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When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times (Anglais) Broché – 26 septembre 2000

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Descriptions du produit

Revue de presse

"Pema Chodron is one of those spiritual teachers who brings ancient wisdom to bear upon our daily triumphs and tragedies. . . . Incredibly wise and poignantly practical."—Spirituality & Health

"Chödrön's book is filled with useful advice about how Buddhism helps readers to cope with the grim realities of modern life, including fear, despair, rage and the feeling that we are not in control of our lives . . . Chödrön demonstrates how effective the Buddhist point of view can be in bringing order into disordered lives."—Publishers Weekly

"This is a book that could serve you for a lifetime."—Natural Health

"As one of Pema Chödrön's grateful students, I have been learning the most pressing and necessary lesson of all: how to keep opening wider my own heart."—Alice Walker

Présentation de l'éditeur

The beautiful practicality of her teaching has made Pema Chödrön one of the most beloved of contemporary American spiritual authors among Buddhists and non-Buddhists alike. A collection of talks she gave between 1987 and 1994, the book is a treasury of wisdom for going on living when we are overcome by pain and difficulties. Chödrön discusses:

   •  Using painful emotions to cultivate wisdom, compassion, and courage
   •  Communicating so as to encourage others to open up rather than shut down
   •  Practices for reversing habitual patterns
   •  Methods for working with chaotic situations
   •  Ways for creating effective social action

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Détails sur le produit

  • Broché: 160 pages
  • Editeur : Shambhala; Édition : New edition (26 septembre 2000)
  • Collection : Shambhala Classics
  • Langue : Anglais
  • ISBN-10: 1570623449
  • ISBN-13: 978-1570623448
  • Dimensions du produit: 15,2 x 1 x 22,8 cm
  • Moyenne des commentaires client : 5.0 étoiles sur 5  Voir tous les commentaires (3 commentaires client)
  • Classement des meilleures ventes d'Amazon: 9.617 en Livres anglais et étrangers (Voir les 100 premiers en Livres anglais et étrangers)
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1 internautes sur 1 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile  Par Mr. L-francois Pilard le 2 avril 2013
Format: Format Kindle Achat vérifié
Living Beautifully: with Uncertainty and Change, Taking the Leap: Freeing Ourselves from Old Habits and Fears, Practicing Peace in Times of War, and this one are books I have recently rather greedily read and I am surprised, amazed and puzzled at how easily I forget the straightforward advice the author keeps rephrasing; yet before going to work I seldom fail to practise a breathing exercise or meditation inspired from her. Although causes for depression may be searched in our diets too (cf. Gabriel Cousens' books), remedies are to be found here in great simplicity.
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Par Gripond amarine le 19 juin 2013
Format: Broché Achat vérifié
easy to read and relate to.....very good advice... in on-the-spot words that stick in the head !! a life-changing little book !
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Par D. Cavert le 2 septembre 2013
Format: Format Kindle Achat vérifié
Very insightful. It changed me.. for better I hope. Another ay of looking at like, suffering and pain, and happiness.
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Amazon.com: 697 commentaires
425 internautes sur 436 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
A book to read and reread, always new 8 octobre 2002
Par Ronald Scheer - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format: Broché Achat vérifié
I was just finishing this book in September 2001 when the events of 9-11 turned the world upside down, and things truly fell apart. There suddenly were all the vulnerable feelings that Pema Chödrön encourages us to embrace: fear, sorrow, loneliness, groundlessness. And in the days of shock and grief that followed, there was that brief and abundant display of "maitri," or loving kindness, which emerged in waves of generosity and compassion for one another. For a while, we were in the world that she points to as an alternative to the everyday routine of getting, spending, and constant activity.
It is nearly impossible to summarize or characterize this fine book. In some 150 pages it covers more than a person could hope to absorb in many years, if not a lifetime. We may know the Buddha's famous insight that human pain and suffering result from desire and aversion. But few writers have been able to articulate as well as Chödrön the implications of that insight in ways that make sense to the Western mind. As just one example from this book, her discussion of the "six kinds of loneliness" (chap. 9) illustrates how our desires to achieve intimacy with others are an attempt to run away from a deep encounter with ourselves. Our continuing efforts to establish security for ourselves are a denial of fundamental truths, which prevents our deep experience of the joy of living. Our reluctance to love ourselves and others closes down our hearts.
Chödrön invites us to be fascinated, as she is, by paradox. On hopelessness and death (chap. 7) she writes: "If we're willing to give up hope that insecurity and pain can be exterminated, then we can have the courage to relax with the groundlessness of our situation. This is the first step on the path." She gets us to acknowledge our restlessness (even our spiritual restlessness) for what it is, something we do instead of simply paying attention to ourselves in the moment and to what happens next, without judgment or preconceptions.
In addition to this book, I recommend acquiring one or more of her audio tapes and hearing her voice as she speaks before audiences. For all the high-mindedness that may come across in descriptions like the one above, or what you might take away by reading the cover of her book, Chödrön is down to earth and unpretentious, speaking in her American accent (don't let the appearance of her name fool you) and with a self-effacing sense of humor. Her message is in her manner, as much as it is in what she says.
This is a book to buy and read, and reread at intervals, for it is always new, always speaking to you exactly where you are, right now.
266 internautes sur 277 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
Not for the faint of heart! 31 décembre 2002
Par Curtis Grindahl - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format: Broché
This book has resided on the shelf next to my bed for many years and has been read often. Reading through a few reviews at this site it is clear many people are willing to listen to Pema Chodron's uncompromising words about the challenges of being human. For those people seeking a few comforting bromides, who expected a self-help book, this material must surely be unwelcome. But it is far from trite and certainly not depressing. Tibetan Buddhists practice in the charnal grounds not because they're depressives, but because life ends in death for all of us. And charnal grounds in Tibet were places where hacked up bodies were fed to circling vultures...no quickly slipping a deceased body into a casket to avoid confronting the withered body or the odors associated with illness and death for these Buddhists.
When I attended a Pema Chodron lecture some years ago she announced that her favorite manta is "Om, grow up!" It takes great courage to meet life on life's terms and accept responsiblity for our actions. And since life invariably brings challenges associated with disappointment and loss, the work continues to the moment of death. In our addicted society, that is a message all too readily rejected. Pema is not for the faint of heart! But if you intend to claim your aliveness, to risk intimacy, to share joy, her words are worth attending to. Namaste.
168 internautes sur 176 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
It works for me... 31 mai 2005
Par Nana Annie - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format: Broché
This book does not promise short term, quick fixes but encourages a way of life that will make living more joyful and meaningful - pain, change and all.

This is not a book of "thought" filled advice from the mind, but a book (as the subtitle states) of heart advice. Pema openly shares some of her own experience as things fall apart, when her old way of doing things was no longer working.

I bought it to give to my (fully grown) son when he was going through some difficult times. It wasn't what he needed or related to, so I read it myself.

I like the way she points out that when things fall apart, that usually means we are on the brink of a change of some kind. My usual practice is to try to hold on to the familiar ways, but as I am finding out, that just doesn't work. And if it does, I am usually even more miserable. Depending on the kind of change you are experiencing, allowing it to happen with less resistance, without fear, can ease the opening to a new way.

This is a disturbing thought to many of us. Give in? No way. Why, what if your spouse is cheating and you lose your job and you have a fatal illness and the sky is falling and you don't resist? (Ah, well -- most probably your spouse will still have cheated, that job will be lost, you will still have the illness and the sky will continue to fall.)

On page 10 she says, "To stay with that shakiness -- to stay wth a broken heart, with a rumbling stomach, with the feeling of hopelessness and wanting to get revenge-- that is the path of true awakening. Sticking with that uncertainty, getting the knack of relaxing in the midst of chaos, learning not to panic-- that is the spirtual path."

This book reminds us again, that going with the pain, confusion, disorder of those falling apart times is necessary. Eventually we can get to a place where the pain does not seem so big or so deep, where we are no immersed in our own dramas but see everything on a larger world wide scale.

I liked her section on "It's Never Too Late", which is about not hating ourselves -- and not really condoning ourselves, but observing ourselves -- 'when we buy into disapproval, we are practicing disapproval. When we buy into harshness, we are practicing harshness...The trick then is to practice gentleness and letting go. We can learn to meet whatever arises with curiosity and not make it such a big deal."

This is a truly helpful book, if you can read it expecting a deeper, long-term change in how you experience the unexpected and unwelcome turns we find in our lives.

I realized after reading this, that what I perhaps need to do with my son is not to buy him a book to read, but to be there for him as needed but to allow him to have his own experiences.
82 internautes sur 85 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
The Map and the Compass 21 mars 2007
Par louienapoli - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format: Broché
I wish I could write a helpful review of this book but it strikes me as nearly impossible; the book is so intense and liberating, so honest and direct, it seems like the only words that can do it justice are the author's. I came upon this title at a difficult time. It helped me understand and really feel that things not only fall apart, they get worse. Or sometimes better. But the great teacher is our response to events, or rather, our willingness to face our responses and accept them, and ourselves, our failings and strengths, and to let fear be a teacher.

This book is the opposite of the quick fix, life-is-a-bowl-of-cherries self-help manual. Reading it was an experience laced with sadness, relief, and finally a kind of temperate joy.

All I can really say is that it's a masterpiece in my view; entirely sane, liberating, full of truth and light.
328 internautes sur 365 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
But you have to change... 1 septembre 2012
Par T. Porges - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format: Broché Achat vérifié
I'm giving this very good book one star so I can join the one-star people here at the bottom, and say something in reply to their anger and despair. They are angry at Trungpa and then at Pema, because the message coming from the former and followed by his disciple is, you cannot escape the pain of your obsessions unless you are willing to lose them. Meditation is not a soothing massage after which you can jump right back into the habits that harmed you in the first place. What kind of progress are you making, then? And what is continued bondage to obsession, but despair?

Whether or not you practice Buddhism as a religion, there is no sense in practicing it unless you understand your personal goals to be caught up in compassion. A number of the complainers here talk about depression as a good reason to turn away from others and seek some kind of palliative numbness. Do that if you want to, but in time you will find yourself disappointed with your practice, and distracted by your anxiety and selfishness, which will continue to threaten you. You will find yourself drawn, after all, to compassion. If it was good enough for the Buddha, it should be good enough for you. Your depression and those distractions are one and the same thing, and compassion is the key to unlocking them, and dissolving the depression while turning away from selfishness and your inventory of reasons for anger. This is all very good advice, and I've done a spotty job of following it, but my own progress in alleviating depression has, without question, begun with compassion for the people I perceived as my enemies. You can choose to be healthy or sick, but you can't choose to be healthy while hanging on to the habits that made you sick in the first place.

I'm being incoherent here, because I'm trying to outsmart you and convince you -- not much of a success, really. What hurts me about the supposedly helpful, apparently well-meaning people who hate this book is, it's one of the few things i've read that really helps to alleviate (my own) long-term depression. They represent Pema and her teachers as heartless -- as lacking compassion. And compassion is what she teaches. So they are, in my experience, both wrong and destructively wrong. This inspires me to try to defend a practice that has survived for over two thousand years with no help from me. So my apologies to all the one-star voters: we will all end with compassion, arriving at the pace we choose.
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