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The Way of the Superior Man: A Spiritual Guide to Mastering the Challenges of Women, Work, and Sexual Desire
 
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The Way of the Superior Man: A Spiritual Guide to Mastering the Challenges of Women, Work, and Sexual Desire [Format Kindle]

David Deida
5.0 étoiles sur 5  Voir tous les commentaires (2 commentaires client)

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Descriptions du produit

Midwest Book Review

The Way Of The Superior Man takes the reader on a powerful journey into the heart of the contemporary masculine experience. With uncommon honesty and unparalleled insight into the deepest desires of the masculine heart, David Deida explores the most challenging and important issues in men's lives. Covering everything from work and career, to dealing with sex, women, and love, to finding purpose in an increasingly superficial and mechanical world, The Way Of The Superior Man reveals how a man can live a life of fulfillment without compromise by relaxing into the truth of his very being, discovering his deepest vision, and giving his gifts without holding anything back. What emerges is a wholly revolutionary look at what it means to be a man in today's world, as well as an astonishingly practical guidebook to living a masculine life of integrity, authenticity, and freedom. The Way Of The Superior Man is an articulate, insightful, inspiring, and invaluable contribution to today's national dialogue on the proper role of men in an egalitarian and nondiscriminatory society and within traditional and nontraditional families.

Présentation de l'éditeur

The Ultimate Spiritual Guide for Men

What is your true purpose in life? What do women really want? What makes a good lover? If you're a man reading this, you've undoubtedly asked yourself these questions-but you may not have had much luck answering them. Until now.

In The Way of the Superior Man, David Deida explores the most important issues in men's lives-from career and family to women and intimacy to love and spirituality and relationships-to offer a practical guidebook for living a masculine life of integrity, authenticity, and freedom. Join this bestselling author and internationally renowned expert on sexual spirituality for straightforward advice, empowering skills, body practices, and more to help you realize a life of fulfillment, immediately and without compromise.

"It is time to evolve beyond the macho jerk ideal, all spine and no heart," writes David Deida. "It is also time to evolve beyond the sensitive and caring wimp ideal, all heart and no spine." The Way of the Superior Man presents the ultimate challenge-and reward-for today's man: to discover the 'unity of heart and spine' through the full expression of consciousness and love in the infinite openness of the present moment.

 

Contents

Part One:  A Man's Way
Part Two:  Dealing With Women
Part Three:  Working With Polarity and Energy
Part Four:  What Women Really Want
Part Five:  Your Dark Side
Part Six:  Feminine Attractiveness
Part Seven:  Body Practices
Part Eight:  Men's and Women's Yoga of Intimacy

 

Excerpt:

This book is a guide for a specific kind of newly evolving man.  This man is unabashedly masculine-- he is purposeful, confident, and directed, living his chosen way of life with deep integrity and humor-- and he is sensitive, spontaneous, and spiritually alive, with a heart-commitment to discovering and living his deepest truth.

This newly evolving man is not a scared bully, posturing like some King Kong in charge of the universe.  Nor is he a new age wimp, are spineless, smiley, and starry-eyed.  He has embraced both his inner masculine and feminine, and he no longer holds onto either of them.  He doesn't need to be right all the time, nor does he need to always be safe, cooperative, and sharing, like an androgynous Mr. Nice Guy.  He simply lives from his deepest core, fearlessly living his gifts, feeling through the fleeting moment into the openness of existence, totally committed to magnifying love.


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Commentaires client les plus utiles
1 internautes sur 1 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 La voie du commentaire supérieur. 21 avril 2014
Format:Broché
Ayant souffert d'un père un peu absent dans mon éducation, je me suis retrouvé arrivant vers la trentaine manquant un peu d'ambition, étant un peu timide et ne sachant pas trop bien gérer mes émotions.

M'étant penché vers le monde du développement personnel ( self-help books) je peux vous garantir que ce livre est de loin le meilleur dans sa catégorie, bien qu'il n'y est pas vraiment de catégorie.

Il traite avec immense réussite et une qualité d'écriture sans faille, la place de l'homme, sa relation avec Dieu et avec les femmes.

Il est moderne et universel et restera un classique. J'ai d'autres livres de Deida ( certains que j'ai tout juste survolé) mais celui-ci est vraiment le meilleur. Il donne des réponses, des voies, à des questions si peu posé dans notre société.

Ce n'est pas du tout un livre sur l'Homme, c'est un livre pour redonner à l'énergie masculine sa place. ( aussi bien chez les hommes que chez les femmes ). Je sais d'ailleurs que de nombreux coach en séduction, Adam Gilad, Jason Capital l'ont consulté en privée.

David Deida est le meilleur tout simplement. Et ce livre est une pure merveille.

Je lisais un chapitre par jour l'année dernière pour bien m'inculquer sa philosophie dans ma conscience qui s'était affaiblie au cours de ces dernières années.

J'ai lu d'autres livres excellents sur le développement personnel mais je ne donnerais pas de références.

Celui ci ne propose pas d''exercice pratique ou de solution thérapeutique, il expose l'une (?) des voies universelles vers soi.
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1 internautes sur 1 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
Par A.M.
Format:Broché|Achat vérifié
David Deida a une très belle plume. Avec un langage riche, il décrit les relations homme-femme en s'appuyant sur des concepts à la fois pragmatiques et spirituels. Il a une grande finesse dans sa compréhension du monde et éclaire ainsi le lecteur pour qu'il oriente sa vie et ses rapports aux femmes avec confort et profondeur. Cet ouvrage (aux critiques dithyrambiques d'ailleurs) est un guide pour tirer le meilleur de soi, trouver son but dans la vie et l'accomplir. Revigorant comme une grande inspiration d'air frais !
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Commentaires client les plus utiles sur Amazon.com (beta)
Amazon.com: 4.1 étoiles sur 5  462 commentaires
140 internautes sur 161 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
3.0 étoiles sur 5 Lots of good, lots of bad 1 juillet 2012
Par Janus - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format:Broché|Achat vérifié
First of all, if I wasn't already familiar with the good ideas in this book, I would have summarily dismissed the whole thing as feel-good spiritual nonsense. Deida's writing looks like mine when I just start writing what I feel without really trying to make any logical sense. The effect on me while reading was that even though I knew in my head that the words were gibberish, I knew exactly what he was trying to say and which important concepts he was trying to impart. It was an odd experience.

The good:
- Not only does the book start from the premise that there IS a desirable middle ground between being a timid wuss of a man-boy and being a knuckle-dragging, chauvinistic thug; the whole book attempts to be a manual on how to become that middle ground. I would say it's even a good start at succeeding.
- Emphasis on living in pursuit of your own purpose. Not your dad's, not your girlfriend's, not that of disembodied pop culture. Yours.
- The fundamental principle of giving to the world instead of taking.
- The focus on rooting out insecurity.
- The discussions about fundamental differences between masculine and feminine. If you take away nothing other than the realization that there are in fact big differences, the book is worth the read.
- Discussions on things like ego death, living consciously, and the notion of "emptiness." These are basically repackaged Buddhist and samurai concepts. They aren't new, but they are important.

The bad:
- If I read the words "truth" or "love" one more time I thought I might try to reach through my Kindle and choke the author. I disagree with the top positive reviewer: the writing got repetitive VERY quickly.
- The spiritual slant of the writing probably alienates a lot of readers, including me. Luckily it didn't get that bad until later in the book.
- When trying to make legitimate points, like how women often say what they feel instead of what they think, the extremity of his examples undermine him and just make him sound ridiculous. It's no wonder so many women take offense at this book, and it didn't have to be that way.
- Sometimes his writing actually IS just feel-good nonsense. I notice this when he covers the most sensitive subjects, like how men will be attracted to multiple women and how women become less physically attractive as they age. In these subjects, he covers up what he really wants to say in flowery gibberish. This is upsetting to me because he spends the first half of the book preaching about being 100% open and truthful and how real men never hold anything back. Apparently Deida isn't a "superior man" even by his own definition.

Conclusion: It's worth a read, but take it with a HUGE grain of salt.
47 internautes sur 57 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 A book for every man to read, and for their women to read too 29 novembre 2007
Par Mama on the Go - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format:Broché
I first saw this book on my husband's bookshelf before we were married, and I borrowed and read it. My thoughts at the time: Wow, if this man really believes and lives the principles in this book, he is the one for me! Four years of married bliss and a 3-year-old child later, I still think this. David Deida's basic premise: there is a "Way of the Superior Man" that both includes and transcends the "tough" concept of masculinity of our ancestors, and the "sensitive man" concept of more recent years, that frees a man to be both powerful and purposeful, and also feeling and spiritually alive. This has profound effects in all areas of a man's life from work to sex to relationships with women. I can attest to the value of this premise from my husband's success in his career, our marriage/sexual relationship, and as a father and a spiritual being. Being a superior man is not necessarily an easy path, but hugely rewarding. I highly recommend this book to women as well as Deida's books "Dear Lover" and "It's a Guy Thing" to better understand healthy masculine/feminine dynamics and deepen their relationships with men.

For those who feel an author must be "credentialed" (MD or PhD or whatever) to offer this type of advice, or who are looking for hard data research to back up the claims he makes, this book may disappoint. I would just encourage such readers to suspend judgement long enough to give the book a read, take what they find to ring true and useful and leave the rest. There is a lot of value here, and I have found it to be "proven" in my own experience with men and as a woman.
146 internautes sur 190 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
1.0 étoiles sur 5 The Way of the Dysfunctional Relationship 17 juillet 2011
Par Jeremy Arnold - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format:Broché|Achat vérifié
I read this book after seeing it enthusiastically recommended by various sources online, with some ringing endorsements from a few people, like Ken Wilbur, who I respect. I bought it in spite of knowing that it's big with the PUA community. I was very excited to get the chance to read it, but I must admit that I was extremely disappointed. I never sell my books to the used bookstore when I'm finished, but with this one I just might.

As others have pointed out, Deida has no real professional credentials to fall back on, and his official bio is vague. He considers himself "an entertainer," much like the scam artists who masquerade as "gurus" in other fields. His book comes across as little more than the egotistical blovating of a narcissist who's out to bilk his followers for all the love and attention he can get by regurgitating quasi-spiritual pablum.

Deida's prose is sometimes called "poetic," which is a nice way of saying that he's cheesy, vague, and likes to spout trite New Age cliches as if they were ancient wisdom. This was an immediate turnoff as I began reading. What do phrases like "give your gift" mean, exactly? I still don't know, even after seeing this phrase repeated several hundred times.

There are also a ton of problems with Deida's "masculine/feminine polarity" thesis. Yes, there is something like that going on in relationships between men and women, but Deida's concept is far over reaching and very msyogonistic. For exmple, his "feminine essence" is embodied in a woman who's young and physically attractive... and a mindless basketcase of flighty emotions totally incapable of consistency or controlling herself. When she does develop her "masculine side" to develop some self control and capacity for respect and rational thought, then Deida describes her as becoming an asexual shrew. Either way, a woman is certain to be hell to deal with, in Deida's view. "The Superior Man" just accepts this as true and rolls with the punches she gives him.

However, this conception of women is actually *better* than Deida's conception of the "Superior Man." A man who epitomizes the "masculine polarity" and is supposed to be drawn to the psycho "feminine polarity" is described another badly damaged human being who is solely focused on his own goals (which, oddly, is contradicted by his need to control his own emotions, desires, and ego so that he never upsets a woman in any way), never shows emotion, and will happily put up with all sorts of insane crap from a crazy woman because she's so "feminine." Basically, "The Superior Man" is described as a sociopath. This is seen as the key to having a passionate relationship and the ideal that all couples should aspire to.

If a guy doesn't meet that criteria, then he is a wimp. If he ever falls short of perfection in his "masculine polarity" by losing his cool, setting a boundary with women, or doing anything besides what he wants to do at any given moment, then a woman loses all respect and love for him. This is a recipe for a major complex! A healthy relationship requires communication, boundaries, mutual respect for each other as human beings as well as sex objects. The only "relationship" that Deida's rules might actually apply to would be a quick fling here or there, which is probably why the PUA community and its crazed thinking on gender matters treats this as gospel.

All this criticism aside, there are a few moments of insight throughout the book, such as how it's important for a man to pay attention to a woman's emotions and not try to fix her problems, how women want a man who's steadfast and has a direction and goal in life, and how many women prefer a guy who takes the lead in a relationship and handles the traditional male gender roles. However, these are not worth sifting through the author's bloated, shallow, cliche ridden New Age onanism to find.
41 internautes sur 52 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
1.0 étoiles sur 5 The Way of the Inferior Man 27 mars 2012
Par J. Ferrara - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format:Broché
I was so hoping to learn how to be a better man in these pages, but by page 54 I threw this book down in disgust. David Deida pretends to present a guide for a "newly evolving man" but merely cloths the old selfish macho male in new age gibberish. This nonsense includes talk like "know eternity", a man must "refresh the transcendental element of his life through regular meditation and retreat". What? Why? It certainly hasn't helped Deida.
He rarely supports his position with proof, and when he does, he's wrong, as when he states that without a "true purpose", "disconnected from your core", we cannot get an erection (p37). Even a corpse can get priapism (look up `angel lust'); I've even seen this in severe brain injuries. Someone like Deida who taught neurophysiology should know this. His supporting facts are incorrect.
He asks us to treat women like emotionally labile children, who can be pacified by stating we love them, not by seriously dealing with their issues. Dieda's way is a woman's way of handling situations, not a man's. He should have suggested analyzing the concerns and instituting remedies, a man's way. Males are men of action; we get things done, we should not be Deida's self-centered wimps.
His example of a man forgetting to purchase milk (p52) is perfect. The man has been so self adsorbed in pursuit of his "gift to the world" he forgets to bring milk home, demonstrating he can't even do the smallest things to take care of his family, but to Deida, his woman is merely playing a game with him to make him stronger. For him, everything is about him. He suggests laughing it off, falling into the couch and ravishing her. Try this and get knifed. She stated her needs, how she tries to communicate, but he ignores her. He doesn't try to increase communication, nor promises to improve. Of course not, he's self-absorbed in his "purpose". This man is a loser.
Deida states you only need to spend 30 minutes a day in connection with your woman as long as it is quality interaction, like, if you feel like it, ravishing her. Same for children. Just a few minutes and you're free to pursue whatever you want. He states this is really what your family wants too. Not give them your most precious gift, your time. (As if you can schedule when your child suddenly decides to talk to you, or when they might fall and need your reassurance, or don't care if you're not there for their great play in a game). He is all balderdash.
Deida's man is ignorant, silly, weak, and selfish, despicable, in short, an inferior man. We men need to do better. We must do better. (My demographics: married 34 years, grandfather, sandan judo).
53 internautes sur 68 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
1.0 étoiles sur 5 The Way of the Sociopathic Doormat 21 août 2012
Par Jared Angell - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format:Broché
I was given this book to read by a woman I had a very brief attempt at a relationship with and I have to say that this is misogyny dressed up in New Age prose. Read some of the other negative reviews to get a handle on full of it this guy is before you read this book.

Following the advise of this book can probably get you laid with some really hot women with serious daddy issues (and that's why it's so popular in the Pick Up Artist community) but if you want to have a longterm stable, healthy relationship especially with a woman who has children then DO NOT FOLLOW THIS ADVISE. There are plenty of good books out there to help you for this and some of the other reviews will point you in the right direction.

David Deida presents the type of man that Ayn Rand would love in some chapters: a sociopath who is capable of rape; while at the same time in other chapters he tells you basically that you have no right to any feelings and that you should put up with any and all insanity that a woman throws at you. Clearly you can either be one of these guys or the other, and I'm willing to bet that David Deida doesn't have longer-term relationships and wouldn't know the first thing about raising a family.

But that's the trap that the book presents. You will never measure up to the fictional character that Deida presents here but you may find yourself growing increasingly frustrated (and drained) in attempting to do so. DON'T EVEN BOTHER.

There are some tips in this book that will get you places with certain types of women, of course but don't expect anything longterm from this type of chick unless you are the type of dude who would never read a self help book in the first place.

Incidentally, the reason why the relationship I had with the woman who gave me this book was so short lived was probably because I tried to follow Mr. Deida's advise. Never again.

Finally I have to add that if you have self respect and/or respect for women then this book will make you very angry. Repeatedly. I read it as a labor of love, hardest book I ever had to read and I've read several books by Tolstoy and Dostoevsky. I've had a few successful relationships that ended because me and my partner moved to different parts of the world and in those relationships I never for a moment looked at women in the light that Mr. Deida does.
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