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Getting to Commitment (Anglais) Relié – juillet 2001

4.0 étoiles sur 5 2 commentaires client

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--Ce texte fait référence à l'édition Broché.
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Getting to Commitment offers understanding, inspiration, and a concrete plan of action for any woman, man, or couple who is ready to tackle the eight most destructive demons that make people run from loving relationships. --Ce texte fait référence à l'édition Broché .

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Format: Format Kindle Achat vérifié
in-depth analysis of the fears, doubts, and various self-inflicted impediments to commitment.

A plus: it is surprisingly worthwhile for those who seem to run repeatedly into commitment-phobes (spoiler: this means you are a somewhat of a commitment-phobe yourself!)
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Format: Format Kindle Achat vérifié
Through his examples the author shows his point on how the lack of commitment may prevent a relationship from growing and thriving.
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Commentaires client les plus utiles sur (beta) (Peut contenir des commentaires issus du programme Early Reviewer Rewards) 4.7 étoiles sur 5 70 commentaires
7 internautes sur 7 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 SO Refreshing and useful 15 décembre 2013
Par Zoe - Publié sur
Format: Format Kindle Achat vérifié
I have in my adult life been firmly on both sides of the commitment phobe equation. Both shutting down and falling inexplicably out of love, and being hopelessly in love with someone who isn't totally present and committed. Most of the books in this overcrowded genre focus on one side or the other, often painting the phobic one as the bad or broken one.This was the first book I read that acknowledged that a person can be both and that each is a manifestation of the same thing. It deals with the issue of commitment phobia with an even and unbiased hand, and covers the topic thoroughly while still managing to be succinct and easy to read. I saw not only myself, but of course all of my exes, as well as nearly all of my friends - even the ones in relationships. Other reviewers have noted that it doesn't really give much in the way of what to do next now that the problem is identified - aside from seeking therapy - but it does acknowledge that change is a long hard step by step process. To go into HOW to change is of course many more volumes and its not what this book set out to do. There is NO quick fix but I'd say that the awareness of the issue that this book creates in the reader is half the battle. Summary - "Hey you - here's some things you're doing that I bet you didn't know you were doing. Here's how you're getting in your own way. Now, I invite you to be aware of these things as you do them in your day to day life, question them and start observing how you sabotage yourself."
My favorite aspect of this book is that it defines the concept of Commitment as what it truly and realistically is: The day to day act of being present with your partner, aware and accountable for your side of the street. Why so many people are stupid enough to believe that commitment is a proclamation or a ring is beyond me. There is no pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Life and relationships are a day to day proposition and this book clearly spells out how people are largely responsible for most of the pain they encounter in relationships in various modes of self sabotage. Will be reading it again.
4 internautes sur 4 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 THE BEST!!!!! If I could give this book 10 stars, I absolutely would. 28 mai 2014
Par Annie T - Publié sur
Format: Relié Achat vérifié
I don't read a ton of "relationship" books, but I have read a few. This is my go-to. It is the absolute BEST book out there - SO beyond what anyone else has offered (Dr Phil, etc. - and I've read 2 of his books and have read some other authors that have been easy reads and somewhat interesting as well, but not as useful as "Getting To Commitment").

THIS book.... this is so well written. And the author uses many, many examples of couples dealing with different issues. He also speaks to his own past issues and what he's mindful of that he needs to continue working on as well, although he has come a long way and from what I can tell, he "gets it" and now he and his wife truly have what he has worked toward getting. He's there. And he's amazing at helping others achieve the same healthy relationship(s).

He is incredibly insightful and pragmatic. Provides so much CLARITY as well. And I really like the "real life examples" of the couples he presents. I just can't recommend this book enough. If I could choose just ONE "relationship" book, this is it. It's THAT good. It's THAT helpful. He's so "real".

And the book touches on every possible aspect (in my opinion) of things/behaviors that could possibly interfere with achieving true, genuine commitment and intimacy.

You could read bits and pieces of it with your spouse or partner and probably both get some real benefit from it and actually enjoy the process. It's thought-provoking. Not kidding. He really brings up some useful points and examples.

It's a MUST read if you are struggling at all with choosing partners who hesitate (or refuse) to commit, or if you yourself have troubles with commitment and/or intimacy, this is the book. Look no further.
2 internautes sur 2 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
2.0 étoiles sur 5 Lots of words to tell you what you already know. 21 avril 2016
Par JMellor13 - Publié sur
Format: Format Kindle Achat vérifié
This book is 250 pages. It should be about 20. The author belabors his points by repeating the same thing in ten different phrasings, and even the different "points" are mostly the same point. He offers anecdote after anecdote about people who struggle with commitment...but not a single, practical solution. The value in this book would be that it can help one recognize his or her commitment issues...but I imagine anyone (like me) who devotes the time and money to read this book is already aware that there is an issue. I read this book because I know I have commitment issues. I didn't need 250 pages of anecdotes, relatable as they may be, to help me "realize" the realization that led me to this book in the first place. If someone genuinely believes he has no issues with commitment, why would he read this book? It makes no sense.

I suppose the value of this book is catharsis. People who have been wronged by commitmentphobes can read the stories of others who have been through the same thing, and then get the assurance that it's not their fault from self-styled experts. So the book is not really for people struggling with commitment. The book is for people who want solace after being burned by people struggling with commitment.

The authors are not doctors or psychologists. They are simply writers who have talked to a lot of people. I give them credit for being very upfront about this, and for repeatedly recommending professional counseling. That is admirable. But really, if you've confronted your issues to the extent that you are willing to buy and read a 250-page book, you know you need help. This book will not provide it. So skip the read and go right to counseling.
3 internautes sur 3 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 a masterpiece 17 août 2015
Par Common reader - Publié sur
Format: Format Kindle Achat vérifié
I read thr author's other book "he's scared, she's scared", and it struck a deep chord for sure and opened my eyes a lot. But this book is THE book!!! I don't know where to start, because i would quote almost every single page. So i tell you: if you suffer from commitmentphobia, codependency and other relational issues, READ THIS BOOK cover to cover without skipping a single. I don't know if it will save your life, but it may well save your soul... Nothing less!
5.0 étoiles sur 5 Great book on the topic 30 novembre 2016
Par South Temple - Publié sur
Format: Broché Achat vérifié
Well, I have finally admitted that I struggle with some of these fear of intimacy issues. Really, as a friend said to me - "who doesn't?"

You can be married for 30 years, married 7 times or never married at all, and still have tremendous distancing issues. Pushing people away, but then also drawing them close; pursuer and distancer behaviors, being a workaholic, too "busy" with church/children/work, whatever to sit down and visit with people who really want to get to know you. Wow, this is me and quite a few people I know. Maybe we all struggle with aspects of this. Anyway, this book is very well written and I am just now seeing the subtlety of these behaviors. I am ready to change them and so I find the writing in this book extremely helpful.

I actually read this book about 10 years ago and I didn't find it very helpful at the time. Lol!! ok, so we learn things when we are ready. Patience grasshopper !
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