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Descriptions du produit

Extrait

7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens

Get in the Habit


THEY MAKE YOU OR BREAK YOU

Welcome! My name is Sean and I wrote this book. I don’t know how you got it. Maybe your mom gave it to you to shape you up. Or maybe you bought it with your own money because the title caught your eye. Regardless of how it landed in your hands, I’m really glad it did. Now you just need to read it.

We first make our habits, then our habits make us.

ENGLISH POET

A lot of teens read books, but I wasn’t one of them. (I did read several book summaries, however.) So if you’re like I was, you may be ready to shelve this book. But before you do that, hear me out. If you promise to read on, I’ll promise to make it an adventure. In fact, to keep it fun, I’ve stuffed it with cartoons, clever ideas, great quotes, and powerful stories about real teens from all over the world . . . along with a few other surprises. So, with that in mind: will you give it a try?

Okay? Okay!

Let’s dive in, then. This book is based on another book that my dad, Stephen R. Covey, wrote several years ago entitled The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Surprisingly, that book has become one of the best-selling books of all time. He owes a lot of the credit for its success to me and my brothers and sisters, however. You see, we were his guinea pigs. He tried out all of his psycho experiments on us, and that’s why my brothers and sisters have major emotional problems (just kidding, siblings). Luckily, I escaped uninjured.

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So why did I write this book? I wrote it because life for teens is no playground. It’s a jungle out there. And if I’ve done my job right, this book can be like a compass to help you navigate through it. Unlike my dad’s book, which was written for old people (and can get really boring at times), this book was written especially for teens and is always interesting.

Although I’m a retired teenager, I still remember what it was like to be one. I could’ve sworn I was riding an emotional roller coaster most of the time. Looking back, I’m actually amazed that I survived. Barely. I’ll never forget the time in seventh grade when I fell in love with a girl named Nicole. I told my friend Clar to tell her that I liked her (I was too scared to speak directly to girls so I used messengers). Clar completed his mission and returned and reported.

“Hey, Sean, I told Nicole that you liked her.”

“What’d she say!?” I asked impatiently.

“She said, ‘Ohh, Sean? He’s fat!’ ” Clar laughed.

I was devastated. I felt like hiding in my room and never coming out again. I vowed to hate girls for life. Luckily my hormones prevailed and I began liking girls again.

I’ve interviewed a lot of teens in the making of this book. I suspect that some of the struggles they shared with me will be familiar to you too:

“There’s too much to do and not enough time. I’ve got school, homework, job, friends, parties, and family on top of everything else. I’m totally stressed out. Help!”

“How can I feel good about myself when I don’t match up? Everywhere I look I am reminded that someone else is smarter, or prettier, or more popular. I can’t help but think, ‘If I only had her hair, her clothes, her personality, her boyfriend, then I’d be happy.’ ”

“If I could only get my parents off my back I might be able to live my life. It seems they’re constantly nagging, and I can’t ever seem to satisfy them.”

“I know I’m not living the way I should. I’m into everything—drugs, drinking, sex, you name it. But when I’m with my friends, I give in and just do what everyone else is doing.”

“I’ve started another diet. I think it’s my fifth one this year. I really do want to change, but I just don’t have the discipline to stick with it. Each time I start a new diet I have hope. But it’s usually only a short time before I blow it. And then I feel awful.”

“I’m not doing too well in school right now. If I don’t get my grades up I’ll never get into college.”

“I’m moody and get depressed often and I don’t know what to do about it.”

“I feel as if my life is out of control.”

These problems are real, and you can’t turn off real life. I won’t pretend you can. Instead, I’ll give you a set of tools to help you deal with real life. What are they? The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens or, said another way, the seven characteristics that happy and successful teens all over the world have in common.

By now, you’re probably wondering what these habits are so I might as well end the suspense. Here they are, followed by a brief explanation:

Habit 1:

Be Proactive

Take responsibility for your life.

Habit 2:

Begin with the End in Mind

Define your mission and goals in life.

Habit 3:

Put First Things First

Prioritize, and do the most important things first.

Habit 4:

Think Win-Win

Have an everyone-can-win attitude.

Habit 5:

Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood

Listen to people sincerely.

Habit 6:

Synergize

Work together to achieve more.

Habit 7:

Sharpen the Saw

Renew yourself regularly.

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As the above diagram shows, the habits build upon one another. Habits 1, 2, and 3 deal with self-mastery. We call it the “private victory.” Habits 4, 5, and 6 deal with relationships and teamwork. We call it the “public victory.” You’ve got to get your personal act together before you can be a good team player. That’s why the private victory comes before the public victory. The last habit, Habit 7, is the habit of renewal. It feeds all of the other six habits.

The habits seem pretty simple, don’t they? But just wait till you see how powerful they can be! One great way to understand what the 7 Habits are is to understand what they are not. So here are the opposites, or:

The 7 Habits of Highly Defective Teens

Habit 1: React

Blame all of your problems on your parents, your stupid teachers, your lousy neighborhood, your boy- or girlfriend, the government, or something or somebody else. Be a victim. Take no responsibility for your life. If you’re hungry, eat. If you’re bored, make trouble. If someone yells at you, yell back. If you feel like doing something you know is wrong, go for it.

Habit 2: Begin with No End in Mind

Don’t have a plan. Avoid goals at all costs. And never think about tomorrow. Why worry about the consequences of your actions? Live for the moment. Sleep around, get wasted, and party on, for tomorrow you die.

Habit 3: Put First Things Last

Whatever is most important in your life, don’t do it until you have spent sufficient time watching videos of cute animals on YouTube, texting endlessly, and lounging around. Always put off studying until tomorrow. Make sure that fun things come before important things.

Habit 4: Think Win-Lose

See life as a vicious competition. If you want to be at the top of the popularity list, you’d better knock someone else off first. Don’t let anyone else succeed at anything because, remember, if they win, you lose. If it looks like you’re going to lose, however, make sure you drag that sucker down with you.

Habit 5: Seek First to Talk, Then Pretend to Listen

You were born with a mouth, so use it. Talk a lot. Always express your side of the story first. Once everyone understands your views, pretend to listen to theirs by nodding and saying “uh-huh” while daydreaming about what’s for lunch. Or, if you really want their opinion, give it to them.

Habit 6: Don’t Cooperate

Let’s face it, other people are weird because they’re different from you. So why try to get along with them? Teamwork’s for the dogs. Since you always have the best ideas, you’re better off doing everything by yourself. Be your own island.

Habit 7: Wear Yourself Out

Be so busy with life that you never take time to renew or improve yourself. Never study. Don’t learn anything new. Avoid exercise like the plague. And, for heaven’s sake, stay away from good books, nature, or anything else that may inspire you.

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As you can see, the habits listed above are recipes for disaster. Yet many of us indulge in them . . . regularly (me included). And, given this, it’s no wonder that life can really stink at times.

• WHAT EXACTLY ARE HABITS?


Habits are things we do repeatedly. But most of the time we’re hardly aware that we even have them. They’re on autopilot.

Some habits are good, such as:

• Exercising regularly

• Planning ahead

• Showing respect for others

Some are bad, including:

• Thinking negatively

• Feeling inferior

• Blaming others

And some don’t really matter, like:

• Taking showers before bed instead of in the morning

• Putting hot sauce on every meal

• Listening to music while you exercise

Depending on what they are, our habits will either make us or break us. We become what we repeatedly do. As writer Samuel Smiles put it:

Sow a thought, and you reap an act;

Sow an act, and you reap a habit;

Sow a habit, and you reap a character;

Sow a character, and you reap a destiny.

Luckily, you are stronger than your habits. You can change them. For example, try folding your arms. Now fold them in the opposite way. Feels pretty strange, right? But if you folded them in the opposite way for thirty days in a row, it wouldn’t feel so strange. You wouldn’t even have to think about it. You’d get in the habit.

At any time you can look yourself in the mirror and say, “Hey, I don’t like that about myself,” and you can exchange a bad habit for a better one. It may not always be easy, but it’s always possible.

Maybe not every idea in this book will work for you. But you don’t have to be perfect to see results, either. Just living some of the habits some of the time can help you experience changes in your life you never thought possible.

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The 7 Habits can help you:

• Get control of your life

• Improve your relationships with your friends

• Make smarter decisions

• Get along with your parents

• Overcome addictions and self-destructive habits

• Define your values and what matters most to you

• Get more done in less time

• Increase your self-confidence

• Be happy

• Find balance between school, work, friends, dating, and everything else

One final point. It’s your book, so use it. Get out a pen or highlighter and mark it up. Don’t be afraid to underline, circle, or bookmark your favorite ideas. Take notes in the margins. Scribble. Reread the stories that inspire you and memorize the quotes that give you hope. Try doing the “baby steps” at the end of each chapter, which were designed to help you start living the habits immediately. You’ll get a lot more out of the book if you do.

You may also want to check out the hotlines and websites listed at the back of the book for additional help or information.

If you’re the kind of reader who likes to skip around looking for cartoons and tidbits, that’s fine. But at some point you ought to read the book from start to finish, because the 7 Habits are sequential. Each chapter builds on the last. Habit 1 comes before Habit 2 (and so on) for a reason.

So what do you say? Make my day and read this book!

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COMING ATTRACTIONS

Up next, we’ll take a look at ten of the dumbest statements ever made. You don’t want to miss them. So read on! --Ce texte fait référence à l'édition CD .

Revue de presse

"A true gift for the teenage soul."

-- Jack Canfield and Kimberly Kirberger, coauthors of Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul --Ce texte fait référence à l'édition CD .

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Commentaires en ligne

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Commentaires client les plus utiles sur Amazon.com (beta)

Amazon.com: 4.2 étoiles sur 5 809 commentaires
156 internautes sur 161 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 Saved me from a Bad path 24 mars 2008
Par Brittney M. Warren - Publié sur Amazon.com
I come from a horrible background, my family has no moral structure, they're either on drugs or selling drugs.

My freshmen year of high school was really hard for me, my moms drug use escalated and I felt trapped. I was about to give up and go towards the bad stuff my family did/does. I just wanted to be accepted, I was too weird for the normal kids, but not hardcore enough the kids that let me hang with them.

I had no support, and I felt like I couldn't reach out, after a suicide attempt, I was put into a leadership class and the Curriculum was the Seven habits of highly effective teens

This book helped me:
Over come my family (I moved out when I was 16)
Get better grades (I went from a 1.6-3.8 in one year and graduated with a 2.5)
It helped strengthen my moral goals (and give me some also)
and It helped me take care of myself

I am now 19 a freshmen in college and working towards becoming an abnormal Child Psychologist.

A few good teachers and this book saved me from a life of crime and drugs.

I feel like there are a lot kids out there that need this book, and a few good teachers.

P.s. I still have my copy from my freshmen year, all beat up and highlighted and I re-read it every so often to remind myself of all the awesome stuff in there.
215 internautes sur 225 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 Teen Angst ? 13 mars 2000
Par Waidz - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format: Broché
At the ripe age of 23, I borrowed my 18 year old brother's copy of this book and was enthralled.I cant help but wonder what a difference this book would have made in my life if I had read it at age 14 and not ten years later. The layout of the book is fun and appeals to readers of any age. This makes it easier to read. One thing I have to say, is that this book is one of the most powerful positive thinking books on the market. Although it's aimed at teens, the values and tips can apply to anyone. I loved the little excercises which are still applicable. Sean's frankness on matters really inspired me. My favourite part of the book though is the real life stories he relates on how teenagers have overcome difficulties and still succeed in the end. A great read, highly recommended !
166 internautes sur 177 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
4.0 étoiles sur 5 Love it or hate it... the choice is yours 16 octobre 2005
Par shewolfrh - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format: Broché
After reading through the reviews on this website and others on different websites I've come to this conclusion- either people think that it was (1)a fantastic book which distilled sound advice and changed their lives for the better [5 stars] or, (2)a bunch of cliched, useless material exhorting teens to be mama's boy/ teacher's pet/ goody-two-shoes/ (name your case)[1 star]. If there are people out there who haven't read the book and are getting confused by all the conflicting, contradictory messages up on the web, I honestly don't blame them. Who wouldn't be?

I've read the book and all I can say is that the book does not deliver miracles from heaven that can brilliantly transform your life and make it oh-so-fabulous. It didn't promise that either, by the way.

What it does is to offer tried-and-tested, reliable advice, the kind that your mother or teacher would have given you. Call it rehashed common sense, but the cartoons and quotes make it easier to digest and not-so-painful to internalise. Yes it's naggy, yes it's authoritarian, yes it's condescending at some parts... I don't doubt that. The thing is that in the end, it's still well-intentioned, useful advice. It's perfectly okay to just pick out one chapter, or one quote etc. that means something to you and ditch the rest. Really. Or if you really think that none of it can help you in your life, then take it as a few hours of harmless entertainment, forget about the book and get on with your life. Case closed.

As for those who haven't read the book yet, give it a chance. You might just be able to pick up one or two things here and there which, when put into practice, may just make your life that little bit more sane and less messed-up. Best of luck to you.
186 internautes sur 203 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
3.0 étoiles sur 5 7 Habits of Highly Effective Pre-Teens 9 janvier 2006
Par S. Sun - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format: Broché
I read this book in 7th grade at the age of 12, and I loved it. I thought it was very well-written and witty.

Now, as a 19 year old, I recently finished rereading this book just because I found it as I was cleaning out my bookshelf, and I have to say...it's not bad, but it's not that good. I think, perhaps, as the author was aiming for a lower age bracket, he accidentally aimed a little too low.

Here's my breakdown:

Pros:

- Book is much shorter than the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People yet still conveys the same ideas.

- The writing style is pretty straightforward.

- It offers a lot of examples from teens and a lot of illustrations.

Cons:

- Book becomes more and more condescending as it goes on.

- At some points, there are just too many examples, and many are rather impersonal--they don't offer the kind of detail that would make a reader actually care. Some of the examples even contradict the Habits.

- A lot of the illustrations are kind of lame (I remember thinking this back at the age of 12, as well). The charts are fine, but most of the cartoons on the side just aren't funny.

- The information in the book is all very intuitive.

I think I will read the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People to see how I feel about it. As for the 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens, I have to say...

1) Do not force a teen to read a self-help book. I've seen that in most of the negative comments, people were forced to read this book for a class in school. I think doing so even goes against the Habits. If you genuinely care about someone's problems, maybe read through the Habits yourself and practice them. Then, you might be able to get your little friend to play along. This book is not that inspiring, and anyone who is forced to read it will easily find a thousand things ridiculous about it.

2) Although the book's subject matter is intuitive, I agree that it is nice to be reminded of the right way to live your life and how to reach an "effective" life.

3) However...because of the book's pseudo-spunky and somewhat condescending style, I see it gaining more acceptance among people right on the brink of teenagedom than actual teens. Pre-teens will probably get more of a kick out of reading a book for teens, and they may not notice the condescending writing since society has yet to tell them that they deserve to be treated as adults. There are points where Covey talks about eating disorders and suicide, but, as far as I can remember, middle schoolers have already been well introduced to these topics.

Conclusion:

This is not a good book for the people it was meant to help, but it would be a very good book for a slightly younger age group. That way, you have a better chance of getting through to them before the pressures start to pile on.
49 internautes sur 51 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
3.0 étoiles sur 5 I will be thinking hard about sharing this book with my teens. 8 juin 2010
Par Biblio - Publié sur Amazon.com
Format: Broché
I wanted to like this book and I actually feel bad about rating it so low considering there is a LOT of great information in it but the truth was that I was disappointed with this book and will think seriously about whether or not I will ever give it to my children to read. It simply had too many negatives dragging it down in my opinion.

I also read Do Hard Things: A Teenage Rebellion Against Low Expectations and recommend that book over this one if you want to encourage your youth to set goals and work hard towards achieving them. (It does have a Christian message but if you are not opposed to that then it can be very encouraging and motivational.)

I think the problem with this book is Sean Covey did not have a clear enough target audience in mind. At times he seems to be speaking to highschool students and at other times to college age students. Sometimes he seems to be speaking to kids who are struggling with things like broken homes and drug use and other times to an average middle-class teen who just needs a prod in the right direction.

Things I did not like in this book are...

1. THE STATED AND UN-STATED FOCUS ON THE OUTER APPEARANCE:

p134 "..I had a hot date that Saturday afternoon."
p101 "At the end of the year, weighing 180 pounds and bench-pressing 255 pounds, I was awarded 'Best Body' by the senior girls of the high school, the award that I loved most of all."
p169 "Jessica is much better looking than Katherine".
p118 "In high school I had a crush on a beautiful girl named Sherry...."

2. THE BAD ATTITUDES SOMETIMES DISPLAYED TOWARDS PARENTS:

p23 "Finally I struck out on my own and had a falling out with my folks, but it made them see me for who I was."
p170 "This is the when-I-was-your-age speech you often get from your elders"
p220 "My family is composed of a bunch of technical incompetents. I blame the bad gene on my dad. Several times I've seen him in technically challenging situations like when....he attempts to change a light bulb."

3. I DON'T AGREE WITH THE ADVICE ON:

A) Dating lots of people...
p20 "Have as many boyfriends and girlfriends as you like just don't get obsessed with or centered on them..."

B) or his marriage advice that could influence youth to not forge a committed and close relationship with their future spouse...
p20 "When I began dating my wife, one of the things that attracted me most was that she didn't center her life on me."

C) nor his advice encouraging youth to simply listen and never offer possible solutions to friends in need...
p165 "A handful of loyal friends really stuck it out with me and tried to help, but I tuned out their preachy lectures about my weight..."
p166 "They didn't treat me like a person with a problem. There were no lectures..."
p166 "Contrast that with what might have happened had her roommates turned preachy on her."
p167 "You can show you care by simply taking time to listen without judging and without giving advice".

4) THERE WERE LOTS OF WRONG-SIDE-OF-THE-TRACKS STORIES:

Stories of sexual abuse p58, p59; Drug use p77, P214; Parent smoking marijuana with her 12 year old daughter p61; Abusive relationships p158; Bulemia p158; Anorexia 165; Alcoholic and abusive parents p227; References to sexual activity p78 p229; Suicide p232; pornography p240

p238 An experience shared by a teen..."I used to argue with my ex-boyfriend about watching BET and MTV, because the majority of the videos consisted of not-even-half-naked girls wiggling and jiggling like a bowl of Jell-O...it hurt me to see my ex-boyfriend in a daze with his eyes moving up and down..."

In all fairness, when looking at the broad picture, Sean Covey is encouraging teens to be responsible, value education and work on their family relationships. Most of the unsavoury stories are being used to illustrate not-what-to-do.

However I couldn't help but feel that in some instances, the stories and attitudes could plant thoughts into our teens minds or reinforce ideas such as 'Boys only like the beautiful girl' or 'Parents are difficult to get along with'.

The reason I prefer Do Hard Things: A Teenage Rebellion Against Low Expectations is because it encourages youth to do better without adding all these issues in.

On the other hand, if your teen is struggling with drug use etc - and you can even get him/her to read this book - then this book may actually be beneficial in helping them see the light.

I think that in general, if a teen is motivated enough to read a self-help book like this then they may as well read Sean Covey's father's books such as The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People and leave all the teenage baggage well and truly behind.
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