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The Happiest Toddler on the Block: How to Eliminate Tantrums and Raise a Patient, Respectful and Cooperative One- to Four-Year-Old: Revised Edition par [Karp Md, Harvey]
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The Happiest Toddler on the Block: How to Eliminate Tantrums and Raise a Patient, Respectful and Cooperative One- to Four-Year-Old: Revised Edition Format Kindle

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Longueur : 336 pages Word Wise: Activé Langue : Anglais

Descriptions du produit


Chapter One

"Help! There's a Neanderthal in My Kitchen!"

"A first step is like watching the history of human civilization from small fishy things to Neanderthals unravel in one instant before your eyes."

-Anna Quindlen and Nick Kelsh, Naked BabiesMain Points:

All parents find toddlerhood challenging.

Parenting tips that work with older children often fail miserably with toddlers.

As your toddler grows, you are watching five million years of humanity unfold before your very eyes.

Toddlers pass through four stages of development that echo the evolution of our ancient ancestors.

Prehistoric Parenting: How to become the perfect ambassador to your little Stone Ager.

In the Beginning . . .

Tara, 14 months old, is proud of her newfound ability to walk. She tries to practice it every chance she gets. But right now she's confined to an exam room with me and her mom, Simone. Tara toddles over to the door. "Unghh!" She grunts reaching for the door-knob. "Unghh! Unghh!" She pushes against the closed door. Now she turns a pleading eye to me and starts slapping the door. She wants out!

Simone responds, "No, sweetheart. I know you want to leave, but we have to stay here a little longer. Let's look at this pretty book."

Tara's mom has lovingly acknowledged her daughter's feelings (a common parenting tip) and tried a favorite distraction (another good idea). This time, however, her efforts are rewarded with a crumpled red face, an open mouth . . . and . . . a long shrill scream that could shatter glass!

Taken aback by the tantrum's ferocity, her mom tries to engage her by heartily singing "The Itsy Bitsy Spider." Tara screams louder. So Simone decides to set a limit. "Tara! No screaming! Shhh. Stop or we'll have to leave, okay?" But by now Tara is in a full-scale meltdown. Embarrassed-and annoyed-Simone offers me an apology and hoists her little volcano over her shoulder; avoiding the stares of the other parents in the waiting room, she hurries to the exit.

Have you experienced your toddler's first temper tantrum yet?

Has your child discovered the word "No!"?

Do you get ambushed by fights that rise out of nowhere?

Are you mentally exhausted from shouting "Don't pull that!" and "Stop, now!"?

Parenting a toddler is filled with thrills and simple joys, but for most of us, it's also filled with the most difficult challenges we will encounter until the teen years. (No wonder it's often called "the first adolescence.")

Loving parents just like you have been scratching their heads for generations, wondering (and asking their pediatricians): What makes toddlers act the way they do? Why are they so unreasonable and tough to discipline?

I'm going to answer those questions for you. Better yet, I'll show you the way to a calmer toddler and a less-stressed household. But first it helps to see . . . the big picture.

Ah-ha! A New View of Toddlers

"A mind once stretched to a new idea never returns to its original size."

-Oliver Wendell Holmes

Until recently people mistakenly thought that babies cried because of terrible stomach pain. Then my book The Happiest Baby on the Block came along and revealed that newborns really cry because they need help turning on their "calming reflex." (Ah-ha!)

With toddlers, the "ah-ha" realization that perfectly explains their perplexing behavior is that these sweet kids, the apples of our eyes, are actually little Neanderthals!

Okay, okay. I've had more than one parent look at me strangely when I've said that. Please don't take the comparison as an insult. Allow me to explain how this new way of thinking will become your magic window for understanding what goes on in your toddler's mind-and help you turn conflict into cooperation in minutes-or less!

"The Little Adult Assumption": A Common Mistake

Recently John, a dad in my practice, said to me jokingly, "My toddler is a completely different animal than she was as a baby!" John was more on target than he knew!

Parenting a newborn involves overcoming some initial potholes (like colic and lack of sleep). But after a few months, life proceeds in a sunny way as your baby grows ever cuter and more fun. Then with her first lurching steps toddlerhood is off and running (and so are you)! Within months or even days, your waddling wonder will start developing a new sense of power and defiance. And suddenly you may feel the need to learn how to discipline your little one without squashing her spirit-or losing your mind.

Toddlers make the job of parenting a notch more complicated. During your baby's first year you happily gave her whatever she wanted (milk, a pacifier, a fresh diaper, a change of scenery). Now, however, you can only give her 90 to 95 percent of what she wants. The rest of the time you'll have to say no to her desire because

it is dangerous, or aggressive, or not what you want to do at that


And guess what? She's not going to like that!

So what do you do?

You try to lovingly "acknowledge her feelings." ("I see you're mad about leaving, but we really have to go. Okay?") You get a fit.

You try to reason. You get a fit.

You distract. You get a fit.

You give a warning. You get a fit.

You do a time-out. You get a fit.

Pretty soon you're having a fit too!

What happened?

Too often we make the mistake of speaking to toddlers as though they're small adults. They understand so much of what we say, it's sometimes hard to remember their limits. Psychologist Thomas Phelan calls this "the little adult assumption." He's right. Toddlers aren't small adults. Toddlers are unique-no longer babies, but not quite "kids." That's why hand-me-down discipline ideas designed for older kids don't work for them. They require a special approach all their own.

People will tell you you need to be more strict or more lenient. But what you really need are skills designed specifically for impulsive, distractible, inarticulate, self-absorbed, primitive toddlers.

First Let's Back Up-Way Back

"The child is nearer to the savage than to the angel."

-C. Gasquoine Hartley, "Mother and Son," 1923

Usually when people say, "It's ancient history," they mean, "Forget about it. It's not worth thinking about." But with toddlers, knowing a little ancient history is exactly what will help you be a terrific parent.

The starting place is your child's level of evolution. If that word makes you think about dinosaurs and fossils, you're on the right track! In dozens of key measures of brain maturity, toddlers are really pint-size Stone Agers! I know that sounds odd. But the language and problem-solving skills of a 12-month-old have more in common with a chimpanzee than a Girl Scout. Two-year-olds use mental processes very similar to those of cavemen. And three-year-olds think more like the first villagers, thousands of years before biblical times, than like your neighborhood Little Leaguers.

At birth your child begins a dramatic journey to adulthood. Starting from total helplessness, she will end up with the ability to recite Shakespeare, create paintings, and offer compassion and care to those in need-things no other animal has ever achieved. And the turning point for this major transition from brutes to humanity

occurs during the toddler years.

In fact, all five of the major feats that make human beings so

extraordinary blossom during the three incredible toddler years:

Walking on two legs

Manipulating things with our hands

Expressing words with our mouths

Combining ideas with our minds

Forming complicated social relationships

You knew your toddler was a busy bug, but that's really accomplishing things!

Mastering all those milestones requires a rapidly evolving brain-which is just what your toddler is blessed with. As the human race evolved, from knuckle-walking to using tools and words, brains got bigger and bigger. Up to a point.

Eventually the heads encasing our fetuses' big brains started becoming too large to slip through the birth canal. In order to get out our newborns had to develop smaller "no frills" brains equipped only to manage the bare necessities such as sucking, peeing, and keeping the heart beating. To make up for this "no frills" nervous system, Nature designed our children's brains to grow dramatically over the first year. By the time your baby's chubby legs take their first steps into toddlerhood, her big brain is off and running too!

A great way to understand this explosion of ability is to understand the biology behind it.

From Monkey Business to . . . Monkey Business?

Introducing "ORP": Sounds like something a baby would do, and it is!

"Our soul is full in all its parts of faint hints . . . flitting for an instant . . . and then gone forever, dim and scarcely audible murmurs of a great and prolonged life . . . of many generations."

-G. Stanley Hall, 1904

What comes out of a frog egg when it hatches? A little froggie? No! Out pops a little tadpole, more fish than amphibian, a small echo of the frog's evolutionary ancestry.

It's the same with humans. The entire history of humanity is encapsulated inside each developing fetus. How is that possible? Back in 1971, when I was a college student in Buffalo, New York, my embryology professor, Gordon Swartz, exposed me to a fascinating law of biology that has since become central to my understanding of toddlers.

This law states: Ontogeny recapitulates phylogeny. (Or ORP!)

Wait, don't run! I know this law sounds weird, but it's actually simple and very fun!

Let me translate ORP into plain English:

Ontogeny? That's your child's development. In short, her steady path of learning and growing, starting from the instant of her conception.

Recapitulates? That means "mirrors" or "repeats."

Phylogeny? That's the step-by-step process of our evolution beginning 1.5 billion years ago.

In short, as your child develops, from conception to adulthood, she will mirror many of the characteristics of our ancient ancestors as they slowly evolved into modern humans.

Here's a fun way to picture this in your mind: Imagine you could watch the growth of your baby like a time-lapse movie from the instant your sperm and egg met, all the way to her high school graduation. In a way, you'd also be watching how life on earth unfolded, a whirlwind tour of evolution, from worms to fish to rabbits to tiny monkeys.

Your fertilized egg, looking a bit like the first single-celled creature to appear on Earth (1.5 billion years ago), rapidly multiplies, morphing from a blackberry-shaped clump of cells to a tubular, wormlike embryo. At about five weeks your tiny fetus begins to rocket through a "fish" stage with flipper-like limbs and little gill-like slits on her neck (400 million years ago); then undergoes an "early mammal" stage with two lines of nipples on her chest and a tiny tail (180 million years ago); then several months before birth these disappear (leaving just the two nipples we're all born with and a few small tailbones at the bottom of the spine). As a beautiful newborn, your baby has tightly grasping fingers and toes, the ability to breathe and swallow at the same time, and maybe even some extra hair on her back, ears, and forehead-all characteristics of newborn monkeys (30 million years ago).

After birth this process continues to speed along. Once your child is able to pull herself onto two wobbly legs, she will have reached the evolutionary stage of the first teetering chimp-like steps (5 million years ago)! That's the starting bell that announces the arrival of toddlerhood, when even more tremendous advancements take place. Around her first birthday, she will be unsteady on her feet and her speech will be a jumble of grunts and gestures. Yet by her fourth birthday, her abilities will match what took the human race five million years to attain. She'll be able to run, speak, sing, and handily wield a fork or a toy hammer. She'll have a developed sense of humor and definite ideas about fairness, and her scribbled pictures will even become recognizable! In fact, by the end of toddlerhood, your child will have grown from just an adorable muffin to a smart little citizen able to start tackling reading and writing-tasks not achieved by even the brainiest adults until about eight thousand years ago.

Your toddler's development is not a perfect reflection of ancient evolution. She looks no more like a caveman or a chimp than a real Neanderthal looked like your 18-month-old tot. But her development does tend to echo the stages our ancestors passed through. That's why ORP is a fun way for you to picture your toddler's march to maturity, and a helpful guide for your communications with her.

Note: Those familiar with anthropology may be troubled by the license I take with nomenclature. Instead of Neanderthal I should have used the name Homo habilis and in place of caveman it would have been more accurate to say archaic Homo sapiens. Alas, those terms are a bit of a mouthful, so for the sake of simplicity, I chose names that were more familiar, albeit less precise.

Why It Helps to Think of Your Toddler

as a Living . . . Fossil

"What's past is prologue."

-William Shakespeare, The Tempest

Over the past fifty years, research in anthropology and on children's brain function has been building a steady foundation of facts to explain the uniqueness of toddlers.

Fossil hunters, using the bones of prehistoric animals, give us an increasingly clear picture of what the life and culture of the earliest humans were like. Huge advances in studying children's brain development have taught us what brain centers turn on at what ages, and what parts of movement, language, and thought they control.

Amazingly, the more we learn about how early man evolved and how young brains develop, the more we discover that there are many close parallels between them. In other words, your child is a kind of living fossil!

Again, no toddler is a carbon copy of a chimpanzee or Stone Ager. (Not even when life with one seems at its rockiest!) But as I will soon detail, communicating with your child will be a lot more successful when you understand how her development echoes prehistoric evolution.

Meet the Flintstones:

The Four Evolutionary Stages of Toddlerhood

Toddlerhood covers three years of exciting change that parallel five million years of human evolution. With so much happening, it's useful to see toddlers as falling into four distinct (but overlapping) phases:

The Charming Chimp-Child (12 to 18 months)

Some parents compare their wrinkled newborns to cute little monkeys, but toddlers? Developmentally, yes! To be more precise, by her first birthday your toddler has climbed the evolutionary ladder all the way up to the stage of the so-called Missing Link, between ape and man, who roamed the earth five million years ago.

From the Hardcover edition.

Revue de presse

"Karp offers a unique approach to the tantrums, melt-downs and overriding challenges that often accompany the demanding years from one to four.... Soothing and offers new hope and strategies to those who may have given up on making sense of the toddler years."—Publishers Weekly

“You want help? This is r-e-a-l help! The Happiest Toddler on the Block is one of the smartest parenting books of the past decade.  Over and over, parents will find themselves proclaiming, "Thanks, Dr. Karp…Now I get it! “—Kyle Pruett, MD, Professor of Child Psychiatry, Yale University School of Medicine and author of Fatherneed: Why Fathercare is as Essential as Mother Care for Your Child

"Dr. Karp's approach is terrific...and fun! His book will help parents, grandparents and everyone who cares for toddlers be more effective."—Martin Stein, MD, Professor of Pediatrics, University of California San Diego, Children's Hospital San Diego

"Dr. Karp helps parents turn the "terrible" twos into "terrific" twos. His work will revolutionize the way our culture understands toddlers!"—Roni Cohen Leiderman, PhD, Associate Dean, Mailman Segal Institute for Early Childhood Studies, Nova Southeastern University

“Dr. Karp has done it again! Parents will find reading The Happiest Toddler on the Block a joyous adventure…with pearls of wisdom waiting for them on every page.”—Morris Green, MD, Director, Behavioral Pediatrics, Indiana University, Riley Hospital for Children, editor, Pediatric Diagnosis

“Dr. Karp's excellent approach gives parents the tools they need. His simple methods make raising rambunctious toddlers a whole lot easier.”—Steven Shelov, MD, Editor in chief of American Academy of Pediatrics’ Caring for Your Baby and Young Child

“Dr. Karp’s new book is an innovative, unique and thoroughly enjoyable guide to toddler behavior!” —Donald Middleton, MD, Professor of Family Medicine, University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine.

"Parents will be delighted by this clever approach to communicating with toddlers. It allows us to see the world from our children's unique point of view."—Janet Serwint, Professor of Pediatrics, Director of the Harriet Lane Children’s Clinic, Johns Hopkins School of Medicine

"It really works! With great humor and a gentle touch, Dr. Karp shows how to raise happy, well-behaved toddlers. His book is invaluable.—Gabrielle Redford, Senior Editor, AARP The Magazine (and mother of 17-month-old twins)

Détails sur le produit

  • Format : Format Kindle
  • Taille du fichier : 4822 KB
  • Nombre de pages de l'édition imprimée : 336 pages
  • Editeur : Bantam; Édition : Revised (26 août 2008)
  • Vendu par : Amazon Media EU S.à r.l.
  • Langue : Anglais
  • ASIN: B0015DROVY
  • Synthèse vocale : Activée
  • X-Ray :
  • Word Wise: Activé
  • Composition améliorée: Non activé
  • Moyenne des commentaires client : 4.7 étoiles sur 5 3 commentaires client
  • Classement des meilleures ventes d'Amazon: n°51.787 dans la Boutique Kindle (Voir le Top 100 dans la Boutique Kindle)
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Jaime beaucoup ce livre. Si vous avez qu'un livre à choisir pour mieux gérer les tantrums de vos bébés, prenez celuis-ci sans hésitations.
J'ai déjà apprecié le livre Happiest baby on the block. Happiest toddler est aussi bien. L'auteur parte d'une manière simple et sans prétentions, mais fait vraiment comprendre la logique d'un bébé, et apporte de vraies conseils pratiques au quotidien.
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I have consulted this book many many times since buying it. Dr. Karp has been an enormous help in dealing respectfully and thoughtfully with our toddler!
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La méthode est très sympathique, il faut juste prendre le temps de la tester, la mettre en place et l'utiliser quand il faut.
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Commentaires client les plus utiles sur (beta) HASH(0x8e4d0a50) étoiles sur 5 556 commentaires
571 internautes sur 593 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
HASH(0x8e4f2720) étoiles sur 5 Many Techniques Really Work...although awkward at first 18 mars 2004
Par Un client - Publié sur
Format: Relié
Although the analogy to prehistoric man is overdone a bit, there are so many sensible, clear strategies to try with 1-4 year olds that really are working for us. Talking toddler-ese has really made a difference in the cooperation we are now getting from our 2 and 3 year olds. Mirroring their feelings and "wants" with short, repeated phrases that reflect the child's words, tone and body lauguage has quickly and almost magically stopped much of my toddlers' defiant, annoying behaviors. Karp emphasizes that what you say to someone who is really upset is less important than HOW YOU SAY IT. And his theory has proven itself to be correct in our home.
The only suggestion in the book that I have a problem with is using a hook and eye latch to lock a child in his room even for a very short time-out. I feel this can be scary for the child and although it may get the child to know that you do mean business, I prefer not to get compliance from my children with fear, guilt or humiliation. Karp does suggest that you explain to the child in "toddler-ese" how the locking mechanism works so that he will know the door will not open when mom uses it.
I also recommend another one of my favorite parenting reference books as a compliment to Karp's hardcover book called "The Pocket Parent". This is a very practical, quick read, little paperback book loaded with many positive discipline and communications tips written exclusively for parents of 2-5 year olds. Peppered with humor and organized alphabetically by behaviors such as: Anger, Bad Words, Biting, Bedtime and Mealtime Refusals, the "Gimmees", Interrrupting, Morning "Crazies", and Whining...Pocket Parent is a real sanity saver. Both books will lift your spirits with specific ideas to try as well as loads of compassionte support from authors that have been there, too... especially when you feel you are just about at your wits' end with the little ones.
273 internautes sur 288 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
HASH(0x8e4f2b88) étoiles sur 5 Very good ideas from the man who saved my sanity during the newborn phase 14 novembre 2008
Par Megan - Publié sur
Format: Broché
Dr. Karp's "Happiest Baby on the Block" book got me through the newborn phase, so this was the first toddler book I went to. It was a very interesting read. His basic premise is that toddlers are little cavepeople: the right side of their brain, which deals with language and logic, is not very developed, while the left side, which is very emotional, calls most of the shots. He talks a lot about how parents have to be an ambassador: keep relations happy, while putting their foot down when it really matters. He divides toddler behavior into three categories: "green light" behaviors, which are positive and should be encouraged; "yellow light" behaviors, which are the annoying but not completely unacceptable things toddlers do (whining, for example); and "red light" behaviors which are unacceptable because they are either dangerous or they disobey a key family rule. He gives a great deal of advice on how to deal with each of these three types.

I thought that this was a very honest book about parenting a toddler, despite the fact that some of the things that he said were rather jarring. Some of his advice is very much in opposite to other books, and what I think most parents think is the "right" way to parent. For example, he really emphasizes making compromises, and in at least one example encourages some white lies. Not exactly the type of advice I expect from a parenting book. But this also made it more realistic than other suggestions I've read about raising a toddler. Toddlers don't have the logic skills of an adult, and realistically you have to pick your battles.

The most interesting part of the book to me, and the main reason I think that this book is worth reading, is about talking at your toddler's level when he or she is upset. Karp points out that parents are usually very comfortable talking in toddler-ese when their child is happy, but when their child is upset they try to talk in a calming voice. This backfires, because they are using complex sentences, long words, and a monotonous voice that can be hard for a toddler to understand. So the toddler gets even MORE frustrated and upset. I thought that his solutions for dealing with this problem were well worth reading.

I haven't read the old edition, so I can't comment on what changes were made.
303 internautes sur 326 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
HASH(0x8e4f2bac) étoiles sur 5 Humor and Help for Frazzled Toddler Parents 22 janvier 2009
Par L. P. Arias - Publié sur
Format: Broché
The basic gist of the book is that in order to get through to our toddlers' still-developing "cave kid" brains, we need to, first, mirror what they are saying so that they know their feelings and communications have been heard and are acknowledged, and, second, use a particular way of talking that relies on short, repetitive phrases. Sounds simple in a way, but the truth is that this is not a very intuitive way to communicate -- particularly when you're dealing with a child who is very upset. The author points out that our typical response to an upset child is to talk quietly, trying to dissuade or distract the child from the situation -- and that's definitely true as far as my usual strategy . . . until I read this book. I first put the book's technique into action actually when I was still just halfway through the book. My 2 1/2 year old daughter woke up in hysterics at about 2 AM. When I went to her room half-dazed and desperate to calm her, I just reflexively resorted to the technique because I'd been reading about it the prior evening. I started mirroring her emotions with words such as, "You're crying! You say, Mommy hold me! You say, Mommy I'm scared!" As per the book's instructions, I also tried to capture at least some of my daughter's distraught emotional state in my tone of voice and with my gestures. I kept repeating the technique as she progressed through a few demands over the course of 5 - 10 minutes. But, the point is that the situation ended in JUST 5 or 10 minutes (not an hour or more as it has sometimes been in the past). I also remember clearly at one point, as I was mirroring my daughter's woes, she looked me in the eye and said, "Yeah!" She knew that she was being heard! For me, that moment showed me the validity of this technique. Toddler's are pretty smart, but they are emotionally immature ("cave kids") and their language skills are not that well developed. So, when a young child is upset and trying to get her point across, and then the parent responds with soft words that try to diminish the upset rather than acknowledge it . . . of course the kid gets even madder and more frustrated. Here she is screaming her little lungs out trying to get her point across and all Mommy does is try to hush her up. When my daughter responded "Yeah!" to my mirroring statements what I really saw in her eyes was relief: Mommy gets it! Mommy understands what I'm saying! Soon after that point, she let me calm her and put her back in her crib. And as I lay nearby until she fell back asleep, all I could think to myself was, "Oh my gosh -- this stuff works!!" I also want to mention that the rest of the book has a lot of great reminders about how to best communicate with our toddlers so that they feel respected and loved, while we get the essential outcomes we need and want to keep our kids safe and our homes sane. Reading these tips has reminded me that we can get a lot more out of our kids (and really out of life in general) with honey than with vinegar. Our toddlers want to have fun and feel empowered and the path of least resistance is often to let them do both, while still ensuring that essential rules are respected in the household. I appreciate the author's candor in saying that with toddlers a "fair" outcome may be the toddler having it her way 90% of the time, with the parent winning 10% of the time (at least, if we're smart, that's how the toddler will perceive things). So, it's not a 50-50 deal, but I'm okay with that because at the end of the day I know that the 10% stuff is what is really essential for me and my family and the 90% is mostly what being a parent should be about -- spending time playing with and enjoying our kids.
171 internautes sur 194 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
HASH(0x8e4f2ed0) étoiles sur 5 Good ideas, food for thought 3 août 2009
Par MSH Taylor - Publié sur
Format: Broché
If you are turning towards parenting books, I've found you need a variety of them in order to find some approaches that may work with your child. This one is good to have in your library, even if everything in the book doesn't work with you. For instance, I think his Fast Food Rule and Toddlerese concepts are good, but I just couldn't get them to work with my two year old. But, there's more to the book than that, it has some great ideas on little things to do to help the day to day life with a toddler. I use a lot of the ideas in the "reward green-light behaviors" chapter, like the star charts, hand checks, and "time-ins". One thing that is good about this book is that he does emphasize positive reinforcement, which I've found does help shape behavior of a willful toddler.
One thing that is annoying is his constant "this book is so great it will help you do this..." and "if you follow my advice, everything will be perfect!" The pages of quotes from parents who used his techniques and had them work "right away" can be frustrating if you've tried the same thing on your kid and it doesn't work. But, like I said, it does contain a lot of different techniques and ideas to try, so it's still worth a read.
90 internautes sur 102 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
HASH(0x8e4f5018) étoiles sur 5 The most Unrealistic Book On The Block! 20 juin 2013
Par Amazon Customer - Publié sur
Format: Broché
This book is not only unrealistic, but also annoying to read, I tried a few tricks and my son got even more mad each time, not to mention that the books over promises and is TERRIBLY repetitive, the whole book could have been in literally 5 pages. Reading it I had a sense the author must not have any children, and guess what? HE DOESN'T, if I knew that I would have read it, it's simply a joke, my son is not a caveman and I don't need to speak like an idiot to him.

Here's is my version of the famous #1 bestseller;

Chapter 1
Hello dear slow-learning reader, in my book you will find WONDERS, you learn how to magically make your toddler happy and calm, your little caveman will be tamed, and you will love your life, in the first few chapter you'll fall in love with me, and go tell everyone how this book changed your life, in the last chapters you'll learn how to fix every problem any child can and will ever face within 2 minutes, sounds CRAZY I know, but just continue reading and you'll see that I am an amazingly right man, yes you read right, this book is written by a MAN, don't worry, it will work, don't doubt me, I'm a man and I know what I'm talking about.. here we go, ready?

Chapter 2
Hello again frustrated caveman breeder, as I mentioned in the last chapter, by the time you finish this book you'll have a better life, and a much better relationship with your caveman toddler, first, let's learn how to handle any issue at all ever, when your toddler is upset and screaming that he does not want want to shower, do this, SSR and speak his language Whine-ese, here's how, first repeat what he says, whatever he says, repeat it like a parrot, to show u hear him, then speak in little short words like he does, then it is over, magic..

Laura was at the park with her daughter Emma, Emma wanted to take a toy by force from another child, Emma snatched the toy and ran, Laura was embarrassed but said to Emma while stomping her feet like her "no, no, nooooooo Emma wants toy, Emma wants toy now,nooo, but Emma, we no take toys from other cavemen, give, give, GIVE back, now now now" so Emma gave the toy back to the other kid and she NEVER EVER bothered Laura again

Chapter 3
Hello sleep-deprived sorry-looking parent of a caveman, as now you have become an ambassador in the land of cavemen, and you totally mastered their language, let's move on to how you reward the good behavior, first I will tell you that you are already doing an amazing job, then tell you that you are simply doing everything wrong, then correct it all with my magic words, and then you feel good about the $15 you spent on this book, and go get your kid out of the room he has been locked in for 2 hours so that you can read my long-repetitive-long book.
Alright, so your kid actually said "please" once today, let's celebrate, here's what you do, go talk to his dolls about it "Teddy bear I'm SOOOO HAPPY Jack said please to me today, I was so happy I cried for an hour, I'm so happy teddy, so happy that I don't realize I'm talking to a teddy bear, he said "please", Jack said "please", now I know he smacked me after he said it, and he said b***c please, not just "please" but it's okay, he said it" also another way of celebrating, call your friends and brag about him and what he did "Sara, you won't believe it, Jack said please, I was so happy, he is an amzing little boy" now after a few month your friends may stop taking your calls as you call them 24 times a-day to tell them about your caveman saying ok, and thank you, but it's worth it.

Mike and his son Riley were at the beach, Riley let Mike put his sun screen on, so Mike grabbed a mic and started singing and dancing loudly saying "Riley let me put his sunscreen on, I love Riley, Riley made daddy happy, no more crying, no more whining" and Mike did this for an hour while Riley was begging him to stop embarrassing him and just go home, Riley and Mike lived happily ever after.

Chapter 4
Ok, now you are a wonderful parent, not really, I'm just kidding, we haven't even started on the toughest thing yet, TANTRUMS, ok, let's get to it, in the next 2 chapters you'll learn how to be the best parent ever, you'll neve have issues again, these 2 chapters will be the most important thing you ever read, please read them over and over, your life will change forever, life as you know it, BAM, gone, new life, better life, trust me, I'm a man writing a book and I know..ready? here we go...

Chapter 5
When your kid misbehave, put him on time out

Chapter 6
When he comes out of time out, don't talk about the time out

The end.
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