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Women With Attention Deficit Disorder: Embracing Disorganization at Home and in the Workplace [Anglais] [Broché]

Sari Solden

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Women With Attention Deficit Disorder: Embrace Your Differences and Transform Your Life Women With Attention Deficit Disorder: Embrace Your Differences and Transform Your Life
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577 internautes sur 586 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 Disorganized? Depressed? Read this. 15 juillet 2001
Par Carol C. - Publié sur
This book should be mandatory reading for any woman who is woefully disorganized. I was always the kid with the messy locker, messy desk, messy bedroom, who eventually evolved into the adult with the messy office and messy house, constantly losing pens and jewelry and keys and phone numbers and important papers, frequently depressed. Getting out the door was a major struggle -- I had to find my keys, find my purse, go b ack to turn off the stove & iron. Then I'd get to where I was going without my list, end up in the checkout line with my purse, but for some reason, it didn't contain my wallet, charge cards or any money (other than the three wadded up singles, change from yesterday's lunch). (The wallet would end up under my bed or sitting on the kitchen table or somewhere.) I'd show up at the gym without my sneakers; I once showed up for a beach vacation without the sunscreen and aloe vera I had purchased the day before just for the trip. I was (and probably still am) the poster child for disorganization, I felt defective for this, ashamed to have people at my home because of the mess. This isn't laziness or simple space-cadetness, it is CLASSIC ADD BEHAVIOR. Recognizing this is extremely useful in figuring out how to deal with all the fallout of the disorganization.
I've also suffered from some debilitating depression over the years, and I've attributed my disorganization to my depression. ("I'm too depressed to wash the dishes.") After reading this (and a few other books), I think it's the other way around. My disorganization and complete inability to sort things out, attributable to ADD, has led to depression.
When my doctor first suggested ADD (in response to my concerns with depression), I was surprised. After all, I'm not a hyperactive twelve-year-old boy who can't seem to do well in school despite ability and intelligence. Rather, I was able to whiz through school, collecting good grades at every step along the way. That's not uncommon with women with ADD -- they can actually thrive in structured environments. It's difficult for them to excel in a wholly unstructured environment. Most are great at creative, strategic thinking. If an activity is highly stimulating, they will hyperfocus and do quite well (although perhaps spending more time than is appropriate for the task). If something is seemingly mundane or ministerial, it just doesn't get done. In other words, ADD incorporates not only an inability to focus, but a tendency to hyperfocus on occasion.
If your life is all fumbling in your oversized purse for keys or a pen, trying to find the little yellow sticky note with someone's phone number, paying your bills and taxes late because you can't find your checkbook, an envelope, a stamp, READ THIS BOOK. Unfortunately, physicians typically overlook the possibility of ADD in women (they don't get to see the stacks and stacks of papers in our homes & offices) -- and therefore, we're left thinking we're disorganized failures. This book gives you plenty of suggestions for exploring diagnosis, and/or treatment, and for conquering, or at least making the most of, disorganization.
(PS -- If this helps, I highly recommend Sandra Felton's books for "Messies" -- (search for "Messies" -- there are several choices; I like Messie Motivator.) Although she doesn't use the term "ADD," she focuses as much on the psychological & self-esteem issues of messiness as on dealing with the disorganization.)
295 internautes sur 299 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 "Women with ADD" : separating "women" and "disorder". 25 juillet 1997
Par Un client - Publié sur
As a clinical social worker who also happens to be a woman with ADD, this book was not only a practical help to me, but a personal support as well. Of particular poignancy and importance is Ms. Solden's advice that we "embrace our disorganization" rather than feel repelled and ashamed of it. She talks glowingly of attending a conference where the attendees were primarily adult ADD folks, and the comraderie and closeness she felt with all these people who were trying to find lost keys, fumbling for pencils, or interrupting one another, but doing so in an atmostphere of acceptance.

The most significant focus within Ms.Solden's book is that the hiding (of ADD symptoms and habits) needn't continue. You can come out of your ADD closet and find a place for yourself amongst the "normal" folks in the world. Accurate diagnosis is essential, and then appropriate treatment, whether it be via medication, supportive psychotherapy or "coaching", whereby a family member, friend or therapist helps you stay on track.

Looking at ADD with compassion and humor is something many women who are "in hiding" with the disorder may find difficult to do. But, when the hiding is over, so is the shame. This book offers hope to those who may not have believed it to be possible, yet it also avoids being saccharine or preachy. A very balanced view of a disorder that, for many of us, causes us to feel un-balanced.
225 internautes sur 233 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 women with attention deficit disorder 9 décembre 1999
Par Deirdre - Publié sur
Funny thing with this book. I did not know anything about it, did not even know that adults could have ADD. I was at the library, and as I was reaching for another book "Women with Attention deficit..." literally fell into my hand. I renewed this book over ten times. I am placing an order to give as Christmas gifts. At the risk of sounding dramatic I must be truthful and say that this book saved my life. I am one of these misdiagnosed women. My therapist was adamant that I do not have ADD. I was hurt by this because I thought he would help me develop what I was learning. I continued applying the lessons without his help. Sari Solden, where have you been all my crazy, disorganized life? I am so grateful for what I learned. Since reading this, I have raised my standards. No more bottom barrel jobs for this woman here. I interview like a pro, I know my gifts now, I can go on and on. I will never go back to what I was, (I do not know how I lived this way for so long) The best thing this wonderful brilliant professional did for me is to help me get over my shame about my so called secret. I love myself. I am a single mother, and my kids do not recognize me now. I am a wonderful, creative, assertive, organized, efficient, smart, beautiful, superduper black sister now! Thanks Ms.Solden. I just want you to know that I pray for you and ask God to continue blessing you for your bringing this much needed hope and empowerment to ADD women.
79 internautes sur 81 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 A Book that Reassures and Guides 24 mars 2001
Par Un client - Publié sur
I picked this book up while cruising the bookstore for books on ADD, which both my son and I have. When I started reading, I had to put it down and go get a pencil. I underlined everything that was me--the book ended up looking like a flat zebra. In spite of myself I tend to feel ashamed, as though I have bad character, so to have a book addressed specifically to how ADD would look in a woman was wonderful. It isn't just that many women experience it differently than men, but also that the kinds of situations we find ourselves in are different. (Housecleaning!!!!!Nurturing!!!) Only down side, only not really, was that I had my then fiance, a psychologist, read it. He gave it back and said grumpily "this says you have no intention of changing." He's history now and I'm married to a lovely man who is more disorganized than I am.
42 internautes sur 42 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 ESSENTIAL reading for ADD in women 24 août 2001
Par Un client - Publié sur
Women face an incredible wall of disbelief from professionals when it comes to the diagnosis of ADD. This book acknowledges the additional gender-based expectations women face, exacerbating our difficulties, when it is a struggle just to meet the basic demands of daily life. Clearly explains what ADD is and is not, helps sort through the tangle step by step. Undiagnosed ADD can have us running ourselves ragged with no explanation, no hope of an answer, and "no excuse" for our problems. This book sheds light in so many areas that will never apply to the lives of men in this society. For women coming to terms with ADD, this is a MUST READ. Brings to light our disjointed lives, striving hard to hide the depth of our incompetence, hiding the mess at home and at work, the frantic behind-the-scenes scramble to keep up with the demands of everyday life. Gives hope and courage in the face of professional ignorance and reluctance to believe women, especially WITHOUT hyperactivity. It felt like my life was spread out before me in the pages of this book. Clearly delineated a struggle I thought was mine alone. When your friends and your therapist are saying "Oh, EVERYONE thinks they are ADD", tune in to this book. Let it be your guide in the search for an answer.
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