perhaps even less PC. If you are curious about the scientific underpinning of the fundamental truths Steve seems to have learned in the real world, read Nancy Etcoff's "Survival of the Prettiest" or Geoffrey Miller's "The Mating Mind." Men and women are profoundly DIFFERENT on a neurological level. There's no moral judgment about it, and the more that we can learn to accept and embrace these differences, the happier we'll become. Any trait taken to extremes becomes unappealing, and most everything that irritates women about men (and vice-versa) is something that in moderation is often very attractive.

There's a big trend now, typified by VH1's "The Pick Up Artist" and Neil Strauss's "The Game" for men to explore the psychology of the female mind and leverage that into success in the dating world. When taken too far, this can be manipulative and disgusting, but in moderation, it does actually help some guys get over their issues or hurdles into being more comfortable in their skins. For me the moment when I realized just how different male and female minds were, I was in High School. I remember when I was first told by a brilliant beautiful girl I crushed on that she wanted confidence more than anything else in a man, and I remember thinking, "Huh? Not kindness, attractiveness, intelligence, or talent?" "You want confidence even if he boldly charges in wrongheaded directions?" "Yep. I don't know quite why it is, but it's still hot," was the reply, although she couldn't explain what made her feel that way any better than I can with my fascination with ponytails.

So our predilections are no more difficult for you to understand than yours are to us. Here's an illustrative story of the parallels between male and female thinking from the other side: Recently I was at a trendy downtown Manhattan restaurant, when Mystery, the host of "The Pickup Artist" walked in, all gangly six-foot six inches of his goth-looking overdone self, and I pointed him out to my tablemates. After an explanation of who he was to the girls at our table, and grudging admissions that we'd seen his show or read Mr. Strauss's book from all the guys, one of the girls (a highly educated, intelligent and stunning catch herself) proclaimed that she was certain that "confidence couldn't be taught." Well, she sure was wrong. The guy who brought her there on a date (also a handsome and successful match himself) had recently transformed himself from insecure to comfortable around women in part through Strauss's teachings. And the whole world of women never would have learned or experienced what a great guy he was unless someone had taught him a thing or two about female evolutionary psychology. Santagati's just trying to do the same thing for women that Strauss did for men. All sorts of girls with amazing personalities reject the notion of playing up their beauty on moral grounds. Sadly, the results of this are that lots of guys never meet truly amazing women who hide behind baggy clothes or overdone fashion.

Santiago tries to teach a few very accurate lessons: (1) Guys can't be analyzed through the lens of the female psyche. Our minds are too different for it to be intuitive. Instead you should educate yourself on what men say men want, because we may be many things, but we do usually say what we want. (2) Yes we are superficial, but we LOVE women and we want to see you as your best selves so we can smother you with affection. (3) Taking advantage of your looks isn't unethical or anti-feminist, a guy becomes attracted to you for physical assets, but STAYS for your personality (it's not wrong, it's just the way nature made us). (4) If you refuse to take advantage of the triggers for male attraction, chances are you won't find the guy you deserve (and he won't find you), so you will settle for a relatively boring guy instead. The differences between the sexes are a large source of excitement, and denying this will probably lead to antiseptic, dull relationships. (5) Don't listen to your female friends about how to get a guy or what to wear -- literally everything you do to impress your female friends will doom you with men. I've always been curious about why women spend so much effort on themselves, but that it's always put in the wrong places. I can't even count the number of times when I've seen a woman in a grossly unflattering outfit, only to hear her friends tell her how adorable it is. I don't know if this is intentional sabotage or not, but it isn't pretty. There are women out there who've spent loads of money on botox or handbags, but there isn't a single guy out there who will remember a girl for her trendy clothing. Meanwhile there are plenty of girls who are out of shape but carrying lustworthy accessories, whose time and money would have been better spent in a gym or ditching the car for a day to walk or bike, and there are others who obsess about trivial aspects of their appearance like wrinkles or noses while covering up terrific assets. Men rarely care about the details women fixate on. We see women holistically instead. For every woman down on her skin, there's a man who thinks she has amazing hair and never even notices her skin. The converse is doubtless true as well.

None of these insecurities are surprising. I know that the pressures that are put on women are Herculean and absurd. Success and family all before 30 or 35 ... while keeping in great shape? Virgin and whore at the same time? Sexy, but successful and appreciated for your mind not your body? They're unachievable paradoxes and it simply isn't fair! "Us Weekly" runs profiles on women who are too skinny and too fat in the same issue. It's all a little much.

But if you pause for a moment and consider where this criticism comes from, believe it or not, it's usually not guys. In my experience, and that of any girl who's gone through the social hell that is Junior High, it's usually the female peer group that's toughest on women! I rarely hear guys call women derogatory words unless they're overreacting from a recent heartbreak or breakup, but I hear girls say those words all the time about their FRIENDS! Guys are usually pretty accepting of body image. All you really need to do to look great is to stay healthy and in-shape and not let the media or advertising deceive you into believing that trivial problems are major. I find the little signs of aging and maturity profoundly attractive ... it's just that our American corn-starch diet-soda sedentary lifestyle is not. Men love the whole woman, not her eyeliner. So if women could only accept their complete beauty without worrying about what Maybelline tells them, I think we'd have a lot of happier people out there. Frankly, I've always found the Dove commercials with the plus-sized models fascinating: The commercials told you to accept your body for being overweight ... but then they replaced that insecurity with another, telling you that you had to buy their cream or moisturizer or suffer the horrors of cellulite (yet another thing guys could probably care less about). The cosmetics industry is made up of total hypocrites. The purveyors of unachievable body image are often those interested in making you feel bad about yourself so they can sell their products.

In summary, I'm a nice guy at heart, but I have a bit of a "bad guy" side. While I would love to be appreciated for my merits alone, I've realized that the "bad guy" side generates a lot more interest from women that just being a good guy. It's not necessarily the way that I'd like things to be, but it is the way the world works. Even if it's not what I wanted to hear, understanding that dichotomy does make for a more satisfying life than ignorance would have. So while some of what Steve says may not sit well, guys do respond to appearance in a way that isn't necessarily intuitive or satisfying to women. Yes, beauty is important to men, but the beauty we like is actually often far more achievable than the one society tells you to strive for. So don't get angry about men not finding you attractive while using that as an excuse for staying out of shape. It's no more attractive than self-loathing is in men. Instead, embrace a healthy lifestyle and a physically flattering style of dress. That, in turn will reflect in your self image, so you can project that happiness into your life. For guys, a world of women comfortable with the influence of their physicality would be an immensely satisfying place to live ... and it won't be so bad for women to understand the affects it has on their well-being either.
75 internautes sur 77 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
1.0 étoiles sur 5 One of the dumbest books I've ever read 6 avril 2011
Par HeatherRae - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format:Format Kindle|Achat vérifié
Wow, where do I even begin. This guy talks about how irresistible to women he is and then gives great advice for landing high quality men, which he considers himself to be. It is an entire book of a narcissist extolling his own virtues. The kindle version cost me MORE than the paperback or the hardback would have. Shame on Amazon! Most importantly, though, the advice he gives is either so obvious that a tree stump would know it or so incredibly inane and/or sexist that it is insulting. Save your money. Here is his advice in a nutshell: Play hard to get and show some cleavage. Gee, thanks, Mr. Santagati. I'll make sure to do that if I ever want to date a man such as you.
123 internautes sur 136 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
1.0 étoiles sur 5 Congratulations to the author 22 juillet 2009
Par A. Day - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format:Broché
I have to hand it to this guy. He has conned heaps of women bookers and producers into putting him on tv and radio shows as a relationship expert, and he has gotten a lot of desperate and stupid women with no self esteem to believe that he has the key to their happiness in relationships. Wake up women! This man is a Class A sexist who thinks you're all a game and just a piece of a--.

All this supposed knowledge in the book comes from a man who admitted to not really having any long term relationships himself. Anyone who listens to this guy actually deserves to be swindled out of their money.

Nearly every page is rife with his arrogant belief that he's handsome and impossible to resist due to his charm and appearance and can help you have the honor of getting laid by someone like him. He can't seem to get through a paragraph without reminding the reader how hot he thinks he is. How pathetic. In fact, I smell Napoleonic complex coming off this guy with each page turn. I don't think he's handsome at all. I don't think he's charming. If he approached me with any of this drivel, I'd tell him to take a piss.

This book presents a base, self-proclaimed bad boy who has somehow managed to find a way to make a living without real work - by getting women to buy his book and his products and pay him via his website for his dating advice. Is our gender really that desperate? Apparently so because he's making a nice living off those foolish enough to listen to him and pay him for his advice. He's a snake oil salesman of another type.

I love that he's telling women what they need to do in order to gain attention from a man. He never seems to think that men should actually have to do anything to make themselves more appealing to women other than play games and compliment them. Adults looking for real relationships don't play games. If you're the type of person who plays games, I doubt Santagati can teach you any new tricks.

This book was loaned to me by a friend who's desperate to marry and I warned a thousand times shouldn't go after Santagati's type. She still does and is still miserable and increasingly desperate. I told her I wanted to read this book that she thought was such great advice because, from what she said about it, it sounded like some swindler conning women. I laughed at how cocky this guy is with little to back it up other than a former modeling career (sorry, but the guy isn't good looking and if he was a male model, he's the shortest one I've ever heard of).

The book is written by a man who obviously thinks all women are marks to be had and disposed of at will and, if they don't get the game, tough on them. Emotions and feelings - let alone substance play no part at all in his recommendations for successfully finding a mate and building a relationship. He thinks it's all about tricks and games. Yeah, that'll really build a stable, long-term relationship, Steve. You ought to know considering how many you claim you've had. Oh that's right. You haven't. So why again should people buy your book?

Buyers, if you're looking to a lot of one night stands and nothing more, you don't need this book or advice from this self-absorbed, primitive meathead. Just go outside of your home on any evening. Men who want one night stands abound. If you want a man with substance (the kinds he refers to as nice guys and he ignorantly seems to think no one wants), then by all means do not go anywhere near any advice Mr. Santagati gives or you will scare off the real catches, not the ones from whom you could catch something.

Women should be ashamed of themselves for giving this book a good rating. It's insulting to the entire female gender and it does nothing but insult the men who are decent human beings that respect women. If it was possible to give no stars, I would.

Oh and Steve dear, if we don't find you attractive or interesting in any way, it is not US as you repeatedly state (most of your type usually blames us for your shortcomings) in the book. You're type just isn't of interest to most attractive, available women who have actual self-esteem and a functioning brain.
156 internautes sur 180 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
2.0 étoiles sur 5 Hard-Hitting But True 2 octobre 2007
Par Eva Stewart - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format:Relié
Wow, this is a difficult book to read, not in the intellectual sense but in actually grasping the concept that some men really don't understand or refuse to accept that women are people with real lives and real feelings. It's written by a guy who says he loves women - he loves them for his own needs not theirs! He's the kind of guy that thinks he's done a woman a favour or given her a wonderful experience by having a fling with her -- because 'hes' so great. The egotism - and complete lack of awareness of actually how women think - in this book is astounding. But, in saying all that. This book is a very interesting insight into the minds of so called 'Bad Boys' AKA selfish self-obsesses users who love themselves more than life itself! It is funny to see how attractive 'Bad Boy' qualities can be, and it is intersting to see how these males think about themselves and women in general. If you want insight, read the book, but don't be surprised if you're shocked and a fair bit disgusted by some of what you read. Hopefully... there is still hope for the human race!
28 internautes sur 29 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
1.0 étoiles sur 5 Sexist, shallow advice 9 novembre 2011
Par M. Cole - Publié sur Amazon.com
The advice given in this book teaches women how to be a sexual object to men - not a person of substance whom a quality man will respect.

If your goal is to sleep with as many men as possible, this "manual" will certainly get you there! However, you could probably accomplish that just fine without this book.

The author spends a good portion of the book giving advice on dressing to look sexy for men (in the book he mentions that every outfit should have "a little tramp" in it). I'm appalled that he suggests this as a way to find quality men, and I know that while looking overtly sexy will undoubtedly attract attention, it is in no way a deal-breaker in finding a good relationship.

At the end of the day, the only way a relationship can work is if both people see the other for who they are as a person, not just as a sex object, so the fact that the author places this much emphasis on appearance is unnecessary. He should instead focus on the fact that men actually don't like women who cave to their every desire. Men want women with a STRONG MIND. He is suggesting that women be the opposite - pretty little attention-grabbing objects of desire.

For QUALITY dating advice that is EMPOWERING, I suggest reading Sherry Argov's "Why Men Marry Bitches." Her first book, "Why Men Love Bitches" is good too, but I've read both and I think the second covers more. This is my absolute, honest opinion. I wanted to read "The Manual" as a follow-up to her books but just found Santagati's advice appalling and contradictory to the empowering (and effective) advice I received in Argov's book.

Save your money, skip this trashy book, and read a book that gives solid, not shallow, relationship advice.
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