See below: an invaluable practical guide ... to Mad Mike and his fellow campus crackpots.
Breaking news! The UK Modern Languages community is bracing itself for Mad Mike’s latest magnum opus to hit the book stores
“Mad Marxist Mike”, PhD, F.I., MDS, is getting balmier with each day that passes as he finishes his latest masterpiece: “Modern Claptrap Studies: A Definitive Anthology”, to be published by the illustrious Skegnes Lefties Publishing Cooperative. This magnum opus will take stock of the field of MCS, in which Mike is a world-renowned expert, having spent a lifetime spewing out such garbage and passing it off as ‘research’.
Meanwhile, “Banner Anna”, veteran sister of the Swaythling Stalinistas, but still going strong as an eternal (if selective) justice warrior and campus crackpot queen, finally gets the recognition she deserves (see below).
More breaking news! Topping the festival bill: “Mad Mike and the Campus Crackpots”, with veteran star “Banner Anna” as support act – for a great summer!
Top rock n’ roll band “Mad Mike and the Campus Crackpots” announce their forthcoming nationwide tour with venues and dates.
To promote their latest mega hit album: “Dinosaurs After Brexit”. Playing many of their greatest hits: “I’m Mad Mike, and that’s what I like”, “In my Modern French Marxist dream”, “I got the Culture and Society blues”, “The Intellectuals in Society song”, “Secular Thought, that’s the rap I bought”, “Anna, oh Anna, I so love your banner”, “We are the leftists proud and strong”, “Katie, let’s make courtly love”, “Down at The Old Bill and Brook”, and many more.
Support act: Anna-Maria Callas, also singing her greatest hits, like “Killing all whites”, “I’m a victim, you’re a victim”, “Take that statue down, man”, “We are the Swaythling Stalinistas sisters” and “Farage, Farage, for my safe space you’re too large”, “I’m the Marxist of Hampshire”.
Tickets at all prices on sale now.
Yet more hot breaking news!!!!!
“Banner Anna”: famous anti-everything justice warrior (“You name it, I’m against it!”) and veteran campus fruitcake.
She already has a long list of prestigious credits:
• 2018 Momentum Activist of the Year Award
• Voltaire’s Anti-Semitic Writings Scholarship Award
• A Leftists Israel-bashing Commendation Award
• 2018 University Campus Loopy Fruitcake Award
• 2018 Momentum “Bash Israel and All Jews” Award
• An Uncle Joe Loyalty Award (1936–)
And now she has won a University Campus Crackpot Lifetime Achievement Award (CCLAA).
Veteran sister of the Swaythling Stalinistas (SS). Enlightenment expert, on Voltaire’s anti-Semitic writings especially. Career-long campaigner-protester-activist. Scourge of Nigel Farage. Current chair of the UK Atheists (Destroy All Religions) Society. Honorary President of the Oxbridge Leftists and Donkeys Society (OLDS). Co-chair of the Marxists Against Jews Society (MAJS). This award is also for sustained dedication to the cause of promoting the Israel boycott, Israel bashing and leftist anti-Semitism generally.
Our award-winning heroine, selective champion of victims everywhere and solidarity campaigner wins these wonderful prizes:
1) a free trip to the Marxist dictatorship of her choice
2) the complete works of Mao Tse Tung in the original Mandarin Chinese
3) a weekend for two in Pyongyang as guests of Kim Jong-un to attend an ICBM firing targeting the evil West and 4) dinner for two at a trendy Islington café with a senior Momentum activist.
Well done Anna! You really have done Uncle Joe and Campus Crackpots everywhere proud!
***************************************************
There was a Mad Marxist called ”Mike”
Who obsessed over Barthes and the like
When told: “You’re a dope!”
He replied: “Blame the Pope!
But I really should go see that psych!”
Rodney Ball is a linguistics expert and is also a former Hampshire county cricketer (opening batsman and spin bowler known for his unplayable googlies!). A man of many talents indeed. He has produced this great book. He has managed this despite UK Modern Languages having been dragged back to the Dinosaur Age by the likes of “Mike”, an icon of academic mediocrity suffering from advanced-stage Marxist Dinosaur Syndrome (MDS). A sad case of pc mediocrity pushing out genuine talent.
To read more about the real causes of the decline of UK ML, which has been largely self-inflicted, see the book review of “Languages after Brexit” at amazon.co.uk. Would we be facing Brexit today if the likes of “Mike” had actually done their job, instead of devoting entire careers to plotting to overthrow evil Western capitalism? Probably not.
A RECRUITMENT DISASTER
Appointing talent-free-zone History Man “Mike” to run an academic department was the last thing it needed, in already hard times. Decades of leftist-induced stagnation followed. How did such a nonentity, a man without an original thought in his head get to be “recognised for services to higher education… to promote the study of languages”? Answer: he ticked the campus pc boxes. UK ML sank to an all-time low on his watch. Far from being honoured, “Mad Mike” (as he is known on campus) should have been sectioned under the Mental Health Act.
THE KEY QUESTION
Members of the UK Modern Languages community: have you, like your counterparts in their respective disciplines, used your position to advance the cause of your subject, to benefit society at large? For it is in a perilous state. Or have you instead, like “Mike” and his ilk, used it as a platform for narcissistically pursuing some personal ideological obsession?
ACRONYMS
MDS: the last thing the sufferer of any illness should do is inflict it on others, let alone aspire to a position of responsibility. Yet “Mike”, a diagnosed case of MARXIST DINOSAUR SYNDROME, did precisely that.
ERAS: MDS is triggered by EXTREME REACTIONARY ATHEIST SYNDROME, producing spiritually vacant rationalists.
MCS: welcome to Mike’s research field, MODERN CLAPTRAP STUDIES.
OLS: OXBRIDGE LEFTIST SYNDROME, a common condition arising from the guilt of privilege.
PCCC: PC CAMPUS CRACKPOTS peddle their balmy ideologies.
CTCD: CAMPUS THOUGHT CONTROL DALEKS patrol senior common rooms exterminating dissidents.
IPW: IDENTITY POLITICS WARRIORS, all the rage.
GPW: GENDER POLITICS WARRIORS especially.
PPCS: PROFESSIONAL PROTESTOR/CAMPAIGNER SYNDROME is easily recognisable.
NAWG: NEW-AGE WEIRDO GENDERIST, a recent career option for gender politics obsesssionals
CAR: the placard-holding CAREER ANTI RACIST gets one line of coverage in the local rag.
LSD: LUVVIES, SMOOTHIES & DILLETANTES, self-indulgent darlings high on their respective narcissistic escapist fantasies.
LA: LEFTIST ANTISEMITISM, swallowing the delusional rantings of an ignorant, self-denying 19th Century German Jew to justify boycotting Israel.
MH: the MARXIST OF HAMPSHIRE syndrome, armchair supporters of bloody dictatorships safely residing in evil capitalist middle England.
SS: SWAYTHLING STALINISTAS, a Hampshire-based local group of die-hard, right-on sisters intent on undermining democracy itself, loyal to the memory of their beloved Uncle Joe, co-chaired by sisters-in-struggle “Connie Curtains” and “Banner Anna” (see below).
T&T: Toffs and Trots, in Britain historically the former generates the latter
MARXIST DINOSAUR SYNDROME (MDS)
MDS is a recognised cognitive disorder. Like the original land animals which once dominated the planet, the academic dinosaurs of our time defying extinction leave a trail of destruction behind them. Guilty of dereliction of duty, wilful neglect of their field. Instead of teaching and research, some spend entire careers indulging personal ideological obsession. Social Sciencing the Humanities. A mere glance at all that is achieved in other disciplines, for the benefit of society at large ... and these deluded, blinkered, talentless politicos should hang their heads in shame.
EXTREME REACTIONARY ATHEIST SYNDROME (ERAS)
ERAS triggers MDS. Advanced-stage cases see only oppressed groups, imperialism, class war, dialectics, racism, cultural hegemony, ruling groups, neo-colonial reality. Identity politics. Conspiracy theorists. Cultural appropriation. Safe space. No platform. Victimhood narratives. Statue removal. Not much Enlightenment here.
MODERN CLAPTRAP STUDIES (MCS)
But the likes of “Mike” do have their field of expertise: MCS. Indeed, he is a global expert. Subjective forays into half-baked subject areas. Cultural Studies. Secular Thought. Intellectuals in Society. History of Ideas. Euphemisms enabling talent-free mammals to plod about the land spewing out garbage. Devoid of the objectivity that characterises the genuine pursuit of knowledge. Research? Rhetoric. Topic selection, treatment, scope, focus, selection of material – none stand up to scrutiny. No peer review. No external evaluation. No validation. No rigour. The antithesis of standard evidence-based research. A discipline without discipline.
“MIKE”
Hardly a genius of our time, “Mike” swallowed '60s capitalist conspiracy theory whole. Preferring the secular religion of a blinkered utopian ideology. A classic case of MDS, this. PhD in Modern Claptrap Studies from the Polytechnic of Skegness, after getting a third in MCS. Stands out academically for utter mediocrity. A talent-free zone, is our Mike. Proudly so. On campus, variously affectionately dubbed by his peers: “Mad Mike”, “Mediocre Mike”, “Psychy Miky”, “Crackpot Kelly”, “Claptrap Kelly”, ”Sexless Mike”, “Feckless Mike”, “Up-the-IRA Kelly”, “Jihadi Qelli”, “Kill-an-infidel Kelly”, “Cannabis Kelly”, “Cocaine Kelly”, “Skunky Kelly”, “Psychadelic Mike”, “Kill-a-Capitalist Mike”, “Korea Kelly”. Poor old “Mike” couldn't run a proverbial whelk stand, let alone a department. One of the “lost children of the 60s”. The drugs, the drink, the sex, the utopianism, the so-called alternative lifestyles ... these combined to turn them into spaced-out freewheelers regurgitating a narrative of revolutionary claptrap. Mad Marxism dragging us back to a bygone age.
Mad Mike boasts a list of so-called publications as long as your arm; on closer inspection, drivel. “Mike” has published only claptrap, endlessly recycled in obscure journals: "European Journal of Intellectual Manure, “Leftist Claptrap Studies", "Dinosaurs' Journal of Marxist Dung", "Mad Marxist Studies", “Journal of Soviet Psychiatry”. Tons of it. Sorry reading indeed. Its hallmark: mediocrity. No originality. A long-time apologist for Uncle Joe, this diehard has finally succumbed to extinction. But not before dismembering a department. Abandoning a discipline. Dereliction of professional duty. Obsessed with capitalist conspiracy theory, his research output is pure manure worthy of use down on the farm. Supporter of armed republican struggle, freedom fighters, leftist antisemitism, the boycott, concentration camps for “dissidents”. The only chair really deserved in his case being the kind deployed by the US criminal justice system. He really ought to have sought NHS treatment for his disorder, rather than inflict the condition on others. This genius states his research focus as being: "Cultural history in the 20th century, especially the history of ideas and intellectuals". So long as it's modern, then. Because nothing happened civilisation-wise pre-20C! Only a blinkered Philistine could point to this as being his 'field'. Only a talentless ideologue sets such narrow sights. Yet he continues proudly parading his ignorance. A charlatan claiming to inhabit the world of learning.
A linguist? Offering just the one foreign language, is it? And gormless “Mike” is as poor a historian as linguist. In one of his many worthless publications (read by no one other than himself), he airbrushes the Jews out of modern French history. For this classic Leftist anti-Semite swallowing classic Leftist doctrine hook line and sinker, we simply do not exist. Why? Because Judaism invalidates the Marxist model. Philistinism which bone fide ML academics see through. Even in retirement, poor old “Mike” continues to inhabit his own inner world of psychopathic self-delusion. Just imagine his book collection at home. Back copies of “Marxist Monthly” everywhere. What a pitifully sad individual. Deluded to the bitter end. Blinkered to the last. The epitome of mediocrity.
Latest news: “Mike” picks up two more distinguished honours:
SWP Mad Lefty Psycho of 2017
Lifetime Achievement Award for services to Modern Claptrap Studies
Surely the 2018 Nobel Prize for Claptrap is now within reach.
POLITICALLY CORRECT CAMPUS CRACKPOTS (PCCC)
Spot the typical PCCC profile: compulsive petitioning, justice warrior, solidarity campaigns, cause seeker, protest, marches, demos, out to "change the world", anti this/anti that, letters to MP, direct action, no platform, boycott this/boycott that (Israel especially), the leftist antisemitism, sees injustice everywhere. And now the new campus orthodoxies: identity, gender, environmental, safe space, etc.
Certain members of the Swaythling Stalinistas sisterhood like Banner Anna are notable PCCCs.
MORE KEY QUESTIONS
1) What knowledge do such Marxist Dinosaurs actually possess? Answer: often very little. Little ongoing professional development. Ideologically fixed, narrow-minded, narrow life experience, little to draw on in work. Plus the (lack of) talent factor. Knowledge-poor.
2) What have they contributed to developing the discipline, to dynamising research fields – and, crucially, to society’s benefit? Very little.
3) How have certain Humanities fields come to be high-jacked, suffocated? All it takes is a few deluded, cause-obsessed, talentless leftists out to "change the world" shouting louder than the rest.
4) Why the low research output, a mere trickle of quality publications (shamed by other disciplines’ output)? Ideologues too busy politicking and in any case lacking talent.
5) Why the disastrously low take-up for courses? A discipline crushed by plodding dinosaurs, hardly an attractive proposition.
MARXIST DINOSAUR SOCIETY
Yet help is at hand! You should know that a “Marxist Dinosaur Society” now exists for dimwits like “Mike” to meet fellow sufferers and discuss theory over a vodka and borscht.
2018 activities include:
* Visit to Highgate Cemetery: overnight vigil at Karl Marx’s graveside (eating sushi with the Japanese tourists verboten)
* Talk by that icon of ‘60s claptrap Prof. “Mike” Welly: “Advanced Capitalist Conspiracy Theory Codswallop”, learning to hate the evil rich
* More from Mad Mike: “Why Everything is a Capitalist Conspiracy” for that famous French philosopher Roland (phew, who let one off?) Farthes
* Ceremonial hoisting of the Red Flag: ritual capitalist book-burning together with pagan chanting
* Marxist Cooking Wokshop: BBC TV celebrity chef Fred the Red makes eggs on toast and non-bourgeois anti-fascist dishes for the comrades
* Show trials and public executions of men, whites, white men, male whites, capitalists, political infidels throughout the year
* “Sing Along with Uncle Joe”: nostalgic evening of song with Stalinist anthems of struggle fondly recalled, featuring that ex-USSR living legend, queen of revolutionary chart-toppers, and veteran sister of the Swaythling Stalinistas, Anna-Maria Callas, singing her greatest hits and golden oldies including: “North Korea, my Promised Land”, “Emile, Emile, how does it feel?”, “Stalin oh Stalin, for ever my dalin”, “Nigel you distress me so”, “I met Bill by the brook”, “I saw Rodney at the ball”, “Katie, let’s make courtly love”, “Walter, you do make me wince”, “Enlighten me, dear Karl”, “Rousseau, how I love you so”, “Farage, Farage, get out of my garage”, “Mao, Mao, I miss you sao”, “Lefty snowflakes keep falling”, “Fond Gulag memories”, “I miss the purges”, “Give me a good show trial”, Anna-Maria being accompanied by that top ‘60s band of freaky Marxists “Mad Mike and the Crackpots”
* Talk (I) by macrobollockologist Dr Anna Mya-Strugglisaneverova (“Banner Anna”): Oxbridge Leftism: the Enlightened career option/religion
* Dr Anna Mya (II) reads from Voltaire’s choicest antisemitic texts, explains why Hitler was right and why the Israel boycott is justified
* Dr Anna Mya (III): Setting the agenda: eliminating whites, men, heterosexuals, capitalists, anti-Marxists, infidels, Israel-bashing
* Dr Connie Curtains (“Campaign Connie”) discusses her SWP Lifetime Achievement Award for devotion to whatever cause
* Dr Deborah Diderot (“Demo Debbie”) reveals the ingredients of a protester’s successful day out
* Dr Clara Castro (“Castrating Clara”) presents techniques for gender neutralisation coercion
* Dr Peter Coggy (“Dilettante Petey”) recounts a life spent pretending to be a character in a 19th Century French novel
* Dr Cecilia Imbecile (“Solidarity Cecilia”) talks about promoting solidarity with persecuted LGBT extraterrestrial aliens
* Dr Tony Becket (“Drama Boy Tony”) discusses a lifetime devotion to luvvies, lager, awful disco music, clubbing and counter-culture
* Bella Bumbridge (“Boycotting Bella”) discusses overthrowing Western civilisation, statue removal, safe space and no-platform
* “Honk for Uncle Joe”: Banner Anna and Campaign Connie, veteran sisters of the Swaythling Stalinistas (SS), lead this touching tribute
* Dr Quentin Earnest (“Earnest Ernie”) discusses “Oxbridge Leftism and earnestness in the 21st Century world”
* Special Summer Gala event: Visit to the Marxist utopia of North Korea; attend a special intercontinental missile firing targeting the evil West, plus workshop on bumping off regime opponents at airports
* Marxist Dinosaur coffee evenings: year-round, NHS psychiatrists on hand to prescribe the latest treatments for Mad Marxists like “Mike”
For Society membership details, email drconne@gmail.com
THE VERDICT
Damning. In the UK Modern Languages community, the dearth of talent, of outstanding individuals, for decades, now becomes clear. Mostly also-rans, the luvvies and dilettantes brigade plus delusional leftists such as “Mike” residing in Middle England, over-romanticising France’s revolutionary past. Genuine quality publications like Dr Ball’s put to shame the Marxist dinosaurs. They blame market forces for the decline in ML learning. But the reality is that the genuine talent has long since gone, aghast at such talent-free zones. Language policy experts? Nouvel Obs readers, little more. “No pre-20th Century please, we’re Marxist!” Zero contribution to learning, to society. High time indeed the whistle was blown on the Mad Marxists and Campus Crackpots, all too rampant in the Humanities and Social Sciences, dragging us back to the Dinosaur Age. Meanwhile, the real research, of benefit to society at large, is being done elsewhere in the other disciplines. Anywhere else but here, in fact. Far away from the dinosaurs.
Repliez vers l'arrière
Repliez vers l'avant
Suivre l'auteur
Une erreur est survenue. Veuillez renouveler votre requête plus tard.
Livres scolaires et parascolaires
Découvrez notre sélection de la maternelle jusqu'au lycée
Voir plus
Commentaires client
Meilleurs commentaires provenant d’autres pays
kinor
Mad Mike and Banner Anna continue to hit the headlines – your latest guide to two iconic campus crackpots
Commenté au Royaume-Uni le 18 juillet 2017Achat vérifié
Anthony Lauder
Impressed
Commenté au Royaume-Uni le 13 mars 2013Achat vérifié
Kara2011
Slightly expensive but very useful.
Commenté au Royaume-Uni le 26 octobre 2011Achat vérifié
Lance Eccles
not in Gide or Mauriac
Commenté aux États-Unis le 12 septembre 2008Achat vérifié
Helen Raskin
Satisfied customer
Commenté aux États-Unis le 9 février 2013Achat vérifié