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The Aware Baby (Anglais) Broché – 1 mai 2001

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Descriptions du produit

Book by Solter Aletha Jauch

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Format: Broché Achat vérifié
I found the theory from Aletha Solter by reading an article by a spanish therapist (Angel Alvarez) about the crying needs of a baby.
Being recently the mother of a "high need crying" baby that had a very diffcult delivery and being surrounded of baby counselours that advocated that a baby should never cry, I was trying together with my partner to mitigate all the crying sources for my baby. But I always felt inside that there was something wrong that a baby can't cry, and after a while I had the impression that was something wrong with my baby as well. Finding this theory and the reading this book is helping me to create a new relationship with my son, he is much more alert and happy, although the intense crying sometimes. I feel much more confident as a mother and I have earned a better perception of a baby state of mind. The book is very well written and it is very comprehensible.
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Commentaires client les plus utiles sur (beta) HASH(0x984761e0) étoiles sur 5 45 commentaires
35 internautes sur 36 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
HASH(0x98458c30) étoiles sur 5 A must read for all parents 31 mars 2006
Par T. Bucknam - Publié sur
Format: Broché
I just finished reading this book and think it is extrordinary. This book is built on the premise that babies need to cry--in parents' arms with tender, loving support--in order to release stress. When adults intervene to stop the crying (if there is no immediate cause like hunger, pain, dirty diaper, etc) they can inadvertently prevent the baby from healing from stresses and hurts. She included a story on crying it out/sleep training with her son that was really heartbreaking; her discussion of co-sleeping is powerful and very supportive. Some of her ideas are controversial; she opposes comfort nursing to stop crying, for example. However, her approach is very loving, respectful, and supportive of the baby. I've been implementing some of her suggestions and am so wonderfully surprised to see my 12-month old daughter happier and more relaxed than I have ever known her.

Her section on discipline is really illuminating. She believes that it is impossible for a baby to "misbehave." By extension, there is no reason to punish or threaten a baby for his/her actions. She also has an interesting discourse on the problem with praise. Solter promotes "democratic discipline" as opposed to authoritarian or permissive parenting. Democratic discipline involves meeting problem behaviors with a response that honors the needs of all involved. She includes several real-world examples to illustrate this method. She also encourages natural consequences wherever possible and includes an interesting discussion about why they are so much more useful than parent-created ones.
24 internautes sur 26 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
HASH(0x98458d80) étoiles sur 5 Extremely Valuable Information 7 octobre 2005
Par Judie C. McMath - Publié sur
Format: Broché
It is vital that this information get out to the general public. So few parents really realize what traumatizes a child, and how to help. Also, few parents realize how detrimental punishment and rewards are to the development of a child. Our whole society is based upon CONTROLLING other people, and that is what is taught throughout society at every turn. How lovely and refreshing to see someone really respecting children as human beings and treating them democratically, and giving us actual tools to use to do this. I have attended Dr. Solter's workshops and she is very helpful in providing concrete examples of what to do, as is this book. What's great is, she has raised her own two children using this method of no punishment or rewards, and with allowing them to freely express their emotions as needed, and she has two bright, loving caring adult children to show for it. You're children WON'T become manipulative, they will become self-regulated and self-disciplined. I can vouch for the fact that using punishment and rewards is a trap, it doesn't work to produce the kind of child I wanted, I have freely allowed my children to make their own choices about their lives, and I am very pleased with the results. It's great when they feel valued and respected instead of controlled. The book has great scientific research about the effects of punishment and stress children's brain development. It's worth the read just to learn about all the great research that's been done which no one ever hears about.
24 internautes sur 26 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
HASH(0x9913c0d8) étoiles sur 5 Help for Frazzled Parents!!! 22 avril 2003
Par Un client - Publié sur
Format: Broché
When my child was a baby he cried a lot, and this made me desperate. Of course, I nursed him, held him, talked to him, changed his diaper, rocked him, bounced him, wore him in a sling, etc. Sometimes these actions would "help" (he would stop crying), and sometimes he just kept on fussing or crying. At those times I felt like a terrible mom. Why is my child so sad, I would wonder. Thank goodness for Dr. Aletha Solter! With her approach (based on copious research), I came to see that crying can be a release mechanism.
Parents misguidedly think that the crying itself is the problem. For example, if a child falls down, he is crying because of the hurt (or surprise) of the fall. Getting him to stop crying is not stopping the pain! Dr. Solter's work taught me how to be with my crying child in a respectful, loving, gentle way.
This book is NOT about leaving your child to cry!!! It is not a "cry it out" approach. It is about sensitively filling your child's needs and being present with her in her hour of need.
I strongly recommend it.
32 internautes sur 37 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
HASH(0x9913c498) étoiles sur 5 The BEST parenting book ever... I have proof! 14 mai 2003
Par Un client - Publié sur
Format: Broché
(I came to to buy the new edition of this book for a friend and decided I had to write a review.) If you could have only one book about babies/parenting, this would be the book you should choose! The information in this book and your use of it will be the gift of a lifetime for your child. I read the original edition of this book in March '85 before the birth of my first child. My children are now 17, 15 and 12, and they are AWESOME. I wonder sometimes that it is just my opinion because I am their mother, but we have gotten and still get sincere compliments about our children from waitresses, teachers, coaches, relatives, other parents and even other children!
I had the notion that all babies are born perfect, and it is the parents' job to insure that nothing in their childrearing changes that. That notion coupled with following the advice and guidance of Aletha Solter in "The Aware Baby" are the recipe for the best children you can imagine. Most people, myself included, suffered some form of abuse as children from parents who knew no better. Many of us spend years in therapy trying to heal those wounds. "The Aware Baby" will help you raise your children so all of their "wounds" are healed as they occur. You are shown how to respect your childrens feelings and allow them to experience them fully. This way nothing gets buried inside waiting to trip them up later in life.
To many people this approach to parenting will seem wonderful but difficult: you must give your child what you may never have gotten. The wonderful thing about this is that in the process you will reap your own rewards of your beautiful parenting.
Actually, the best testimony for this book came from my oldest son who recently said, "Mama, when I have kids will you raise them for me? You have done such a great job with us." I told him that I was honored by his request, but I assured him of the truth that I know in my heart: he has absorbed every gift that I got from "The Aware Baby" and will be an awesome father some day.
12 internautes sur 12 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
HASH(0x9913c24c) étoiles sur 5 One of a kind, vital information! 5 septembre 2005
Par S. Grant - Publié sur
Format: Broché
I received this book when my daughter was a baby and it helped me to understand -- and to be understanding of -- her crying. Once all her needs -- including comfort were met, there was still a need for her to release tensions. Solter's book allowed me to provide her with this release, while still "being there" for her in a calmer manner.

I also read Dr. Sears' books, but they always left me feeling that I was "doing something wrong." Sometimes babies just do cry and there is no other reason that can be pinpointed. This is the only book that helps you realize the natural release that crying is. If you have ever felt the relief that comes after a good cry, you will undertand how practical and reasonable Solter's ideas are. (Her advice is also based on sound science).

The advice in this book is really so practical -- it is almost obvious -- that it is frustrating to realize how are society has turned the natural process of crying into something to be viewed negatively. After reading this book, I still cringe every time I hear a quiet baby referred to as a "good" baby and crying as "bad." If your baby is crying there is nothing wrong with you -- or with your little one. (Once other medical and other needs have been addressed).

The Aware Baby focuses most on the baby years but outlines Solter's research and ideas and on crying very clearly and also helps with older children. I would advise reading this book first and then reading her other books (Tears and Tanrums, and Helping Young Children Flourish), which are invaluable resources as your child grows and begins to enter the world on his/her own.

By advocating crying, Solter is not encouraging you to let your child fuss or to give in to your child's demands. On the contrary, Solter advises that parents provide clear limits and say no to their child when necessary. They must realize, however, that their child has the right and need to release their stress and disappointments through crying and even raging. My daughter is now school-age and I use these books as references at least once a month.

If only more parents and educators alike would read Solter's books our world would be able to provide children with the real compassion and respect they deserve. And many of the problems and stresses facing our children would be alleviated. Don't delay -- buy this book!
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