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The Myths of Happiness: What Should Make You Happy, but Doesn't, What Shouldn't Make You Happy, but Does (Anglais) Relié – 3 janvier 2013


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Descriptions du produit

Revue de presse

"In this thought-provoking volume, Lyubomirsky... examines happiness and conventional notions about how it's nurtured in relationships, at work, and in one's own psyche...Lyubomirsky demonstrates that positively reframing life events can mine the best out of even the darkest situations. Provocative and fresh."
Publishers Weekly

"Informative and engaging….The author examines how the 'shoulds' of happiness not only undermine well-being, but also make it hard for individuals to cope with the sometimes difficult realities of adulthood."
Kirkus Reviews

"No matter what your personal world is like, The Myths of Happiness will change the way you approach your daily life. Lyubomirsky's thorough research and practical solutions will not only add joy and contentment to your life, but will also allow you to take on issues that you may have been sweeping under the rug for too long."
Woodbury Magazine

"In her new book, The Myths of Happiness, Dr. Lyubomirsky describes a slew of research-tested actions and words that can do wonders to keep love alive."
—Jane Brody, New York Times

Biographie de l'auteur

SONJA LYUBOMIRSKY is a professor of psychology at the University of California, Riverside. Her research—on the possibility of permanently increasing happiness— has been honored with a Science of Generosity grant, a John Templeton Foundation grant, a Templeton Positive Psychology Prize, and a million-dollar grant from the National Institute of Mental Health. Lyubomirsky’s 2008 book, The How of Happiness, has been translated into nineteen languages. She lives in Santa Monica, California, with her family.


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Détails sur le produit

  • Relié: 320 pages
  • Editeur : Penguin Press HC, The (3 janvier 2013)
  • Langue : Anglais
  • ISBN-10: 1594204373
  • ISBN-13: 978-1594204371
  • Dimensions du produit: 16,2 x 2,7 x 23,6 cm
  • Moyenne des commentaires client : 4.0 étoiles sur 5  Voir tous les commentaires (2 commentaires client)
  • Classement des meilleures ventes d'Amazon: 7.540 en Livres anglais et étrangers (Voir les 100 premiers en Livres anglais et étrangers)
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1 internautes sur 1 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile  Par RAS TOP 500 COMMENTATEURS sur 15 avril 2014
Format: Broché
En 1978, Brickman et ses collègues ont publié une étude qui a fait date dans l'histoire de la psychologie. Ils ont étudié des gagnants à la loterie et des personnes ayant eu un accident provoquant l'hémiplégie. Ils ont trouvé que les deux groupes s'habituaient assez vite, après une première phase d'euphorie ou de déprime, et retrouvaient au bout de quelques mois le niveau de bien-être d'avant l'évènement. Ainsi fut lancé un courant de recherche très fructueux sur le bien-être et le bonheur, dont Sonja Lyubomirsky nous présente les résultats les plus intéressants pour la vie quotidienne. Ce qui rend ce livre le plus précieux, c'est qu'il ne résulte pas, comme nombre d'ouvrages similaires, des spéculations ou des expériences limitées de l'auteur, mais que chaque affirmation est basée sur des études scientifiques réalisées sur un grand nombre de sujets. Beaucoup de mythes qui ont pourtant la vie dure sont systématiquement réfutés : l'idée qu'on sera heureux si ... (on trouve l'amour de sa vie, on gagne plus d'argent, on aura une plus grande maison, etc.). Mais aussi les conseils pratiques et réalistes pour garder un bon niveau de bien-être, malgré "l'habituation hédonique" et les aléas de l'existence. A recommander, un style très clair et très précis, pas de complication inutile. A mettre entre toutes les mains. Existe aussi en une bonne traduction française: Qu'est-ce qui nous rend vraiment heureux ?
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Par louise weintraub sur 21 février 2013
Format: Relié Achat vérifié
Her research appears sound.
A good read especially for anyone who is having difficulty moving out of his or her "comfort zone".
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77 internautes sur 82 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
Happiness: so simple, yet so complicated ... 4 février 2013
Par GirlScoutDad - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format: Relié
"While experiencing happiness, we have difficulty in being conscious of it. Only when the happiness is past and we look back on it do we suddenly realize - sometimes with astonishment - how happy we had been."
¯ Nikos Kazantzakis, Zorba the Greek

Happiness, that eternal yet elusive goal of man, is indeed full of paradoxes as many writers have eloquently noted. In an increasingly crowded field of books on happiness and positive psychology where it is getting more and more difficult to say something original and meaningful, I feel the author has made a very worthwhile contribution. She considers some of the universal assumptions about happiness and explores, analyzes, and reframes them to show us how very naive, thoughtless, and just plain wrong is our thinking about what "makes us" happy.

These assumptions - the "Myths of Happiness" as her title defines them - include cliches almost all of us never pause to doubt, ideas such as the idea that we can't be happy without a wonderful marriage, we can't be happy unless we have children, we can't be happy because we don't have enough money, we can't be happy because we're not as young as we used to be, we can't be happy if we have health problems, and a few other common beliefs. It turns out that people find a way to be happy in spite of unwanted life circumstances, and many people who are blessed by wealth and good fortune aren't any happier that those who lack these fortunes.

The unifying theme in dealing with all of these happiness myths seems to be what psychologists call "cognitive flexibility" or "cognitive reframing", that is, some mental flexibility, creativity, perseverance, and originality that allows people to discover all kinds of alternative paths to a rich, enjoyable, successful, and meaningful life even if we find ourselves without wealth, youth, perfect health, or a passionate romantic partner. Bottom line: Lyubomirsky convinced me that, even if we don't get what we want in life, we can still achieve that elusive state of living variously known as contentment, fulfillment, satisfaction, or happiness.

The author's writing style is fast-paced, wryly funny, and unpretentious. And, her knowledge of the field is encyclopedic, with over 400 references to studies in human happiness, enjoyably explained, to support her deconstruction of the myths of happiness.

I think the measure of a good psychology book is one that really makes you think about your own life differently, and this one gave me several such moments. Nearly 30 years ago as a medical student I had to cancel a planned "externship" at the prestigious Yale University Hospital on very short notice in order to be available to support my then girlfriend through a family loss. Having invested years of sweat and toil in my career and revering the Ivy League as the pinnacle of success, I went into a state of mini-despair as I reluctantly signed up for a mundane, "regular" assignment closer to home. I imagined my entire future success as a medical doctor had just taken a permanent turn for the worse. As it turned out, I was teamed up with an awesome team of residents and attending physicians, learned so much that I still use the knowledge acquired in that un-glamorous assignment in the management of patients, and years later was, nonetheless, still offered a prestigious fellowship at Yale. What's more, I turned it down, having by then a much better idea of the kinds of things that actually would make me happy. This memory is a pefect example of the author's main idea, expressed in the book's subtitle: "what should make you happy but doesn't, what shouldn't make you happy but does." Ultimately, I think nothing extrinsic "makes us" happy, but rather that we must decide internally to experience life as an interesting, challenging, exciting adventure, and with that inner resolve, we will find opportunities to experience a range of emotions and experiences ultimately amounting to a meaningful and happy life.
80 internautes sur 93 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
Good attempt, but book fell short 8 mars 2013
Par Book_lover - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format: Relié
I was excited to start reading this book, but that quickly changed.

I was expecting newest research with potentially life-changing implications, but while the book contained references to many studies, the conclusions and research findings were not really new to me(I keep updated with Psychology Today and other sources)

Her writing style was good, but became very repetitive. The chapters' introductions are lengthy and add no real value. In addition, the chapters' summaries (called "The prepared mind") have turned out to be a huge third repeat of the same ideas, worth nothing, only more 'fluff' (to make the book longer?)

Some of her practical solutions were completely absurd, in my opinion. Example: How to appreciate your current job more: If you previosuly worked night shift, you should stay up some nights to try to remember how that feels. Lol. She offers more "practical" solutions of this kind in the book. Frustrated with parenting? When you're old you'll have fond memories, so just think of 50 years from now, how great life will be then. Hahaha! Diagnosed with terminal cancer? Just think of yourself as a three legged table, which is actually stronger than a four legged one. I know, I am simplyfying, but the ideas, examples and anecdotes she uses are NOT life-altering, they are interesting, at best, and more often than not, just silly.

To be honest, I felt like in order for any of us to be happy, we have to constantly keep "brainwashing" ourselves back into the past. Look at old pictures of your vacations, you'll feel happier. Remember that horrible boss you once had, but now you're free of him, so be happy. Her suggestions felt 'plastic', inorganic, fake, inauthentic, forced or some type of "let's pretend" game. Sometimes I felt that my intelligence was insulted.

However, not everything in this book was bad. It was truly a mix of some good and some awful ideas. Every reader should keep in mind that she tends to inject some of her own life philosophy into her conculsions.

The section worth reading is the one on marriage and long term relationships. I feel like most people are not aware of how over time our relationships change and we get bored. I liked the reminder that we have to constantly work on our relationships, and here her suggestions, although not original by any stretch, were useful and adequate.

Also worth your attention - the suggestions on NOT comparing yourself to others. I felt that she could have incorporated the role of social media here, such as Facebook, which leads to constant comparing yourself to others. The author could have included lots of practical examples here, but fell short.

Overall, a poor C+. Aside from a few little things here and there, I did not learn much.
8 internautes sur 8 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
excellent practical tips 13 avril 2014
Par D&D - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format: Broché
Having researched happiness and success for over 3 decades, this author's first book "The How of Happiness" was one of my top practical picks on this subject, the others being "Emotional Toolkit" (for its detailed action steps that work well with Lyubomirsky's book) plus "Happy for No Reason" and the classic "To Love is to be Happy With".

Lyubomirsky is one of the most original and creative scientists within the field of happiness studies. Her first book was a good read but lacked action steps. This one is just as engaging, with many practical suggestions on how to be happier in relationships, parenthood, work and money.

Apart from this book, little that is really new on happiness appears to have been published in the last 5 years but I also rate these books, which elaborate on different aspects already known and reported within the happiness/health field:

- in 2013 "Love 2.0", the second book by the eminent researcher Frederickson, on the myriad benefits of loving kindness - even the book felt much kinder than her first, the 2009 "Positivity", on the tipping point created by having 3 positive thoughts to every negative or neutral thought;

- in 2012 "The Longevity Project" by Friedman and Martin is a groundbreaking 80-year overview on what is really directly linked to happiness and health and "Resilience" by Southwick and Charney, who identify ten key and researched ways to weather, and bounce back from, stress and trauma;

- in 2011 Seligman's "Flourish" with its new emphasis on well-being rather than happiness and McTaggart's "The Bond" on the importance of relationships; and

- in 2010 "Why Kindness is Good For You" by Hamilton which expands on the importance of kindness and helping.

(note: I am also impressed with "The Healing Code" by Loyd & Johnson - an amazing process for emotional clearing. There are hundreds of success stories, including physical healings, on this site)

In the end, however, having worked on myself intensively by using many of the tips, techniques and tools that I learned about over the last 15 years, I have found that HEALTH is the biggest determinant of happiness. To me, happiness is directly linked to well-being - or being well. Yes, there are happy sick people but for most of us it is our underlying constitution that controls our level of happiness. This is not exactly the same as the now-famous "happiness set point" because there are ways to improve basic health whereas it seems the set point is, well, set.
6 internautes sur 6 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
Very good but missing more examples 1 avril 2013
Par Karenlovestoread - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format: Format Kindle Achat vérifié
I loved this book. The organization and writing was well executed. The only part missing for me would have been more case examples. Whether it is to peer into the lives of others for comparative or voyueristic reasons, we learn from others mistakes. I wish there had been more stories of people realizing their lack of happiness and how they changed their perception of happiness.
4 internautes sur 4 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
Happiness Myths Revealed 6 mars 2013
Par bronx book nerd - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format: Relié
Psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky reveals how certain happiness myths in our culture can keep us from getting more out of life. She also explains how to counteract these myths. Each myth is covered in the general context of "I'll be happy when ___", such as "I'll be happy when I meet the right person". For each topic she proceeds to explain why this is wrong, backing up her claims with studies, surveys, etc, sometimes using experiments of her own. For example, single people can be very happy, so long as they create a strong social network and have meaningful pursuits. People who are in strained marriages have two options: first, the data and studies show that someone can improve their marriage by doing certain things like engaging in new activities, for example. Each chapter, including ones on aging, health, money and work, for example, is filled with this type of practical advice, which makes the book eminently useful.
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