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Calling in "The One": 7 Weeks to Attract the Love of Your Life (Anglais) Broché – 10 février 2004

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Description du produit

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Week One
Preparing For Love

"Someday, after we have mastered the winds, the waves, the tides and gravity, we shall harness for God the energies of love. Then for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire."
--Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

Too often, we believe our private agonies are ours alone to bear, forgetting that we are part of a vast collective where the majority of our concerns are shared in one form or another by many other people.

This week:

*We will explore the impact that the culture around us is having on our collective ability to create loving and meaningful relationships

*We will prepare ourselves for love by opening our hearts to those in our lives at a whole new level, exploring and expanding our capacity for healthy interdependence

*We will cultivate a vision of love fulfilled to begin anchoring and designing our lives around the realization of love

*We will begin taking specific actions that are consistent with, and supportive of, a future of love fulfilled

LESSON 1

Expanding Our Capacity to Love and Be Loved

"If you want to learn to love, then you must start the process of finding out what it is, what qualities make up a loving person and how these are developed. Each person has the potential for love. But potential is never realized without work."
--Leo Buscaglia, Love

One reason that so many of us do not have the love we are longing for is that we have not yet become the people we will need to be in order to attract and sustain that kind of love. Most of us have dramatically elevated our standards of what we want from a partner far beyond what our parents expected from romantic union. Yet we may not have evolved our level of maturity to the point where we can manifest and maintain the love that we are hoping to create.

Romantic relationship today is a tentative and uncertain thing. No longer is getting married the safe and secure way to go. Whereas once upon a time people coupled up out of economic and social necessity, we now seek to form such unions in an attempt to create soulful and meaningful lives. Yet, much of the time, falling in love means that we end up standing by helplessly as we watch it all slip through our fingers. Why can't we seem to hold on to the glorious transcendence of love? Why can't we seem to harness passion, root it down, and make a home of it?

Some would say that romantic love is an illusion. A trick of nature meant to entice us into procreation. In the aftermath of a devastating breakup, we find ourselves asking, was he or was he not my soul mate? Was it or was it not real love? The most beautiful moments of our lives become reduced to their lowest common denominator: hormones, lust, and those most dreaded of words--"It was just infatuation."

Yet many understand, if only intuitively, that romantic love holds a promise that we have yet to fully comprehend. Instinctively, we know it holds a key to our expansion. Because romantic love has such a profound capacity to bring out the best--and the worst--in us, we are beginning to see it as our newest frontier for spiritual growth and development.

Rather than calling us into seclusion, the spiritual path now beckons us deeper into the quality of our relationships. This premise is the very crux of the new term "spiritual partnership," which has recently emerged to describe the modern-day paradigm of marriage. What exactly is this new paradigm of marriage that everyone is speaking of? Well, if the concerns of the old paradigm were economic stability and morally sanctified sex, then the concerns of the new paradigm have to do with fulfilling our soul's destiny and actualizing our full potential. Spiritual partnership implies a goal of encouraging and supporting the unfolding of each other's soul's reasons for being here in the first place.

Not too long ago, being spiritual meant moving away from relationships by going off alone to the mountaintop or the monastery. However, it now means allowing ourselves to become fully immersed in knowing and being known fully by another human being. It means learning the terrain and the language of love through a commitment to the spiritual advancement of another person. It means learning to be completely vulnerable and undefended while at the same time being 100 percent authentic and true to ourselves. And it means going beyond the pervasive ideas of our parents' generation that romantic union was about compromise and sacrifice, and moving into an experience of romantic love as expansive and inclusive. In other words, those who still believe that romantic love and spiritual love are two different things understand little about the direction that either has taken.

This is not a book for those who wish to hide out. This is a book for those who aren't afraid of a challenge. It is designed to help you get from who you are today to who you need to be in order to bring in the best possible partner for you in this lifetime. For those of you who picked up this book because you "just wanted to get married," consider the possibility of what it would be like to find not just a mate, but a soul mate, not just a partner, but a spiritual partner.

Years ago, I heard Jack Canfield, coeditor of the Chicken Soup books, tell a moving story of a woman who'd had a near-death experience. She had had an accident and was pronounced dead soon after. While dead, she saw the tunnel of light that we so often hear about. She followed the light and soon came upon an Angelic Being who was radiating an enormous amount of love. The Being told her that it was not yet her time to die. However, before she was sent back into her body, she was asked two questions. The first was: "What wisdom have you gained in this lifetime?" and the second was: "How have you expanded your capacity to love?"

My husband and I wrote our wedding vows. One of the things I said was, "What I bring to you today are certain promises. I will endeavor always to live by these promises, knowing that they are larger than me and will require a growing and a maturing beyond that which I now possess." For those of us who just won't settle, life is always a stretch.

If you want to be ready to bring in "The One," you must be willing to grow yourself beyond the person that you are today. Because the person you are now is the person who has created the experiences that you have already had. As they say in the twelve-step programs, "Our best thinking got us here." As such, your task is to grow yourself healthier and stronger in order to create a space for a remarkable love to enter your life. As long as we are acting out the wounds of our childhood and in reaction to the disappointments of our past, we will most likely remain frustrated and unfulfilled in our attempts to actualize love in our lives. However, once we have done the work to heal ourselves, it then becomes possible for us to bring the best of who we are to others. In return, we will draw in those who are willing and able to bring the best of who they are to us. At the very least, we will be able to distinguish early on those who can't or won't do this, knowing that, although this person might have "great potential," he or she is no one to open our hearts to.

In order to attract an extraordinary love and then preserve a relationship distinguished by respect and kindness, we must first face our fears and come to terms with our woundedness. We must cultivate our ability to fluidly express the characteristics of love in all of our encounters. For without choosing to grow ourselves in this way, we will most likely have difficulty sustaining the love that does come into our lives. I invite you, therefore, to consciously take on expanding your capacity to love and be loved as a goal that you can call your own.

It's important to realize that we do not need to be with a partner in order to begin expanding our ability to give and receive love. We simply need the willingness to start by opening ourselves to the opportunities of love that surround us today.

Présentation de l'éditeur

Are you frustrated by stymied relationships, missed connections, and the loneliness of the search for someone to spend the rest of your life with? Are you ready, instead, to find “The One”? In Calling in “The One, Katherine Woodward Thomas shares her own personal experience to show women that in order to find the relationship that will last a lifetime, you have to be truly open and ready to create a loving, committed, romantic union. Calling in “The One” shows you how.

Based on the Law of Attraction, which is the concept that we can only attract what we’re ready to receive, the provocative yet simple seven-week program in Calling in “The One” prepares you to bring forth the love you seek. For each of the 49 days of Thomas’s thoughtful and life-affirming plan, there is a daily lesson, a corresponding practice, and instruction for putting that lesson into action in your life. Meditation, visualization, and journaling exercises will gently lead you to recognize the obstacles on your path to love and provide ways to steer around them. At the end of those 49 days, you will be in the ideal emotional state to go out into the world and find “The One.”

An inspirational approach that offers a radical new philosophy on relationships, Calling in “The One” is your guide to finding the love you seek.

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Par Helene le 21 février 2015
Format: Format Kindle Achat vérifié
Than you so much for giving everyone such a treasure. This book is a real tool to change the way we manage our lives, relationships... I have embraced it and I can tell how priceless are the exercises, the consciousness of the way you can fail your path, the truth revealed...
I am really thankful for spending that time with your precious advices. I already recommended it to several relatives... There's one prerequisite is that you are willing to take action in your life !!!
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Je recommande ce livre aux personnes qui se sentent perdues dans ses relations (de couple, familiales ou amicales).
C'est une thérapie individuelle ou du groupe, avec des exercices et pratiques. La note générale de ce livre est l'amour dans le sens très large de ce terme.

Ce livre m'a été recommandé par une amie. Je lui en suis reconnaissante.
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Le livre était en mauvais état à la réception. Je l'ai revendu telle quel j'espère qu'il servira. .car l'auteur a divorcé
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Commentaires client les plus utiles sur Amazon.com (beta) (Peut contenir des commentaires issus du programme Early Reviewer Rewards)

Amazon.com: 4.5 étoiles sur 5 492 commentaires
55 internautes sur 57 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 I still can't get over that it worked... (from a skeptic) 25 août 2016
Par rah - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format: Broché Achat vérifié
People kept recommending "Calling in the One" to me and I kept rolling my eyes. It was way too woo-woo for my liking. But after being single for almost five years, I decided, "what the heck" especially since meeting someone felt more and more unlikely.

I followed the entire program--all the exercises, all the journaling, all the silly projects. I honestly believe part of the magic of this book comes from the ability to suspend your beliefs and skepticism and try things that you'd normally flat-out reject as too outlandish or stupid to try.

The beauty of this book is while it purports to be about bringing the right person to you, the author really has you calling in yourself. That work -- at least for me -- started to shift things in my life. It became clear that I was telling people I was fine on my own, while privately scanning my surroundings hoping to find a mate.

Long story short, I finished the program and, as per the last assignment, wrote a list of all the qualities I was looking for in a partner. Seven weeks earlier my list would have been very different, but because I had done so much work on myself, I could see that I was more open to a different kind of love. I put the list aside and went about my life.

The author spends a lot of time talking about how our words are a creative force. Once we say something out loud the universe shifts and bends to help make it happen. To me this was a cute nice idea, but kind of nutty. But several months later, I finally admitted to a friend that I was lonely, really truly lonely, and that I really wanted someone in my life. For me this was huge. I never let on that this was the case -- even if people suspected as much -- I always kept up the facade that I was perfectly fine on my own.

Wouldn't you know it, the next day I met my future husband. It's one of those things that is just too crazy to believe, and it took me a while to put two and two together. After dating for several months, I remembered the list I had made and pulled it out to see what it said. He met every single quality I wrote down, and and as the author reminded us, he looked nothing like I imagined.

So there you go. Two years later we're getting married, and I've never in a happier or healthier relationship. Most people I recommend this book to can't get past the silly exercises, but I think if you make it through with an open mind you'll be rewarded. I'm grateful for this book and grateful the author wrote it. Yes it's a big dose of woo-woo, but what's the harm in suspending your beliefs for seven weeks? I'm happy I did.
8 internautes sur 8 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 awesome read if you are into self exploration and healing and being open to meeting "the one" 18 décembre 2015
Par S. Owens - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format: Format Kindle Achat vérifié
Don't let the title fool you. My friends and i read this in our book club and it was awesome. Each chapter has an exercise to do at the end and was a really great way to go back to your childhood years until your recent years and heal anything that might be holding you back. My friends and i had a very emotional experience doing it together and learned so much about each other and it brought us even closer than we were before. we learned so much about each other and ourselves and really enjoyed reading the book in our book club. Ironically, 2 weeks before we finished reading the book, i went on a date with the man that i am now marrying in a couple months. it's true you have to work on you and be totally happy with yourself before you can be happy with someone else.
5 internautes sur 5 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 Met my husband soon after 9 mai 2017
Par Dream Acre Designs - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format: Broché Achat vérifié
(For what it's worth, I can be kind of skeptical of titles like this, but I think I saw the author on a talk show, and kind of thought, "Hell, I'll give it a try.") True story, at age 42, never married before, just many heartbreaks, I met my husband about two or three months after starting this book. I was in a small town over an hour from the nearest city, dated often, but sure hadn't found the right one. It might sound "woo-woo" to some of you, but this book really helped me shift my energy, and then I KNEW my guy was on his way to me. I felt a certainty I had never had before; it changed my entire outlook. I just wasn't worried anymore about how or when it would happen, because I KNEW it was going to. Sure enough, because of a fluke, my future husband came from a town three hours away for a short-term job, we met, and that was it. Later, I loaned the book to my brother-in-law, and he met his wife maybe a year later (and he lived in a VERY remote location). I don't know if he really worked through the exercises or not, but I did. I've now just bought the book again to give to a friend. I'd like to read it again as well--still married to my best friend of 7 years, but I think the book could help me shift energy in other aspects of my life.
11 internautes sur 12 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 "It is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all..." 24 novembre 2016
Par mindfulness - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format: Format Kindle Achat vérifié
Self-help books that help us nurse our wounds around failed relationships or failures to launch are readily available. Many help us reflect upon the perennial questions... Why?!, Why me??!, etc.

It's hard for me to fully embrace this author, especially because she ended her own long-awaited marriage in divorce and because she is somewhat at the helm of the uber annoying "conscious uncoupling" movement. I am also not so sure of the readers who claim they "found the one" in 7 weeks...and are about to get married! If marriage and the hard knocks of life teach us anything it is that the wedding and the dazzle of it all are only moments, and love is meant to be a lasting resource that actively nurture because it is just what we want to do, need to do, for our own fulfillment.

Perhaps that is why I love this book so much. Inasmuch as the author spends quite a bit of time outlining her own journey, she also weaves the path with quotes, anecdotes, and exercises that allow us to reflect on our own lives and our own stuckness around love. Each time I read and go through this book, it helps me shift my own "stuff" and let go of grudges (some I didn't even know I had), and gain more and more clarity about the gifts in my life, accept my circumstances, and keep striving for what I believe in. Above all, this book reminds me how much of a loving person I am. That I am better for having loved and continuing to love. The book reminds me that certain ties need to be undone in order to grow. It has a "Writing down the bones" or "Mystic Pizza" campy, hippy feel to it. I usually read it in bed, usually on rainy days with my journal and coffee near by.

As I trudge along in this self development journey called life, this book helps me realize that I have complex feelings around love and the idea of love. It makes me reevaluate my own expectations. Above all, I realize that the more I cultivate true self love (at the level of the soul), the better my relationships with those around me and with my own life are.

I think this is a good book to have and to incorporate as a tool for self-reflection from time to time. In all, the author draws widely and condenses the important lessons from many, many important books of this kind. Although I am not sure this book is all about finding love, it is clearly so much about finding the ability to love oneself and others. And ultimately, regardless of what did or did not happen in her personal life, I really value the work the author did to be vulnerable, share her truth, and bring this particular gift to the world.
9 internautes sur 9 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 If there was ever a book that delivered on its promise, this is IT! 6 août 2014
Par Franco - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format: Broché Achat vérifié
I don't know if there is anything left to say about this book, but I recommend this book at least 3 times a month. My boyfriend even jokes I should buy shares. I say it should be mandatory reading for all human beings, especially if you're trying to release feelings of fear, shame and guilt - and let's be honest, we all are.

Through 49 progressive lessons, Woodward Thomas helps us become aware of our limitations and gives us the appropriate tools to move beyond these. The work is at times effortless and at others painful, depending largely on our willingness to heal. She uses the art of journaling as her main tool, and urges us to be completely honest with ourselves every step of the way.

I was at the worst point in my life, in the middle of a major life-overhaul when I found this book at a bookstore (or maybe it found me). Five months after completing it I met my current boyfriend. We've been together for over a year now, and I can honestly say this is the healthiest relationship I have been in my life. All of my previous relationships lasted 8 months at their best. Through the process I was able to release myself from old fears and wounds and understand that I was "The One" all the time. This is not so much about finding someone else, but more about finding one's Self.
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