The No-Cry Nap Solution: Guaranteed Gentle Ways to Solve All Your Naptime Problems (Anglais) Broché – 1 février 2009
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Biographie de l'auteur
Elizabeth Pantleyis the president of Better Beginnings, Inc., a parent education company, and is a regular radio show and internet show guest and featured expert. Her newsletters and articles are distributed worldwide.She has been quoted in such magazines as Parents, Parenting, Woman’s Day, Mother & Baby, Today's Parent, and GoodHousekeeping. Elizabeth is the mother of four. Visit her website at pantley.com/elizabeth.
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EN tant que maman qui refuse de laisser pleurer son bébé, et face à un bébé qui avait bien du mal à dormir et que ne siestait pas du tout, j'ai tenté cette méthode. Il faut être très rigoureux, bien tout suivre à la lettre avec patience (beaucoup de patience) et je promets qu'à terme ça fonctionne!! Après 1 semaine notre bébé s'est mis à s'endormir le soir, et après 3 mois sil faisait la sieste tous les jours, s'endormait seul, ne se réveillait plus que pour manger la nuit et se rendormait aussi sec jusqu'à 9 h du matin!
3 mois de patience, c'était il y a presque 1 an, et depuis aucune "rechute"!
Mais il faut vraiment appliquer à la lettre, avoir confiance et se dire que ça va marcher même si dans l'immédiat on ne voit rien venir et qu'on est exténué!
De mon côté, j'avais déjà lu "The no-cry sleep solution" et avait apprécier la façon d'écrire de l'auteur et son approche sur le sujet.
Je ne suis pas pour laisser un bébé pleurer donc il m'a paru essentiel de travailler autour de cette idée.
Ne vous attendez pas à un miracle non plus, mais la plupart des idées présentes dans ce livre sont très utiles et ont personnellement permis à ma fille de se créer son petit rythme de siestes et même de faire ces nuits.
De plus, on apprend des tas de choses intéressantes sur le sommeil.
N'hésitez pas à vous le procurer, au pire, vous aurez de la lecture en cas de nuits blanches !
Commentaires client les plus utiles sur Amazon.com (beta)
But let's get real: While our intentions may be great, real life doesn't always allow for step-by-step approaches to getting our kids the daytime rest they need (and the sorely needed breaks we get while they nap!). Crabby kids, relatives popping in unannounced right before nap time, teething, upset bellies, that doctor appointment you can't miss, that 15 minute car nap that ruined little Johnny's afternoon siesta that led to an even more difficult bed time fight because he was so overtired...we've all been there, done that, and were all ready to pull out hair out by the end of the day.
There's a lot of great information in this book for parents of newborns through toddlerhood, and I made plenty of notes while I read. And there was also plenty of information that did not apply to our situation, some of which I skipped entirely and some of which I just skimmed (because I do plan on having another baby eventually!). But that is what is so great about Pantley's book: it's not a one-size-fit-all solution. Whether you co-sleep, nurse-to-sleep, stick to a by-the-clock schedule, or fly by the seat of your pants (like I do), you and your nap-fighting child will benefit greatly from the little bit of time it will take to sit down and read!
A few very important lessons I learned while reading Pantley's book included:
* My daughter needs 12 hours of sleep a night and 1 to 2 hours of nap time per day for 13 to 14 hours of sleep total. Oops! I had been cutting her short by about 2 hours. We have been working on remedying that situation and I am already noticing improvements.
* Night time sleep can help make up for naps but naps cannot make up for night time sleep.
* No matter what ANYONE tells you, newborns cannot be spoiled. So baby-wear, cuddle, and hug to your hearts content.
* I am not the worst mother in the world.
* What works for us is fine. A parenting expert says so. So if my daughter and I are happy with our she-holds-my-hand-until-she -falls-asleep-for-every-nap-and-bedtime situation, then so be it. It doesn't mean I am spoiling her and it doesn' mean I did something wrong. It just means that this is what is right for us. (I'm not sure why I needed an expert to tell me this to make me feel better, but thank you, Elizabeth. You don't know how much better this makes me feel.
The No-Cry Nap Solution covers all the usual infant and toddler sleep pattern information and then moves on to tackling some thorny napping problems - catnaps, nap resistance, shifting schedules, changing from in-arms sleep to in-bed sleep, changing car naps to bed naps, making the transition from motion sleep to stationary sleep, and falling asleep without the nipple/bottle/dummy. The book has really hit the mark with its smorgasbord of nap problems and I'd be surprised if you're experiencing a nap problem that isn't covered here. Apart from raising four kids herself, all that research Pantley has done with parents around the world has paid off!
I read this book free of the fog of sleep deprivation, and there was a point I reached where I found myself thinking lighten up mothers, let it go, it all eventually turns out ok, you don't need to be so damn obsessive about your baby's sleep. And you know what, this thought could only ever be entertained by someone who is getting enough sleep in her life and you know what else? Pantley even has this covered - there is a section in her book with advice for those of you who decide to lighten up and let go with your motherhood routines.
But be warned, the book probably won't deliver instant miracles. There are no sleep miracles with babies. The truth is babies don't sleep or nap in a way that fits neatly into the modern parent's lifestyle. Unless you're exceptionally lucky there are going to be some problems (and they will involve a little crying). But the good news is they won't last forever. If you want to gently manoeuvre your way through them then the No-Cry series is the one for you. And just as The No-Cry Sleep Solution was desperately needed by sleep-deprived parents, I suspect The No-Cry Nap Solution will be just as desperately needed by energy-deprived parents. Because I still remember how precious nap time was - how your child's nap was the only time in a day where you got the opportunity to re-charge. It is something very much worth striving for. Go for it, buy the book.
"Address only those problems that are true problems to you, and don't create or imagine problems because someone else thinks you have them, no matter if that person is family, friend, or expert."
It's a wonderful reminder that problems are only problems if you think they are and then it's up to you to decide what to do about them. Wow. What a relief! You don't often hear that...as a parent. Usually everyone is trying to tell you what's wrong with how you do things.
My big concern was that my baby was nursing and then falling asleep for her naps. I thought this was a HUGE problem I had to fix. The thing was that I didn't feel like it was a problem; I just kept hearing that from various "expert" sources. Then, in the chapter on nursing to nap, Elizabeth says this:
"If your baby falls asleep nursing, drinking a bottle, or sucking a pacifier and then you are able to put him into bed where he takes a nice, long nap, then nothing needs to change." (page 154)
Another big sigh for me, as my baby was doing naps from 1 hour to over 2 hours in her crib or in our bed. Sure, sometimes the naps were shorter, but that was the exception and not the norm. And there was usually a good reason (such as a noise or the fact that she had had a longer nap earlier in the day and wasn't as tired).
After a lot of great general information on sleeping, napping, etc. in the first part of the book, there are then sections for newborns and older babies, as well as the types of challenges you are facing. You will not need to read the whole book to find solutions; you only need to read what's pertinent to you and your baby. What a great thing for time-constrained people like us parents!
The logs are great, especially the point of doing them every month or two rather than every week or two. This gives a more reasonable time for change and to see improvement. I did a log and came to the realization that the napping was going much better than I had thought. So, while it sometimes will help you spot the bad, the logging can also bring pleasant surprise. :) Still, I am trying some things and will do logs in a month or two to see if things have gotten better.
Lastly, one of my favorite things is that Elizabeth gets you to think of the less obvious, like does my baby sleep better with socks on or off? I hadn't thought to that level and thinking about things like that makes sense (and helps!)
This book, combined with the No-Cry Sleep Solution, have to be must-reads for any new parent to succeed in their new job of raising a happy, well-rested baby.
In brief (below is a more detailed explanation of the pros/cons list)
short and easy to read
a few helpful suggestions
relatively guilt free
no real plan
many suggestions are common sense or just plain fluff
uses little medical research to back her ideas
practically no guidance for people with serious sleep problems
Overall thoughts: As my title states, books that other mothers dub "cry it out" like Babywise (Ezzo) and Healthy Habits, Happy Child (Weissbluth) offer better suggestions and were much more helpful for me ... and I never used the cry it out approach. Weissbluth even agrees with Pantley's idea that cry-it-out will not work for all babies. He just offers it as a suggestion for parents willing and anxious to try it out.
This may be a good starting book for an expecting parent who has little experience with children, but if you are desperately and seriously looking for a solution to solve your child's sleep problems I'd look somewhere else. Just remember there is no one-size fits all program. Read several books and use the parts you like best. You are your child's expert.
***** Greater detail for those interested *****
I'll start with the good. I loved her suggestion to try lightly bouncing the baby's mattress in order to create the sense of "rocking to sleep." This totally worked for me. He still cried a bit at first, but I'd lay on the floor and sush and bounce and over the course of about a week there was no crying and no need to assist in putting to sleep. I was thrilled! After that success I decided I'd read the whole book. The other thing I appreciated was her approach. "You're not a bad mother if you have to rock or sing your baby to sleep. If it works for you and isn't a "problem" keep doing it." Reid is my first and I really didn't mind the time I spent putting him to sleep at night or for naps, and I noticed holding him through a nap or rocking him to sleep once or twice a week didn't mean he wouldn't go to sleep on his own the other 32 times. What a relief. I also liked her charts on appropriate sleep times and stages. Although, almost all books I've read on infant-sleep have similar charts.
Now, for the reason I don't "love" this book. Well, as my title states, I found books other moms have labeled "cry it out" or even "abuse" helped me find a no-cry sleep solution much easier and faster than either of Pantley's books did. Why? Well, a lot of her ideas are kind of common sense. She suggests a gradual removal of the sleep-to-suck association. You simply wait till baby is almost a sleep and then remove the breast or bottle and each day you gradually shorten the time for removal until baby can go to sleep without sucking. Really Pantley, you think you are the first person to come up with that idea? it's called weaning . . . it's been around for centuries. Also, her Pantley dance . . . I found "dancing" my child into his crib from my lab is just natural and common sense -- I don't need your very detailed (like 6 pages long) 8 step approach to teach me how to do this. Kind of fluff if you ask me. In fact, I'd tried a lot of her ideas long before I read her book (tracking sleep and moods through a chart, swaddling, etc) these ideas just felt like common sense when my baby started sleeping poorly.
Her main flaw may be that she has no real plan. I found other sleep books tell you to specifically follow an eat, play, sleep, eat, play sleep routine. Pantley tells you any sort of routine will do just fine. That wasn't so for me. If I put my little one down after eating he'd wake up in 20 minutes. This may work for others . . . but her really loose approach just offers too little guidance in comparison to other books. In her first book (which she refers to often in this book) she literally tells you to just pick a plan, any plan, and stick with it for 2 weeks and at the end of the two weeks see if it improved your situation. Well what if three days in things are worse? She offers very little guidance for parents with serious sleep problems.
She does talk about watching for sleep cues and trying an earlier bed time. But she doesn't go into great detail about either. I found Marc Wiessbluth's book (again, remember I never resorted to crying-it out) explained more appropriately why an early bedtime will help and why sleep cues are so important. He gave me the confidence I needed to trust my little one was tired and would sleep even if he was singing to himself and seemed alert when I laid him in the crib. Pantley had me constantly doubting myself because all her fluff makes it sound like anything and everything will work.
Overall, I think this nap book is much more helpful than her sleep solution book, so if you want to read a Pantley No-Cry book choose this one. But trust me when I say books like Babywise (Ezzro) and Healthy Habits, Happy Child (Weissbluth) were much more useful. I repeat, I did not use cry it out theories to "sleep train" my little one but those books were MUCH more helpful than this one. In fact, both those authors say cry-it-out won't work for everyone. They just offer it as one more solution. Ultimately, you're the parent that decides what suggestions you are going to try. For me, Pantley's aren't earth shattering. I preferred books written by real medical professionals using lots of medical research and more specific plans.
I then purchased The No-Cry Nap Solution because I was only able to get my baby to nap for 30 minutes and he was obviously still tired. After using a few of Pantley's methods I was able to get him to sleep for 1 1/2 hours. Now after seeing many studies that are saying letting your baby CIO can be damaging to their health for the rest of their lives, I am so thankful for Elizabeth Pantley and her approach to helping us teach healthy sleep patterns in a kind way. I highly recommend this book!
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