le 18 mai 2012
I cared for my Mother through three years of Parkinson's disease with dementia. It was heartbreaking and frustrating for me. I was exhausted by the adversarial nature of our relationship each day. I so much wish I had found Elder Rage 2/E: How to Survive Caring for Aging ParentsElder Rage, or Take My Father... Please! How To Survive Caring For Aging Parents sooner. There were so many great ideas, especially on how to get help and get through to various agencies exactly what was happening since my Mother had been a very strong woman, used to taking care of others and herself. It was impossible for her to give up any of the responsibilities that had gotten her through many years of a difficult life. She would not stop driving until she broke her hip. She did not know how to accept help. She knew nothing of her finances.
Jacqueline Marcell had been through all of this and more. Her Father, in particular, was especially difficult, physically as well as mentally and emotionally. She found ways to distract him, get him the medical help he needed, find the right caregiving help and recognize that her parents still needed each other but could not be together until she found the right combination of help. She also managed to keep them from wasting the financial resources they had, another common problem among the elderly with dementia.
She also recognized that she could not care for them alone and still needed to have some life of her own through working. How many of us can just stop work and care for our parents? Very few, I think. She found solutions, always evolving but still solutions. The last part of the book gives many, many places to seek help. Her advice to never stop, that if one agency or person cannot help, then keep trying with the next one, is great advice.
The best part of this book for me was her spirit of never giving up. She obviously loved her parents very much. I can feel her exhaustion and frustration at the beginning but also her determination to find solutions.
I wish I had found this book so much sooner. It would have eased my Mother's situation and it would have eased my heart.
le 20 mai 2012
Problems with aging and difficult parents has to be a universal issue. Within my own family the situations were very similar to Ms. Marcell's. I was helped by not only her ability to laugh throughout the book, but I gained helpful information and knowledge that fit many of our family's issues. I have given this book to family and friends and all have given the book ELDER RAGE high marks for its wisdom and relativity. Bless you, Ms. Marcell!
le 21 mai 2012
Wow, there is so much valuable information presented with humor, dignity and realism. Anyone caring for a difficult elder starting to get dementia will benefit immensely! Great to see it is now also available as an Audio and eBook.
le 30 mai 2012
Elder Rage tells a gripping poignant tale in a way that somehow keeps you laughing because Jacqueline's humor is stupendous, even as she reveals such horrific situations that prevent you from putting the book down! It's truly heroic how she perseveres, even after her father throws her out of the house and calls her horrible names. The rest of us mere mortals would have abandoned him long before, but she overcomes and solves every detail.
In addition to the riveting story, Elder Rage is packed with innovative advice and creative tips for caregivers--like putting Velcro on items so they can be easily secured, moved and operated. There are so many things I would have done differently for my loved ones had I only read this book earlier, but at least I now know how to help my children with my husband's and my care when the time comes. Hopefully we won't be as challenging!
Jacqueline would be a great guest for any talk show and especially Oprah, who would love her candid humor. You can listen to her Coping with Caregiving radio show at her ElderRage.com website, another great resource.
le 1 juin 2012
Wonderful book, great lady ! Jacqueline has created a "wonder Book" for care givers, which should be on the N Y Times Best Sellers List !! I'm in my 80's so hit the bed early, but "Elder Rage" kept me up, and wide awake, as I was unable to put it down. I was a care giver for my husband, who had Alzheimer's, and have been a Support Group facilitator for many years. Hence, I have heard many stories, and read about 40 books on this subject. Jacqueline's compassion, humor and love makes this TRUE story the very best of all books. She includes a Behavior Modification section which is brilliant, and so helpful. When I e mailed Jacqueline how much I loved her book she graciously sent me "The Further Adventures of Mariel and Jake" about what happened since the end of the book - quite a love story, - It's like getting two books for the price of one!
It is required reading for my support group (everyone benefits from the knowledge) - it really should be required for all dementia care givers.
I have just finished reading it for the second time, it was so interesting!
le 4 mars 2013
As a scientist and clinician having helped care for numerous Alzheimer's patients, I am thoroughly impressed with Jacqueline's tenacity to solve caregiving crisis after crisis -- and her courage to share such an intimate family portrait in a gripping memorable way. Highly educational and comforting for those going through similar challenges. If you are caring for a difficult elder or worry you will be, you will be empowered and entertained by this insightful book. Highly recommend!!
--Christopher N. Ochner, Ph.D., Author, 'The Alzheimer's Diet', Faculty, St. Luke's Roosevelt Hospital Center, Columbia University College of Physicians & Surgeons
le 5 juillet 2012
I am so grateful I found 'Elder Rage', because as a caregiver to my challenging 85 year old mother (by far the hardest job I have ever had), it has helped me so much! I have read several books about caring for elderly parents, but this is the only one that taught me how to do a better job and roll with the daily punches to survive. With poignant humor, Jacqueline show us why our loved ones are afraid, confused, losing control, and supplies insight and specific methods to manage every aspect of their care. Through her amazing story and valuable self-help section, we learn to stop thinking like overwhelmed daughters to become responsible caregivers, two very different roles. If you are a caregiver, or worry you may become one, I highly recommend 'Elder Rage' to you!
le 6 janvier 2013
Encouraging, Entertaining, Educational!
My beloved father suffered from Alzheimer's and I have written hundreds of articles and a book on the subject, so I understand very well the extreme range of emotions and experiences Jacqueline describes. Thankfully she had the will to persevere, solve each crisis, and come out on the other side to share her success story in such a compelling way to help those undergoing the heart-wrenching turmoil of caring for a loved one with dementia.
--Kathleen Clary Miller, Author, ‘When Forgetting Is a Gift--Placing My Father In An Alzheimer's Facility’ (Amazon Kindle)
le 21 juin 2012
"Elder Rage" creatively solves numerous problems that emerge as a result of elders living longer and needing help in so many unplanned ways. There is a lack of awareness in our society about effective approaches to eldercare, but there is much to learn from Ms. Marcell as she pushes through to thrive. She doesn't stop searching for answers and refuses to accept limiting ones, demonstrating how we can make a huge difference in our own elder's quality of life. She also includes links to helpful caregiving resources. I highly recommend it!
--John Caruso, CPA