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Words Can Change Your Brain: 12 Conversation Strategies to Build Trust, Resolve Conflict, and Increase Intima cy [Format Kindle]

Andrew Newberg , Mark Robert Waldman

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Descriptions du produit

Présentation de l'éditeur

In our default state, our brains constantly get in the way of effective communication. They are lazy, angry, immature, and distracted. They can make a difficult conversation impossible. But Andrew Newberg, M.D., and Mark Waldman have discovered a powerful strategy called Compassionate Communication that allows two brains to work together as one. Using brainscans as well as data collected from workshops given to MBA students at Loyola Marymount University, and clinical data from both couples in therapy and organizations helping caregivers cope with patient suffering, Newberg and Waldman have seen that Compassionate Communication can reposition a difficult conversation to lead to a satisfying conclusion. Whether you are negotiating with your boss or your spouse, the brain works the same way and responds to the same cues. The truth, though, is that you don't have to understand how Compassionate Communication works. You just have to do it. Some of the simple and effective takeaways in this book include: • Make sure you are relaxed; yawning several times before (not during) the meeting will do the trick • Never speak for more than 20-30 seconds at a time. After that they other person's window of attention closes. • Use positive speech; you will need at least three positives to overcome the effect of every negative used • Speak slowly; pause between words. This is critical, but really hard to do. • Respond to the other person; do not shift the conversation. • Remember that the brain can only hold onto about four ideas at one time Highly effective across a wide range of settings, Compassionate Communication is an excellent tool for conflict resolution but also for simply getting your point across or delivering difficult news.

Biographie de l'auteur

Andrew Newberg, M.D. is the Director of Research at the Myrna Brind Center of Integrative Medicine at Thomas Jefferson University Hospital and Medical College. He is the author of several books, including the bestselling Why God Won’t Go Away, and his research has been featured in Time, Newsweek, Oprah Magazine, and on the Discovery Channel, the National Geographic Channel, the BBC and NPR.

Mark Robert Waldman is Adjunct Faculty at Loyola Marymount University, Los Angeles, where he teaches Executive Communication in the EMBA program. He is a business and personal development coach and the author of twelve books, including the bestselling How God Changes Your Brain, (co-authored with Newberg and named by Oprah as one of nine “must read” books for 2012).

Détails sur le produit

  • Format : Format Kindle
  • Taille du fichier : 1684 KB
  • Nombre de pages de l'édition imprimée : 267 pages
  • Editeur : Plume; Édition : Reprint (14 juin 2012)
  • Vendu par : Amazon Media EU S.à r.l.
  • Langue : Anglais
  • ASIN: B0074VTHMA
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  • Classement des meilleures ventes d'Amazon: n°176.669 dans la Boutique Kindle (Voir le Top 100 dans la Boutique Kindle)
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Amazon.com: 4.5 étoiles sur 5  87 commentaires
95 internautes sur 102 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 Done it again 14 juin 2012
Par Neil Schuitevoerder - Publié sur Amazon.com

Newberg and Waldman have done it again! Oprah picked their last book as a "Must Read" for 2012, and in this book they've identified 12 brain-based strategies that can surely help - at home or work - to improve communication skills. The technique is called "Compassionate Communication:" you enter a state of deep relaxation and focus, which includes an inner values exercise, then, when you converse with another, they teach you specific techniques involving nonverbal expressions and vocal tones. One strategy creates a "Mona Lisa" smile that causes the listener's brain to neurologically resonate to the speaker to build trust and foster cooperation. I've used many of these techniques and they can be powerful. The book includes a 20 minute training exercise and I've seen people tear up after a few minutes of practice.
Here are some of the highlights of my favorite chapters:

In THE POWER OF WORDS, the authors show how negativity can undermine a dialogue. They discuss the 3:1 positivity ratio that has been proven to improve personal relationships and work productivity.

In THE MANY LANGUAGES OF THE BRAIN, the authors cover cutting edge research involving the evolution of speech. Some words even have specific flavors!

THE LANGUAGE OF CONSCIOUSNESS: This was one of my favorite chapters because it shows how everyday consciousness is governed by a constant flow of inner speech. When you interrupt it, your conversations can become really meaningful.

THE LANGUAGE OF COOPERATION:Apparently it takes about seven seconds to create a state of "neural resonance" between two people, and research even sheds light on how plants communicate with each other.

THE LANGUAGE OF TRUST: In this chapter the authors elucidate about micro-expressions on the face and how to read the subtle emotions in others. Of interest is the section on how to tell if a person is being honest or deceitful.

Ch 8 guides you through twelve steps, backed up by over 100 scientific studies. Ch 10 offers specific advice for using Compassionate Communication with couples. I found this very useful. Ch 11 shows how to apply it in work situations, and Ch 12 shows how easy it is to use with children. This was an extremely useful and fascinating book, original and easy to read!
27 internautes sur 28 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
3.0 étoiles sur 5 12 Steps to more efficient commnunication 31 janvier 2014
Par Eve - Publié sur Amazon.com
The material presented in this book is very interesting; I listened to the audio book format and must confess if it weren't because I was listening to it on my commute to work I would probably never have finished it. I am glad I pushed through, because halfway (or towards the end of the book) I find out (spoiler alert) that studies have shown that when you speak slowly and using a monotone voice, the message is carried across "neutrally", the listener will have a chance to absorb what is being said and the message won't feel "aggressive". WOW! That explained why the book was read in a monotone voice speaking very s-l-o-w-l-y that at times had me zone out. The book also states that you should convey your message in 30 seconds or less, more than that and you will lose your audience.

I loved that this book was based on neuroscience. At one point in the book, Mark Robert Waldman explains how when we use words "for" both positive and\or negative exaggeration they generate distrust and disconnect in the listeners... Words like: amazing, excellent, fabulous, fantastic, incredible, marvelous, etc.... Good for me to know... now I need to go through all my reviews and remove all those words and make sure I am not using them in that way in my conversations...

In "Words Can Change Your Brain... " Andrew B. Newberg and Mark Robert Waldman shows us the power we have with our words. It was a very interesting read and while its not an "exciting" subject, the book does have useful "takeaways" to help us communicate more efficiently and positively.

While it was a good book (audio), I feel it was very wordy, I was almost relieved when I finished it. Don't know how to explain it, but it almost felt like it would take a long time for the "point" to be delivered. At times I would space out and "rewind".
35 internautes sur 39 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 Recommended for people with mouths 15 juin 2012
Par Josiah Hultgren - Publié sur Amazon.com
Another great book from two of the world's most respected nuero-researchers

Word's Can Change your brain is one of the most insightful and practicable books for improving your day-to-day life.
Why is that? Because we talk a lot - probably too much as the book points out.

Throughout life we hear platitudes about the value of listening more than speaking, but Words Can Change Your Brain drives it home as something you want to do for yourself (assuming you'd like to be smarter, live longer, cultivate positive feelings, have deeper relationships, be more productive, influence people, resolve conflicts, etc.) Further, the book provides you with simple, research backed strategies to effective, perhaps life-transforming, conversation.

If the meaning of life is found in relationships, I can think of no better investment than to study communication; and Word's Can Change Your Brain is the perfect place to start.
27 internautes sur 30 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 Want to be a great leader? Try listening 21 juin 2012
Par Margaret Thompson - Publié sur Amazon.com
I am writing this review from an organizational perspective, and I hope to be especially helpful to those in organizational leadership roles. Leaders have to do a lot of talking in order to make themselves understood. Or do they? Newburg isn't so sure. She's putting her bet on listening. But this isn't the "shut up and listen" type. Nor is it the active listening promoted by so many therapists. This is a neurologically-based method for providing the optimal listening experience to whoever you are communicating with. This means that their ideas and insights can be maximized, to provide the most useful input possible

For example, the author recommends a 3:1 positive comment to negative comment ratio. This is the same ratio recommended in the groundbreaking Practice of Creativity by George Prince. In fact, a lot of the material in this book is a rehash of that classic material. However, the book certainly builds on older material, and updates it with contemporary research.

The objective is to foster an environment in which a speaker feels free and open to become vulnerable, to take verbal risks, and to make mental and communication connections that they would avoid in a less "safe" environment. So, if you are a leader looking to bring out the best ideas, information and trust in your subordinates, you really ought to check this book out. And, as I mentioned above, I also recommend the much earlier Practice of Creativity.
17 internautes sur 18 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
4.0 étoiles sur 5 Thought provoking 29 décembre 2012
Par Paddling in the SE - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format:Format Kindle|Achat vérifié
I had not read any of their other works and after reading other reviews I was a little leery. Turns out I enjoyed this book and have incorporated some of the concepts into everyday use. There is a bit of repitition, but it is necessary as the exercises require you to repeat actions or thoughts in order to make them part of your everyday routine.

There is an offer for MP3's to support the exercises, but when I went to their website, they wanted an additional $27 for them, which was not disclosed in the book. If you are interested in positive pscyhology, this seems like a good read.
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