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Complete Without Kids: An Insider's Guide to Childfree Living by Choice or by Chance (Anglais) Broché – 7 décembre 2010

5.0 étoiles sur 5 1 commentaire client

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Description du produit

Complete without Kids Examines the often-ignored question of what it means to be childfree, by choice or by circumstance, in a family-focused society. Offering support, guidance, and questions, this guide is for any reader considering the childfree path. Full description

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Format: Broché
Reluctantly, I confess that it is strictly my own decision and idea to be child-free (since the age of 8). I say reluctantly because my husband expressed his feeling that I would have made a good mother and that we would have had beautiful children together. However, his decision to spend the rest of his current lifetime with me is constant even with my choice to be child-free.Complete Without Kids: An Insider's Guide to Childfree Living by Choice or by Chance by Ellen L. Walker caught my attention because of my interest to seek out books that support a voluntary choice to be child-free. There are more than enough families who have more than four children per household (just in the United States of America alone) to make up for the number of men and women who voluntarily decide to stay child-free. I admit that I'm not sure how my biological mother and adoptive mother would have felt about my firm decision to stay childfree. This is only because both women died within 18 months of each other and before I married my current husband (who I met in 2002 and married in 2004). However, I would like to think that both my biological mother and adoptive mother would have been supportive about my certain decision to stay childfree (if they were still alive today). Additionally, most women that I see who truly enjoy being mothers are depression free, are prosperous enough to afford help in caring for their children and/or have parents around who would immediately drop what they were doing to help look after the children.

I am thankful for all of my family members and friends. Additionally, some of the celebrities and people that I admire in real life are parents. However, it is important to me that I collect information on others who bravely share their stories on being childfree.
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Amazon.com: 3.8 étoiles sur 5 47 commentaires
3 internautes sur 3 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 Love It, Highly Recommend 19 février 2016
Par twentysevencards - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format: Broché Achat vérifié
I bought this in pursuit of making sure I don't want children. If you're questioning whether or not you want kids, read this. If you decidedly don't want kids, read this. Apparently from some other reviews I've read, parents have read this and say they get better insights to why their friends don't want children.

I love the way she has you write about having children, pros and cons and so forth. All the while that you're writing it down, you naturally question yourself if this is something you can live without or not. By the time you finish her book, you'll definitely know whether or not you want to have children. This book was definitely a great read and a great workbook of sorts.
14 internautes sur 15 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
3.0 étoiles sur 5 Interesting but lacks focus 18 mars 2012
Par MissGnomer - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format: Broché Achat vérifié
Dr. Walker writes well and easily about a topic that is often more controversial than it should be. The chapters are short and easy to digest; I read the book in one day. Walker breaks childfree people into three categories: those who remain childfree without actively having made a decision to do so ("childfree by chance"); those who have decided against having children ("childfree by choice"); and those who have been unable to conceive, carry, or adopt ("childfree by circumstance"). The majority of the book is dedicated to the first two categories, with little being discussed about those who are unhappy with their childfree status.

Like many others who have read this book, I have been happily married for several years and am childfree. I expected a though-provoking exploration of the childfree life-style, social perceptions of childfree couples/women, etc, and perhaps something more grounded in clinical psychology and data. I was not necessarily disappointed, but the book seemed to fall short in several areas.

Early in the book, Walker writes: "One of my primary goals was to examine childfree living from a neutral position."
Walker starts out well enough, tying her own personal experiences in with those of several interviewees, and cites studies and statistics that support her opinions. However, about half-way through the book Walker's tone changes and she simply begins touting how much better life is without children. Instead of continuing her thread of unbiased exploration into factors that lead to the decision to remain childfree, societal pressures and expectations, or even healthful coping mechanisms for women who are dissatisfied with their childfree status, she begins to depend heavily on the opinions of those she has researched. Indeed, much of the book succumbs to speculation about what she or those she interviewed *think* it might be like to have a child. Initially, I didn't mind the new direction; however, since Walker began to compare the happiness/health/financial stability of childfree couples/singles, the book could have been much stronger had she done more research & interviews with parents. Instead, there are several paragraphs throughout that are based entirely on speculation. Writing of a Christmas Ski trip with her partner, Walker states: "I imagine that if we had children, the trip would've been focused on them, where they wanted to go, and what they wanted to do. It certainly would have lacked romance, and I would have felt exhausted from trying to make sure that everyone was happy." She then goes on for a full page about the ways she imagines the trip would've been spoiled by having children present. I just don't see this as valid data or even helpful in a book marketed toward those who have already made the decision not to have children. Further, I did not find any part of the book helpful for those who want to have children but can't.

Walker ends the book with a bit of a call to action. While I too believe that the decision to remain childfree is a personal one and should be as socially acceptable as having children seems to be, I just don't see childfree couples as some minority group in need of social or political recognition. Then too, Walker attempts to address the unfairness of our tax code several times (re: the unfairness of social programs and tax breaks for families with children) yet later one of the interviewees suggests that elderly childfree citizens will eventually become a burden of the state (since they will not have children who will care for them as they age). She briefly cites population growth and scarcity of resources as a reason to refrain from reproducing, but the topic is merely mentioned, not explored. In these sections of her book, Walker is cramming information and opinion but fails to properly address the issues. Topics are introduced and then forgotten.

As I stated, the book reads well and is at times a very interesting look into the minds of several people who have decided not to have children for various reasons. I wouldn't go so far as to recommend or not recommend the book, but I would say to take it with a grain of salt. It is more of an opinion piece than anything. This book seems geared toward giving people something to quote the next time they feel the need to defend their decision to be childfree; it is a justification of a decision, not an exploration or celebration of it. It may be helpful for younger people who are considering not having children. It would not be much help to those who find themselves childfree due to biological/health reason and are unhappy with their childfree status.
1 internautes sur 1 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
4.0 étoiles sur 5 Good insight on a new way of life 12 mars 2014
Par Giovic Blanco - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format: Broché Achat vérifié
Im a 23 year old male who feels complete without kids. I began to look for a book of this sort when I started to "feel like I need to have kids" I really dont know where it was coming from but I knew that I had no interest in having to bear such a load myself having witnessed the episode first hand in my own childhood. I came across this book which has been a great contribution to making peace with the decision of staying childfree for life. Now at first I was confused, afraid of taking this way because I had no idea so many people (not the mayority of course) is choosing to stay childfree, after taking a look at this book I went through a process of making the decision that best fits me.
The book is a good piece of research along with the imparcial narrative of the author, who exposes the topic from both her own and the interviewd's perspective.
Must read for young people thinking about the idea of bearing children or not.
2 internautes sur 2 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
2.0 étoiles sur 5 some good points, but felt repetitive 9 septembre 2014
Par Jessica Strattard - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format: Format Kindle Achat vérifié
This could have been shorter or needed more interviews. I felt like I was reading the same lines over and over. Yes, not having kids gives you more flexibility and more money - great, that's not a discovery. I would have liked more depth exploring the complexities why some remain "child free" besides the fact "child free" have more free time and more money to do what they want. For some, reasons may be deeper and I was hoping this book would explore those reasons.
7 internautes sur 8 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
3.0 étoiles sur 5 Book 23 mai 2011
Par Heyo! - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format: Format Kindle Achat vérifié
This book probably would have been easier to get through had there not been so many spelling errors. Aside from that, this book can really help you think objectively about the decision whether or not to have children if you're on the fence or if you don't want kids but feel guilty about it. I think a common theme in this book is the fact that through all these individual stories, they call themselves selfish, yet the author contradicts the statement that being childfree isn't about selfishness. Anyway, having kids is a personal decision and the desire to have them may or may not come from a health place. Such as having kids because it's what you're "supposed" to do or just wanting the attention versus being financially ready and have a strong marriage, etc. I really liked it, I could relate to many of the stories and oppinions expressed in the book. It's worth reading if you feel like having a family may not be for you.
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