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Author Joe Borgenicht doesn't reveal here what he chose to name his son, but you can bet it's not Eubie, Ralph, or Boris. He's right on target when he says parents ought to find the name "that the fewest number of school children could potentially make fun of," and his guidelines are simple. Among them: don't use "clevur speling," avoid naming your kid after the lead character from a blockbuster film, and designate the names of cities and states for maps only. It's not a perfect baby-shower gift for everyone, as he mentions plenty of names that unfortunately rhyme with anatomical parts usually heard only in sex-ed classes. And some of his advice is utterly subjective: the name "Ethan," in his opinion, evokes the image of "a thick sweater-wearing, curly-haired college kid who smokes a lot of pot." But the list of more than 1,000 names to avoid is worth plenty of chuckles, and may save your offspring from 85 or so years of embarrassment. Sure, those pregnancy hormones are powerful, but they needn't be responsible for a lifetime of suffering on the part of your child. --
Erica Jorgensen
Book Description
The perfect antidote to the boring baby-naming books -- a hilarious guide for expecting parents on what NOT to name their baby!
What better way to choose the perfect name than by ruling out those names that are off-limits?
Joe Borgenicht offers more than a thousand names, complete with pronunciation and definitions, that absolutely, positively cannot be used for a child. But don't worry, there are exceptions to the rules, and a lot of names will work just fine, especially if there's something wrong with you. Sections of the book include: "Movie Mania" (Morhpeus, Maverick, and Starsky); "It's the 21st Century: Move On!" (Murray, Irving, and Ethel); and "Shop at the Mall, Not the Nursery" (Timberland, Lucky, and Armani). There are hilarious sidebars and lists, like: "Infamous Dictators" (Saddam, Benito, and Manuel); "Famous Sidekicks" (Robin, Tonto, and Garfunkel); and "First Voted Off the Island" Survivors (Sonja, Debb, and Peter); and more!
We've all heard the bad ones: Moon Unit (Zappa), Sailor Lee (Brinkley), Chastity (Bono). With an edgy and often politically incorrect sense of humor, What Not to Name Your Baby is certain to help expecting parents be creative, without scarring their child for life -- at least not with a name.
